AssemblyBoard

Hello everyone, its been a while since I've last visited here.  I hope you are all doing well.  The last time I I posted here was on the topic of anxiety.  Although, I feel have made progress, I still continue to struggle with it quite a bit.  I have found that even mundane tasks , are now often difficult.  I am currently working two jobs, and I have found that at times of heightened anxiety, it can be hard to concentrate on the task at hand.  It has, unfortunately, effected my work performance.  It's very frustrating because I feel like I cannot give my utmost, because I am often restricted.  
Almost all of this is exclusively related to unresolved issues in my view of what Christianity ought to be.  I know I am being vague, but it's as if I have yet to find that "common ground" or "normal Christian life".  I will be fine for a couple of days, but then I will have some disparaging thought come into my head.  (A Few Examples)

Can I lose my salvation?

What if I continue in sin?

Fear of not changing or adhering to what God wants

Fear of if I stand for God, I will face rejection, belittlement from peers


Once the thought comes in, the struggle/torment begins.  I usually try to put the thought in the back of mind, or reassure myself with various verses, but it doesn't always work.  I have read most of the articles from the Assembly website.  Some of which I have found very helpful.  I am also planning on purchasing "How to Read the Bible for all that it's Worth"?  I am also currently seeing a Psychologist who is a Christian. If any of you could offer any sort of advice, or recommend any materials, I would appreciate it. I don't believe I will be able to overcome this all at once.  Like I mentioned earlier, I believe that I am progressing, but there continues to remain more ebbs than flows, it seems like.  

Have you read The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by Johnson and Vanvonderen?

I have not read What's So Amazing About Grace by Yancey. I've heard that it's really good.

It took Moses 40 years in the wilderness before he returned to lead God's people. It took Jacob ?? years to be changed from a rascal to Israel. I believe that it takes time to be healed. After all we were all "in" for quite a number of years.

Marcia

Dear fellow soldier of the cross:
Persevere! This is the key. The struggles and trials are normative. God intends for you to be victorious because Christ was! I would recommend that you find a brother you can trust and spend time, not analysing but simply praying together. Check out some of the articles on the rest for the weary site about God's promises and faithfulness. Read Margaret's new section on the main site about God's promises to us. Remember, the only thing you have to resolve in your own mind is whethter the promises of God to you as His child are true or they are not. If you truly believe what He has said about you His child, you will find the joy of your  salvation to be irrepressible...believe it my friend...believe it!!
Verne