AssemblyBoard

I don't really know what to name this thread...it's meant for those who joined the Assembly as adults (or at least teens who were on their own).  The Assembly, like many cults/toxic religious groups, sought to destroy our ties with parents and siblings who weren't in our little "super-overcomer" group.  Now that many of us have been out for a while, could some of you please post your stories and observations on being reconciled with family members?  Did you tell them why you got out?  Did you try to describe what the Assembly was like for you, and its effect on you?  How did they receive it?  Thanks.

Clarence Thompson

I trust others will comment as well.

Coming from a dysfunctional family environment, (BTW all families are dysfunctional in some way shape or form), at the time of my salvation the assembly provided for me what I thought I needed in a family.  What I now know is that it was actually an unhealthy and false "church" environment because it did not actually teach me to have a healthy relationship with Christ.

Anyway, I gave my energies to the assembly and the friendships therein, and sacrificed my connections with my family and friends.

Interestingly enough I have discovered that upon leaving the assembly the families have been quite accomodating to 'welcome' and include us in their activities, each of them having gone through their own life experiences as well.

Re. telling about my assembly experience, most people, including church folk, cannot understand nor relate to it, so I do not talk about it much except for with other former assembly members.  Also, I have apologized to those that I needed to apologize to.

Life is not what it would have been if I had not experienced the assembly years, but it is what I am willing to make of it now, and it is a work in progress.

More later, maybe,
Marcia

The first time I celebrated Christmas with my family (after coming out of the cult) was December, 2003.  That was also the last time I saw my mother alive.  She died 2 months ago, of a heart attack.  She was only 54. 

Part of me feels bitter against the assembly, because of all the times I put the group ahead of my family.  9 years wasted...time I could have spent with my mom if I'd known she was going to die.  Part of me feels guilt-I should have been a better daughter, I should have known she was sick, etc.

I don't know...maybe I'm just rambling...

No, not at all.  I had the opportunity to appologize to my dad for how I took away from the family in pursuing the Assembly.  It was one of the few times I saw my dad almost in tears as he had been waiting for those word for years.  I was fortunate to see him knowing he was going to die soon.  My mom died at about the same age as your mom when I was in the Assembly and I have lots of "I wonder how things would have been if I had been a decent son and helped with her dialasis instead of making all the meetings" thoughts.  I can't judge myself too harshly as I was young and stupid, but I wish I had known better.

To Marcia and Eulaha and others who are suffering guilt because of the way that they treated parents and family,

Your heavenly Father knows your pain and sorrow and He hears the cry of those who repent.  You will find comfort and consolation in His word.  He gave me this for you today. 
   

How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever?
         How long will You hide Your face from me?
How long shall I take counsel in my soul,
         Having sorrow in my heart all the day?
         How long will my enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;
         Enlighten my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,
And my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
         And my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken.
But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness;
         My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD,
         Because He has dealt bountifully with me.        Psalm 13


Whenever I would return home from a devastating session of being chatised by the Leading Brothers,  I had but to go to the Psalms to be refreshed and encouraged.

God bless,

Chuck Miller

Hi Chuck,

Thank you for the encouragement.

I can't say that I am suffering guilt.  There is something to be said about admitting when one is wrong and making things right.  It does have a healing affect.

Having said that, my Christian faith actually did me good in my "dysfunctional" family even during my assembly years.  However things would have been significantly different had I been a member of the church on the corner rather than the assembly.

Marcia

Hi Chuck:
Forgive me  if you have previously answered this query but I am curious as to whether you have been able to reconcile with any of those formerly in leadership who harmed you and your family. If you have, who took the initiative?
Verne

Verne,

We have been reconciled with all of our children and with all of those in leadership in Omaha.  Each of them initiated the reconciliation. 

Chuck