AssemblyBoard

Okay, along the lines of nit-picking, it's time for another light-hearted topic.

Let's hear some heart-felt confessions of things perhaps you did behind the brother's backs?

Okay, since I'm the only rebel amongst us, I'll start with an ice breaker ....

I at times would pretend to be 'working late' sometimes so I could miss dinner and have an hour free to myself before the meeting.

Anybody else ... ??????

Yeah. LOL. A concerned sister once asked me if I had mono because I was always "sick" on sunday afternoon.

lol
 :o :o :o :o
Pat Mathews! Now everyone will know!
 :o :o :o :o

Patti, I always suspected you were a rebel at heart!!  Not only does everyone know now, but they knew then and the ones who were there wished they weren't :)     Okay, I have a confession, there were times I ran off to the library to study for a test, but really didn't have one,  it was only to be with someone I was spending time with  :)  

It always has amazed me what a sickly bunch of people the "saints" were/are.  Although I would imagine that living with such abuse and unreasonable "standards" could make one ill......I suppose I could be numbered with those who sighed with relief to stay home with a sick child...
A side thread could be how many mom's sighed with relief when their child acted up in the Midwest Seminar so they had an excuse to get out and have some real fellowship in the hallway?

I have to confess that once or twice when my kids acted up in the meeting, I took them out to the car and drove around town (to calm them down, of course) and came back just before the closing prayer!

Also, Tom and I snuck McDonald's into our back bedroom and ate Happy Meals after a particularly healthy Pritikin dinner in the home.  (Tom and a brother had gotten into a serious discussion about whether or not his half of the food money should be spent on lunchmeat that wasn't turkey.)

Finally, and this is a doozy- our bedroom was right down the hall from the livingroom where the Saturday tape meeting was held.  One Saturday at 7:30am we decided we wanted to go out to breakfast as a family, but we couldn't get out of the house without being seen.  So, Tom opened up the big window in the bathroom, and all 5 of us crawled out onto the front lawn one by one.  Unfortunately, the neighbors saw us and remarked to the head steward about the strange site of a couple with three little girls being hoisted from the window to the front yard.  That night at dinner we were chastized, but Tom and I both shared a big laugh about it later.

TONI !!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU SINNER !!!!!  SNEAKING TO THE LIBRARY ?????!!!!!!

Okay, you want another one?  

When I was away at college, I used to write Toni several times a week (okay, every day) when I was only supposed to write her once.

<GASP!!!!>

Oh Susan by the way -- THAT IS A HILARIOUS STORY !!!!!  

Sneaking the tv out of the closet?

Show of hands.

Yeah, I thought so! ;D

Here's a better one. My dad was scheduled to give stated ministry one Sunday afternoon.

It was the shortest Sunday meeting in the history of the Assembly. We flew out the door and headed to my grandma's to watch a game. Can't remember if it was an Illini game or NFL playoff or what. He had been looking forward to it for a long time.

Fortunately, everyone thought it was funny and were relieved to have a shortened meeting. He's still hearing about that one!

All the brothers who went to K-Mart or Sears to go "TV" shopping" every week, raise their hands!  I know who you are!   haha

Oh, I've got another, not as good as Susan's.  I used to spend many weekends with my mom, so I could go out with friends I had who were not associated with the assy.  I also had friends that I worked with and sometimes we'd go get something to eat afterwards.   :o

I left 25 years ago at the age of 18 but still I remember faking quiet times on my knees at 6 am so that all the other girls sharing my room (and also on their knees) would not report me to the authorities.

Way back the mid seventies when I was an 'assy' -  playing volleyball for my highschool team, participating in choir, doing art work,  or anything else that would make you miss a meeting was  - gasp -  :o - an unspoken but overwhelming henious crime.

pat, beck, chris, nance and mike's sister,
ann

One thing that seemed a bit strange to me was how the children of the LBs in our assembly could miss Sunday to go to their choir performances and such. It would have been unthinkable for the peasants to do this unless they wanted to be 'encouraged.'

One evening my uncle gave me tickets to see the St Louis Blues and Chicago Black Hawks on prayer meeting night.
I took my 2 year old son and saw a 4-3 thriller. we won (hockey was my not secret passion) . We were sittng very close to the ice and during ther national anthem , the TV camera focused on us for a good 5 seconds. All my friends at work saw it and thought it was great. I knew I was busted but couldn't help laughing inside, knowing that if anone did see me it was because they stayed home to watch the game.     steve harris

Ken,

This is Vince G. Remember when (you might not)....

It was a Sunday meeting.  All of us were sitting down after a song or prayer.  I was in the front row of the meeting at Bel-Nor. I had the little 5oz. stryofoam cup empty and got a wild hair. So I placed it under Roger Hommes (or maybe Joe Babor's) metal chair. CRAACK!  I was so busted. And I thought I was the biggest sinner too. Then Rudy sat me down afterward to chide me. Boy did that make me serious. Anyway, it was a crack-up. VPG

Hey Vince -- yeah, I do remember that, quite clearly actually (by the way, why did you post this under my name????)

Another one that comes to mind -- when Roger and I lived at Rudys.  It was winter and there was snow on the ground, Roger was taking a show and Rudy was sleeping (bedroom right next to the bathroom) -- no one else was home.

I took a bucket, filled it with water from the outside hose and threw snow and ice in it.

Came into the bathroom, Roger saw it coming, I can still hear him say "Oh no you don't!!" and see his hand trying to stop it.

Well, needless to say, water everywhere, shower curtain knocked down, huge mess ... Rudy slept through the whole thing !!!!!!!

Ken, sorry I posted under your name inadvertently.  I was on as a guest and put in your name to respond to you.  Anyway, I am not a chiphead and I do apologize.

Now get back to more secret confessions- Garth, thou minister of evil and vitriole ofall sorts - I knowest thou hast dark secrets to confess- out with it thou skum of the earth. Come clean on this matter or I shall call on thee to read aloud and the "shame of it all"

Sometimes I would sing harmony to the hymn we were singing.  ;D
I wore slacks to the prayer meeting, too.  

Pat, I have also sang harmony with the songs.   ;D

Sometimes the song will be started really high, so I sing an octave lower!

There are more secret confessions to come, but you will have to buy my book to read them!

But I won't come out with it until I am three years from the age of fifty.  That way the title can be, Luke Robinson: Life as an AK-47  ;D

Ciao.

I have two confessions: First one, while living at the first sisters house in SLO, Suzi and I use to go see movies on Friday nights while everyone else was away going to Cal Poly Bible Study. We figured since we weren't part of Cal Poly we didn't need to go. We got caught and severly talked to. I remember one sister saying"If Christ came back and didn't find you with us (at bible study) you would get left behind". My response which did not go over well was"I think God would know where to find us".

Secondly, challenging the dress code on Sunday morning. I met with a friend in SLO and we were running errands. I told her I wanted to go to a shop and buy slut red nail polish and do my toes for Sunday worship. I wore a red dress with a slit to my knees (long dress), sandals with a 3 inch heels, and my little red toes showing! I was waiting for the response. I had hoped I would be asked to leave! I lived far away and could not possibly come back in time... The only response I got was "You are so tall, why do you wear heels, You are just like Judy..." I took it as a compliment and thanked her....

Vince, I remember that cup explosion vividly!  It got a tight seal against the seat and I couldn't believe how loud it was when it blew.  (It wasn't me who sat on it; I knew it was always good to be on the alert in your presence...)  

And I, like Toni Fuller, maintained numerous extra-assembly relationships, many with female friends...   :o  What a joke that I was having dinner and a movie with single females (some unsaved, even!) and then Sunday I was standing on the porch being reprimanded for giving a sister a lift home (TWO MILES!!) after the ANOP.  That was you, Toni Fuller!  You got me busted!  

One night I decided to take my family to see a movie that I had heard was really funny.   It had already "peaked" in the local theaters and was playing at a few cut rate movie houses.
We drove all the way down to Newport Beach to a place where it was playing.  When we went in a few minutes before the movie the lights were still on.

As we walked down the aisle, I suddenly saw a familiar face.  Then a whole bunch of familiar faces.  

THERE WERE ABOUT 6 COUPLES OF FULLERTON FOLKS OUT ON AN UNAUTHORIZED DATE.

What would George say?  What would betty say?  Thunder and doom no doubt.

However, I decided what I would say.   Nothing.
I never heard anything about it again.

Tom

I have a couple confessions  ;D
  A sister and I while living in a home were suppose to be at the library (thats what our schedules said) but at that point we were so burnt out that we went to the local pizza parlor and played video games.  We did this a couple times sometimes we would play air hockey.  OOOHHH ;) Once we even went to a movie.
  I never got rid of my TV and even though we didn't have it sitting out while living in the home.  We pulled it out once in a while.  Usually when the head steward wasn't around.
  Now for the worst...  ....  I never did do some of my consequences.  I didn't think I should have gotten them soooo...  I just crossed them out and put them in the done pile.  8) Never was questioned about them.  Now you know :P

Bernice you sinner!!!  :-*
Once I let my kids stay home from school and we all went to the matinee then out to dinner instead of going to the meeting. I even started going to visit my folks without telling an LB my itinerary  :o
The kicker was when last year I got a TV, VCR AND DVD player!! I was just waiting for someone to exhort me on that one! The LB's had computers with DVD-Roms so they could watch movies, so I had ammo!

Wow.  The more I think about this, the more come to mind:

First:  I remember being at a seminar weary and exausted.  It was probably the forth or fifth lecture and 1,000 verses into it.  George said "I know we're going over, but you want it, don't you?"  While the chorus of "Amens" filtered the room, I shook my head and said softly "nooooooo".  I looked up and saw a worker staring at me with an incredulous look upon her face.  "Oh, crumb!" I thought in my piety, "I'm busted."

Second:  I was once a doorkeeper charged, along with my comrads, with guarding the tent from hostile visitors who might want to break through our defence in order to hear the gospel.  I really got tired of the idea of strategically marching "suspect" visitors to the worst seat in the tent so they might remain under servalience and not disrupt the meeting.  To our shock and surprise, a visitor did actually show up to our well-guarded tent set hundreds of yards away from the parking lot - a bum.  When I sat him down I said, "ah, heck with these rules" and marched him to the 2nd row.  Turns out that during the gospel, he had a seizure and he had to be lifted out during the meeting.  He ended up being OK.  Yes, we heard about it at the doorkeepers briefing the next day, but I have to admit there was something gratifying about the whole affair.

Third:  In our brothers house, a consequence for, say, missing a speck on the refrigerator, was to type 10 recepe cards.  We got a bit creative (I wanted to put as a last step for chef salad to puree in blender, but I lost nerve).  Lee Irons, for instance, would write 1 t NaCL (Sodium Cloride) instead of salt.  One day, a joyful, standard-keeping-oriented brother was melting ice cubes in a pot.  We we asked him why.  He showed us that his recepe called for "2 cups thawed ice".   We left the room giggling.  I always wondered what he would do if he got the recepe that called for "2 cups condenced steam".

-Dave

My wife made out the menus and one brother who was very young in many ways, read "frozen corn" and served it up in a bowl hard as a rock!

THICK OATMEAL:
I LOVE QUAKER OATS THICK OATMEAL

I lived in a brothers house - 70's.  I made Saturday oatmeal.
Totally thick.  One brother kept putting more milk into it.
Well it absorped all the milk.  He'd eat a little and put more milk.  Absorped.  This went on and on.
Finally when he was about 1/2 down in the bowl, he said "I am sorry brother but I just can't finish this."

Is this scripitual?  Is this the bowl of oatmeal that kept refilling?  :)  :)

In a home I lived in WE as a house confronted a brother about a "shamefull" weekness.  He was required to repent in front of us all. We all stood around in great piety as this brother confessed openly his shame.  Afterwords we in our great humility and bowels of compassion condesended to this lowly sinner and  we all shook hands and said "We forgive you"  (Yet all the while inside I was just as guilty as this brother and I didn't say anything!!!! )

One Sunday morning while living at Tim and Ginger's, I purposely took a shower at approximately 8:30am (the time everyone in the house was leaving for the morning meeting).  When I got out of the shower, everyone had already left for the meeting. I had no car, and therefore had no way of getting to the meeting, so I stayed home and listenend to Christian music on the radio!  I called my friend Donna (a sister in fellowship) pick me up in time for the afternoon meeting.  To my surprise, Ginger and her oldest daughter Liz came home for the lunch break!!  So, I hid in my room the entire time they were downstairs!  When I saw Donna pull up at 2:15pm, I snuck out of the house!  No one ever knew about this!  I was a baaad girl, wasn't I? ;)

Stop it man!  This is bringing back bad memories.   :o :'(
j.k., I'll live  ;D

I think we've all said that we were sick when we weren't to skip a meeting.  Now I do it for my job.  As one Dilbert puts it, I have a bad case of "mahjabiscrappus".  So I guess for the assembly it was a bad case of "dismeteinsuxis".  

Actually, the way I understand it, Tim and Ginger's young chilcren had a reputation for being "sick" on Sunday afternoon yet well enough to go to Disneyland on Monday.

I don't say this to put them down.  Most parents aren't into unduly stressing out their kids even if they have to work around the system to protect them.  

I LOVE THIS THREAD !!!!

Okay, a couple of seminar confessions:

1)  Once my wife was due within weeks.  I went up by myself on Friday (fulfilling my obligation of at least beeing "seen" at the seminar).  I got a call the next morning she was having baby pains so I had to leave (at least some key brothers saw me so I felt like I had fulfilled my religous duty)
Now for the "secret confession" -- I WAS ELATED TO GET TO GO HOME !!!!!!!!!
I had a wonderful "holiday" weekend at home with my wife and 2 boys --- I was now corrupted with the worldy idea of actually ENJOYING some rest and ENJOYING my family.

2)  Once I stayed back from the sunday evening lecture (we would have 3 on sundays) and swam with my boys at the hotel pool.  We had so much fun, I really had no desire to be at the meeting so I did what I wanted !!!!
BUT ... I felt soooooooooooo guilty the whole time (I really did) -- like I "should" be at the meeting.

THANK GOD FOR DELIVERANCE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, side splitting, Oohhh  ;D

Menu cards - 2 cups of thawed ice !
                             - or -
                    2 cups of condensed steam !

                    Frozen corn - served frozen !

Tooo much .........

Hey, Bernice - maybe you got away with putting
your consequences in the done box because
they thought that you were :

    Can anybody say : BRAINWASHED ?   end caps lock  ;D

Of course the most faithful one was made head steward.
The most_faithful_saint_head_steward_trainer didn't check, eh ?  ::)

TEST

Oh yeah,
When I lived with Frances Sullivan (now Bransby), I used to pretend to be sick so that I could pull out my black-and-white tv set from the garage and watch movies! (SHHH-she may give me a consequence so keep it quiet!!) ;D

This section is a riot!!!

Remember the question and answer times.    You would write down a quesiton and stick in a box  to be read and answered by the leading brother moderation the session...Well my younger brother (always trying to find ways to entertain ourselves during the meetings) used to write down the dumbest possible question that we could think of, then attach the name of a saint to it without them knowing it.

Keep in mind that the questions put in the box were normally anonymous.  

It was always hysterical to see the leading brother say..."it looks like brother ______ has a question", followed by something along the lines of "during the time of dinosaurs, did caveman have a place to fellowship", then to look over at tthe saint we had attached the question to and look at the bewilderment on their face.

Also, did anyone else ever come down with the dreaded case of the flu on super bowl Sunday???  I think I had it 14 years in a row.

BRETHEREN BASEBALL!!!

  Section off the seeting area.

    Front row all the way back 8 rows and then to the left is mine.

      you get the other side.

  Now if a brother or sister gives out a hymn that is a single!

  If the same brother  or sister gives out a prayer that is a double!  if a new brother or sister gives out a prayer it is just a single.


    Now if the same brother who gave out a prayer and hynm gets up to give ministry that is a triple!!!!


     BUT if the leading brother say to that brother "Brother lets cut this short!"  Then the game is automaticly forfiet!!!


(This game is actually played in the Plymouth Bretheren assembly assemblies!)

At the seminars, I used to sit in the back row so that I could watch the saints going in and out of the room...George's lectures were pretty booooring!

I really did NOT like attending all night of prayers!  I would come up with any excuse possible to either show up for the meeting a couple of hours late or to leave a couple of hours early!

I don't think anyone really "liked" being up all night but for a long time I saw a value in them.  I believed at the time God would honor sacrificial prayer.

However, towards the end when my heart was dieing under that ministry, there was one night where I just couldn't bring myself to go.  So I continued on to the Brea mall and watched the movie Pretty Women.  The sad truth is that at that time and under the circumstances, I probably made the more edifying choice.  I could tell the next day that some sisters in my home were curious where I was but none actually asked.

-Dave

I must have missed this thread in the past!  That's hilarious!  "during the times of dinosaurs, did cavemen have a place to fellowship?"    Dave---Going to see "Pretty Woman" probably was a better choice (as long as you offered up some prayers during the viewing) ;D