AssemblyBoard

   
   We don’t live in a communist country do we?  And yet we’ve lived that
existence, haven’t we?  We know what it’s like to tell our consciences, and our
intuition, and our very own good common sense, to shut up and take a back seat to the
wisdom of a stranger claiming spiritual leadership.  We know what it’s like to live
with the knowledge that we too gave the same words of rebuke to others who left the
assembly ten or twenty times before we ourselves heard the words in our own ears, in
our own heads, and then had to start from scratch to learn again the good common
sense that God had given us.
   Are we bitter?  I’m not.  I’m grateful.   I’m free and I know what my freedom
means.  I know that I am not a zero, not ‘just a sinner’ but a worthwhile human being
with gifts and appetites and feelings and joys and thoughts that need not be
suppressed or endorsed by spiritual superiors in order to enjoy them myself.  
   Seven years is nothing now that it’s passed and still, I cried.  “It’s like
somebody died.” I said crying, when I heard that many assemblies all over the US and
most in Canada had closed their doors.  Why?  Because there was something in me,
no matter what I experienced, that wanted it to be true - George and being in the
centre of God’s will in the assembly.  It brought back the memories of that far away
dream, of being married to a leading brother somewhere, of raising Godly children
and knowing the ‘protection’ of the assembly against the evil of the last days.  
   I remember too, fully expecting to be struck dead by lightning when I left the
Lord, to find my end in a brutal accident or go stark raving mad.  But it didn’t happen.
None of it: fears or dreams.  I didn’t go nuts.  I got a life.  I started dealing with those
low self esteem issues, finding out that worse fates could have befallen me than a
controlling religious group - notice how I try really hard not to say cult.  And I’m still
healing, like I said.  
   Strange as it may seem, my children are my best teachers when it comes to
love and acceptance.  It seems that they were born knowing they were loved, that they
are precious.  And through loving them, and watching them thrive in my loving hands,
I’ve learned what a loving, worthwhile and important person I am. In contrast, that
the assembly either employed leaders that hid abuse or else brutally abused their
wives and children and each other, does not surprise me in the least. A regime can not
hold the control of thought that this one did over its members without also having a
reason for that control to exist - something to hide, secrets to protect.  The most
‘godly sister’ I knew never dealt with me in kindness.  She very carefully scared me to
death. Before her, I always felt hopeless.
   I applaud the courage of Bill and Joyce, of Judy and Rachel.  Though I’ve
never met you, I know you.  You’re not different from me.  I stand with you and
validate your experience and your stories with my own: amen. It’s true Joyce.  What
you say is true.  Good for you Rachel and Judy, you didn’t let the enemy crush you.
You stood up for the oppressed and the broken: yourself.  That’s got to be worth
something.  That’s got to let you sleep at night, no matter how your conscience is
riddled with scars and regrets.
    And still I am left, very much like my grandmother at the end of the second
world war, looking for her kin.  I wonder about the missing, those I’ve lost contact
with over the years: Flora Campbell, who was totally abandoned by the saints in
Ottawa and to whom the Ottawa saints owe so much more. Of all people, Flora served
and was honest and humble and thoughtful to those she knew. Still, she was the least
considered by those in leadership. The last time I saw Flora she didn’t look like she’d
live long. Armand and Nancy Cossette - how do you sleep at night?
   What’s become of Darrel Bright - the man with whom I was hauled up on the
rug before the leading brothers and shamed again and again because we talked on the
phone too much. Because he passed me a note once in a meeting.  Though we never
even touched once, I felt like such a whore when the brothers were done with us.  I
thought I’d die.  Darrel - have you found the girl of your dreams yet? I wish you well.
   Where are Nancy and Bill (?) from Omaha?
   Mary and Chris Burgess who, like many, had to flee to be married and whose
wedding invitation was never read to the saints in Ottawa.  People in Ottawa were
treated like trash when they didn’t conform to George’s plan. We lost touch Mary,
where and how are you?
   Rose Doonan, who married a brother from the U.S. - and of whom Tim
Geftakys said (to me) not many years ago: that sister has a lot to learn.  Rose, have
you quit trying to measure up to his standards?   Eileen, her little sister who once
exhorted me until I collapsed against a wall - I forgive you - do you know yet that you
need my forgiveness?  What has happened to all of these people?  Where are you?
Are you well?  Have you learned to separate George’s talk from your own?  Have you
learned to think with the good sense God gave you?  Somehow, when we parted ways,
leaving the assembly, the saints forgot we were people. We were a label to be
shunned until we repented. I think that’s so sad.

   To everyone who’s still surviving the pain - however well intentioned - that
we inflicted on one another in George’s cause - that great testimony to Jesus: forgive
yourself.  Enjoy your freedom.  The war may not be over, but there is freedom.  Cry
if you need to, rejoice if you can.  Hug yourself if there’s no one there to do that for
you.  I send my love.
   
Those wishing to respond, please do: crocusqueen@hotmail.com

Sincerely Delila R. Hesketh (nee Jahn)

Dear Delila  :)
   I noticed at the bottom of your post the verse, "Jesus wept" and your story and the many like them has not gone unnoticed by Him.
   Self esteem has been a struggle for me as well.  Many Christians don't like that phrase because it sounds too much like a secular psychological term.  For these what if I used the word "honored" instead?
   When we read the Gospels who did Jesus honor with kind words of acceptance?  Was it the religious big wheels of that time who were able to perform their loveless version of righteousness?
   No to the above paragraph, and of course we know that Jesus accepted the broken sinner who came trusting in His love.  The "sinner woman" of the Gospels whom Jesus honored the most by causing her story to be memoralized forever in all four Gospels is the same way Jesus now looks at His wounded pilgrims.
   I truly believe that we, as those previously crushed under the wheels of the GG machine, are very close to God's heart and have a special part to play as we travel through this shadow land.   Jesus took a simple blind man and used him to not only instruct the proud religious leaders of that time but also via written word for the last 2 thousand years!  
   We, like the blind man and sinner woman, are lessons in grace for the Pharisees of our age.  We are a living testimony to the fact that relationship with God is a loving trust and not a system of self righteousness.
   You are highly esteemed of God and to the glory of His grace!             God Bless,  Mark C.

Did anyone see Bill Moyer's interview of the philosopher Susan Nieman and the discussion of her book Evil in Modern Thought?
(on his program Now What)
There are some well-intentioned individuals who have temporised mightily about the nature of the man George Geftakys and the house that he built. I am making a herculean effort to remain reasonably objective as I have read through Delila's account. You on the  BB know the fire that burns...
I want to ask all of you who in one fashion or another seek to exculpate Geftakys and the men he surborned. Do you for one minute think hers is the worst story?
Do you think it just a tragic departure from the norm?
Would you be surprised to learn that the vast majority of those wounded have remained silent?
What thinkest ye?
I recommend Susan Nieman's book.
I do not think her a woman of faith.
Strange is it not?...we are the ones who are supposed to have the mind of Christ...
My own greatest frustration in all this has been the obdurate resistance of some of us, to acknowledgement of the true nature of that which ensnared us...
Where do you see in anything that the Lord Jesus ever said or did, a hint of any such ambivalence?

He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters abroad. Matthew 12:30

Who among us is prepared to contend that the man George Geftakys and those he spawned were with Christ? What exactly is it that they have gathered?

Delila God put Isaiah 42:3-4 in the book just for you my friend...thank you for enduring the discomfort of transparency...
Be convinced that the wounds the Great Physician heals are scar-less...and He, I assure you, will fully settle all accounts...
In Christ,
Verne

The Lord has made all for Himself, even the wicked for the day of evil
Proverbs 16:4

We will never trust God fully until we come to an understanding, recognition, and acceptance of His purpose, and refuse to allow ourselves to in any way be distracted by His process...think about it...

  Verne,
  I did not see this show, but it sounds like a very interesting book.  Why is it that those that claim to have the "mind of Christ", which is the opposite of evil, end up creating a religioius system like the Assembly that can cause so much evil?  Wow--- there's a topic for a doctoral thesis!  
   I believe with you that what we hear on the BB is only a tip of the iceberg.  This brings me to something that I know some who read here might be thinking:  How in the world can we trust these "testimonials" that we read about Assembly abuse?  "Anybody with a computer can get on and say whatever they want and we never here the other side," some may say.  "Didn't we have some good times and truly serve Christ at times?   Was the whole thing about GG and his commandants of various Stalags devising cruel ways of torture for God's people?
   This is what makes it so difficult for some in just flat out calling the Assembly "evil".  We all pretty much can agree that GG was evil, and that those who insured that his orders were being carried out were participants in that evil, to one degree or another.  Then there are those like us who really were committed to Christ and bought into the lie that "the mind of Christ" was GG and his vision/ministry.  It is impossible for us to know who was sincerely deceived and who were being insincere; by insincere I mean those actually motivated and controlled by evil.
   I say all this (I know it takes me a long time to get to the point) to come back to the "stories" like Delila's and whether we should trust them in getting an accurate picture of the Assembly or not.  Dr. Ronald Enroth, in writing his books on "Churces That Abuse" faced this criticism as well (especially from the groups that were given negative treatment ) that the stories from abused members of these groups were not accurate.  One reviewer of his last book took the side of the groups in saying the individual testimonies could not be trusted as they came from "disgruntled former members."
   Enroth answered his critics by pointing out the huge volume of "testimonials" that he had compiled that were gathered independently of each other from many different areas.  As he listened to, or read the story of each over the years of preparing for these books he said he could have stopped the speaker and finsihed the story for them;  they all fit into a continuing pattern that confirmed the fact that these testimonials were painting a picture that was far more accurate than the groups' views of themselves.
  I can say when Enroth interviewed me and used my story in his second book that I think that there was at least one minor error in it, but it certainly did not effect the concepts that were being communicated.  Also, there is so much strong emotion, we as testimony givers, tell the story as we felt it vs. maybe how it may have appeared to others at the time.  The last time I gave ministry I was followed by a bro. who "corrected" my message and I remember it as if he threw a blanket  over my head and hit me with a bat!  The shunning of my family, the being kicked out of the brothers house and having to live in my tent trailer for a month, all the lies, etc. felt to me like a torture worse than any physical deprivation or abuse.  Emotional/ spiritual abuse are real things and Jesus recognized this as well.
  I listened to that tape of the last Sunday I spoke from over 12 years ago some months back and was amazed that what the bro. who followed me had to say seemed pretty mild.  Anyone listening to that Sun. AM ministry would have thought there were no problems at all and would not have picked up on what was going on.  Of course, the total silence when I spoke and the loud "amens" when the last bro. spoke might have been a clue.
  Much of what went on was below sea-level and the casual observer can not understand the reality without these stories that are told here.  As you continue to read a pattern emerges of a great tragedy that twists what God intended to be a blessing to His people into a machine that crushes our very souls.  If we ever get to understand the evil in the Assembly it will be because of those willing to tell their stories.  Thanks to all who are willing to participate in this endeavor.
                                                God Bless,  Mark C.

Is it not interestig that there are still some (thankfully we have learned to ignore them) who will vehemently disagree even with the above premise, i.e. that evil did exist...
This I think is the kind of mentality that would mitigate the sin of Eve by pointing out:

"But the fruit was nutritous...!"
Verne
p.s. How remarkably strange! Armand and Nancy were always presented as such stellar examples and the "perfect" couple, yet now seemed to be mired in such profound wickedness as to warrant uncertainty about what master they serve...!
Verne