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I am starting this thread as I write from a computer
here at Camarillo State Mental Hospital in Southern
California. It is taking quite a bit of time to type this out
as i am forced to type on the keys using a pencil extending
from my mouth.

But as soon as the doctor's release me from this jacket
I have on, I should be able to type more freely. As i gaze
at the padded pink wall in front of me, and feel it's calming
effect, I am reminded that my favorite color is blue.

I had myself admitted to the hospital last night after reading several of my own posts on this BB. I showed one
of the doctor's a couple of my posts and he said "What are
you doing? Are you crazy?" That's when they put the jacket
on me. were supposed to have lunch soon--then they will
take the jacket off for a while. I hope we have something good to eat.

After lunch, my nurse, Betty is going to administer a coffee
enema. When she mentioned this, my doctor, George,
kept saying "Isn't that Grand? Isn't that wonderful??" Then
his son came in and said "May the Lord richly bless you".
Everything sounded so familiar, but I couldn't quite place it--the drugs they are giving me seem to distort things a lot.

George mentioned that he thought I had weak arms, so he will have me flipping back and forth looking for Bible verses and this should strenghten them. he is preparing for a marathon in Bible verse flipping. He called it a "Seminar"--
I sure hope I'm in shape by then. george and Betty have helped me alot. I felt bad when George asked for a foot massage, but my hands are tied behind my back in this jacket, so I couldn't accomodate him.

He also suggested I scream into a pillow at 4:00 A.M. to
help me regain some sanity, but i don't think my roomate "Napolean" would appreciate that. I think of my Brother Al--after the recent set of E-mails and posts I have
made to him I'm surprised he isn't here in this room with me
by now.

Well, I've got to go now---they have some inkspots they
want me to take a look at.

By the way, what's your favorite color?

--Joe

Dear Mr. Sperling,

This is your doctor speaking.  Now how did you get out of your padded cell?  What you are experiencing is Crazypostitis, a regular strange mental disease that has affected some individuals on this forum.  Don't worry.  You'll snap out of it.  But for right now, let's get you going on the enema, shall we?

Dr. Al

     "You're insane!"

     "Yeah!--  Ain't it cool!"
          --from Broken Arrow

Joe,

     Well, bro, your situation just goes to prove that you can't judge a saint by his jacket!

     Sorry to hear about your coffee enemas-- guess you just sorta backed into that...

     You're lucky you get to use a pencil-- on my ward they only let us have crayons.

     By the way, watch out for a guy who's going around in a Dr's coat, claiming to be me.  It's really Luke, trying to rack up attitude points!

     Pleasant dreams!
al

P.S.-- The stuff they're dripping into my IV has me hearing colors, rather than seeing them...

You too, Mr. Hartman?

Ok, let's look at your charts.  Ok...well...it says here...that your Crazypostitis has died down a little since last week.  
But now that you have escaped and have come into contact with a computer and this website, we will have to put you on a heavier dose of the lax.  Don't worry, it cleans your system as you sleep!  Now, there are some nice men in nice white coats that are going to come and bring you back to your cell.  Do not retaliate or we might have to give you the coat.  

You also missed the conversation today.  The group was discussing why you get a special selection of soup, and they didn't.  Well, as a conclusion, you don't get any more primordial soup, but you must go with Mr. Sperling to room 209 so Nurse Betty may administer the enema.  Go quietly and maybe you can have some pudding.

Dr. Al Knogtrowskinfarbarshkinmoghowk

Dr. Knogtrowskinfarbarshkinmoghowk,

     Are you any relation to Princess Summerfallwinterspring?

     The coffee enema was a real eye-opener, but the electro-therapy was shocking.

     Are you sure you aren't pudding me on?

Dear Mr. Hartman,

You can call me Dr. Knog, pronounced "nong".
The replies were nice, but we must still keep you on the treatment.  I see that you like the enemas.  Dr. Knog thinks highly of them.  I think if we continue at this rate of progress, you might be out in approximately 27 years, 4 months, two weeks, three days, seven hours, 57 minutes, and 14 seconds.  We prefer to be precise here at the Mental Hospital.  Keep up the good work.

FOR SALE:

2 head coverings, barely used---make great doilies for
the table.  14.95/ea.

All night of prayer pillows: knelt on many times, slept upon
only 4 times.  18.95/ea

Geftakys booklets--reprints from seminars. Original condemnation tear stains still visible.   20.95/ea.

Geftakys seminar tapes!!!  Can be used in two ways: for
a great upper arm workout simply flip to each verse that is mentioned and you will get rid of the flab fast!!! Or simply start the tape when you lay down to sleep and you are sure to doze off quickly!! No more need to count sheep or take sleeping pills.  A real bargain!!!   49.95/set.

Coffee enema bag and hose: used only twice--a real bargain!!!!   119.95/ea--free Folgers coffee with purchase!!

For other Assembly collectibles and oddities please call
(665(882-3018 and ask for Louie.