- Should I go public?

Freebird

I think you should definitely go public. I mean, that's who you are right? Do not be ashamed of the Gospel! Going public will mark you, and the Geftakysites(Thanks John J. Malone for this one, "They were first called Geftakysites in Omaha.") may excommunicate you, without your knowledge of course. That is what they did to me.

However, it didn't limit me at all. This website is just one example.

I think going public is what Jesus, Paul, Peter, and all the rest did.

Now, some came to Jesus by night at first. But if memory serves me right, they went "public" later.

So, think about it, and walk in the light. The more people that do, the faster the system will come down. And come down it will, as long as wel don't play the old Assembly game of "Don't talk."

Have you read "The Code of Silence" on the main webpage?

The link is something like "What is the dynamic that allows for abuse.." it's in the article section.

So, yes, I think you are still affected by the thinking you learned in the old place. However, you are still welcome here as Freebird....that is if you don't leave here tomorrow...things just wouldn't be the same....so if you must be travelling on now....cause this bird cannot chaiaiainge....
(slide guitar)....

Brent

I have been sitting here (after getting home from church-what were all you heretics doing posting this morning???? ;D) laughing until I had tears running down my face.

We most definately have to deal with all of this with great humor (or we would go crazy.) To think that these were our dear, dear friends and this is the way we are treated, simply for obeying our Lord!

Greg and I were commenting this morning as we were getting ready to leave for church (by the way, we were up at 4:00 am full of the joy of the Lord, just couldn't stop talking with one another about all the wonderful things the Lord is doing) how different getting ready for church is now. We are full of the joy of the Lord, we were laughing, just cracking up this morning! ;D That's why our posts were along the hilarious line. ;) When he gets home, he will do a before and after post about this phenomena. Our children are benefitting from the transformation. No longer are we yelling at them and sternly telling them how they will behave in the meeting and we do not want to have to correct their behavior. >:( This morning we were singing with our children, making up funny songs, just rejoicing at the wonderful expecation of going to the worldly church this morning.

In contrast, what were The Big Potatoe and his entourage doing this morning? I surmise it was last minute preparations for damage control. I can tell you there was no joy! They are nervous and worried about how they are going to contain all the questions and begin their character assassinations.

Freebird - If you are completely set free, what does it matter what anyone else thinks? Weren't we taught in the Assembly not to walk before men? What has been the most liberating since leaving is that I can speak my mind as a sister in Christ now, without fear that someone will think me too bold or in sin, simply because I am a sister sharing my mind. I would suspect, actually, that this "boldness to speak my mind" will be one character assassination that is used by the Big Potatoe. You know they can't have a woman telling them what to do or not to do. That is blasphemy, heresy, downright sinful! :o

More later,

Much love in His service

KimBERLEY

The reactions some of us received after leaving validated the doubts we may have been harboring about making such a major decision, especially for those of us who were in it for a long period of time. Being told you have no vision (withouth knowing reasons for leaving or what you're doing), given a list of reasons why you left (without asking), being told you'll never hear the word preached like you do here,and you must find another place that doesn't have paid pastors, etc. etc. are the kind of things that make you believe you did the right thing. These are some of the things I experienced first hand, and saw and heard much worse, I'm sorry to say.

Of course "going public" opens up the fear that more of these calls and visits will come as a result of doing so. You can bet this place is being reviewed by a great many people in, out, and on the fence.

What a great way to spend our afternoon, chuckling, no laughing hysterically at the computer as we read everyones' comic replies. I didn't realize we had such humerous individuals in the Assembly. Or perhaps, our humor was suppressed (like everything else was forced to be) and it is now just surfacing as we have liberty to allow our personalities to surface (This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine all the time, all the time....) Anyone who has heard GG preach for any length of time (and stayed awake) knows he hates that song!

Not only are we laughing at reading others' replies, we can't stop laughing as we are penning our tomes on the keyboard!

I haven't had this much fun since my pre-salvation days (and that with a little extra help-if you know what I mean!) And no, I am completely sober sitting here at my computer! ;D No potatoe water for me.

Hi Freebird & Others,

<<Then I think of possible negatives...maybe someone will be mad at me and never give me a chance (of course that would be their loss ), maybe I will make enemies. >>

As far as the assembly is concerned, you're probably already an enemy, a reprobate, and apostate. You have little to lose unless you're speaking to a current hyper-sensitive assembly member. I say go for it :) unless there's something I don't know.

Lord bless,

Eric

This is what I would consider before going public if you have a family.
I would consider my family. How will it affect them. For instance, do your children attend school with other assembly children, could there be persecution there, and is your child/children willing to put up with it. Also spouses, are they ready for any persecution as well. Now, probably nothing will happen, but it is better to know if they are prepared and willing if it does.

In my case, the reason why I haven't become public yet, is due to relatives in my family, and the possibility of never getting to see or talk with my nieces and nephews. I don't care what the adults think, but I worry about the children and the affects the assembly has on them.

Regarding persecution and children, etc.

In my opinion, as one who has gone public to some degree, I must disagree with guest's post.

The children will not know anything, except, "not to play with Johnny because his parents are not walking with the Lord." What this means is that Johnny can't go over to the saints's house, but at school they will remain friends. Also, the saints kids will grow up and wonder what all the fuss was about. Especially when their good friend Johnny is so happy, and has such freedom in Christ. Assembly kids need to learn how to make friends anyways, the sooner the better. Eventually, when the Assembly kids need to rebel, maybe your kids will be a help to them, perhaps invite them to a "worldly church."

Now, if the goal is to have Detente with the Geftakysites, then by all means keep things quiet and secret. They will despise you and speak evil of you when you are not there to defend yourself, and everyone will believe it, because they haven't heard you deny it, have they? However, you will have peace, just no contact.

On the other hand, if you go public and state the truth loudly and clearly, they will only talk about you in leading brothers meetings. Others will come to you with questions. You will be a help, instead of a rube.

How can I be so sure about this? Easy, it it what I am doing. I am only telling you what happened to me, and to others who said something. My kids have MORE friends now, by a factor of 5, than when we were following the Code of Silence.

Of course, maybe it is better just to keep quiet and let God do the job....

NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!

He has told us to have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness. He has also told us not to share in other's sins.

I don't know of any passages that say to keep quiet, does anyone else? (I'm serious is there a biblical case for keeping silent in a situation like this?)

Brent

HELLO:
A short Bible quiz: See below.
It has already been discussed that one is discredited when they leave the assembly, especially when they aren't quiet about it. Past sins or faults that may have been confessed in private may be brought up again to use against you. At the least small things about you may be exaggerated for greater effect. Bald-faced lies might even be told. So what?
We aren't necessarily free just by our non-attendance. Is our Christianity supposed to chill out when we aren't under the assembly's watchful smothering "care?" It can cost you to speak out against evil. See the Old Testament, NT, and the rest of history-sacred and secular- up till now and beyond until "time shall be no more" for examples. There are people who are suffering and dying right now in the Sudan and other places because they won't renounce their faith.THAT IS PERSECUTION. Standing up against the assembly may cause some inconvenience. Others have lost their jobs and God will reward them for their stand. I personally don't think your conscience will let you escape until you "go public"(where you are, not necc. on this site). Pardon me for saying this but silence may indicate that the "freebird" moniker was chosen a little prematurely.

Who else(besides George and some of the leading brothers) likes to try to bring up past sins- confessed and forgiven- to use as a weapon against someone who wants to walk in the truth?

Hi Everyone,

John, I appreciate your posts and articles. I have noticed a difference between those who left awhile ago and those who left recently, such as myself. Those who left a while ago tend to be more contemplative in their responses. I suppose you could call it a maturity. Those who left recently are still stuggling with all sorts of teaching. Sometimes the only way I can express myself is through humor or poking fun at what/who I used to believe. My only other recourse is to stuff it in and go insane. ;D

So maybe what we're doing is not the best or maybe it is, but it's where we are right now.

Lord bless you,

Eric

Thank you John!

I could not agree more. You do add a very important presence to this forum, and I am glad that the Lord crossed our paths.

I know I speak for at least several others when I say that we value your input. Also, thank you making yourself available.

I hope that people will call or mail you, because I know they will benefit.

So, let's go on record here. This website is NOT about drawing away disciples after a person or church. It is about helping fellow believers (most ex assembly people are believers, some are not) who have been suffering under an evil system, masquerading as a "New Testament Gathering."

Do we care where you end up after leaving the Assembly? Yes, we do, and we pray that you will find true pasture and rest in the grace of God. Where that may be is up to each of you. However, I recommend that you listen, think, read, and pray before "comitting" to any church. Take some time to heal, and learn the truth as it is in Jesus.

One thing we can all agree on is that you need to get OUT of the Geftakys group. God is not blessing that place, and may not even be present at all.

Editor

Hi Eric

Please feel free to do exactly what you are doing. Impulsive posts are no less real or valuable than 2 hour contemplative posts, and the fact is, you have more time to spend with your wife and kids if you do the quick posts. (Suzie appreciates my time more than posts)

This is a safe place, and no one should be made to feel immature, self-concsious or anything else. Even though this is cyber-space and is only a virtual community, I really pray that Grace may be present.

If we post a brick, there is Grace for that. If we are all at different stages, having a different emotional response because we just got fired, etc. that's OK!

Like Kimberly said, this is therapy.

I am willing to listen to anything someone has to say if it helps them sort things out, and I am most confident that the vast majority of people on this site feel the same way.

If this BB gets a rigid culture, then I will ask to see it shut down. I want freedom here.

Well, this was a late night, impulsive post if I ever saw one.

Brent

Remember this?
You are sitting in the evening meeting of a seminar. GG has been blathering for an hour and a half, its already past time to go home...and then he says, "I'm not quite finished, I need another 15 minutes, (which you know will be at least a half hour), you want me to give you all this don't you?"
Every fiber of your being wants to scream, "NNOOOOOOO, PLEASE GOD NOOOOOO! " And then all the single brothers in the first two rows start nodding their heads and saying, "Amen, Praise the Lord!" Then you must stifle a groan that is trying to escape from the depths of your psyche. And you endure it some more, until finally that wonderful, precious, savory moment arrives...and you are FREE...at least until pre-prayer tomorrow morning.

as someone who was raised in the Group, as i call it, who has left and stayed relatively stable, i wanted to weigh in on this topic.

one of my fascinations in life has always been psychology. my study of psychology has deepened my appreciation of how differently we all work on the inside, and this includes what we each go through as we leave the group. we all have very different needs as we are adjusting to life on the outside. and you know what - that is absolutely ok! what i needed, due to my particular personality, was a lot of time alone to sort through everything. i would not have jumped into a forum like this (it is still not my natural inclination, not because y'all are not great people ;), but just because i am not a very social person), and i was certainly not ready for confrontation and conflicts with the people still in the group, especially the leaders. what i did need (badly!) was to establish an identity completely separate from the group. i needed to accomplish things and decide things completely on my own. i am bolding that because that is a critical step in recovering. find trusted friends who do not want to control you. think carefully about what to do. trust yourself. if you still have faith, pray about what to do, and wait on God. when you are ready to go public, you'll know.

be sincere. and don't let guilt or fear control you. there is no reason to feel afraid.

cultivate new skills. develop yourself. grow. have fun. explore the huge and fascinating planet you live on. experience something completely new on a regular basis. rest. heal. reconnect with your family. there is no longer anyone who can keep you from doing these things!

Freebird,

I am glad you decided to speak up. I know for some they need time before they are ready to go public. We can all only handle so much pain at a time. Sometimes the pain of leaving the assembly is all we can handle. Going public can cause further rejection from the few former close friends still willing to talk to us. However, going public has some good side effects. There is less harrassment because no one is anylonger trying to prevent you from going public. When you tell your story others can see it and comparing our stories helps us see that we were not alone and that the way we were treated was not just because of our personal problems but because of the problems in the assembly. The process of telling your story is theraputic. I found when I wrote it down all of the excuses I had heard for years seemed rediculous. Writing it helped me logicly think about the events and helped free me the assembly lies and confussion.

I think going public is an integral step to recovering from the assembly. The assembly teaches us to hide the truth when it may not fit the idealised image they want. Telling the truth frees us from that.

Greetings to all the Publicans ;)!
I agree with Rachel that everyone is different and will need to find their own pace re. how to handle going public.
When I first left I did not have the luxury of this wonderful bulletin board, which I know is expediting healing and growth in those who are reading and posting here. What I did have were some that had left before me and they were able to give me some great literature to help me in my recovery. I also found a couple of web sites that had BB's that talked about cults and found that their experiences were very similar to mine. I just read for a long time (lurker) but finally was drawn out into posting (public) due to my concern for those, who in rejecting their cult rejected God. They saw God as being synonomous with the group. It was great discussing grace and healing, as just thinking about what to say was a great blessing.
One BB was called, "Wounded Pilgrims" and through thinking about that title and what it meant I saw that all these broken lives were very near and dear to our Lord's heart (could these be the little one's whom our Lord talked about not offending?). Jesus was terribly wounded by the religious abusers of his time and in that we share in part. Jesus was also very strong in his condemnation of same (MT.23).
It was love that made God "go public" by the incarnation; that made Jesus tell the truth; and that caused him to be rejected and wounded; and that finally led him to the cross. I think as the wonderful healing grace of God reaches our hearts we are obliged to leave our shells and try to reach out and help those we see who are struggling.
God Bless, Mark

Hello re-publicans!

I think you guys got it just right about going "public." The real question is HOW to go public, and when. I don't think fear has any place at all, but it will take some time before we can deal with our fear. The Lord knows!

Not everyone needs to put stuff on the Internet, but the one thing I think we all need to do, and I am not open to another opinion on this one, is to APOLGIZE to people we may have wronged, rejected, shunned or hurt in some way while we were still Lodge Adherents. (John Malone, you may be our first OVERCOMER for that one...)

I think this is what our Lord requires, and the apology and subsequent righting of wrongs is just the type of public disclosure that wins others out of the "goofy sychophantic" Lodge member's meetings. (yet another Malonism. If he keeps it up he is going to rival Mark C. as my favorite poster.)

Confession and repentance requires far more courage than putting our name on a bulletin board or a letter. So, that is the extent that we must go public, the rest is a matter of conscience, and will vary among individuals. It seems that we have a very good mix here, which when added together is a pretty compelling reason to follow the Lord out of the Lodge.

Brent

Hi All,
John is my favorite poster as well Brent, but he has caused my side to ache with laughter and I will have to come see you for some adjustments (Malonisms indeed! ;D).
Sindy (my wife) and I were talking about the past wrongs committed against us in the Assembly the other day and I was wondering re. those I may have wronged in my job as "heap big leading Bro." in the Valley. My personality was much more passive and as such I can't remember any overt tongue lashings that I issued toward God's little one's. However I bear a great responsibility for sitting by and quietly "trusting the Lord" that he would deal with "the Leadership".
There may be some present Member of the Assembly who believes that they are not part of the abuse, but remain there to be a "balance" to the aggressive abuser in the midst. This "balancer" is an enabler and shares in part with the crime of the abuser. I don't think that any rational person can deny, after reading Rachel's story, that the Assembly is not abusive in nature and that those in charge are clearly evil. However, there may be some still inside who think that it is their job to stay there and "trust the Lord' to deal with the problem. If you stay you will, like I did for almost 20 years, support the abuse and not help the abused. You can stay there and try to encourage the down trodden with messages of grace in an attempt to "balance" but your message will be drowned out by the loud drone of GG's teaching and Assembly practice. God Bless, Mark

BTW, his name is Kyle! And we couldn't be happier. He is the nicest christian boy! We met him separately from Brittni (he is in our Adult bible study at church!) After we met him, both my husband and I commented on his involvement in the bible study. He was talking and interacting with the rest of the class. Upon leaving our bible study, I said to my husband, "Now that is a very nice young man." My husband resoundingly concurred.

Weeks later, without our manipulations (directly-we put in a good word for him) they are dating! Finally, Brittni is having a normal teenage life, instead of what the Assembly foists on young teenagers. Due to the oppressive control, the teens will sneak out of the house behind their parents backs. Often, choosing the wrong kind of guy >:(, because the right kind of guy :D wouldn't want her sneaking out behind her parents backs! ::)

After I read Kimberley's post, I just had to respond.

DUH ;)

Contrary to assembly premise that children are born manipulative cunningly evil creatures who will be bad unless forced otherwise, most assembly kids don't want to go out and sleep with everyone of the opposite sex that they come in contact with. (a little exageration for effect ;)). Most of the assembly kids just want to grow and develop in a normal and healthy manner. They want to interact with others their age regardless of sex. And they need to learn how to have relationships with members of the opposite sex gradually rather then having nearly no serious contact with the opposite sex until they are engaged. Actually a lot of the problems they have with the teens in the assembly is the result of to much control and not allowing them to develop normally. It reminds me of Chinese foot binding. It looks "good" on the outside but underneath the covering real damage is being done by the controling bindings.

I am so happy for Brittni. Life is a wonderful thing. Freedom is neccessary and there is joy.

YEAH!!!!

Hi Greg,
Yes, I am up early as it is the nature of my business.
I love your post's and I love the joy you have found in the liberty that there is in Christ.
I'm afraid I missed the Selfers prayer somehow :).
I most certainly forgive you Greg for tearing up my great manuscript since I forced you to read it again for punishment. That was produced, BTW, on a regular typewriter as it was before I had a computer.
I hope you understand the point I was trying to make re. my culpability in my Assembly past as an Enabler. I would say most of the "Saints" are nice people who wouldn't harm a fly, but to go along with the system is to support the abusive leader. "All it takes for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing", to use a famous quote.
There so much going on with this BB it's impossible to keep up with all of it ;D!
God Bless, Mark

Regarding Dating,

Once in my final years in the Assembly I was reading a story by T.H. White, the author that wrote "The Sword in the Stone". The story I was reading was a satire about totalitarian societies. These ants were going into the ant hole, and above the entrance were engraved the words, "Everything Not Prohibited Is Mandatory". After I had laughed a while, it dawned on me that in Restorationist's minds, the church building has a similar motto, "Everything Not Specifically Taught Is Prohibited", (unless the Big Mahoot thinks it would be useful).
The whole no dating, no music, no chewing gum, no whatever flows out of this.
The problem is that real life intrudes. So congregations cannot call pastors but rely on the giftedness of the local brothers, (unless we move some of OUR local brothers there to keep an eye on you Bozos and make sure you do what we want done).
We do not believe in paid pastors, they are just hirelings! (unless we decide to pay one of our superloyalheroes under the table so he doesn't have to work and can have time to be an example to the sheep).
We do not have a sunday program but rather rely on the Presidency of the Holy Spirit! (however the HS seems to follow the same routines with the same songs, prayers, preachers etc., every single sunday year after year).
And so on, and on and on and on.
Oscar ;)

AH, the question, "Should I go public?"

Well apparantly, someone has decided this for about half of our viewers.

Our stats were climbing to a feverish pitch until thursday 12/11, in the early AM. At that point, a substantial portion of "guest" traffic dropped of, while member traffic is still going strong.

It would appear that an edict has been issued, from God's government, that no one is to view this website. :-X or I'll >:(

It's good to know that nothing has changed in the lodge.
However, I still want to make the invitation for all Assembly members to join us in discussion. Tell us how we are wrong, and in what way we need to repent. Explain to us how it is that George, David and the others are the "good guys," and those who speak up about their behaviour are divisive, etc. Really, we need to know.

editor

After reading Rachels story I feel that I should apologize for being a member of this group and not doing anything. Rachel I ran into Kieth and Gay at the bookstore wherein I confronted them about Davids abuse. I ask outright, "Is it O.K. to beat your wife?" At this they would not respond I asked again, "Is it O.K. to beat your wife?" Again no response Finally I had to answer the question for them "No" "It is NOT O.K.!" It amazez me how ignorant they choose to be. If they had responded 'no it is not." Then they would have to admit that David was in sin. Whats wrong with these people?

Hello All,
This has been quite a week! I've been considering my involvement in the lodge for awhile. When I came upon this website, my concerns were clarified. When I read about the longstanding abuse, the shameful cover up, I couldn't tolerate this behaviour any longer.
I married a wonderful man in the lodge but he wasn't at the same point of understanding. I knew that the Lord has always taken care of me. I knew my husband would 'come tp the light.' I didn't need to nag etc.
I also wanted to avoid the 'Eve syndrome.' The married sister gets blamed for her husband leaving the Lodge, for problems with their children blah blah. You know...Eve was deceived....somehow what Adam did is forgotton!
Anyway, this week, we officically left the Lodge. What a relief!
We left openly, clearly stating our concerns w/o bitterness and grudges.
I am praying for others who remain.
The lines from a hymn are rolling through my brain:
'my chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose went forth and followed Thee.'
I appreciate this web site and the support it has given me to leave the grip of the Lodge. Also for the open forum of communication.
This is a great way to enter the New year.

Happy New Year Teresa and Bob! :)
How did you find out about this site?
The hymn you quote is very apropriate.
Going public is important as it allows us to define our experience instead of allowing the abusive group to define and spin our experiences. As you mentioned, they will just spin your leaving into a version of, "we always knew they had problems."
The Assembly folks take great pride in asking those who have left, "are you walking with the Lord?" Our answer should be, "Yes, how about you?!" One aspect of being in "fellowship" has to do with honesty in our lives with God and this is something the Assembly has fallen short of.
God bless you both and thank you for your contribution here. This site is a blessing because of people like you who take the time to contribute by posting. :) Mark

Hi Bob & Teresa,

It's great you left the way you did. Even though the LB's will twist what you said and forbid others to have anything to do with you, you'll find brethren calling you every now and then.

I believe the openness toward "leadership" allows certain ones (including hard core assemblyites) to find out the truth. I just received another call this week from someone I did not expect to hear from. They want my testimony on why I left. Anyway my point is, leaving openly, leaves a door open to talk to assembly members. ;)

The Lord bless you,

Eric

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General Discussion => Any and All Topics => : freebird December 08, 2002, 10:22:56 PM