AssemblyBoard

In the assemblies, many of us were coerced into working to exhaustion to support the "ministry."  And I know many who had their health seriously damaged or ruined by the schedules we used to keep.  I have another question, therefore:

What effect has your leaving the assemblies had on your health?  What steps have you had to take to regain your health?  How has your schedule changed since you left?

mithrandir

One thing I'm learning to do is to say "No, I'm sorry, I cannot do that."  It was very refreshing, the first time I said it at my new church, and the other person just said, "Oh, OK."  There was not pressure to do it anyway.

What's different.  Let's see:  I usually only go to church in the morning on Sunday.  Sometimes there is something in the afternoon or evening, but not usually.  I have more "free" evenings.  I actually do hobby things sometimes, and despite what T.G. says, it is a good thing.

I still have some committments.  I have to coordinate with the Deaf person who comes if I'm going to miss.  But, I just planned a vacation without talking to the LBs first.

I do have a lot less headaches now, too complicated to explain here, but basically I was doing way too much for my brain to handle.

Dave

Clarence-

One of these days, I'd like to sit down and tell my story of my time living with the Zach's in Fullerton (for one month until I moved into the Geftakys').  What a nightmare that was...the emphasis?  "What happens when a relatively healthy young woman is put in charge of 6 kids and a large house".

My health has improved dramatically...I don't get meetingitis at all anymore!  Sadly, my son still has serious complications from the case of "canneverpossiblyliveuptotheimpossiblestandardsowhyeventry" that he contracted while in the assembly.  It has caused him to be very leary of anything to do with God and with authority figures in general.  My husband (of one year, two weeks from today!) has been appreciative of some of the things I learned in assembly-like the fact that I had chosen to be celebate...even after leaving the assembly, until marriage, but he saw red flags all over the place almost everytime the assembly came up.  I was a huge defender of the "ministry" and couldn't really put my finger on why I had taken my son and left after 5 years.  The GA website and this BB have been like therapy for me.  This is the first time I've actually posted but I've been reading and working through issues and healing along with, I suspect, many other "lurkers".  We keep praying for my son and are actually going to a counselor!  Interesting sidebar...my husband and his kids mom divorced about 12 years ago.  He has worked very hard to maintain an amazing relationship with the kids.  All 4 of them, ages 11-21, love Jesus, love being involved in church and youth group and never get meetingitis.  They invite their friends to "church stuff" all the time and they actually come!  They have reached out to my son in a loving, winning way and while I think it may be a long road to recovery for him, I know God has seeds planted in his heart and someday he'll see the Jesus they know-the same Jesus so many of us from the assembly are finally getting to know!  The God of grace, the Great Physician, the One who makes us whole.
Janet  

At first, I wondered how being away from the assembly would keep you from having inflamation of the lining around the brain and spinal cord.  :P

It used to be, that on Saturdays, I would get this feeling of a dark cloud coming over me, knowing that the next day would be "all day for the Lord".  I remember, at times, actually hoping I would get sick.

Now, I actually look forward to going to church.  It is quite refreshing, really.

I don't know how old your son is but I would get him some of Max Lucado's literature for kids...
If he would let you, I would even read them to him!  :)
Verne

Thanks Verne...
My son is 17 now...unfortunately past the point of letting me read to him.  I am still open to any specific suggestions and welcome all prayers!
Janet

It is often true that the context of a child's religious experience with their parent makes it difficult for the parent to influence the child in spiritual matters. Many young adults who grew up in the assemblies have an understandable ambivalence vis a vis the judgment of their parents on spiritual issues. This is unfortunate as many of these parents are much the wiser because of the experince. One possible way to pray for your seventeen year old is that God would bring into his life someone, perhaps and older brother in Christ who would have a better chance to model and teach those qualities that makes Christ so precious to us. God bless you and yours Janet.
Verne

Yep,

That 'can-never-possibly-live-up-to-the-impossible-standard-so-why-even-try' virus was pretty common in SLO.  I had it all year round.  I'm still dealing with the feelings of guilt for not trying to meet some kind of standard (like meetings, Bible study, etc).  I know this will pass and I will be able to do these things with increased capacity.

Jack

Jack---

Where were you Monday? We missed you at the meeting....you weren't watching football or something worldly like that were you?  You know commitment is important. What's really important to you Jack? Look.... other churches may meet on Sunday and Wednesday, but were not about that here. You need to set your priorities my friend.....

 :D

Joe,

I was playing hooky so I wouldn't have to go to the meeting (just like I did when I was a kid).  Only now instead of watching cartoons I watch 'Everybody Loves Raymond' on Monday evenings.

We taught that we should not have 'spritual' parts of our lives and then 'secular' parts of our lives.  So far, so good.  But, while others made a distinction between the 'spiritual' and the 'secular', we just used different terms - 'the work' and 'worldliness'.  Any activity that did not benefit the ministry (outreach, meetings, anchor groups, etc) was considered worldly or at best a necessary evil to be quickly handled so we could get back to what was really important - THE MINISTRY.  This was nothing more than a repackaged form of aestheticism.

Jack

I'm just curious---I was in the Assembly a long time ago---circa 1974-1980.  When I first began attending,
the worship had moments of sitting and standing. A couple of years before I left, we stood through the whole worship time. It got so you felt guilty or less holy if you got tired and had to sit down.  After 1980 did it progress any further?? I mean, did it get to the point where people were running in place the whole time?


--Joe

 ;D just kidding of course.

 GG went to Greece and saw that the people in the Greek Orthodox services stood up through the whole service.  This might have had something to do with the fact that their churches don't have any chairs, but GG saw it as a new legalistic standard to strive for.  This is called "the liberty of the Holy Spirit"  If you didn't see it that way, you were just carnal.

Well, no one wants to hang out an "I am carnal" sign...so like sheep we all stood up.

Now, running in place...don't you wish GG had visited a christian gym or something and had been inspired by the idea of being a "heavenly footman" 24/7.  

Isn't legalism fun???

Thomas Maddux

Dear Mith,

I suffered for years with hypoglycemia brought on by adrenal exhaustion which was a result of stress.  It was like a little piece of hell.  I tried every remedy known to man except common sense.  I went to chiropracters, nutritionists, a chinese herbalist, (that ground up goat horn powder makes a real tasty drink...if you are a goat), medical doctors...whatever.  I even let some MD inject me with pig adrenalin at about $40 a whack.     Nothing helped.  

About 10 days after I left the assembly...it went away.

I have been fine for years now.  Rarely a problem and then very mild.  Just a few times a year when I am stressed.  

Now if I could only conquer this urge to eat garbage and roll in mud.

Thomas Maddux

I have finished my short essay about my experience in the Zach household.  Send me a personal meesage if you'd like a copy of it.

If it is indeed short why not post it? I would like to read it.
Verne

Mithrandir,
Just noticed this thread.  Another good question.
I wonder how many others are still having some back problems resulting from too many years of long exposure to poorly designed metal chairs 3x a week or more.  It might have been better to have been running in place.
But overall, I feel much better healthwise, especially on Sunday afternoons when we are outdoors, breathing fresh air and moving around.
Btw, I don't think this is 'complaining'.  I think I am 'rejoicing'.
Becky

Tom,

Did you ever try the Gruesome diet? Everyone on it grew some.

OR the Candida diet - can't eat a this and can't eat a that.

OR take coffee breaks?

OR the latest fad started by none other than Brent Tr0ckman - the Zone diet. People vowed that they would be on that one till death did them part this life.

What's the recommended diet for NPD? :)

Lord bless,
Marcia

When I was on a team, the "young" people had to sit on the floor during the prayer meetings.  After two weeks of this, my back was so sore that I found it difficult to walk.  Fortunately, there were many chiropractors in fellowship there.  He told me to stop sitting on the floor, which I did.  No one even questioned me after that (perhaps he spoke to the LBs and/or the team leader).

"Young" basically meant anybody that didn't have a family.

Dave

Marcia,

I don't seem to need the Gruesome diet.  My waistline grows whenever I even think about food.

I avoided the "Alternative Coffee Drinking Method Diet", also called the Gershom Diet, by doing some research.

I went to the Library and found a book on alternative cancer treatments.  One section evaluated the Gershom Diet.  What the authors had done was to contact the people who were examples of "cures" in Gershom's  book.  Or, their families.

What I learned was that the diet produced positives results in many cases.  IF you stayed on it faithfully for life.  Most of the people had eventually died of cancer, after having gone off the diet after several years.

Since my case wasn't a life or death issue...I opted to drink my coffee in the usual way.

Interestingly, when my daughter Glory came down with Wilm's Tumor, (kidney cancer), at 13 I did some pretty serious looking into alternative treatmets.  I called the Gershom clinic in Mexico, and talked to Gershom's son-in-law.  When I asked if they had ever heard of Wilm's Tumor, he said, "No, but I'm sure we can cure it".

That was such a turn-off for me that I dropped that line of investigation.  

Good thing...the Gershom diet is based on the idea that all cancer is caused by toxic substances that get into our bodies from food, water, and our living environment.  In recent years, it has been shown that Wilm's Tumor results from a recessive gene that you inherit from your mother.  Kind of like color-blindness.

By the way, Glory took me out to lunch on my birthday a couple of weeks ago.  She is 32 now.  That is amazing, since I am only a few days past 39 myself.  (about 8400 days, more or less)

God bless,

Thomas Maddux

After I was married and had my own home, I occasionally went for a jog between Sunday meetings in order in order to try to keep the body going for the long, grewling Sunday.  

It's sad, really.  I remember at 18 or 19 being so excited about this new Christian group and making sacrifices so I could come out.  Then, it grew into something where I would wake up on a Sunday morning and just groan wishing I could relate better to King David who seemed to love inquiring in God's temple.

Now, I am in a large church with padded chairs, we sit during some choruses and we have a coffee house during Sunday School.  

Yes.  The truth comes out after all these years.  Of course, it was Bob Ford from whom I got the definition of Assembly-type evangelism - "going up to someone you don't know and telling them what they don't want to hear."

One of the best things that can happen to an ex-assemblyite is to go camping, sailing, or something like that with another ex-assemblyite, and then, when the conversation inevitably turns to the topic of The Assembly, the next hour is taken up with nothing but laughter at the zany, whacky, mystifying things we used to do.

I think that is one of the healthiest things we can, and even better when done viewing a fine sunset.

Brent

Brent,

I agree wholeheartedly.  Tonight I had some good laughs while doing some "remembering" with my three adult daughters; Grace, Glory and Joy.

You know, "hey, remember the time brother ... said/did/forgot to/lost/ didn't zip his.. and so on.

Thomas Maddux

I wonder if we could talk Tommy K into doing a bit of sailing in the V.I.? I know he really enjoyed diving the wreck of the H.M.S Rhone...Mark C is a diver too...is this a possible expedition in the making...? the combination of ocean and sunset is really hard to beat!
Verne

I wonder if we could talk Tommy K into doing a bit of sailing in the V.I.? I know he really enjoyed diving the wreck of the H.M.S Rhone...Mark C is a diver too...is this a possible expedition in the making...? the combination of ocean and sunset is really hard to beat!
Verne

Been there, done that, (With Tommy K.) and ready to do it again!  I spoke to Tommy a couple weeks ago, and he is also game.

Shall we make plans?  What will people think if they find out that we know how to smile, dive, have a beer and sail in tropical paradise?  How will this fit our hard won image of bitter, hatefilled, perpetual victims?

These things must be given consideration before we embark on a trip to the BVI.....


OK, I'm done considering.  Shall we go?

Brent

Ai Yi Yiiii! Anchors Away!  :)  :)  :)
Verne

p.s As for the bitternes bit, let 'em keep thinking that and pass me a Guiness!
Verne

p.s. Gonna be in Barcelona December and some of January, let's think about 'round Spring...?

Hi to all those driving and diving into the sunset!  :)

  I sold off all of my diving gear and don't even have a mask and fins now!  I would have suggested that we move our vacation plans to St. Eustacius, but my Mom has sold her place there and now lives with us here in Fallbrook.  This island is owned by the Dutch, where Heinikein is .50 a bottle, and the diving in nearby Saba is some of the most spectacular diving I have ever done!
   However, this Spring I am going to Australia with my Mom, as that is where she is originally from, to visit relatives before they pass into the sunset.  I will of course try and make at least one dive while there, hopefully up in the Coral Sea, as that probably is one of the best spots in the world to dive.  I'm not much of a beer drinker, but if only to demonstrate a lack of bitterness and anger against
GG and the Assembly  ;), I will drink at least one toast to the joy of a beautiful tropical sunset!  
                             God Bless,  Mark C.

An absolute amen to your comments about Joe's hilarity. Telling Joe to stop being funny is like telling me to stop being loquacious! We certainly would not want that now would we?  ;D ;D
 I too reseverve  the occasional Guiness ("it's good...and good for you!" ) for very special occasions and hitting open Caribbean waters would certainly qualify!

What on earth was your mom thinking? Not to worry, I got a few acres in the BVI... :)


Verne

St. Eustacius!!!! I went there once. I don't really remember it too well though, because Heineken is only .50 cents a bottle there.


--Joe ;D

P.S.  Mark---I used to go diving up here off of Anacapa and Santa Cruz Islands. I know it doesn't compare to a place like you've mentioned, but just curious if you ever went diving there.  --JS

Hi Joe and Verne!  :)
  I learned how to dive at Anacapa Island when I was about 13 years old.  I dove quite a bit throughout the Channel Islands and Catalina before I joined up with the Assembly.  We used to load gunny sacks with abalone, before the days of limits, and probably contributed greatly to the present shortage.
   My Mom came home as the Island she lived on had little medical care and was far from where her family could help her if she ran into health problems.  Her health is good, but she is 81 and we wanted her to settle here close to where we could look after her.
  I'm glad Verne you have some land on the BVI's as I would like to dive that wreck that you were talking about.  I would like to go if just for a chance to be able to meet you face to face and have a nice long talk  :).
                            God Bless,  Mark C.

                       

When I am not being bitter and unforgiving, I am involved in my kid's lives, primarily in Athletics at this time of year.

A normal Saturday for us entails a gymnastics event up to 400 miles away, and two football games, which could be at the same time, an hour or more apart.  Suzie puts over 100 miles on the diesel everyday.  (Diesels love this)

Of course, during the Assembly days, we never could have had our kids do this.  Our daughter, the gymnast, missed out on 2 or 3 years of training that she had to make up for quite fast.  Thankfully, God has given her a tenacious spirit.  

This last Saturday, my youngest son's team won the final playoff game, getting in to the superbowl, which is a really big deal.  Their record is 10--0  and the team they are playing is also 10---0, so this is going to be a huge deal, with a professional announcer, programs, etc.

We are so proud of him!!!

This is also, IMHO, a very healthy thing to do, especially for those of us who had school age kids during the days we served George Geftakys.

Don't get me wrong, just because the Tr0ckman's have a very busy life that has nothing at all to do with the Assembly doesn't mean we aren't still perpetual victims!  I don't want any of you getting the wrong idea..... ;) ;)  No, we intend to be as bitter as ever, in spite of what others may say!  ;D

Since you do intend to be bitter
May I then suggest you get a sitter
Who'll take care of the kids
While you're on the skids
And your poor neighbors all go a twitter  ;D
Verne

p.s. How'm I doin'? Be honest...!   ;D  ;D

     What?!  The kids in your assembly didn't enter into competitions?  Wow!  i'm amazed.

     In the early days, our kids were constantly engaged in contests of one kind or another.  My oldest won the Conscious But Absolutely Motionless And Quiet endurance trials crown on three separate occasions.  And my son was awarded the Blueness Of the Wound trophy two consecutive years.  You guys really missed out!

al

ok one of the things I noticed after someone got cancer in the assembly...all of the sudden they were at home with their parents .. the same worldly parents they had forsaken ..It got me thinking if I got sick.. gee maybe I'd have to go crawling back home... well later I did get sick semi- life threatening.. and it helped me evaluate alot of things... prior to the illness (or before diagnosis) a prominant sister told me I should PUSH myself harder... at that point I felt I'd be dead if I pushed any harder...anyway a batch of Chinese Herbs  got me well and I hav'ent had a problem since...by the way when I first entered the assm.. Betty was on her Deathbed along with Gay Mau...or was it just they're clever way to skip meetings.....next thing you know Gay was marrying Keith and Betty bounced back..... Those herbs are truly amazing....