- ASK REVEREND BURT

Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. Box 2222
Barstow, Ca., 92233

Dear Friends,

In an effort to help as many people as possible, I am offering godly advice right here. Please, by all means, if you have a question, a problem, or a dilemna, feel free to post it, or to mail it to the address I have given above. I will then reply with wisdom that is indeed heavenly, and not as the world can give.
I received the following letter just yesterday:

"Dear Reverend Burt, I need your help. I keep trying and trying, but just cannot get past this certain sin that plagues my life. I often feel I have it beaten, but then I fall once again. I want to overcome so badly, but just cannot seem to find the way. Can you help me?

Thanks, Ted

Ted---

Let me tell you--the answer is easy. You just don't have enough faith. "Ask and ye SHALL receive, seek and ye SHALL find, knock and it SHALL be opened to you". Ted---you just need to CLAIM this!! Make it yours Ted--it's as simple as that!! You need to express your faith! You need to show God you mean business!! And what is the best way you can do that right now?? Ted---sit down right now, pull out your checkbook and tell God "I am not going to let the devil beat me!!" and write out a check for more than you can actually afford--this is TRUE faith my good man. Remember the widow who threw in her two last mites Ted?!!? You need to do the same!! Do it today!!! Claim your blessing!! You write that check Ted, write it for MORE than you can actually afford---give up your groceries and fast for a week if need be! (suggested donation not less than $100.00 dollars).
Say to the devil "I am giving this to God and you're not going to stop me!!" And then you run down to the Post Office--TODAY TED---and you drop that letter in the mail to:

Reverend Burt O'Leary Ministries
P.O. Box 2222
Barstow, Ca., 92233
(Ted---no personal check less than $100.00 please---send Cashier's check or Money order for a larger amount and expect an immediate blessing so incredible your overflowing joyful heart will barely be able to receive it!!!).

Do it today Ted. Make faith a reality--don't delay. If you would prefer to send the money to another cause, send it to the address below:

Needy Children
P.O. Box 2222
Barstow, Ca., 92233
(Cashier's Check please---you will get the money to the needy children much faster this way).

I hope I have helped you Ted. I believe God for a miracle in your life. I believe that you will be writing again very soon with a praise offering, and a letter of thanks for all that has happened because of making that commitment Ted. Because you have sown in faith, you shall reap your reward. You WILL overcome that sin Ted, if you take the steps I have mentioned, and REALLY express that faith by your giving to the Lord. Thanks for the letter.

Friends----I would love to hear from you, that I might impart to you some spiritual gift, some blessing, some encouragement. As the Lord said "Tis more blessed to give than to receive".

I look forward to hearing from you. Until then, may the Lord richly bless you.

In His service, Reverend Burt.

Brandy---

Thanks so much for your question. Let's start off by looking at a Scripture reference:

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female,
for ye are all one in Christ Jesus" (Gal. 3:28).

According to the above I could be a Jewish male into bondage, or a Greek female into free expression, and it wouldn't matter, because this physical world is not really what is important. However, there is another scripture in 1 Corinthians that mentions that a female's head should be covered. But what if a male is really a female inside? What if a person is experiencing what you experienced Brandy? What if Reverend Burt is really Reverend Burtina inside, but doesn't have the needed funds to make the change he so desperately wants to make? What if he rains tears of grief onto the pink bunny head slippers he wears each evening (with matching pink scarf and beret), dreaming of such a change, but knowing that financially he is unable to do so? (these are only "what-ifs" of course). Should such a one wear a head covering? I have to answer yes.

Brandy---it doesn't matter what you are--male or female, a male trapped in a female body, a female trapped in a male's body-- or even a Reverend who wears pumps with 5 inch heels for that matter. You are loved Brandy, that's what's important. But because of the verse in Corinthians, and the myriad of folks who exist, we should ALL wear head coverings in church. And Brandy---I have just what you need--isn't it amazing the Lord sent you to me? Please see below and order as soon as possible because they are moving fast!!

1)Reverend Burt O'Leary Pink Head Covering (for women--or if you think you might be one)-----$50.00
2)Reverend Burt O'Leary Blue Head Covering (for men---or if you think you might be one)-----$50.00
3)Reverend Burt O'Leary Pink and Blue Head covering (for those who aren't sure, or have had surgery)---$100.00

Brandy---I would go with offering #3--I can personally attest that the blue and pink head coverings are very comfortable, and are also machine washable.

I hope this answers your question Brandy. I KNOW you will want to buy one of the head-coverings and also help this blessed ministry at the same time. Please send your offering today!!

Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. Box 2222
Barstow, Ca., 92233
(Cashiers checks please)

I received the following message and thought I would share it with you:

"Dear Reverend Burt----

Do you believe that Psychics exist?"

Leroy Smythe
Smooker, West Virginia

Leroy---

Yes, of course I do. In fact, I myself am Psychic. And it has truly been a great help to me. Two weeks ago a friend of mine and I were going to see the Lakers play. We had to be to the Arena by 6:00 P.M., but first we had to stop at the Mall to pay a bill. On the way there we were forced to pull to the side of the road to make way for a blaring ambulance which had come up behind us on it's way to an emergency.

My friend said "Good Lord, that's loud. I sure hope everyone is alright". I replied "Yes they will be OK. In fact, I called the ambulance myself." My friend stared at me, perplexed, and asked "But why would you call an ambulance?" I replied "Well, friend, after we arrive and exit the car at the Mall, I am going to slip on some freshly spilled soda, and crack my head open on the cement. In an effort to save approximately a half hour in ambulance transit time, and to make it to the hospital, receive treatment, and make it to the game by 6:00 P.m., I have taken it upon myself to call the ambulance ahead of time."

When we arrived at the Mall and exited the car, I did indeed slip on some freshly spilled soda, and cracked my head wide open on the cement. But, due to my psychic ability, the ambulance was ALREADY THERE, and we were able to exit the hospital by 5:00 P.M. (I received 17 stitches) and make it to the Basketball game for tip-off at 6:00 P.M. !!! It is truly an amazing gift--but I can teach YOU how to receive it and use it for the same blessed results I have just recounted!! Write today for your copy of "Psychic Ability--Why you WILL buy this book" by Yours Truly. Don't miss out friends---this gift truly is one that can be used by all.

Send $100.00 Cashier's Check or Money Order to:

Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. Box 2222
Barstow, Ca., 92233

: Joe Sperling February 27, 2007, 02:03:48 AM

I received the following message and thought I would share it with you:

"Dear Reverend Burt----

Do you believe that Psychics exist?"

Leroy Smythe
Smooker, West Virginia

Leroy---

Yes, of course I do. In fact, I myself am Psychic. And it has truly been a great help to me. Two weeks ago a friend of mine and I were going to see the Lakers play. We had to be to the Arena by 6:00 P.M., but first we had to stop at the Mall to pay a bill. On the way there we were forced to pull to the side of the road to make way for a blaring ambulance which had come up behind us on it's way to an emergency.

My friend said "Good Lord, that's loud. I sure hope everyone is alright". I replied "Yes they will be OK. In fact, I called the ambulance myself." My friend stared at me, perplexed, and asked "But why would you call an ambulance?" I replied "Well, friend, after we arrive and exit the car at the Mall, I am going to slip on some freshly spilled soda, and crack my head open on the cement. In an effort to save approximately a half hour in ambulance transit time, and to make it to the hospital, receive treatment, and make it to the game by 6:00 P.m., I have taken it upon myself to call the ambulance ahead of time."

When we arrived at the Mall and exited the car, I did indeed slip on some freshly spilled soda, and cracked my head wide open on the cement. But, due to my psychic ability, the ambulance was ALREADY THERE, and we were able to exit the hospital by 5:00 P.M. (I received 17 stitches) and make it to the Basketball game for tip-off at 6:00 P.M. !!! It is truly an amazing gift--but I can teach YOU how to receive it and use it for the same blessed results I have just recounted!! Write today for your copy of "Psychic Ability--Why you WILL buy this book" by Yours Truly. Don't miss out friends---this gift truly is one that can be used by all.

Send $100.00 Cashier's Check or Money Order to:
Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. Box 2222
Barstow, Ca., 92233

Dear Reverend Burt,
Just a few questions about this story maybe you could help with since you are of such great ability >:D

1)Who did the lakers play, did they win are you sure it was 6pm you heard
2)whats the name of the Arena that the lakers play in? ;D
3 How on earth did he manage to fall and crack his head, get to the mall, hospital receive 17 stitches and the lakers game and still make tip off? I assume this is a lakers home game. I have been to Los Angeles and wow traffic during the time frame indicated hmmmmm ;)
4 Can you tell me in your psychic ability will my husband let me send you 100 bucks :-\

warmest regards
c

PS I have my checkbook ready only say the words and I shall write :-\

Christine----

The whack on the head I took has given me a form of strange amnesia. I have forgotten many of the details concerning the game (who played, who won, the venue, and the "tip off time"--I was just giving an estimate, though I do know we did make it on time), but amazingly, my psychic ability has not wavered a bit. In fact, I knew you were going to post on this thread. See below----I have cut and pasted something I wrote down a week ago:

2-18-07

A person named Christine will be posting soon questioning my abilities. She will ask if she should indeed send in $100.00 "if her husband will let her", and of course, she will send in the money. I will have enough then to purchase that ticket for the Mexican Cruise."

Of course, I was kidding about the Mexican Cruise---the monetary donations I receive go to either needy children, or to the furtherance of the Gospel. I am really not too sure why I went to the Lakers game in the first place, not being a fan and all, but it did reveal my psychic ability, and did lead to you, Christine, giving generously to this ministry. You WILL send the money in to this address:

Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. Box 2222
Barstow, Ca., 92233
Thanks ahead of time for sending that Cashier's check Christine.

: Joe Sperling February 28, 2007, 01:56:09 AM

Thats Ok my dear Rev. Burt. Thanks so much for clearing that up. I wasn't questioning your ability but perhaps it was my unbelief...Oh the shame of it all

Dear Rev. Burt
Forgive me for my disbelief
I admit that i am filled with disbelief
and have been preoccupied with this disbelief
I thank you for showing me the way to beleive
and hopefully will convince my spouse of his disbelief
so that he will grant me the 100 dollars to send you.

best wishes
C

Dear Friends,

I'll share one more letter with you:

"Dear Reverend Burt,

One doctrine I have trouble with is the Virgin birth. I find it very hard to believe. Are there any other
documented cases of a virgin birth? It might make it easier for me to believe if I knew it had happened more than once".

Thanks, Chester Furlong, Freeman, Texas

Chester---

Thanks for the question. No--there are no other "documented" cases of a Virgin birth. The only other Biblical reference to a birth that might have come close to being immaculate was "Joshua, son of Nun". However, we do not have any details concerning this nun, and therefore we cannot put it in the classification of a miraculous birth, though being born of a nun, who had kept her vows, would truly be an amazing thing.

I'm glad you asked though, because this question, along with many others, are tackled in my newest book "Your Bible Questions Answered" by Reverend Burt O'Leary. Such questions as "Who was the shortest man in the Bible?" or "Was a motorcycle mentioned in the Bible?" or "Was a prayer meeting ever held near a Honda?" are answered, along with "What was Rachel's favorite cigarette?" or "Was the world created during a baseball game?" or "Did anyone ever get stoned before the hippie generation?" These, along with many other questions, are answered in a concise and factual manner, with supporting Scriptural references, to satisfy the most curious enquirer. Order today!! Please send $112.75 ($12.75 to cover shipping and handling) to:

Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. box 2222
Barstow, Ca., 92233
(this book is worth it's weight in gold, so if you can send gold it would be much appreciated)
Thank you my faithful friends!

"My name is Oswald Merriwether of the Internal Revenue Service" (pushes glasses with very thick lenses back up to the bridge of his nose, and plops a large briefcase onto the desk). "In a combined effort with the FBI, I am seizing control of this Thread due to suspected criminal activity, and non-payment of taxes on earned income. A 'Reverend Burt O'Leary', a "minister" of the Gospel, has been using a computer owned by someone else, and this thread, along with several other threads, to plead for funds from unsuspecting victims, then absconding the money, which he uses for "the work here and abroad". Of course, this "work" includes stops in Mazatlan and Maui, where he claims the "fields are white onto harvest", and where he is known to spend upwards of $5000.00 per day on rental properties he uses during his "mission outreaches".

Everything has been siezed (motions towards several boxes of head-coverings, books, etc.) and no posting will be allowed until this matter has been settled, and all improprieties have been investigated. Your cooperation in this matter is greatly appreciated. Anyone knowing the whereabouts of Mr. O'Leary should report this information immediately to the authorities. Thank you."

Hello friends, Reverend Burt O'Leary here.

It's been quite a long while since I have posted. I have been away visiting. I won't go into details, but the place where I stayed for a while was a bit different than that to which I am accustomed. But at least there were (3) square meals a day, free dental work, medical help if needed, and a bed (though very uncomfortable) to sleep in.

Most of the earthly amenities I am used to had to be bartered for though--a simple pack of cigarettes (though I, myself, do not smoke as my body is the temple of the Holy Ghost) can cost one his lunch in trade for a week! One also needs to pay for protection in that place. But thank the Lord, I am now back in good old Barstow, and pursuing the work of the Lord.

So, I thought I would come to you my dear friends, not that I need your assistance, for the Lord will take care of me, but because I thought I would give you the opportunity to be blessed by helping one of the Lord's true servants. The other night, as I lay upon my bed, praying about how I could be a blessing to others, I heard a loud voice say "Oh man greatly Beloved, because you have not asked for yourself, but have asked for others to be blessed, I will give you the very desires of your heart". I said "Thank you Lord. But let me have only those things YOU desire for me-- for I am thy servant, oh Lord".

The next day I was led by the Lord to Rodeo Drive, in Beverly Hills. As I passed by a store window, I saw a jewel encrusted baby lamb jacket of the highest quality imaginable. It was very costly, in terms the world would use, but I knew that to the Lord the cost is but a pittance. Dear friends, I know the Lord wants me to have that jacket---I just do not have the resources at this time to provide myself with what the Lord wants for me. As I thought upon the jacket, the Lord impressed the following verse upon my heart:

"But whoever has the world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?"(1 John 3:17)

Dear friends, will you allow the Reverend Burt O'Leary to go in need? Is that what you really want?? Will you indeed close up the very bowels of your heart, and not give to a brother who is a man greatly beloved, and a true servant? Think about it my friends. If you do indeed say "no" I have to ask you my friend, how does the love of God abide in you? Please friends, do not let your beloved Reverend Burt O'Leary go without that which the Lord desires for him. Please give today, won't you friends? Help Reverend Burt stay warm at night with that jewel encrusted baby lamb jacket, that will bring so much comfort to his heart, as he labors in prayer for others each night. My bedsheet is truly drenched with my own tears every night, as I pour forth intercession and supplication for you my very dear friends, in hoping you will respond to such a blessed opportunity to give, and to be a great part of this blessed ministry. Please do not miss out dear friends! Be a part of the Lord's work today!!

Please send in your offerings today:

Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. Box 2233
Barstow, Ca., 92233
(no personal checks please)

: Joe Sperling March 22, 2008, 12:29:52 AM

Hello friends, Reverend Burt O'Leary here.

The next day I was led by the Lord to Rodeo Drive, in Beverly Hills. As I passed by a store window, I saw a jewel encrusted baby lamb jacket of the highest quality imaginable. It was very costly, in terms the world would use, but I knew that to the Lord the cost is but a pittance. Dear friends, I know the Lord wants me to have that jacket---I just do not have the resources at this time to provide myself with what the Lord wants for me.

Please send in your offerings today:

Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. Box 2233
Barstow, Ca., 92233
(no personal checks please)

Very Reverend O'Leary,

I saw that exact jacket you are talking about in one of the pictures that I took during my visit to the Ocean View NASCAR Freeway along the coast of CA. In the picture, the backside of the label is shown, which says "Barstow" under the last word, "dryer".

However, the pattern of spots on the jacket isn't very clear in the photos, ;)

I have two missing lambs, so I'm curious about what the pattern of spots looked like on the jacket in the shop.

Since gas prices have sky-rocketed, I will be stuck in the Midwest's moving earth and unable to race my Ferrari along Speed-demon's Coastal Trail for some time.

Any information that you can give me will be appreciated,

M

P.S. Here's to thicker bars and stronger locks..........

Moonflower----

Reverend Burt here saying thanks so much!! I wanted to say that the letters that flowed in with donations were
touching indeed. I am wearing the lambskin jacket, even as I type. It is so comfortable--I am
sure the Lord is very happy with those who made it possible for me to obtain it. Here is a
sample of one of the letters I received. It held only a $1.00 donation, but every cent is
gratefully accepted when it comes to completing the Lord's good work:

"Dear Reverend Burt---

Enclosed is my "generous" offering. Why the hell do you need a lambskin jacket encrusted with jewels, for
Pete's sake!!?? The Lord LED you to Rodeo Drive?? That's like saying the Lord LED me to the Liquor
store to buy that six pack of Bud I drank last night before I dozed off and entered oblivion!! I hope
you enjoy the jacket! You won't need a jacket where you're going for eternity!

Thanks, Bertram Jackson, Collingswood, KY"

Thanks so much Bertram. You're so right--I won't need a jacket as I walk on those blessed streets up
above. I'm sorry to hear you were "led" to buy that Budweiser, Bertram-- I really don't think that was
the Lord's voice. His children should be consuming something more worthy of their kingly status, like a
cool bottle of Heineken for example. But thank you for your donation--it really helped to fulfill the will of the Lord for his dear servant. Next time you may think of sacrificing a bit more financially though--it really is a wonderful opportunity for you to be used by the Lord in fullfilling his will. In fact, the same store where I was able to purchase that jacket, has a jewel encrusted cap made of the same smooth and soft lambskin. I know the Lord wants me to have it or he would not have led me back there this past weekend. Bertram---God is the God of second chances----won't you donate again? And donate all you can this time---in doing so you will not only be blessing the Lord's dear servant, you will also be blessing yourself in the process!! I will only receive a jewel encrusted lambskin cap, you will receive a much greater reward indeed!! Don't fail to repsond to this opportunity to be a blessing Bertram--instead of sending one "Washington", why not send two "Franklin's" instead?

Reverend Burt O 'Leary
P.O. box 2222
Bartstow, Ca., 92233

Hello Friends----

I wanted to invite all of you to go fishing Saturday, 5-24-08. Bring a rod, reel and
plenty of bait, and go to the Santa Monica Pier in Southern California. For every fish
that is caught I will be donating $5.00 to the "Children's Fund" for Colombia. All I ask is
that you make a $10.00 donation to this ministry to cover the costs first.

Send a cashier's check or money order, and make it out to Reverend Burt O'Leary, C/O Burt O'Leary Ministries. I will make sure the money is then forwarded to those poor children who are so deeply in need at this time. It really is a great cause and I do it every year. It is my own personal invitation to you to have an absolutely wonderful time of fishing. Be sure to bring a camera, so you can take pictures of the event, and can always remember that you were part of a truly blessed day. I will not be able to be there as I will be ministering in Las Vegas the whole weekend. But my thoughts and prayers will be with all of you! I just know that you will catch a lot of fish, and feed a lot of hungry children in the process. Please don't forget to donate to this ministry first though---it is your "seed offering", and a guarantee that the fish will be biting on your line! Have fun dear friends! Send $10.00 for registration fee to:

Cash for Bass
C/O Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. box 2222
Barstow, Ca., 92233

: Joe Sperling May 17, 2008, 12:34:36 AM

Burt!
What a coincidence! I'm going fishing for sharks in Vegas the very same weekend that you will be there! Fisherman Quinn wants to meet you, so I'm taking him with! He has $10,000 CASH with him and is real excited to contribute to your cause.

>:D >:D >:D

Here's a real life Reverend Burt:

"I've never had the Lord say, 'Jesse, I think that car is a little bit too nice.' I've had vehicles and the Lord said, 'Would you please go park that at your house. Don't put that in front of my house. I don't want people to think that I'm a poor God.'" (Jesse Duplantis, "When Will We Yield To The Anointing of Wealth II," April 10, 2005)

Jesse Duplantis: "People told me, 'Well, they say, Jesus was poor.' When was He poor? I would like to know when He was poor. Well, He was born in a stable. Why? Why was He born in a stable? Because that short, deaf lady lost their reservation. He couldn't get into the inn. Think about that for a minute...And He had 12 full time people on His staff. Some were married and He took care of them. He had 70 part timers. You don't gamble for rags Marcus."
Marcus Lamb: "Yeah."
Jesse Duplantis: "You don't gamble for rags. You gamble for some clothes that cost. Don't you? He wanted a donkey that had never been rode. As I said earlier, 'You might want a car that has never been drove.'
Marcus Lamb: "He had a full time treasurer on staff."
Jesse Duplantis: "That's right! And stole for three years and the other guys didn't know about it."
Joni Lamb: "And wise men came to see Him."
Jesse Duplantis: "That's right! I mean He wasn't three minutes on the ground and the three wise guys are looking for Him with what? Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh. Let me tell you something, this concept that Jesus was in poverty is totally wrong!" (Jesse Duplantis, Marcus Lamb, and Joni Lamb, Daystar Fall, "Share-A-Thon," September 15, 2004)

"If I give $1,000 dollars I deserve to get back $100,000 because I am just, that's not greed!" (Jesse Duplantis, December 19, 2003 TBN, "The just shall live by faith.")

"With fierce prayers and determination to see my mother healed, I started talking to God. "What is going on here?! I'm praying! Dad's praying! Why isn't she healed? You cannot allow death to defeat me, God. You made a covenant with me through Jesus' blood! And that covenant says by His stripes we were healed! Where is that healing? If you break this covenant with me, you'll have to cease to be God! You must keep covenant with me. You must obey your Word!" I was honest with God. He knew how I felt, so what was the point in hiding it? I was confused. I was hurt. I didn't know what else to do. That is when God spoke up, "Jesse, I have a covenant with you, yes. However, I have one with your mother as well. You are praying for her healing. She is praying in her heart for Me to take her home. Now, I will obey My Word. But you and your daddy are battling your mother's will. It is her life at stake. You have Me in a hard place, Jesse. Someone has got to give in. Get yourselves together and tell Me what I am to do! (Jesse Duplantis, "My Experience Doesn't� Change God�s Word," Article C-Faith) Can you imagine God asking a person to tell him what to do because He is in a tight spot? - author

It's not very funny though. :(

Hello Dear friends,

Reverend Burt O'Leary here. I happened upon this bulletin board again and was amazed to find
that a subject being discussed here fit in well with an idea the Lord recently gave me. They
are educational tools for children. They are dioramas, but created by me, so they are packaged
as "O'Learoramas". They depict scenes from the Bible, and are very detailed and life-like. I had
created a "Jericho O'Learorama", complete with collapseable walls, and miniature trumpets for the
Israelite figurines to carry. An assortment of miniature Kosher foods are available for the figurines,
along with miniature clothing and weapons. Friends, bless your children with these life-like creations
of Bible events so that their knowledge can grow, and wisdom will be implanted in them now, not later.

Just recently I had created an "O'Learorama" of Elisha and the two she-bears, which, by coincidence, was the subject being discussed on the board. The O'learorama comes with Elisha, the two bears, extremely life-like, with fierce growls on their faces, and 42 children sprawled in different positions on a hillside. An ambulance is available (though not historically accurate, the children just love them), with a workable siren and moving wheels, along with miniature bandages and stretchers that the wounded children fit into perfectly. If you are interested in ordering the O'Learorama of Elisha and the bears, or want more information on other Bible scenes available please order below. One tenth of all proceeds will go to some charitable contribution. I promise I will not use any proceeds towards the purchase of new leather seats for my Lexus, though they desperately need replacement or re-upholstery now. I will choose to suffer instead so someone else less fortunate may be blessed!

Elisha and the Bears O'learorama $499.99
Ambulance with miniature attendants $59.99

Jericho O'Learorama $569.99
Optional clarinets (to replace trumpets if in more of a festive mood) $89.99
Kosher food (miniature Rabbi available if the chidren want to pretend the food is being blessed before
being eaten)----$59.99 Rabbi----$249.99

Please send all orders (tax is included in sell price) and requests for other Olearorama's available
to:

Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. Box 2222
Barstow, Ca, 92233 (no personal checks please)

May the Lord richly bless you.

: Joe Sperling October 04, 2008, 05:00:27 AM

:rofl: This is too funny!!

Do these items come with hamburgers?

Hello Friends!!

Reverend Burt O'Leary here, and as always I am looking to bless others, and fill
their hearts with the kind of joy that just will not go away! As you all know I am
the Leader of a great ministry which is involved not only with World Evangelism,
and relief for the poor and fatherless, but also using innovative ways to bless the very
hearts of God's dear children also!! "Comfort ye, comfort ye my people" says the
Lord, and I intend to do just that by continuing to create ways that you can become
a blessing not only to this valuable ministry, but to your own needy spirits. By learning
to give, one is actually receiving blessings, so it is always blessed to give to this ministry
my dear friends.

As always, I am engaged in writing books, and creating ways to bring great awareness
to God's people of his love and presence. I had offered recently some "O'Learoramas"
and the response has been tremendous!! Thanks to all of you who ordered the "Elisha
and the Bears" O'Learorama--you not only blessed this ministry, but also added to the
rewards you will receive one day before the throne--none of your blessed contributions
will be forgotten, and of that we can be assured!! Bless you my friends!! I was able to
purchase a new lamp, encrusted with Topaz and emeralds, with some of the proceeds--and
I am truly grateful--my eyes are not very good, and the lamp light will help me to spend
more time poring over my Bible for blessed nuggets I can share with you. Bless you for that!!

But today, dear friends, I would like to give you the opportunity to bless this ministry even
more----and in so doing receive something that is really quite priceless. For over two years now
I have been training two parrots to learn and recite scripture, and they have now learned enough
spiritual vocabulary to be a complete blessing to anyone who owns them. They not only quote
scripture, but have the unique tendency to really "open up" around visitors, so that your friends
and acquaintances will be sure to hear a bit of the Bible when visiting your home.

Imagine having a dinner party with several guests invited who are not well acquainted with one another. Many times there is a bit of awkward silence or uneasiness as guests get to know one another. But if you were to acquire "Petey", one of these two amazing parrots, He would immediately begin to talk. Instead of the awkward silence pervading the scene, he might quote a verse such as this one from 2 Kings 9 (imagine their amazement as he quotes this long verse in perfect repetition and cadence). Imagine as the silent dinner table filled with guests is suddenly inundated with your parrot's voice quoting this sacred text from his bird cage nearby:

"For the whole house of Ahab shall perish: and I will cut off from Ahab him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel: And I will make the house of Ahab like the house of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, and like the house of Baasha the son of Ahijah: And the dogs shall eat Jezebel in the portion of Jezreel, and there shall be none to bury her. Ack!!!". (from 2 Kings 9:8-10)

You can be assured that there will be an immediate response when your guests hear a parrot quoting from the Bible. Not too many parrots quote from scripture, and they will be impressed that you are teaching your bird messages from sacred scripture.

Or imagine you are having a birthday party for your 8 year old son, and many of his little friends are there who have never heard scripture. What a perfect opportunity!!! In the midst of the festivities, imagine "Jimbo", the other parrot, who is extremely vocal, spouting off this scripture from Revelation:

"AND WHOSOEVER WAS NOT FOUND WRITTEN IN THE BOOK OF LIFE WAS CAST INTO THE LAKE OF FIRE!! ACK!!!(parrots have a habit of saying "ack" after quoting things).

The door of opportunity will definitely be opened as the children and their parents have an opportunity to comment on the verse, and the amazing ability of the parrot. "Jimbo" is guaranteed to be the life of the party!! Both parrots have extensive scripture knowledge, and will give you hours and hours of enjoyment.

"JIMBO" : Blue/Yellow Macaw. Fond of screeching verses of judgment, wrath and damnation. Knows over 120 Bible verses, 3 years old------- $4,750.00 + tax

"PETEY" : African Grey. Beautiful and endearing. Extensive knowledge of Scripture and able to recite verses with over 40 words, or more! 5 years old----- $5,675.00 + tax

Please take advantage of this rare offer friends! Bless this ministry by purchasing one of these exquisite birds, and bless yourself by so doing. Don't miss out on this blessed opportunity!!!! Send check with your address and phone number to:

Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. Box 2222
Barstow, Ca., 92233
no personal checks please---money order/cashier's check only

Thanks dear friends, and God bless you!!

Hi Rev. Burt!

You may not be aware, but this BB is primarily for former members of a group that was called The Assm. of George Geftakys. This fellow George, who led the group, really knew how to keep us on the edge of our seats with his exciting sermons (not unlike you do with your fine contributions to this BB).

As you probably already know, as a polished huckster, the real key to making a good sales pitch is to have some kind of a rhetorical hook that really reaches out and produces an indelible memory in the mind of the sucker, er--- I mean the listener. >:D

George had a number of these lines and to this very day I find myself fondly repeating a number of them. This gets me around to the point (finally) of your parrot offer and whether or not I could get one of these wonderful birds and have him trained to say these phrases of GG from the ol' days!

If somehow we could get to the secret treasure trove of hidden tapes from GG days we could play them for a parrot and within weeks could be listening again to: "Don't leave your change on the counter friends", or "The Spirit will leave you as quick as the snap of a gnat's wing if you allow your mind to wander---", ad naseum.

Thanks for giving us the bird Rev. Burt, so to speak, with your truly novel concept of using these talking pets and I know your ministry will really take flight as a result.

Thanks, Mark C.

: Joe Sperling January 15, 2009, 03:46:01 AM

Hello Friends!!

"JIMBO" : Blue/Yellow Macaw. Fond of screeching verses of judgment, wrath and damnation. Knows over 120 Bible verses, 3 years old------- $4,750.00 + tax

"PETEY" : African Grey. Beautiful and endearing. Extensive knowledge of Scripture and able to recite verses with over 40 words, or more! 5 years old----- $5,675.00 + tax

Please take advantage of this rare offer friends! Bless this ministry by purchasing one of these exquisite birds, and bless yourself by so doing. Don't miss out on this blessed opportunity!!!! Send check with your address and phone number to:

Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. Box 2222
Barstow, Ca., 92233
no personal checks please---money order/cashier's check only

Thanks dear friends, and God bless you!!

Are you still around, Son of Blago? Great! I'd like to make a contribution to your ministry!

I'm in the business of protecting wildlife from the carnivorous republicans and would like to donate some "endagered" species to guard your valuable scripture-quoting birds.
These animals are very quiet, unobstrusive and are just what you need, now that the world knows of your ministry and your innocent fledglings! They will stand guard 24/7 to protect that little flock of properly trained parrots from any and all wolves.

In exchange, I will expect a chair upholstered in red velvet with gold arms next to you at your feast table.

You will not be disappointed in these animals. They are trustworthy and beautiful! You will be the envy of all that know you!! They have been trained to appreciate a properly trained bird when they see one!

Please pick the two that meet your fancy and they will be sent, in secret, to the dark corners of your home.

http://www.gotpetsonline.com/bobcat/bobcat-photo/bobcat-kittens.html

Here's hoping that your days will be numbered, er, blessed! Mene, Mene Tekel Upharsin!! Sieg Heil!

Thank you for the article on the bobcats Moonflower!! It is much appreciated. But I already
have a couple of trained house cats that "meow" to various hymns and songs. I can let both of them go
for the very affordable price of $1575.00. Their rendition of the song "cats in the cradle" brings
me to tears every time.

And Mark C.---why yes, certainly you could train one of these birds to say: "The Spirit will leave you as quick as the snap of a gnat's wing if you allow your mind to wander". I understand that George had a habit of clearing his throat in a certain way also----I'm sure the parrot could learn to mimic that sound also. What a blessing that would be!!

Just imagine: "Don't leave your change on the counter friends" Awk! followed by the sound of a
throat being cleared loudly. It would truly be awe-inspiring. Mark-- Just send a check in for the full amount---don't forget to sign it----and you will be well on your way to hearing the sounds of glory these birds can give you on a daily basis.

Dear Friends, I do appreciate the "bids" that have been coming in on the trained parrots, but I must clarify that the prices are fixed and not subject to negotiation. Far too much time and labor have gone into training these two winged animals to let them sell below their real value. I do appreciate the cards and letters though, and the several monetary offers I have received. I have received many, many responses, but really only have time and space to respond to a few of them:

To Ernie Stevens in Midland, Texas: Yes, you most likely could train one of them to sound like Drew Carey on "The Price is Right", and sell things at your weekly garage sales-- Great idea! Just send the check, and I'll leave the rest up to you.

To Nora Wellshammer in Shreveport, La: If you buy them you can dress them up all you want to--I really don't care what you do with them to tell you the truth. But the "bid" you submitted is just not acceptable.

To Clive White in Fargo, ND: I'm sorry that you'd like to see me and my two parrots in a fiery place like that for all of eternity. That really is not a very nice thing to wish upon another person.

Friends, really now. How can you expect to be blessed unless you pay full value on these birds, or more, if so led by the Lord? They are really amazing animals----I'm sure someone out there could really use a parrot who quotes scripture. Look into your heart of hearts will you friends? The Lord is COUNTING ON YOU to keep this ministry alive.

Send check or money order to:

Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. box 2222
Barstow, Ca., 92233

P.S. , Sarah Peters in Laremie, Wyoming: No, I have never tasted deep fried parrot wings and do not intend to either. But thank you for the recipe.

Hello Dear Friends----

Reverend Burt O'Leary here saying Blessed be the name of the Lord! I have a wonderful, wonderful offer for you today that is truly going to make your life so much blessedly easier! We all know what it is to be assailed by doubts and fears. Sometimes it can be very difficult to believe, and to hold onto one's faith. We think to ourselves how wonderful it would be if some of the struggles and trials could just be alleviated for a time! I, myself, a godly man, suffer from these things, so I can imagine how you, the average layperson, can be assaulted by this same problem. I had labored in prayer about this for several weeks, asking "Dear Lord, please show me the way so that I can help my dear brethren".

Then I came across this article:

http://web-japan.org/trends00/honbun/tj990527.html

A robotic monk! What a great idea!! Someone who can do your believing FOR you! So, in like manner, led and directed with guidance from the Lord himself, I have designed and built an "Olearoreverend"(registered trademark) which is a robot that resembles me so closely it's uncanny. Or, he can look exactly like you if you send your bodlily statistics (height, weight, etc.) and a good photo of yourself. The "Olearoreverend(R)" is dressed as a Minister of God, including collar and vestments. He also has an extra change of "regular" clothes--he's a reverend, he's a layman--he'll be anything you want him to be! You simply activate him, and he'll do your believing FOR you---it's that simple. And when I say "believing" I mean all that that entails---praying, reading, worshiping, fellowshipping---the Olearoreverend (R) will do them ALL for you, so that you can pursue the other pleasures of life, as I do, such as boating, shopping, dining in 4 star restaurants, or waxing your new Ferrari or older 1946 Bentley. There is no believing robot quite like the Olearoreverend (R).

There is another robot on the market whose designer claims: "It will even believe in things they wouldn't believe in Salt Lake City". My friends, that is quite a claim indeed. Do not fall for it. No, friends, if you are going to buy a believing robot, purchase an "Olearoreverend" (R). Imagine friends, you sit in your Lazy Boy, feet up, Ice tea in hand, while the "Olearoreverend"(R) is upon his knees, doing your prayer list for you!! Simply set the "prayer mode" and you are on your way. Why be concerned about praying for your family, when with the click of a switch, the Olearoreverend(R) can do it FOR you?

He can pray simple prayers, or, if for example, you are hosting a "prayer meeting" in your home one evening, just set the "prayer mode" to "elite" and he will do your praying for you in such an exalted manner that it will simply amaze the rest of the group. You will be thought of as being on "a higher sprititual plane" from then on, all because you were intelligent enough to take advantage of this wonderful offer.

You can even send the robot Olearoreverend (R) to church FOR you. Let him sit through the sermon and take notes--he is an excellent scribe! Imagine my friends, no more missed Sunday NFL games!! How blessed is that??

Or, send him to a Bible study, where he can ask/state obscure, mystical questions and statements for you. Just set the "Bible study mode" dial to NEE and later you can view the other study members reactions to your incredible spirituality simply by down-loading them visually from the "Olearoreverend's" (R) memory banks.

Take advantage of this amazing and truly wonderful offer today!! Once again friends, you can bless yourself by blessing this great ministry by being as sacrificial as possible with your finances. Send check or money order for $48,675.30 (+ $375.00 shipping and handling) to:

Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. Box 2222
Barstow, Ca., 92233

God bless you dear friends!!

Dear Rev.,

There was a time when I would have tried to come up with the $'s to get that Robot (think ANOP's and seminars)! Especially if you could have him made him up to look just like me!

A robot (in some religious environments) is about the most "spiritual" that you can get. What I mean is, there are absolutely no human weaknesses to struggle with--- no doubts, fears, desires, etc.---- what a wonderful life (R)! Ah, just think, you could pray and read your bible always and never be interrupted by sleep, eating, or wanting any worldly distractions that might keep you from ones disciplined climbing of the Heavenly Ladder!

Rev. you don't know, but Joe could tell you that a robot could also function perfectly for evangelism. Why, there used to be a couple of guys who would drive down Van Nuys Blvd. in a car with flames on the side--little people were pictured in the flames burning up (R)-- and one of the guys would shout out in monotone the repeated phrase: "Bible-- Church---Church--Bible--etc.!! Really!

Yes Rev., a robot really is exactly what God wants for us as his people. Once you win the victory and put to death your humanity then God can really get his glory in your life. This is really a change we can believe in! Speaking of which, maybe I can get a govt. grant via the "stimulus package (R)" to get my hands on one of these robots? 8)

Thanks again Rev. for considering "the forgotten man (R)" by allowing us to perform spiritually to perfection 24/7 and yet to still be able to watch NFL football all Sunday long!!!

Mark C. (R)

Endofrever Burt,

Your offer sounds legit, and I'm not one to fall for gimmicks, so I'm looking into purchasing a mommy model.

I want to start forming my children from their moment of birth. What I'm looking for is a robot that can hold a child down on a "mat" while covering his mouth. It should be able to whisper, "You're going to hell in a reed basket if you don't pipe down."

Do you have a nursing model? This is the ultimate in perfection of holiness I want to present that picture from the moment of birth.

In fact, now that I'm pondering holiness, do you have a home-birthing model? What ultimate perfection, especially for someone who wants to avoid the complications that are bound to come up in a hospital, ie, breech birth, placental abruption, meconium aspiration, and who knows what other grotesque abnormalities could be caused by the handling of a well-meaning doctor!

I know I can count on you, dear man, to help me in my quest for holiness and conformity from the get-go for my future children.

I think a mommy model will put you on the map!

Moonflower---

Thank you for asking!!! I have received many requests just like yours for a mothering version of the OLearoreverend (R). Unfortunately, I cannot help with a robot that may "stand in" for you during a live birth, but I do have a "Mommy model" available for disciplining purposes. She is called quite aptly enough, the "OLearoMadre" (R) and is available now! She will do your disciplining FOR you, and has hands designed to fit perfectly over ANY child's wide open, screaming mouth:

OLearoMadre(R)--- $48,657.80 (available with head-covering if requested)

Wooden spoon for "whacking" (great for those in the 3-6 month age span)-- $67.50

Wooden Ruler (extra thick version--great for those 6 months up to 13 years old)-- $87.99

Baseball Bat (for use on those 13 years or older. Guraranteed not to splinter on impact) ---$123.50

Vinyl floor mat (completely resistant to children's tears--designed to last for years) ---- $155.00

I am in the process of perfecting the "nursing" model, which should be available later this year. Dear Friends, take advantage of this wonderful and blessed offer today!! Remember if you withhold the rod, you will spoil the child!!! Let the OLearoMadre(R) start with your children now--getting hit with a wooden spoon or ruler is the perfect method to not only teach your children discipline, but to keep them quiet so you can listen to the OLearoreverend's(R) high and lofty Biblical questions and discourse. Think of it friends-----an OLearoreverend(R) to do your believing FOR you, and an OLearoMadre(R) who can stand in FOR YOU to keep the children in line!! (OLearoreverend(R) pricing in post below). What could be more blessed than that!!!

Send check or money order to:

Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. Box 2222
Barstow, Ca., 92233

: Joe Sperling February 06, 2009, 11:00:01 PM

(lol everytime I read this)

My Dear Olearoreverend,
I'm in worshipful appreciation and true adoration for your genious and creative money-making schemes for the Lord,
Moonflower

You've had a rough morning. You've spent hours arguing with atheists, agnostics,
Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, and purveyors of "higher Biblical criticism" on the In-
ternet. It's time for a break. Your thirsty, and you need something that is going to energize
you, to revitalize you, to get your brain back into gear, so you can go back and face them
all over again. You reach for the best: O'Leary's Apologeticure Revitalizing Tonic.

Made from carefully picked organic fruit juices, and then carefully vulcanized (literally blessed by a Vulcan),
with absolutely no chemical additives, O'Leary's Apologeticure Revitalizing Tonic simply cannot be beat! Listen to some of these testimonies:

"I felt whipped. The Atheist I was arguing with had the better of me for sure. I was close to folding, but took a moment, and popped open a bottle of my O'Leary's Apologeticure Revitalizing Tonic, and within moments I was able to make arguments he simply could not defend. I had him accepting Christ faster than you can say "Capernaum". This stuff is amazing! Everyone needs to buy a bottle!! Thank you so much Reverend Burt!!"

--Jake Boswell, Norman, Oklahoma

"I have a hard time with Mormons. I simply do not know how to address them. I had gotten so close to giving up that I spilled coffee on my keyboard. Then I remembered the bottle of O'Leary's Apologeticure Revitalizing Tonic I had purchased. I took a swig, and soon, my fingers were blazing on the keys, and I had produced arguments so convincing that the Mormon said he was now a Presbyterian! Thanks Reverend Burt!"

--Blake Cosby, Porter, La.

Friends----you too can be just as effective in your apologetics! Get a bottle of O'Leary's Apologeticure Revitalizing Tonic today!!

16 OZ bottle---------$131.50
12 OZ bottle---------$87.50
+ shipping and handling.

Send money order (no checks) to:
Reverend Burt O'Leary
2222 Kingworth Rd.
Barstow, Ca., 92232

Dearest and most holy reverend Burt,

You have been gone for too long! It is good to see you back again!!

Forget the Mormons, JW's and atheists! Each day I hide out in my cubicle from my co-workers, 99% of whom are Christians. We see eye-to-eye on nothing and I consider myself lucky to have a 10-foot wall on one side of my cubicle to protect myself from the clandestine rendezvous of the maintenance constituency with the student-worker flame.

I have learned to refrain from making interesting sounds when certain people pass the front of my cubicle, and I no longer play the Twilight Zone theme song from a musical birthday card at opportune moments, but I could use some extra help, now.

We will be working a 4-day week for the summer and will be around each other for 10 hours each day!!!! Gasp!!!!

Do you maybe have a bubblebath-type of Revitalizing Tonic? Or at least, an intravenous solution for Christian responses?

Here's hoping I won't have to do full time in purgatory!

Falling on your everyword, as always, with true adoration,
Your faithful follower,
Moonflower

Dear Brother,

"Faithful is he who called you who will also do it." Thank God for the precious promises as we travel abroad on the highway of holiness. Our eyes our lifted upon the king in all His glory and our mind is set not on things below but those things that are above where Christ sits at the right hand of God.

I think you misunderstood that verse due to your lack of spiritual sensitivity and discernment. The horn is a type of Christ as expressed in the weekly announcements. It gives God's people a clarion call and marching orders for all who are following him out of the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light and life. Praise God. You see, my friends these are realities that we enjoy now, not somewhere someday beyond the blue, but now. Many people don�t know this and they settle for a same-tame ho-hum Christian life. But praise God we don�t get distracted with those who want to play church. We are on the kingdom road, my friend. We have heavenly stardust in our eyes.

The oil is the Holy Spirit that is released as we die to ourselves and let God do his crucifying work in our lives in order to release the precious flow of living water that comes from within. Thank God many years ago when I was a young Marine, God broke me and I daily know the inner sensitivity of God�s oil of life flowing in and through me. Thank God I am crucified with Christ and it is not I who live but Christ who lives in me. You see, lots of people don�t want to hear about the cross. They want to be anesthetized with sermonetts for Christianetts. But here, we have capacity! Thank God for this ministry. I always say that it will either straighten you up or send you out. That�s the truth, my friends. Praise God.

I hope as you receive my instruction born out for fifty years of meditation on my knees on an open Bible - getting up every morning at 4 AM to spend my first five hours in prayer with my precious savior opening the secrets of heaven - as my ministry has been preached on every continent in the world that it brings insight, encouragement, healing and heavenly vision.

On the Journey,

A Faithful Brother for Plain Readers
GG on the Heavenly Journey
Chapter Summary Bible Study Every Wednesday Night at the Happy Horsefeathers Rest Home 7 PM

Hello Dear Friends,

Reverend Burt O'Leary here. I am rejoicing today dear ones as I meditate
upon the return of the Lord Jesus to this earth. Hallelujah!! And we want
to be ready don't we friends?? He is coming very soon indeed, and preparation
is the key word to consider when contemplating the arrival of this blessed event.

As always I seek to be a blessing to the dear sheep of God, and I have an amazing
offer I want to share with you today!! As that day is approaching we should be in great
anticipation, and watching for Jesus with the greatest fervency! Therefore I have designed
some items I think you will want to have immediately! The first is the "O'LEARY
RAPTURE CHAIR". It is perfect for a rooftop---entirely foldable, and cushioned with
the softest of foam. The slogan on the back "I was at the Rapture and all I got was this
lousy chair" (this is a little joke for those who have been left behind) is written
in bright red, and embroidered in the most delicate and artistic manner. You are going to
love it!

Secondly I am offering the patented "O'LEARY RAPTURE SNACKS"--entirely designed for
one to snack on in outer space. Should the rapture come right before lunch you will be
prepared my friends! There are a variety of freeze-dried sandwiches available, along with
a mini-packet of TANG juice drink to wash them down with. We don't want to be caught
unprepared during the Rapture---I suggest you buy these now--they are going quick.

I also have the "OLEARY RAPTURE PARACHUTE"--specifically designed for those who might change their minds during the Rapture, or were taken by mistake due to some clerical error. You simply hand the parachute to the frantic person and they can descend back to earth unharmed, or use it yourself to descend if you find you are more earthly minded than you thought.

Lastly, I would like to offer the "OLEARY RAPTURE WALKIE-TALKIE". Imagine if you are raptured and then remember something very important, and need to reach one of those you know are still on earth? You will still be able to reach them dear friends---imagine that!!

Example:

You: (just hold "speak" button on O'leary walkie-talkie and speak): "Henrietta, is that you?"
Henrietta: (holding walkie-talkie left on earth): "Why yes it is, how are you?"
You: "Listen Henrietta, I've been raptured. Can you please take the turkey out of the oven, it will burn".
Henrietta: "Sure, will do. I guess we won't be seeing you for dinner".

It could come in quite useful dear friends! I would suggest you buy all the items friends. I am offering them separately, or in a fantastic combined deal (see below):

Rapture chair----$625.00
Rapture Snacks--$15.75/each
Rapture parachute---$1245.75
Rapture Walkie-Talkie---$729.00
All Items in one combined "package from Heaven for Heaven"----$2475.00

Thank you dear friends, and God bless you! I'll see you as we all meet the Lord in the
air! Let's be prepared to meet the Lord friends! Hallelujah!!

Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. box 2323
Barstow, Ca, 92233

No personal checks please.

Moonflower-----

The rapture of cats and dogs does not appear in scripture, but we also cannot rule out
the possibility of it occurring. A well known animal psychic, Dr. Anita Spaulding Whittmeyer,
who is able to communicate with animals, states that cats and dogs are definitely awaiting
such an event.

Dr Whittmeyer in her book "Feline Psychosis and Theological Belief" states the following:

"During a session with a rather high-strung calico cat named "Princess", the feline stated that she, and many other "believers" were awaiting the return of one "MORRIS THE CAT" from the heavens, who would "rapture" them to some catnip filled paradise, where they would claw at huge carpet covered towers, and 'ascend the heavenly draperies' for the 'ages to come'." (pg. 47)

Whittmeyer also states that canines are awaiting something called "milkbone rain" as a sign of the end when a Heavenly 'Great Dane' named "Curtis" will return for them also. Apparently milkbones will literally fall from the heavens in a great deluge shortly before 'Curtis' returns.

According to these canine believers, and stated with runny tears flowing from their eyes(especially the poodles and chihuahuas), Curtis will "remove all fleas from their fur, and Mail Men and rolled-up newspapers will exist no more". They also speak hopefully of a river "lined with 12 enormous fire hydrants of different colors".

However, neither of these stories can be confirmed Biblically. For a more detailed explanation of these animal beliefs (including the great parakeet rapture) write for a copy of my book "Animal Rapture? Truth or Fiction?". Simply enclose a money order or cashier's check for $38.75 + $11.00 for postage and handling, and mail to:

Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. Box 2222
Barstow, Ca., 92233

God bless you my dear friends!

Hello Dear Friends!

Reverend Burt O'Leary here. I have not posted for a while as I have been on a short vacation
visiting the incarcerated at a local prison. Due to fortunate circumstances I was able to both live
there for several months, and befriend several of the inmates during my stay there. It was quite a
restful and satisfying experience for me.

But friends, now that I am back, I want to make a fantastic offer to you concerning a book I wrote
during that magnificent rest period entitled "Little known headlines from Biblical Times". It contains
actual "clippings" from several news stories written during Biblical times. Let me give you an example. We all know this well known verse:

"And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.
And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger". (Luke 2: 15,16)

Of course, these verses appear after a group of the "heavenly host" had appeared to the shepherds announcing with joy the birth of the blessed Savior. But how many of us have considered what took place the next day? Well, amazingly enough, a newspaper clipping from that very day was recently unearthed in Bethlehem and reads as follows:

Bethlehem Bee Vol 7, #234

SHEPHERDS HEAR VOICES, LEAVE FLOCK;
HERD FOLLOWS AND WREAKS HAVOC

"Late last night several shepherds, claiming to have heard voices from the heavens,
abandoned their flocks and headed into Bethlehem. The shepherds, claiming they had been
told of some miracle in the city, hurriedly made their way there, unaware their abandoned flocks
were following them some yards behind.

The flocks, totaling some 2000 sheep, began to eat the vegetation in front of the homes, and to
leave their "droppings" wherever they went. After a short hour, the devastation incurred was tre-
mendous. "It was horrible!!" said Moishe son of Shiloh, "my garden was destroyed within minutes,
and it stunk to high heavens after they left" he added. Many residents were in tears, and angry beyond words at the shepherds, whom they considered to be drunk with wine due to their claim of seeing things, and "hearing voices".

It will take several days to clean up the mess, and to re-landscape the ruined yards, and the damage is estimated to be close to ten thousand shekels. It took hours to re-herd the flocks, but the shepherds finally returned to the fields with their flocks early this morning. As of yet no arrests have been made in the wake of this fiasco".

Dear Friends! Isn't it wondrous to consider? And there are many more "headlines" just like this that deal with Biblical events and their aftermath to those actually living at that time!! Don't miss out! Get a copy today:

LITTLE KNOWN HEADLINES FROM BIBLICAL TIMES
BY REVEREND BURT O'LEARY.

$99.99 + TAX. Allow 6 weeks for delivery. Send Money order (no personal checks please):

Reverend Burt O'Leary

2222 Knights Cross Lane

Barstow, Ca., 92233

Thank you dear friends! May the Lord richly bless you!

AssemblyBoard

General Discussion => General Mayhem => : Joe Sperling February 22, 2007, 02:00:24 AM