AssemblyBoard

 :):
JUNE 25: 2004: 9:53 PM EST.

This post is a place where you can display warning and other every day information.

I was sent this email, and I think it is a good warning for Canadian and American alike.
I wouldnt be a very good sister in the Lord if I didnt pass this on to you. :-X

So here is this latest OPP warning about credit card scams. :-\ It is the way I received minus all the email address from being forwarded a few times..

PS: IT HAS BEEN VIRUS SCANNED BY MY VIRUS SCANNER.
-------------------------------------------------------------------



This is an important notice passed on by the Perth Police Dept. about a new
credit card scam that is worth reading.



Lauren Walton

Clerk / Community Emergency Management Coordinator

Town of Perth

80 Gore St. E.

Perth, ON

K7H 1H9

www.perthcanada.com


(       ( 613 ) 267-3311 ext. 2239
Ê       ( 613 ) 267-5635
*       lwalton@town.perth.on.ca





"This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and intended
solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed. If
you have received this email in error please notify the system manager.
Please note that any views or opinions presented in this email are solely
those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the Town of
Perth. Finally, the recipient should check this email and any attachments
for the presence of viruses. The Town of Perth accepts no liability for any
damage caused by any virus transmitted by this email."





>

>   Visa/MasterCard Fraud

>Hi everyone, just a heads up in case someone contacts you looking for

>information on Fraudulent Credit Card usage. If nothing else, it is good

>information to know.

>

>This was broadcast to numerous fraud sections across Canada and you

>might be interested in the content.

>

>Those con artists get more creative every day. My husband was called on

>Wednesday from "VISA", and I was called on Thursday from "MasterCard".

>The scam works like this:

>

>Person calling says, "this is , and I'm calling from the Security and

>Fraud Department at VISA. My Badge number is 12460. Your card has been

>flagged for an unusual purchase pattern, and I'm calling to verify. This

>would be on your VISA card which was issued by bank. Did you purchase an

>Anti-Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a marketing company based in

>Arizona?"

>

>When you say "No", the caller continues with, "Then we will be issuing a

>credit to your account. This is a company we have been watching and the

>charges range from $297 to $497, just under the $500 purchase pattern

>that flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be

>sent to (gives you your address), is that correct?"

>

>You say "yes". The caller continues... "I will be starting a Fraud

>investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 1-800

>number listed on the back of your card (1-800-VISA) and ask for

>Security! You will need to refer to this control #".  The caller then

>gives you a 6 digit number. "Do you need me to read it again?"

>

>Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works.

>

>The caller then says, "he needs to verify you are in possession of your

>card".

>

>He'll ask you to "turn your card over and look for some numbers. There

>are 7 numbers; the first 4 are your card number, the! next 3 are the

>Security Numbers' that verify you are in possession of the card. These

>are the numbers you use to make Internet purchases to prove you have the

>card.

>

>"Read me the 3 numbers". After you tell the caller the 3 numbers, he'll

>say ,"That is correct. I just needed to verify that the card has not

>been lost or stolen, and that you still have your card. Do you have any

>other questions?"

>

>After you say No, the caller then Thanks you and states, "Don't hesitate

>to call back if you do", and hangs up.

>

>You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell you the

>card number. But after we were called on Wednesday, we called back

>within 20 minutes to ask a question.

>

>Are we glad we did!

>

>The REAL VISA Security Department told us it was a scam and in the last

>15 minutes a new purchase of $497.99 was charge on our card. Long story

>made short, we made a real fraud report and closed the VISA card, and

>they are reissuing us a new number.

>

>What the scammers wants is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the

>card. Don't give it to them. Instead, tell them you'll call VISA or

>Mastercard direct. The real VISA told us that they will never ask for

>anything on the card as they already know the information since they

>issued the card!

>

>If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you think you're

>Receiving a credit. However, by the time you get your statement, you'll

>see charges for purchases you didn't make, and by then it's almost to

>late and/or harder to actually file a fraud report.

>

>What makes this more remarkable ! is that on Thursday, I got a call from

>A "Jason Richardson of MasterCard" with a word-for-word repeat of the

>VISA scam. This time I didn't let him finish. I hung up! We filed a

>police report, as instructed by VISA. The police said they are taking

>several of these reports daily!

>

>They also urged us to tell everybody we know that this scam is

>happening.

>

>Consider passing this on.

>

Here is the first part of the time line of Canada:
In Honour of Canada Day July 1st.


10,000 to 15,000 BC - Inhabitants in the Blue Fish Caves in the Yukon.
1001 AD: Lief Ericsson explores the coast of Labrador and Newfoundland. Ericsson also may have explored along the coast of Nova Scotia and New England which he called Vineland.
 1490: English fisherman were probably visiting the Grand Banks to fish and possibly had landed along the shore of Atlantic Canada.
1497: Henry the VII of England sends John Cabot to the new world where he explores the coast of  Cape Breton Island, Newfoundland or Labrador
1498: Cabot makes his second voyage across the Atlantic to the Maritimes but is lost at sea.
1500: Gaspar de Corte-Real sails around Newfoundland
1508: Thomas Aubert visits Newfoundland
1520: Fagundes sails into the Gulf of St. Lawrence area
1534: France dispatches an expedition to Atlantic Canada under the command of Jacques Cartier. He explores the coast of Newfoundland, Labrador and The Gulf of St. Lawrence. He landed in Gaspe on July 14, 1534 and planted the flag of France.
1535: Cartier continues to explore eastern Canada and sails up the St. Lawrence river the Indian villages of Hochelega (present day Montreal) and Stadacona (present day Quebec city
1541: Cartier returns to North America with the Sieur de Roberval to found a settlement. They named it Charlesbourg-Royal and it became the first French settlement in North America.
1577: seeking the legendary North West passage to Asia and the spice/silk trade, the England commissions Martin Frobisher to sail North over the top of America to the pacific. Frobisher would make 3 attempts, all of which ended in failure. The furthest he got was the Hudson Strait
1606: First theatrical production in Canada
1608: Samuel de Champlain sails up the St. Lawrence and lays claim to Quebec for France.
1609: Champlain travels with the Algonquins to Lake Champlain where they attack the Iroquois and the French use firearms against the Iroquois.
1615: William Harvey discovers the principle of the circulation of the blood
1617: Louis Hebert, the first habitant (farmer), arrives in Quebec
1621: William Alexander is awarded Nova Scotia by England
1622: Rubens commissioned to do the Marie de Medici
- In England the first newspaper ‘the Weekly News’ is published
1623: Founding of Avalon, Newfoundland
1625: Jesuits arrive in Quebec to begin missionary work among the Indians
1627: The Company of One Hundred Associates is founded (Apr. 29), by Cardinal Richelieu, to establish a French Empire in North America
- War breaks out between England and France
1812
The U.S. declares war on Britain (June 18), beginning the War of 1812. Americans under General William Hull invade Canada from Detroit (July 11). Canadians are victorious at the Battle of Queenston Heights (Oct. 13). The Red River settlement is begun in Canada's northwest (Aug.-Oct.) on lands granted to Lord Selkirk by the Hudson's Bay Company.
1813
Americans burn York (Apr. 27). The Battles of Stoney Creek (June 5) and Beaver Dam (June 23) are Canadian victories, the latter in part due to Laura Secord's famous 32 km. walk to warn Lieutenant James FitzGibbon, who had already been warned by Indians. The Battles of Put-in-Bay, Lake Erie (Sept. 10) and Moraviantown (Oct. 5) are both American victories. At the latter, which is also known as the Battle of the Thames, British supporter and Shawnee Indian Chief Tecumseh is killed. The Battles of Chateauguay (Oct. 25) -- with mostly French-Canadian soldiers -- and Crysler's Farm (Nov. 11) -- with English-Canadian soldiers -- are Canadian both victories over larger American troops.
1836
Opening of Canada's first railway line, from St. Johns, Québec, to La Prairie, Québec
1849
The boundary of the 49th Parallel is extended to the Pacific Ocean. An Act of Amnesty provides for W.L. Mackenzie's return from exile in the U.S.
1855
Bytown is renamed Ottawa.
1857
Queen Victoria designates Ottawa as capital of the Province of Canada
1867
Confederation. Britain's North American colonies are united by means of the BNA Act to become the Dominion of Canada (July 1). Sir John A. Macdonald is Canada's first Prime Minister. Ottawa offically becomes capital of the Dominion.
1868
Thomas D'Arcy McGee, one of the fathers of Confederation and an outspoken enemy of the Fenians, becomes Canada's first assassination victim at the hands of a Fenian (Apr. 7).
1874
Riel is elected to the House of Commons but cannot take the seat (Feb.). Alexander Graham Bell discloses the invention of the telephone to his father at the family home on the outskirts of Brantford, Ontario (July 26). Anabaptists (Russian Mennonites) start to arrive in Manitoba from various Russian colonies

 :)JULY 1ST AT 8:04 PM.

HAPPY CANADA DAY:::::::::: :D :D :D

eview Agency intends to screen foreign investment in Canada (July 18). TV cameras are allowed in the House of Commons for the first time. Trudeau institutes wage and price controls to fight inflation (Oct. 14).
1977
Québec passes Bill 101, restricting English schooling to children of parents who had been educated in English schools (Aug. 26). Highway signs are changed to the metric system (Sept. 6).
1980
Ken Taylor, Canadian ambassador to Iran, becomes an international celebrity for helping six Americans escape Tehran (Jan. 28). Canada boycotts Moscow's Olympic games due to the invasion of Afghanistan. A Québec referendum rejects sovereignty-association (May 22). "O Canada" is officially adopted as Canada's national anthem (June 27). The Supreme Court recognizes the equal distribution of assets in failed common-law relationships.

1981
Terry Fox dies of cancer in the middle of his cross-Canada Marathon of Hope (June 29). His example eventually raises about 25 million dollars. Québec bans public signs in English (Sept. 23). The federal and provincial governments (except Québec) agree on a method to repatriate Canada's constitution (Nov. 5).
1989
Free Trade goes into effect (Jan 1). Heather Erxleben becomes Canada's first acknowledged female combat soldier. One-dollar bills are replaced by the one-dollar coin, popularly called the "loonie." The government announces cuts in the funding of VIA Rail, to much public outcry (June 5). The first woman to lead a federal political party, Audrey McLaughlin replaces Ed Broadbent as head of the NDP (Dec. 2). Fourteen female engineering students are separated from their male colleagues and murdered by a gunman at the University of Montréal (Dec.  
1991
The unpopular Goods and Services Tax comes into effect (Jan. 1). Canadian forces join the multinational forces in the battle to drive Saddam Hussein's Iraqi troops from Kuwait (Jan. 15). British Columbia premier Bill Van Der Zalm resigns in the midst of a real estate scandal. George Erasmus, leader of the Assembly of First Nations, resigns at the end of his second term (May); he is succeeded by Ovide Mercredi, whose popularity earns him the nickname of "eleventh premier." Yet another committee crosses the country soliciting citizens' opinions on proposed constitutional reforms. David Schindler of the University of Alberta wins the first international Stockholm Water Prize for environmental research. In a Brantford, Ontario courtroom, a Six Nations man is the first to be allowed to make a traditional native oath instead of swearing on the Bible (Nov.). The Tungavik sign an agreement with Ottawa to create a new, quasi-independent Inuit territory in the eastern Arctic.

 :): Here are some dates to send someone an ecard /phone call/letter to say I AM THINKING OF YOU:

----------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 
 Friendship Thoughts
=================
 Send A Smile
=================

 .have A Great Day

. Hi / Hello

. Thinking Of You
.
 
 
Daily Celebrations
================
 

July 2004
==========

4 Fourth Of July................Sunday
4 Barbecue Day....................Sunday........................................Food
4 Country Music Day..............Sunday..............................................................Activity+
3 Chocolate Wafer Day......................................................Food  *
3 Eat Beans Day....................................................................Food
 

5 Workaholics Day
6 Republican Party Day
7 Chocolate Day....................................................................Food *
7 Macaroni Day....................................................................Food
7 Father And Daughter Take
   A Walk Together Day.....................................................................................Activity
7 Tanabata (Japan)
8 Be A Kid Day..................................................................................................... Activity +
8 Ice Cream Sundae Day............................................................Food *
8 Don't Put All Your Eggs In
  One Omelette Day................................................................Food
8 Milk Chocolate With
  Almonds Day........................................................................Food *
9 Rock n' Roll Day.........................................................................................Activity +
9 Sugar Cookie Day............................................................Food *
9 Martyrdom Of The Bab
10 Teddy Bear's Picnic Day............................................................................Activity +
10 Intern Appreciation Day
10 Statehood Day
    (Wyoming)
11 Swimming Pool Day...............Sunday.............................................................Activity
11 Blueberry Muffin Day..............Sunday........................Food *
11 Cheer Up Day................................Sunday.........................................................Activity +
12 Hug Week until the 16th......................................................ACTIVITY ==============
12 Simplicity Day....................................................................................................Activity
12 Barn Day..............................................................................................................Activity +
13 French Fries Day..........................................................Food *
13 Puzzle Day.......................................................................................................Activity +
13 Beans And Franks Day...............................................Food *
14 Bastille Day
14 Pandemonium Day
14 Cow Appreciation Day......................................................................................Activity +
14 Pick Blueberries Day..............................................Food.................................Activity
15 No-Hitter Day
15 Respect Canada Day..........................................................................................Activity +
15 I Love Horses Day...............................................................................................Activity +
16 Talk To A Telemarketer
    Day
16 District Of Columbia Day
17 Wrong Way Corrigan Day..............................................................................Activity
17 Shark Awareness Day.......................................................................................Activity
17 Twin-O-Rama
    (Wisconsin)
17 Peach Ice Cream Day...................................................Food *
18 Dental Awareness Day..................Sunday
18 Chrysanthemum Day.......................Sunday.......................................................Activity +
18 Wiener Day..........................................Sunday..........Food *
18 Cedarfest (Tennessee)
19 Bloomer Day
20 Fortune Cookie Day...................................................Food *
20 Moon Day..................................................................................................................Activity
20 Lollipop Day................................................................Food *
20 Chess Day...............................................................................................................Activity
21 Monkey Day
22 Spoonerism Day
22 Cleveland Day
23 Ice Cream Cone Day...................................................Food *
23 Vanilla Ice Cream Day...............................................Food *
23 Private Eye Day.......................................................................................................Activity
24 Cousins Day............................................................................................................Activity
24 Public Opinion Day...............................................................................................Activity
24 Watermelon Days .......................................................Food *
25 Parents' Day...........................Sunday...................................................................ACTIVITY +++++++
25 St. James Day.............................Sunday
25 Act Like A Caveman Day.................Sunday............................................................Activity
25 Carousel Day........................................Sunday......................................................ACTIVITY +++
26 Groovy Chicken Day
26 Americans With
    Disabilities Day
26 Aunt And Uncle's Day...........................................................................................Activity
26 Coffee Milkshake Day.............................................Food
26 Ratification Day
    (New York)
27 St. Pantaleone's Day
28 Hamburger Day........................................................Food
28 Cheese Lovers Day..................................................Food
28 Accountant's Day
29 Rain Day.....................................................................................................................Activity
29 Final Frontier Day...................................................................................................Activity
 

NO MORE EXCUSES NOT TO REACH OUT AND SUPPORT SOMEONE YOU KNOW :::::

 
 

 
 

Hello Friends,

Burt O'Leary here with some information you can really
use. On another thread there was some talk about
the man possessed with demons. Jesus cast these
out of the man, and they entered a herd of swine which
ran quickly into the sea and were drowned.

Two things happened that day. But rarely is the second thing mentioned, though very important. This man indeed was cured, but the second thing that happened that day was the creation of deviled ham. Yes, friends, most people don't realize that many people that day sat down and had deviled ham sandwiches as they discussed the things which had happened. There was plenty of deviled ham to go around.

                 Deviled Ham Spread    by Burt O'Leary

4 cups of canned deviled ham
2 Tbsp of pickled relish, drained
2 Tbsp of chopped onions
4 Tbsp Sour cream

Mix thouroughly and refrigerate. Serve with crackers.

This recipe and many, many others my friends, can be found in my new book "Recipes from the Good Book", which retails for only $22.95 plus $8.95 for shipping and handling. This is but a pittance friends when you think of the joy you will receive using my recipes. If you like the Deviled ham recipe, you'll love my Angel food cake recipe even more! The Bible is full of recipes my friends, and I've found them and placed them in this blessed book just for you. You will enjoy the book or my name isn't Burt O'Leary!!  Order your copy today.

Burt O'Leary Enterprises
2222 4th street south
Barstow, Ca, 91123

Please send Cashier's check or Money order only. No personal checks.  Thank You.

I can't believe you Burt! ::)

  You're still trying to push your silly recipe book after the lawsuit regarding "Burt's Barley Cakes!" (Ezekiel 4:12)

  For those interested you can still get Burt's Bible Diet Plan on Ebay!

Just popped in for your protection,

Tony

Thank you Tony for your concern. The lawsuit for "Burt's Barley cakes" was dropped after we came up with a recipe called "Ezekiel's Egg salad sandwiches". They are both delicious and wholesome. The recipe can be found on page 49 of my book, right before the recipe for Ezra's Ecclairs. The book retails for just $25.95 plus $9.50 for shipping and handling. It truly is a delightful book and worth every penny. Credit card orders will be accepted(with a small handling fee), although cash or Money order guarantees a much swifter delivery of the book.
Thanks again Tony for your concern, but as I said,  that lawsuit has been dropped, and the other pending ones are sure to be dropped also.  Remember friends, I guarantee you'll love this book or my name isn't Burt O'Leary.

Dear brother Burt,

I have a can of Freedom Trail low-carb manna.  Do you have any recipe ideas?  Remember, food selection is limited out in the desert.

     Just for your general information:  There is a week's supply of fiber for a family of four in the Sunday Food Section of The New York Times.  Digest that, because I guarantee you won't find that little revelation in O'Leary's book, which  probably costs $29.95 plus S&H by now.  You can get a used copy on Ebay for $2 & change, and it won't be very used because nobody likes it well enough to open it more than once.  Burt's book does make a great paperweight to keep your real recipes in place while you cook.

     You may think I'm being unduly harsh toward Burt O'Leary, but he won't tell you about my lawsuit against him (which, incidentally, will not be dropped) because my whole family became violently ill after preparing and consuming his recipe for "Kosher Pork Rinds!"

     Mark my words, the man will fry in his own fat for making money from selling "bible recipes" while claiming exempt status from income taxes under the guise of being a "non-prophet" organization!

angry al >:(

Dave---

That Freedom Trail low-carb manna is good stuff. The problem is, it only has a shelf-life of one day. If you save some for the next day you'll find it has gone bad. I don't have a recipe--just mix some with yogurt and down it fast.

Mr. Hartman,

Your frivolous lawsuit has come to my attention. If your family became ill eating the Kosher pork rinds that is not my fault. You obviously did not follow the recipe instructions. But I'd like to send my lawyer to see you personally regarding the matter. Her name is Beulah Fillmore. She weighs over 400 lbs, has a short temper, and speaks quite loudly.

She recently visited another one of my detractors, who also had a frivolous lawsuit which has since been dropped. I have not heard from him for some time now. But I guess when you are in the hospital with two broken arms it's a little hard to use the telephone or write a letter. I will be sending her over to discuss your little lawsuit very soon.

Best regards, Burt O'Leary

O'Leary,

     You are not a nice man, and you are digging your own pit.  Your thinly veiled on-line threat is now a part of my permanent record regarding this case, and is in the hands of my own capable attorney, Susan Wynns.

     You may send your pseudo-sumo-lawyer over here whenever you wish.  I hold seventh degree black belts in aikido, akimbo, akita, tempura, and sashimi, and I am not afraid of what man (or woman) may try do to me.

     Your heavy-handed tactics will destroy you, sir-- what goes around comes around.  Don't be surprised if the teamsters strike and leave you stuck with a warehouse full of your horrid $35 (+ S&H) cookbooks that you are unable to ship.

     I am advised by legal counsel to have no further communication with you prior to appearing in court.  Be advised that any attempt on your part to respond to this notice will be in violation of the restraining order secured today by Susan Wynns and her able paralegal aide Ms. Givings.

al Hartman,
nobody's patsy  >:(

ATTN: Ms. Beulah Fillmore
CC:  Alan Hartman


Ms. Fillmore,

As previously discussed, please proceed to the Ohio address I have given you for Mr. Hartman. Please try
to persuade him of the frivolity of his case. Perhaps when he sees your 400 pound body and hears your voice he'll change his mind. if not, regarding the case, you'll just have to sit on him, I mean, on it, for a while and wait it out. I am wiring you money for the plane fair today. Good luck Beulah and God bless.

--Burt

Dear brother Burt,

I have perfected several presentations of the Freedom Trail low-carb manna.  I am sure many creative housepersons would be interested as they entertain family and friends.

I created a Southwest cactus look, a formal dining with friends display, and a special Superbowl Sunday grab-a-snack.

They pretty much all taste the same as we lack any other food ingredience out here.

Would you be interested in including these in future editions of your cookbook?

Thanks.

Dave---

I'd be happy to use your recipes in my next book. If you don't mind, I'd like to send my lawyer, Beulah Fillmore, over to take a look at the recipes, and to go over percentages and royalty rights. I'm sure after speaking with her we can come to an amicable and fair agreement as to what you will receive for using your recipes in my next book.  Just E-mail me your address and perhaps she can stop by after taking care of, I mean, after visiting with Mr. Hartman in Ohio.

sincerely,  Burt

Burt is back!!! ;D

  Allrightie then!

  Burt, you are still living in Barstow?  I remember your book that was so helpful to me that described how to make checking out at the grocery store so much quicker!  Possibly your recipe book can accomplish the same goal by creating a socially unacceptable result? :P

  Burt is the go-to-guy when it comes to "info. you can use" and I heartily endorse his helpful books (Burt please send your check to the same address as in the past--thanks).

  I must object to Al using my name without permission in his sentence "Mark my words" and will be suing him for the unauthorized use of my name, and so will Major League Baseball!  

  PS Burt:  I have an excellent recipe for Duck Soup, and though I can't think of a Biblical justification for including it in your recipe book at present, I will be meeting with GG soon to discover new insights (as in mans creation on the 7th day) so that it can be included.

              Keep up the good work and God bless Barstow!

                                                        Mark C.

My Dear Brother Campbell,

     Apparently you and Major League Baseball are unaware of or have forgotten the landmark case of Waders v Rowboats, in which the highest court in the land decided that "Prior to its employment as a given name by any person presently living, the word 'mark' existed in uses such as watermark, landmark, markdown, marker, marketplace, undoubtably serving even earlier as the word descriptive of the sound made by a dog with a cleft palate, thereby rendering all modern claims of unauthorized use of the name 'Mark' frivolous, null and void."

     I question your endorsement of the nefarious Burt O'Leary and his endeavors.  Anyone who has read his formula for "Moses' Stone Soup" or partaken of his recipe for split lobster tail ("Parting of the Red Seafood") recognizes that the man is an utter quack.  Is that what moves you to offer him your duck soup?  For shame!  I will write my recipes on public walls before I will commit them into the hands of that greedy man.  Be advised that he has been disciplined with excommunication from the  prestigious "Organization, Culinary Writers, Artists and Publishers" (O, CWAP).   I tell you, he deserves to simmer in his own juices, and his flunkie Fillmore with him (If someone can find a container large enough)!

     Well, y'all have a nice day now! :)

al

I'd be very interested in that duck soup recipe Mark. I'll bet it's great served very hot with quackers. I am quickly compiling another recipe book. During a recent archaeological dig in Nineveh they found a very unusual recipe I am including in the book. It is a recipe penned by Jonah himself for "Whale Liver Almondine". He becamse quite familiar with inner workings of whales as you well know and apparently penned this recipe the night before prophesying at Nineveh. There is also a recipe on the same stone for "Worm and Gourd pancakes". I hope to include it also. I'll let you know when it goes to print.

Burt

   


Joe,

     What spell does that charlatan Burt o'Leary hold over you that you let him post on your personal BB account?  If you need some help extricating yourself from his slimy clutches, you just let me know.  I had hoped to recruit Mark Campbell in this pursuit, also, but Burt seems to have him mesmerized as well.  I suspect that O'Leary may be threatening to expose that Mark was not really one of the original "Campbell's Kids" pictured on the soup cans, as so many believe him to be.  (I suppose they think that because of the souped-up truck he drives.)

     I have to go now-- there's a very large, intimidating-looking woman trying to knock my front door down, and my dogs are going crazy.  I haven't fed them for days in anticipation of her arrival...  Now, if I can just spray her with this liver paste before she can reach me with that hockey stick...

al

ATTN: BURT O'LEARY

Dear Mr. O'Leary,

I arrived in Ohio yesterday and proceeded to Mr.
Hartman's house. I got past the yapping pooches,
and Mr. Hartman and I began our "conversation"
about his pending lawsuit.

At the end of our discussion I made a quick phone
call for Mr. Hartman, because he needed a ride. I
waved as they drove away, and think Mr. Hartman
may have been a bit surprised, as he has never seen
the inside of an ambulance before.

I then went and helped myself to Mr. Hartman's refrigerator, because I was quite hungry after our
meeting. Being a 400 pound woman, I do indeed consume a lot, so Mr. Hartman will have to do some shopping after he gets home from his hospital visit.

I am now in the airport, ready to board a plane to meet
Dave Sable in the desert to discuss his recipes, and work out
the financial aspects of using them in your book. Thank you for employing me as your lawyer Mr. O'Leary, because I just love to travel.

sincerely, Beulah Fillmore

My Dear, Dear Beulah,

Have you ever been to South Africa?

I can arrange an all expenses paid trip-of-a-lifetime for you!

Skip the recipe trip. I'm buying out Jewel Food Stores so you will be Filledwell for the rest of your life.



 ;)  :)

South Africa huh? Moonflower, by any chance could I get your address? After I visit with Dave Sable perhaps I could stop by and we could have a little chat.

best regards,  Beulah

     Does anyone out there know how to get in touch with Joe Sperling?  Burt O'Leary & his band of thugs seem to have taken over Joe's BB account and are using it (& Joe's good name) to foist their schemes upon the unsuspecting public.  This must be stopped.  (Frankly, I wonder if Brian isn't sleeping at the switch, not to realize what is transpiring on his watch)

     The ruckus at my door finally stopped, probably because I had removed my name & address numerals from the front of the house & the mailbox, & her Hulkship wasn't sure she had the right place.  About 20 minutes later, the street was filled with emergency vehicles, all with lights flashing & sirens wailing.  They were focused on the house at 1695 (my street # is 1659).  Seems my neighbor of three-doors-down, Alvin Hamstrung, suffered a B&E, followed by a violent & severe A&B.

     The first officers on the scene found Alvin's two dogs hung up neatly on the hall coat tree (not an easy task with a Doberman & an English Mastiff).  The EMTs found Alvin alive, but had to bring him out of his house in a body bag, just to keep from losing any essential parts.  The hospital expects him to make a full recovery, but they refuse to speculate on what year.

     The police report is vague regarding a motive for the attack.  Appartently the only things missing from Alvin's house were all the food from his refrigerator and his entire collection of "Bloodsport" DVDs.  An APB has been put out on a woman roughly matching the description of Orlando Pace, but with a deeper voice & more facial hair.

     I was able to visit Alvin at the hospital & encourage him, not that he needed it much.  Alvin is the quintessential optimist.  It's hard to understand him through all the bandages & with his jaws wired shut, but I'm pretty sure he said something like, "It's OK 'cause I really like milkshakes."  I promised Alvin I'd care for his dogs until he comes home, and that has turned out to be practically no chore at all:  They refuse to eat, and have only come out from under the porch once to relieve themselves (late at night when no one was around).

     Whoever reads this post:  If you know how to reach Joe Sperling, please alert him to what is being done in his name, and if you can contact Dave Sable, Mark Campbell and/or moonflower2, warn them of the danger they are in & tell them to arm themselves, flee and hide.  Burt O'Leary will apparently stop at nothing in his mad quest to populate the world with his $49.95 (+S&H) cookbook, even if no one is left alive to read it!

Well, y'all keep smilin',
al

My Dear, Dear Beulah,

Things are really looking up.

In spite of the horendous storms that passed through last night, I was still able to book a flight to So. Africa for you. You'll be leaving from O'hare (see my PM for flight details).

For each set of fingerprints that match the name and fingerprints and address on the list that I will be sending you, you will receive a $200.00 coupon from Jewel.  

After you have completed your mission, and the mass grave is photographed with the before and after pictures of the previously finger-printed individuals sent as an attachment, you will be given 49% of the stock in Jewel Food Stores.

Don't fool around with that recipe book, Beulah. It ain't worth the trouble. You can put yourself to better use.

I think that So. Africa has really neat zoo animals that you can see! And they aren't even in cages!! Maybe you can catch one and make it your pet, to assist you in your endeavors. You can even give it a name.

The character of Beulah Fillmore was played by Shelley Winters. Beulah was entirely comical in nature, and perhaps, should have been named Winifred instead, to avoid confusion.

She was a quick tempered lawyer, sent forth by Burt to "settle his accounts". Despite her temper, she would never be one to go to South Africa(and why South Africa of all places???) and knock off people on some "hit list"-- create mass graves(Good Lord!!), simply to get coupons from Jewel Foods(whoever that is---I haven't the foggiest).

Actually, Beulah spouts off a lot, but really wouldn't hurt a fly--- well, maybe a fly who had a lawsuit against Burt, but most likely not. But I have asked Burt to stop using my ID on the BB for a while, and not to "sick" his hefty lawyer on anyone, anytime soon.

take care,  Joe

You mean you aren't real??!!

But I don't remember Shelley having facial hair...........what's really going on here??

But you said that "Beulah" liked to travel! And I figured "Beulah" sounded like a real thug
 who could be bribed with food, so I thought, shazam!, she could take care of all the thugs
 over there who are getting away with murder and worse. Presently, they have a little
corner on the market for disgusting atrocities. The problem in So Africa is not an ethnic issue.
I wasn't bringing ethnicity into anything, just (as I mentioned in a previous post) just identifying
an area that is having a particular problem.

Boy, you really had me fooled there!!

You also must be from another planet if you don't know what Jewel Food Stores are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry if I misunderstood your sense of humor Moonflower--the mention of South Africa and the
mass grave threw me for a loop.  I really have never
seen a Jewel Food store---Is it an east coast or Canadian thing maybe?  And yes Shelley Winters does have facial hair--she is now a bearded lady in the circus.

--Joe

     I think it's time that Joe, moonflower, Arthur & I meet at a Six-Flags amusement park to eat tons of cotton candy & caramel apples and ride roller coasters until we barf!!! :o ::) :P  Mark Campbell should come along to be our designated driver  8) to get us back home after the great cookie toss...

al ;)

Al----

That sounds like a great plan!! ;D

take care,  Joe

I can get discounted (7.00 off) tickets at work.  
I'll never turn down cotton candy or Taffy apples!  ;D

"Rylan"

Anyone know who this crackpot is?

Ben Hill.

Is that a Benny Hinn wannabee?

 :D Good Morning: August 6th a chilly sunny summer day here in beautiful Arnprior.

I read this article on my Yahoo News a few moments ago.

It is information I am sharing with you.

Have a GIDDAY.
LENORE


Canada - Canadian Press
 
 
Churches say they'd close doors to refugees if appeal process worked

Wed Aug 4, 5:44 PM ET  

STEPHANIE LEVITZ

TORONTO (CP) - Canada's churches would be more willing to close their doors to refugees if the system that forces them to seek sanctuary in the first place wasn't so flawed, religious leaders said Wednesday.

   

A host of social activists and church leaders gathered for a news conference to respond to Immigration Minister Judy Sgro's demand last week that churches cease the time-honoured tradition of harbouring failed refugee claimants.


But the problem of sanctuary is a symptom of a severely limited appeals process that leaves those facing deportation with no other choice, said Mary Corkery, executive director of KAIROS: Canadian Ecumenical Justice Initiative.


"The churches and refugee activists, they don't want sanctuary to continue," Corkery said. "We want to want to put in place something to end the need for refugees to seek sanctuary."


Church leaders want to see Parliament enact an amendment to the Immigrant and Refugee Protection Act, passed in 2002, which would institute a merit-based appeal system for failed refugee claimants.


Currently, the law only allows for appeals in the event of process-related errors.


Corkery said that when the amendment was passed two years ago, then-immigration minister Denis Coderre asked for at least a year to clear a huge backlog of cases before instituting a new appeal process.


The refugee board currently has just under 30,000 cases, down from about 53,000 at the end of 2002, but the appeal mechanism still isn't in place.


Derik Hodgson, a spokesman for Sgro's office, said Wednesday that not only is there still a backlog of cases, but the minister is planning an overhaul of the entire immigration and refugee process.


"The implementation of an appeal-based system on merit has to be considered within the context of the entire system," Hodgson said.


"The whole goal is to improve efficiency and enable Canada to provide better protection, so there is no point in doing it piecemeal."


Sgro, who has said she wants to streamline the existing appeals process because she believes claimants have too many avenues of appeal, is planning a meeting with church leaders for the week of Sept. 13, Hodgson said.


But Corkery said churches haven't heard anything from the minister since she first broached the issue in an interview with The Canadian Press last month.


"It's an eerie silence."


In a July 28 letter to Sgro, Nick Summers, president of the Canadian Council for Refugees, said his group would welcome a meeting between the minister and church leaders.


But Sgro's recommendation to churches that they alert her when confronted with specific cases simply wouldn't work, Summers warned.


"Case-by-case interventions will not be adequate," he wrote. "This is particularly true since there are many refugee claimants who have been rejected in error who are not in sanctuary. They also need a solution."

   



Refugee advocates and clergy were alarmed four months ago when 10 police officers in Quebec City stormed Eglise Unie St. Pierre and took away 35-year-old Mohamed Cherfi, who had taken refuge in the church basement.

Cherfi, who faced deportation to his homeland of Algeria, was arrested for allegedly violating bail conditions imposed following his participation in a demonstration. He was then promptly turned over to immigration officials.




 

 :)Since it is past Midnight:

I WISH EVERY ONE A HAPPY LORD'S DAY TODAY.
MAY YOU GET THE FILLING OF THE HOLY SPIRIT AS YOU FEED UPON THE WORD OF GOD.

Here is some web site's I think you may find.

INSPIRING:

www.lifetalk.net/2ndcoming/ee.html


FUNNY:

www.funklix.com/WannaShout/You_Make_Me_Wanna_Shout.swf


CHECK THESE OUT.

 :D hELLO EVERYONE THOUGHT i WOULD PUT IN SOME LIGHTHEARTNESS FOR YOU TO ENJOY.

A good chess player
 A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. "I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."

"Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."

------------------------------
Three very tough mice
 Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.

The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"

The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!"

Then the third rat gets up and says, "Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat."

=========================
Steven Wright on dogs
 The other day, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

I had a dog once. I spilled spot remover on him, and now he's gone.

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... "Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.

==============================================
Worries about mad cow disease
 There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.

The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."

The other cow replies, "I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks
==============

NOVEMBER 11

Today is REMEMBRANCE DAY here in Canada
in the US calls it VETERANS DAY

It is a day set aside to honour those who gave their lives for our freedom.
Usually here in Canada it is WWI WWII and KOREAN WAR that is commemorated for the sacrifice of lives through war.

In the US it is Vietnam, and in the Gulf.

Today, we had to invited guests from the local Legion, at our Program CMHC. These gentleman service in our army during WWII, over in France.
One of the Gentleman was part of the action during D-Day Normandey.
Some of the stories these men were able to share, some are still too painful to share, except through tears of eyes that are still seeing battle field , despite 60 years has past.
They joined us for lunch. One man , was decorated by King George VI himself for bravery.
So at 11 am tomorrow morning , our two minutes of silence in prayerful gratitude for the lives that served, lives that were lost, so we here can have the lives that we live in relative freedom.
Joining you at 11 am.

Special thanks to Veterans on the board - Tom Maddox and Al Hartman are two that I think of.  I'm sure there are others.  Thanks for your sacrifice in what you did for our country.

I was draftable age when I was in the Assembly.  Like just about every period I can think of, there was the threat of a draft though for me it never happened.  (I am too young for the Vietnam draft and too old for the selective service that began with those born in and after 1960).

I was afraid, not about joining the military, but because I was led to believe that Christians should not go to war.  When I talked with Tim Geftakys, he said, "The Bible says 'Thou shalt not murder'.  How can you go to war?"

So, as happened alot in the Assembly, I thought I was going to have to be a concientious objector even when my conscience didn't really object.  But, I didn't have any tools to refute Tim's argument.

Well, the draft never came and I didn't have to face that issue, but a light bulb went on when I was driving around one day with Bryson Bonner.   I mentioned to him about Tim's argument and he responded matter-of-factly, "if no one joined the military, we wouldn't have a country."

Duh.  Why didn't I think of that?

Later, when I learned more about Bible interpretation and context, I realized that the "Thou Shalt not murder" was a judicial mandate against pre-meditated murder.  Jesus expanded it to hatred in our hearts against an individual.  But, if this law was forbidding people from engaging in the military, much of the Bible simply would not make any sense.  (God to Joshua:  Go to Jericho and do some relief work.)

I have never been a veteran so I can truly thank those who were for doing what I didn't have to.

     Tom Maddux and I served in the US Air Force during the early 1960s.  I think we are both grateful that, even though the buildup of US military "advisers" in Viet Nam was in progress during our enlistments, neither of us had to go there.  Also, we were honorably discharged from the service prior to our assembly days, so we didn't have to deal personally with the issue Dave describes in his post.

---

    A point concerning American history that may interest some:  

     Men fought in the War Between the States, commonly called the American Civil War (1861-1865), who were personally acquainted with veterans of the American Revolution.  

     When Tom and I were kids, living Civil War veterans from both north and south were honored as they rode in annual parades.  I did not personally meet any of them, but I was aware of them, and saw their photos in the newspapers.  

     You know Tom and me, which means that only two intermediate generations link you to the brave citizens who won America's independence.

     Of course, Tom and I are extremely old...

al

 :)February 19th

Hi: I couldnt find my post sharing emails.  I looked at all the postings.

Well I wanted to share this email I received today.
It is a test of memory or teachings.

Lenore


History Exam... Everyone over 50 should have a pretty easy time at this
exam. If you are under 50 you can claim a handicap.

This is a History Exam for those who don't mind seeing how much they really
remember about what went on in their life. Get paper and pencil and number
from 1 to 20. Write the letter of each answer and score at the end. Then,
best of all, before you pass this test on, put your score in the subject
line!

1. In the 1940s, where were automobile headlight dimmer switches located? a.
On the floor shift knob b. On the floor board, to the left of the clutch c.
Next to the horn

2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it. For what was
it used? a. Capture lightning bugs b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing c.
Large salt shaker

3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters? a. Cows got
cold and wouldn't produce milk b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog
sled c. Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors and milk would
freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.

4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance? a. Blackjack
b. Gin c. Craps!

5. What method did women use to look as if they were wearing stockings when
none were available due to rationing during W.W.II? a. Suntan b. Leg
painting c. Wearing slacks

6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't
tell whether it was coming or going? a. Studebaker b. Nash Metro c. Tucker

7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid? a. Strips of dried peanut
butter b. Chocolate licorice bars c. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored
sugar water inside

8. How was Butch wax used? a. To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up
b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing c. On the wheels of roller
skates to prevent rust

9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to
your shoes? a. With clamps, tightened by a skate key b. Woven straps that
crossed the foot c. Long pieces of twine

10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision? a.
Consider all the facts b. Ask Mom c. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo

11. What was the most dreaded disease in the 1940's? a. Smallpox b. AIDS c.
Polio

12. "I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey" a. SUV b. Taxi c
Streetcar

13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pet pony? a. Old Blue b. Paint
c. Macaroni

14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill? a. Part of the game of hide and seek b.
What you did when your Mom called you in to do chores c. Hiding under your
desk, and covering your head with your arms in an A-bomb drill.

15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show? a.
Princess Summerfallwinterspring b. Princess Sacajewea c. Princess Moonshadow

16. What did all the really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were
handed out in school? a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was
believed to get you high b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail
theirs out the window c. Wrote another pupil's name on the top, to avoid
their failure

17. Why did your Mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases?
a. To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs, which tasted like
bubble gum b. They could be put in special books and redeemed for various
household items c. They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on
tattoos

18. Praise the Lord, and pass the _________? a. Meatballs b. Dames c.
Ammunition

19. What was the name of the singing group that made the song "Cabdriver" a
hit? a The Ink Spots b. The Supremes c. The Esquires

20. Who left his heart in San Francisco? a Tony Bennett b. Xavier Cugat c.
George Gershwin

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
ANSWERS

1. b) On the floor, to the left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in
Europe, took till the late '60s to catch on.

2. b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?

3. c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the bottle
top.

4. a) Blackjack Gum.

5. b) Special makeup was applied, followed by drawing a seam down the back
of the leg with eyebrow pencil.

6. a) 1946 Studebaker.

7. c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.

8. a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.

9. a) With clamps, tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a shoestring
around your neck.

10. c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.

11. c) Polio. In beginning of August, swimming pools were closed, movies and
other public gathering places were closed to try to  prevent spread of the
disease.

12. b) Taxi. Better be ready by half-past eight!

13. c) Ma caroni.

14. c) Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your arms in an
A-bomb drill.

15. a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She was another puppet.

16. a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get a high.

17. b) Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for household items
at the Green Stamp store.

18. c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.

19. a) The widely famous 50's group: The Inkspots.

20. a) Tony Bennett, and he sounds just as good today..

----------------------------------------------------------------------
SCORING

17- 20 correct: You are older than dirt, and obviously gifted with mental
abilities. Now if you could only find your glasses. Definitely someone who
should share their wisdom!

12 -16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but your mind is getting keen.

0 -11 correct: You are not old enough to share the wisdom of your
experiences.

I must have received this quiz via e-mail at least a half-dozen times.  I know all the answers because the questions concern the era in which I grew up.  If you want to pass it on to your friends, please make one correction:

The answer to question #19 is WRONG-- none of those singing groups was responsible for the success of "Cab Driver."  The correct answer is The Mills Brothers.  Don't take my word for it-- look it up.  I know-- I own the recording.

 ;)al

 :)February 24

 
 


>Subject: To all of the wonderful women that I know.
>
>
>This is just a reminder why God created us..... enjoy...please don't
>shoot me if you start to cry while reading...

>
>Woman:  How true is this??
>
>By the time the Lord made woman, he was into
>his sixth day of working overtime.
>An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending
>so much time on this one?"
>And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my
>spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable,
>but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all
>replaceable and able to run on diet coke and
>leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at
>one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a
>scraped knee to a broken heart-and she will do
>everything with only two hands."
>
>The angel was astounded at the requirements.
>"Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the
>standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait
>until tomorrow to finish."
>
>But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so
>close to finishing this creation that is so close to
>my own heart. She already heals herself when she is
>sick AND can work 18 hour days."
>
>The angel moved closer and touched the
>woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord."
>
>"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have
>also made her tough. You have no idea what she can
>endure or accomplish."
>
>"Will she be able to think?", asked the
>angel.
>
>The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able
>to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."
>
>The angel then noticed something, and
>reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it
>looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you
>that you were trying to put too much into this one."
>
>"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected,
>"that's a tear!"
>
>"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
>
>The Lord said, "The tear is her way of
>expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her
>disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief
>and her pride."
>
>The angel was impressed. "You are a genius,
>Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly
>amazing."
>
>And she is! Women have strengths that amaze
>men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but
>they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when
>they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry.
>They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are
>nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They
>stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an
>answer when they believe there is a better solution.
>They go without so their family can have. They go to
>the doctor with a frightened friend. They love
>unconditionally. They cry when their children excel
>and cheer when their friends get awards. They are
>happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their
>hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the
>loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they
>think there is no strength left.
>
>They know that a hug and a kiss can help to
>heal a broken heart. Women come in all sizes, in all
>colors and shapes. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or
>e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The
>heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning!
>They bring joy and hope. They have compassion and
>ideals. They give moral support to their family and
>friends. Women have vital things to say and
>everything to give.
>
>HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
>
>IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH!
>

 
 
 
 

 :)March 7th

See if you Send this one Back

A farmer had some puppies he needed to
sell. He painted a  sign advertising
the 4 pups. And set about nailing it
to a post on  the edge of his yard. As
he was driving the last nail into the
post, he felt a tug on his overalls.
He looked down into the eyes of  a
little  boy.  "Mister," he said, "I
want to buy one of your puppies."
> >
> >                               "Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed
the sweat of the back of his neck,
"These puppies come from fine parents
and cost a good deal of money."   The
boy dropped his head for a moment. Then
reaching deep into his pocket, he
pulled out a handful of change and held
 it up to the farmer.  "I've got
thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to
take a look?"
> >
> >                               "Sure," said the farmer. And with that
he let out a whistle.  "Here, Dolly!"
he called. Out from the doghouse and
down the ramp ran Dolly followed by
four little balls of fur.    The little
boy pressed his face against the chain
link fence.   His eyes danced with
delight. As the dogs made their way to
the fence, the little boy noticed
something else stirring inside the
doghouse. Slowly another little ball
appeared, this one noticeably smaller.
Down the ramp it slid. Then in a
somewhat awkward manner, the little pup
began hobbling toward the others, doing
its best to catch up....
> >
> >                               "I want that one," the little boy said,
pointing to the runt.  The  farmer
knelt down at the boy's side and said,
"Son, you don't want  that puppy. He
will never be able to run and  play
with you  like these other dogs would."
With that the little boy stepped back
from the fence, reached down, and began
rolling up one leg of his trousers.  In
doing so he revealed a steel brace
running down both sides of his leg
attaching itself to a specially made
shoe.  Looking back up at the farmer,
he said,  "You see sir, I don't run too
well myself, and he will need someone
who understands." With tears in his
eyes, the
farmer reached down and picked up the little pup. Holding it carefully he
handed it to the little boy.  "How much?" asked the little boy.  "No
charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."
> >
> >                               The world is full of people who need
someone who  understands.
> >
> >                               It's  National Friendship Week.
> >
> >                               Show your friends how much you care.
> >
> >                               Send this to everyone you consider a
FRIEND.
> >
> >                               If it comes back to you, then you'll

know you have a circle of friends.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A lovely Story

Subject: A lovely story with a message
>
>
>This was written by a Hospice of Metro Denver physician
>
>I just had one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and wanted to
>share it with my family and dearest friends:
>
>I was driving home from a meeting this evening about 5, stuck in traffic
>on Colorado Blvd., and the car started to choke and splutter and die -
>
>I barely managed to coast, fretting, into a gas station, glad only that I
>would not be blocking traffic and would have a somewhat warm spot to
>wait for the tow truck. It wouldn't even turn over. Before I could make
>the call, I saw a woman walking out of the "quickie mart" building, and
>it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a gas pump, so I
>got out to see if she was okay. When I got there, it looked more like
>she had been overcome by sobs than that she had fallen; she was ayoung
>woman who looked really haggard with dark circles under her eyes. She
>dropped something as I helped her up, and I picked it up to  give it to
>her.  It was a nickel.
>
>At that moment, everything came into focus for me: the crying woman,
>the ancient Suburban crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back (1 in
>a car seat), and the gas pump reading $4.95. I asked her if she was
>okay and if she needed help, and she just kept saying "I don't want my
>kids to see me crying," so we stood on the other side of the pump from
>her car. She said she was driving to California and that things were
>very hard for her right now.
>
>So I asked, "And you were praying?" That made her back away from me a
>little but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, "He heard
>you, and He sent me."
>
>I took out my card and swiped it through the card reader on the pump so
>she could fill up her car completely, and while it was fueling walked to
>the next door McDonald's and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift
>certificates for more, and a big cup of coffee. She gave the food to
>the kids in the car  who attacked it like wolves, and we stood by the
>pump eating fries and talking a little.  She told me her name, and that
>she lived in Kansas City.
>Her boyfriend left 2 months ago and she had not been able to make ends
>meet.
>She knew she wouldn't have money to pay rent Jan 1, and finally  in
>desperation had finally called her parents, with whom she had not
>spoken in about 5 years. They lived in California and said she could
>come live with them and try to get on her feet there. So she packed  up
>everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they were going  to
>California for Christmas, but not that they were going to live there.
>
>I gave her my gloves, a little hug and said a quick prayer with her  for
>safety on the road. As I was walking over to my car, she said, "So, are
>you like an angel or something?"  This definitely made me cry. I said,
>"Sweetie, at this time of year angels are really busy, so sometimes God
>uses regular people." It was so incredible to be a part of someone
>else's miracle. And of
>
>course, you guessed it, when I got in my car it started right away and
>got me home withno problem. I'll put it in the shop tomorrow to check,
>but I suspect the mechanic won't find anything wrong.
>
>Sometimes the angels fly close enough to you that you can hear the
>flutter of their wings...
>
>Psalms 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee
>He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."
>
>Instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless,
>especially for the months in 2005, and I picked you. This prayer is
powerful
>and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive.  There is no cost
>but a lot of rewards, let's continue to pray for one
>another. Here is the prayer:
>
>"Father, I ask You to bless my children, grandchildren, friends,
>relatives and email buddies reading this right now. Show them a new
>revelation of your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to
>their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your
peace and mercy.
>Where  there is self doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your
>grace,  In Jesus' precious name. Amen."
>
>I know I picked more than four and you can, too. When Satan is knocking
>at your door, simply say, "Jesus, could You please get that for me?"
>
>Being blessed is GOOD...being HIGHLY FAVORED is best! Don't settle!
>
>
>
>
> >
> >                           

April  12th

: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Subject: Life through the winshield ... please take the time to read and
reflect...and share this with others
Importance: High


This was written by a Hospice of Metro Denver physician


I just had one of the most amazing experiences of my life, and wanted to
share it with my family and dearest friends: I was driving home from a
meeting this evening about 5, stuck in traffic on Colorado Blvd., and the
car started to choke and splutter and die - I barely managed to coast,
cursing, into a gas station, glad only that I would not be blocking traffic
and would have a somewhat warm spot to wait for the tow truck. It wouldn't
even turn over.

Before I could make the call, I saw a woman walking out of the "quickie
mart" building, and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a
gas pump, so I got out to see if she was okay.

When I got there, it looked more like she had been overcome by sobs than
that she had fallen; she was a young woman who looked really haggard with
dark circles under her eyes. She dropped something as I helped her up, and I
picked it up to give it to her. It was a nickel.

At that moment, everything came into focus for me: the crying woman, the
ancient Suburban crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back
(1 in a car seat), and the gas pump reading $4.95. I asked her if she was
okay and if she needed help, and she just kept saying "I don't want my kids
to see me crying," so we stood on the other side of the pump from her car.

She said she was driving to California and that things were very hard for
her right now. So I asked, "And you were praying?" That made her back away
from me a little but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, "He
heard you, and He sent me."

I took out my card and swiped it through the card reader on the pump so she
could fill up her car completely, and while it was fueling walked to the
next door McDonald's and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift certificates
for more, and a big cup of coffee. She gave the food to the kids in the car
who attacked it like wolves, and we stood by the pump eating fries and
talking a little.

She told me her name, and that she lived in Kansas City. Her boyfriend left
2 months ago and she had not been able to make ends meet. She knew she
wouldn't have money to pay rent Jan 1, and finally in desperation had
finally called her parents, with whom she had not spoken in about
5 years. They lived in California and said she could come live with them and
try to get on her feet there.

So she packed up everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they
were going to California for Christmas, but not that they were going to live
there. I gave her my gloves, a little hug and said a quick prayer with her
for safety on the road.

As I was walking over to my car, she said, "So, are you like an angel or
something?"

This definitely made me cry. I said, "Sweetie, at this time of year angels
are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people."

It was so incredible to be a part of someone else's miracle. And of course,
you guessed it, when I got in my car it started right away and got me home
with no problem. I'll put it in the shop tomorrow to check, but I suspect
the mechanic won't find anything wrong.

Sometimes the angels fly close enough to you that you can hear the flutter
of their wings...Psalms 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall
sustain thee He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."

Instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless, especially
for the months in 2005, and I picked you. Please pass this to people you
want to be blessed.

This prayer is powerful and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive.
There is no cost but a lot of rewards, let's continue to pray for one
another.

Here is the prayer: "Father, I ask You to bless my children, grandchildren,
friends, relatives and email buddies reading this right now. Show them a new
revelation of your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to
their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace
and mercy. Where there is self doubt, release a renewed confidence through
Your grace, In Jesus' precious name. Amen."

I know I picked more than four and you can, too. When Satan is knocking at
your door, simply say, "Jesus, could You please get that for me?"

Live life looking through the windshield, not the rearview mirror.

My personal prayer for you:
~May the Almighty bless you and bestow upon you and yours, His bountiful
benevolence; may He always keep you in his safety.~

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

MAY 6

I WAS JUST CHECKING SOME OF MY EMAILS;

THE ENCLOSED IS QUITE CUTE AND HUMOUROUS.

On Feb 26, "Shirley Kelly" <shirl.kelly@rogers.com> wrote:
          Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

          When the house lights dimmed and the concert was about to begin,
          the mother returned to her seat and discovered that the child
          was missing.
          Suddenly, the curtains parted and spotlights focused on the
          impressive Steinway on stage.
          In horror, the mother saw her little boy sitting at the keyboard,
          innocently picking out "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."
          At that moment, the great piano master made his entrance, quickly
          moved to the piano, and whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't quit."
          "Keep playing."
          Then, leaning over, Paderewski reached down with his left hand
          and began filling in a bass part. Soon his right arm reached
          around to the other side of the child,and he added a running
          obbligato.
          Together, the old master and the young novice transformed what
          could have been a frightening situation into a wonderfully
          creative experience.
          The audience was  so mesmerized that they couldn't recall what
          else the great master played.
          Only the classic, " Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."
          Perhaps that's the way it is with God. What we can accomplish on
          our own is hardly noteworthy.
          We try our best, but the results aren't always graceful flowing
          music. However, with the hand of the Master, our life's work can
          truly be beautiful.
          The next time you set out to accomplish great feats,listen
          carefully. You may hear the voice of the Master, whispering in
          your ear, "Don't quit." "Keep playing."
          May you feel His arms around you and know that His hands are
there,
          helping you turn your feeble attempts into true masterpieces.
          Remember, God doesn't seem to call the equipped, rather, He equips
          the "called".
          Life is more accurately measured by the lives you touch than by
          the things you acquire. So touch someone by passing this little
          message along.
          May God bless you and be with you always!




Two bowling teams, one of all Newfies and one of all Nova Scotians
       chartered a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in
       Moncton.
       The NS team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the Newfie team rode
       on the top level.
       The NS team down below really whooped it up, having a great time,
       when one of them realized she hadn't heard anything from the Newfies
       upstairs. She decided to go up and investigate. When she reached the
       top, she found all the Newfies frozen in fear, staring straight-ahead
       at the road clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.
       The Nova Scotian asked, "What the heck's going on up here?   We're
       having a great time downstairs!"
       One of the Newfies looked up at her, swallowed hard and whispered,
       "YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER."




The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees
       about an urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed
       the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's
       whisper.
       "Hello."
       "Is your daddy home? " he asked.
       "Yes," whispered the small voice.
       "May I talk with him?"
       The child whispered, "No."
       Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked,
       "Is your Mommy there?"
       "Yes."
       "May I talk with her?"
       Again the small voice whispered, "No."
       Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message,
       the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
       "Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
       Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home,
       the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
       "No, he's busy", whispered the child.
       "Busy doing what?"
       "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered
       answer.
       Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like
       a Helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked,
       "What is that noise?"
       "A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.
       "What is going on there?" asked the boss, now truly alarmed.
       In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team
       just landed the hello-copper."
       Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated
       the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

       Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled
       giggle...

       "ME."

Lenore -

May God continure to bless and keep you in his arms! 

It's been quite a wihile since I've visited.  Can't even recall why I did tonight.  But He seems to know it was the right time ...

Your last two posts have really struck me - have hit a nerve, so to speak - have helped - much more than can be adequately stated in a humble post.  I know that this reply sounds trivial, but, trust me, it's not - definately not.  Not at where I am at, in so many places, right now. 

Thanks again, Lenore.  Many blessings to you and yours, as well as those who have reached out to me in the past, especially right now in my low place.

Please pray earnestly as I struggle right now.  Thanks

Sincerely,
Robb Middleton
robbmiddleton@yahoo.com

P.S.  Posted is a picture of my three boys; Joel (7 yo), Jordan (3 yo), and Jake (2 yo); taken last summer in my back yard.

Dear Rob:

Thank y ou so much for the encouraging words.
Then posting these emails, and encouragement, was worth posting.

Have a really Good Lord's Day.

Lenore

Happy Lord's Day to Everyone:

Hope in your area, that you are celebrating God in song, praise, worship and beauty.
Thankful for having a church home to go to, since many countries are not allow to gather together with in a building.


Something was on my heart this morning to share.

Since I am just learning as every Christian is learning the aspects of their walk with Jesus.

There some points on another thread I wanted to have my say on.

To keep silent and let God Correct:
I agree with this to a certain extend.
Silent doesnt mean no action.

It means prayer, praying with out ceasing, having a really heart to heart talk with God about a topic or someone. We have to remember that when we are praying, are we GIVING ORDERS OR ASKING FOR GUIDANCE.
Then are we willing to let the words be Show so and so the errors of their ways, is this request also directed at ourselves. Are we willing to be shown the errors of our own ways. Be willing to be shown them, accept them, and acknowledge them.
There is a hymn. SEND ME A REVIVAL BUT LET IT BEGIN WITH ME.
Continuing in the prayer, as we also willing to let God do the work, are we telling him how to do it. Are we willing to give God his own time and way to solve the problem, or do we want our own hands in the mix to solve the problem.

My prayer where there needs to correctiveness, let it begin with me.

Now I am still a student in God's classroom, after all

It only takes a moment to transformed by salvation, but it TAKES A LIFETIME TO BECOME A SAINT.


part 2:

With the Bible verses that is given out on these threads including mine.

Dont take what you see on the computer screen in front of you.  Looked them up for yourselves.  Look at the verses before the references, look at the verses after, in fact look at the whole chapter that it is coming from.
Look at a study Bible, or a commentary, see what the author of the commentary has to say about that verse.
If you have hand books, these educators can give you extra insight.
If you a priviledge to have Strong reference dictionary, which gives you the Greek and Hebrew of what the original meaning of the words.

Only way you can rely on the truth of the scriptures, is explore it for yourself, accept what others tell you only after you have verified it yourself.

Only God can give you peace of mind, for the truth He reveals to each and everyone of us.

Bible studies, pastor's sermons etc is great, but nothing replaces getting into the bowels of the scripture on your own. 

Thanks for listening.

Lenore

Something you may enjoy  Lenore
................................................


U.K. Couple Marks 80th Wedding Anniversary
LONDON (AP) - A British husband and wife revealed the secrets of the longest marriage of any living couple on Wednesday as they celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary - don't sleep on an argument, always share a kiss and hold hands before going to bed.

Percy Arrowsmith, 105, and his 100-year-old wife Florence, were married on June 1, 1925, after meeting at their local church in Hereford, western England, where he sang in the choir and she was a Sunday school teacher.

Queen Elizabeth II sent her congratulations to the Arrowsmiths, who celebrated their anniversary Wednesday with coffee and nibbles at home with family and friends.

``What a splendid achievement. I send you my warm congratulations and best wishes for your 80th wedding anniversary,'' the Queen wrote in a card to the couple.

The Arrowsmiths, who have three children, six grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren, claim the key to their long marriage is not to go to sleep on an argument. They say they always kiss each other and hold hands each night before going to bed.

``He can't settle down if I'm not holding his hand,'' Mrs. Arrowsmith was quoted as saying last month.

The couple's daughter Jane Woolley said her parents were both ``very perky.''

``She (Mrs. Arrowsmith) says she can't dance any longer but it feels good to have been married for 80 years. She says she can still have a drink,'' Woolley said.

Guinness World Records said the pair held records for the longest marriage for a living couple and the oldest aggregate age of a married couple.




TO START YOUR DAY WITH POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1. Open a new file in your PC.

2. Name it "Housework."

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you
   want to delete Housework permanently?"

6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button
   firmly....

7. Feel better?

This was send to me, thought you would enjoy it.

The Happiness Bank


>
>
>
> The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady,
> who is fully dressed
> each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair
> fashionably coiffed and makeup
> perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind,
> moved to a nursing
> home today.
>
> Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making
> the move necessary.
> After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of
> the nursing home,
> she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.
>
> As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I
> provided a visual
> description of her tiny room, including the eyelet
> sheets that had been
> hung on her window.
>
> "I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm  of an
> eight-year-old having
> just been presented with a new puppy.
>
> "Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room, just wait."
>
> "That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied.
> "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.
> Whether I like my
> room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is
> arranged... it's how I arrange my mind.
>
> I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make
> every morning when I
> wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed
> recounting the
> difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no
> longer work, or get
> out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
>
> Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll
> focus on the new day
> and all the happy memories I've stored away just for
> this time in my life.
>
> Old age is like a bank account: you withdraw from what
> you've put in.
>
> So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of
> happiness in the bank
> account of memories.
>
> Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am
> still depositing."
>
> Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
> 1. Free your heart from hatred.
> 2. Free your mind from worries.
> 3. Live simply.
> 4. Give more.
> 5. Expect less
>

I received these emails. Thought you would enjoy them.


Subject: Canadian??


  > THIS IS EXCELLENT!
  > (sent to me by a friend in Vancouver)
  > gill
  > ***********************************
  > I celebrate Christmas, but because it isn't celebrated by everyone,
we
can
  > no longer say Merry Christmas, now it has to be Season's Greetings.
It's
not
  > Christmas vacation, it's Winter Break. Isn't it amazing how this
winter
  > break ALWAYS occurs over the Christmas holiday?
  >
  > We've gone so far the other way, bent over backwards to not offend
anyone,
  > that I am now being offended. But it seems that no one has a
problem
with
  > that!
  >
  > This says it all! This is an editorial written by a Canadian
citizen,
  > published in a Canadian newspaper. He did quite a job; didn't he?
  >
  >
  > Read on, please!
  >
  > IMMIGRANTS, NOT CANADIANS, MUST ADAPT
  >
  > I'm tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending
some
  > individual or their culture. I'm not against immigration, nor do I
hold
a
  > grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to
Canada.
Our
  > population is almost entirely made up of descendants of immigrants.
However,
  > there are a few things that those who have recently come to our
country,
and
  > apparently some born here, need to understand.
  >
  > This idea of Canada being a multicultural community has served only
to
  > dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Canadians, we
have
our
  > own culture, our own society, our own language and our own
lifestyle.
This
  > culture has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and
  > victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom. We
speak
  > ENGLISH, not Spanish, Portuguese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese,
Russian, or
any
  > other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our
society,
learn
  > the language!
  >
  > We are, in the main, Christians, not Buddhists, Muslims or Islamic
because
  > Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this
nation
and
  > this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display
it on
the
  > walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you
consider
  > another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of
our
  > culture.
  >
  > If the Maple Leaf offends you, then you should seriously consider a
move
to
  > another part of this planet. We are happy with our culture and have
no
  > desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where
you
came
  > from. This is OUR COUNTRY, our land, and our lifestyle. Our
government
gives
  > every citizen the right to express his opinion and we will allow
you
every
  > opportunity to do so. But once you are done complaining, whining
and
griping
  > about our flag, our pledge, our national motto, or our way of life,
I
highly
  > encourage you take advantage of one other great Canadian freedom,
THE
RIGHT
  > TO LEAVE.
  >
  > If you agree-- pass this along; if you don't agree -- delete it!
  >
  > I figure if we all keep passing this to our friends it will also,
sooner
or
  > later get back to the complainers, let's all try.
  >
  >
 



...............
HOW TO STAY YOUNG


1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.

Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.



2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down. (keep this In mind if you are one of those grouches;)



3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain get idle.
"An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!



4. Enjoy the simple things.



5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and Lots of time with HIM/HER.


6. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is yourself. LIVE while you are alive.



7. Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.



8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
if it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.



9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.



10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

June 26th:

Received this email just wanted to share with you.

Hope you Enjoy it!


Subject: Grandpa



>A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime
>story.  From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach
>up and touch his wrinkled cheek.  Then she would touch  her own cheek ---
>then his again.
>
>Finally she spoke up, " Grandpa did God make you?"
>
>"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
>
>"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
>
>"Yes, indeed honey," he said, " God made you just a little while ago."
>
>Feeling their respective faces again she observed, " God's getting better
>at it, isn't he?"
>

July 2nd

Subject: TWO LETTER WORD - with many meanings


 


 
Lovers of the English language will enjoy this.....


There is a two letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two letter word, and that is "UP."

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.   And this UP is confusing:

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions .

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth.


When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP,
for now my time is UP, so.............

Time to shut UP.....!

Oh...one more thing:
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? -------

U P

 

JUNE 10TH


       Subject: Advice











      1. Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved.




      2. Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you
can carry easily.



      3. Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where
you've been, but also where you are going.



      4. Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is
to hold it too tightly, and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.



      5. Don't be afraid to encounter risk. It is by taking chances that we
learn how to be brave.



      6. Don't be afraid to admit you are less than perfect. It is this
fragile thread that binds us together.



      7. Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is
really over until the moment you stop trying.



      8. Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past
or future. By living our life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of
your life.



      9. Don't take for granted the closest things to your heart. Cling to
them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.



      10. Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you
know what is best for you.



      11. Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It
is because we are different that each of us is special.

JULY 15TH:

RECEIVED THESE EMAILS:

This explains why we forward jokes:


A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.


He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.


After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.



When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.


When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"


"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.


"Wow! Would you happen to have some
water?" the man asked.


"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up."


The man gestured, and the gate began to open.


"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.


"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."


The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.


After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.


As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.


"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"


"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."


"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.


"There should be a bowl by the pump."


They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.


The traveler filled the water bowl and set it down for the dog to lap while he quenched his thirst from the pump.


When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.


"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.


"This is Heaven," he answered.


"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."


"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."


"Doesn't it bother you for them to use your name like that?"


"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."


Soooo...


Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.


Maybe this will explain.


When we are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what we do? We forward jokes.


When we have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, we forward jokes.


When we have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, we forward jokes.


Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?


A forwarded joke.


So, next time you receive a forwarded joke, don't think that you've been sent just another thoughtless e-mail, but that you've been remembered today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.


You are welcome @ my water bowl anytime
 
 =====================================================================================================================


The Secret of a Happy Marriage
 
  A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared
everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets  from
each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of  her
closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her  about.
For all of these years, he had never  thought about the box, but one day the
little old woman got very sick and the  doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the  little old man took down the shoe box
and took it to his wife's  bedside.  She agreed that it was time that he should  know what was in the box. When he
opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a  stack of money totaling $25,000.
He asked her about the contents. "When  we were to be married," she
said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a  happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with  you, I should just keep quiet and
crochet a doll."
The little old man was so  moved, he had to fight back
tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She  had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving.  He almost burst with
happiness.  "Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but  what about all of this
money?  Where did it come  from?"
"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from  selling the  dolls."

-------------------------------------------------------------


A Prayer For Wives
Dear Lord, I pray for:
Wisdom  to understand my husband;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods;
Because  Lord, if I pray for Strength, 
I'll beat him to  death.                       
Amen!

 ===================================================

July 16th:

Not much action going on around here!!???


Received these emails today, from a wonderful lady here in town. She is a breast cancer surviver, not just once but twice.
She works tiredlessly for the Breast Cancer Support Group, and she also a volunteer driver for the Cancer Society, plus the Community Mental Health.
She is a nice lady, lives alone, has grown children, close to 70 years of age.

She send me these emails.

Lenore
............................>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


HOW TO STAY YOUNG


HOW TO STAY YOUNG


1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.

Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.



2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down. (keep this In mind if you are one of those grouches;)



3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain get idle.
"An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!



4. Enjoy the simple things.



5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and Lots of time with HIM/HER.


6. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is yourself. LIVE while you are alive.



7. Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.



8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
if it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.



9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.



10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.




 ==================================================================

A Beautiful Idea:

Today I will delete from my diary

 two days: yesterday and tomorrow

Yesterday was to learn

and tomorrow will be the consequence

of what I can do today.

           

Today I will face life
with the conviction that this day
will not ever return.



Today is the last opportunity
I have to live intensely,
as no one can assure me
 that I will see tomorrow's sunrise.

               

Today I will be brave enough
not to let any opportunity pass me by,
                my only alternative is to succeed.

     

Today I will invest

my most valuable resource:my time,

 in the most trascendental work:
 my life;

                         

I will spend each minute
 passionately to make
of today a different
 and unique day in my life.

                     

                     Today I will defy every obstacule
                     that appears on my way trusting
                      I will succeed.

                       
   Today I will resist

pesimism and will conquer

              the world with a smile,
              with the positive attitude

                of expecting always the best.


        Today I will make of every ordinary task
a sublime _expression,

           
    Today I will have my feet on the ground

understanding reality

 and the stars' gaze

  to invent my future.





Today I will take the time to be happy
and will leave my footprints and my presence

in the hearts of others.





           
Today,  I invite you to begin a new season

where we can dream

that everything we undertake is possible

and we fulfil it,

 with joy and dignity.

{SMILE}  Have a good day and a better one tomorrow! 

 
 
 
 
 
 

Hi: Received these emails , sharing them with you.

Lenore
July 25th


      These are so funny!!




              
            TRUISMS

            A good time to keep your mouth shut is when
            you're in deep water.



            Anyone who thinks old age is golden must not
            have had a very exciting youth.



            How come it takes so little time for a child
            who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager
            who wants to stay out all night?



            Business conventions are important because
            they demonstrate how many people a company
            can operate without.



            Why is it that at class reunions you feel
            younger than everyone else looks?



            Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.



            No one has more driving ambition than the
            boy who wants to buy a car



            There are no new sins....the old ones just get
            more publicity.



            There are worse things than getting a call for
            a wrong number at 4 AM.  It could be a right
            number.



            No one ever says "It's only a game" when
            their team is winning.



            How come we choose from just two people
            for president and 50 for Miss America?



            Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness
            will make him wag his tail.



            One of the quickest ways for a young man
            to fail in life is to work so hard the boss will
            think he's after his job



            If you don't have a sense of humor, you
            probably don't have any sense at all.



            Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.



            You know you're old when you reach down
            to get the wrinkles out of your  panty hose
            and realize you aren't wearing any.



            I've reached the age where the happy hour
            is a nap.

July 27th:

Received this email today.

It was too cute not to share.

To all my brothers and sisters in the Lord on this website.

I share this with you.

Please ENJOY!


.........................

Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug* *Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug* *Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug* *Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug* *Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug* *Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug* *Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug* *Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug* *Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug* *Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug**Hug*

You have just been hugged!!
That's right, there's no getting out of it this time!! This is the start of a full-scale Hug O' War! So hug everyone you know!!!


Hug your friends, your enemies, everyone!! With all the other forwards out there, I thought this would be a good one to start. The hug is my favorite sign of affection. It can mean so much, and so many things at the same time. It can be a sign of love, friendship, comfort or anything.

So here you go.
All I can say it will do is brighten someone's day. I mean, we all need a hug once in a while. So send this on if you'd like, to anyone who may need a hug, and (I hope you will) send it back to me!!!

Goodness knows, we could all REALLY use a hug sometimes.

That's for sure anytime is good for me.

                 

                 
 
 
 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 

 

 
 
 
 
 

 

 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

"Herro. My name Ping Ree. Today I plepale a velly dericious dish fol you. (holds a duck under
his right arm). Him looking velly dericious."

The Duck: "Hey look fella. I'm a little pressed for time here. I don't know how I wound
up on a cooking show, but I really must be leaving."

"Ha ha ha. Him say he "Plessed" for time. This make-a sense! Today I make a the plessed
duck. My favolite!! Yum."

The Duck: "Look dude, I'm not down for this, you're beginning to annoy me!!"

"Ha, Ha, Ha!!  Him say "down", and that is what they call the feathels on a duck. Him
velly funny duck. But him still looking velly, velly dericious"(begins to pour sesame seed
oil in a hot pan which immediately sizzles).

"Oh, look, him clying now. He velly aflaid I cook him. I feel velly solly fol the duck now. I
can not do it now. Maybe today instead I cook chicken."

The above sponsored by DUCKS UNLIMITED. Eat chicken instead.

Hello Friends,

Burt O'Leary here. A year ago I published a continuation on a series of books I had
which began with "Quote Isaiah One" and ended at "Quote Isaiah 39". I got the idea
for "Quote Isaiah 2" shortly after having written "Quote Isaiah One". And the ideas
kept coming until I had written 39 wonderful books about quoting Isaiah which literally
benefited thousands of people.

Well, I have just published another book called "Quote Scripture and get what you want,
anytime you want it". The concepts follow very closely with the Isaiah series of books, but I
believe the results garnered from using this book will be even greater than the other 39
books combined. Some copies were sent out to people and here are the astounding responses
we have received:

"Dear Burt,  The book you sent was wonderful, and has truly helped me in many ways. I took
the advice you gave in Chapter 2, while waiting in line at College to enroll for some courses I
wanted. The line was so long I thought it was going to take several hours, but then I started
using the method you introduced in your book. I began waving my arms frantically, and opened
my eyes widely with a scary type of gaze,  and began to quote from Thessalonians and the damn-
ation that awaits the unbelieving. People literally moved aside as though the Red Sea had parted,
and I was quickly to the front of the line in no time. I literally had the pick of any class I wanted,
and this because of the wonderful techniques taught in your book. Thanks so much Burt!!"

Wanda Erving
Houston, Texas

"Burt, you're a God-send. I went to the opening of a movie I wanted to see badly. But I got to the
theater too late, and the line I was in stretched around the corner of the block. I was literally forlorn
beyond belief. But then I remembered the technique you mentioned in Chapter 3 of your wonderful
book "Quote Scripture, and get what you want anytime you want it". I began tearing at my clothes
wildly, crying out in the deepest grief I could muster, and began quoting several verses about grief and despair. The people literally felt so sorry for me, that one after one, they let me pass ahead of them. Very soon I was very near the front of the line, and made it in for the first showing. Your book and it's techniques are literally a miracle for those afflicted such as I was. Thanks Burt."

Jim Passoni
Oakland, California

"Burt, Thanks so much. Being a Catholic, I have to go to confession. Sometimes the sessions with the priest are very time-consuming, and the list of my sins goes on and on. It can literally take over
45 minutes to get through with the session. But this last time I remembered Chapter 6 and the technique of being possessed. I began to scream and shake violently, and yelled out "You shall call no man "father" on earth!!!!". The priest gave me 15 "Our Fathers" and 12 "Hail Mary's" for my penance faster than you can say Jack Frost. Your techniques really work!! Thanks so much Mr. O'Leary!!"

Timothy Hill
Philadelphia, Pa.


Yes friends, you too can be helped beyond your wildest dreams also. Send for a copy of the book
today. Send $29.95($139.95 in Canada) to:

Burt O'Leary
2222 Winslow Place
Barstow, Ca., 91223
No personal checks please.

Thanks so much and may you be richly blessed.
---or my name isn't Burt O'Leary

I remember it quite clearly. It all started because of a gopher that had somehow wound up in our yard and was causing little hills of dirt to pile up here and there in the grass. I tried to gun the poor thing down with a BB gun. I tried to sneak up on it as it bobbed it's head out of the hole from time to time and whack it with a shovel. I even tried to poison it by putting arsenic soaked seeds into it's hole. Nothing seemed to work. And then I thought "Why not just dig and follow the tunnel it makes and corner it?"

So I started digging. I dug and dug and dug with no success. The tunnel just seemed to go on
and on and on, and strangely, it began to get larger in size. Soon I didn't need to dig at all as I was
able to stoop down and walk along, following the hole, which seemed to be getting deeper the
farther I got into it. I walked for miles and miles. Then, a very strange thing happened. I saw the
shadowy figure of a person up ahead. Soon I came upon the man walking in my direction. He said
"I rooking fol Los Angeles, You know how I find?" He was Chinese. I pointed back from where I had come and he nodded happily. He gave me a large container of Chicken Chow Mein he had with him, and it was my provision until I eventually came out of the tunnel in Beijing, China.

I never found out what happened to that gopher, but in many ways I am thankful because I had always wanted to visit China, but never had the funds. I was able to make the journey on my own, with the help of an old chinese gentleman, who is now a Producer of movies in Hollywood. He has a movie in the works entitled "The Tunnel". I can't wait to see what it is all about. Oh well, I just thought I'd share this with you, and ask that you be kind to gophers, because they really don't mean anyone any harm.

 ;D ;D ;D The best!

GA.com received the following feedback today. Just thought I'd pass it along in case someone wants to take up the suggestion.

"You folks might be interested in starting a discussion thread on http://www.factnet.org/cgi-bin/discus/discus.cgi.  We have a thread under "Robert A. Grove Ministries, Inc.", which has assemblies in SLO, Tulare, Sacramento, LA, Riverside, San Diego, Fort Worth, and four assemblies in Virginia; all from which we are refugees."

Alan Hemenway
Vancouver, WA
http://www.churchgrowth.cc/content_cult_RAG.htm

Hello Friends, (I'm using Mr. Sperling's computer as he is on vacation at this time, but he won't mind, as  he and I are very dear friends).

I haven't posted for a while as I have been engaged in several ministries and have not had the time. But last night I had a most magnificent vision! The Lord asked me "Burt, why are you driving that 2005 Lexus? It is almost 2007, why aren't you driving a bright and shiny red, brand new 2007 Ferrari?" I answered "I'm sorry for my lack of faith Lord".

He said "Burt, you know that words are powerful, and that whatever you say, whether positive or negative WILL happen to you don't you? Don't you believe that I give you the power to obtain wealth Burt? Read Deuteronomy,  and have faith and be not unbelieving.

"Burt, I want to bless the people on the Bulletin Board".  I answered "Yes Lord, but how will you bless them?"  The Lord said "I will give them the opportunity to sow their seed, by giving to your ministry. I WANT you to have that brand spankin' new red Ferrari Burt, and I want to bless my people with the opportunity to give at the same time. If they will have the faith of a mustard seed and give, I will open up the store houses of heaven upon them. You shall receive a red Ferrari, but they shall receive ten fold in return for whatever they are lead to give. And the more they give the more the storehouse of heaven will be opened".

Oh dear friends!!  Can you believe the blessedness of those words? God wants to bless you by giving you an opportunity to give. This ministry NEEDS new transportation. The Ferrari will not be used selfishly, but will be used to drive an ailing individual to the doctor's office once a week. The Lord's servant, yours truly, has been suffering from lumbago, and this car will get the Lord's servant to a doctor so that he may be cured, and once again serve the hundreds of people relying upon him for their daily bread.  Oh friends, help this ministry out will you? It is the Lord's will that you do. And he will bless you for it more than you can even know. He will do exceedingly abundantly above all that you can ask or think my dear friends.

Give today won't you? For a love offering of $50.00 I will give you a copy of my new book "The Abundant Life, God, you and your taxes", a most magnificent book, with wisdom and direction from the very throne itself regarding your finances. For a gift of $100.00 you will receive the book, and a personal "Reverend Burt O'Leary Miracle Prayer Cloth". I have prayed over these prayer cloths friends---my very annointing will be transferred to you when you use them. Don't miss out friends!!    For a gift of $1000.00 or more you will have the blessed opportunity to come and dine with me at "Edgar's Steak House" right here in Barstow California. What a blessed opportunity indeed friends!! Not many have the opportunity to actually dine with one of God's chosen servants.  Give now won't you friends?? Imagine the joy you'll feel as you see the Reverend O'Leary drive by towards the doctor's office in that spankin' new, red glistening Ferrari friends!! And imagine the blessings you will receive for that "seed" that you have sown!!!! You can't lose when you invest in the Kingdom of Heaven friends.  Thanks for listening friends, and God bless you as you give to this ministry.


Reverend Burt O'Leary
2222 Kingford Ave.
Barstow, Ca., 92233

No personal checks please.

The Lord will send you a special blessing if you get your donations to me before April 15th.

Thanks and God Bless you my dear friends,

Reverend Burt

Dear Reverend Burt,

You said:  "What a blessed opportunity indeed friends!! Not many have the opportunity to actually dine with one of God's chosen servants."

I dunno Burt.  I dined many times with another of God's specially annointed servants.  His name was George Geftakys. I gave him a whole lot of money too.

All I got out of it was abuse, rejection, depression, and financial hardship.

I am going to place a fleece on my back porch tonight. Well, its really a road-kill cat skin, but that's the best I can do on short notice.

If $1000 is waiting for me when I look out in the morning...I will know you are the real thing.

Otherwise, please hold your breath until the second coming.

Sincerely,

Tom M.

Brother Burt,

I got a raise and now I know why!! It's retroactive, so I can subsidise your leather seats!!

I'd rather not come and dine with you,though,  'cause I eat with my fingers and because I'd rather have a bobblehead doll. Can I have one of those instead of your "prayer" cloths? Someone else was selling prayer hankies a while back and they weren't really white and clean when I got them.

I think you are different, though. I can tell. You aren't like G. Geftakys, either. Did you every hear of him?
Wait a minute.......your name sounds kinda familiar......must be the Lord for sure......

Cool. Now I don't have to make a decision about my money.

P.S. Please don't send me the book, I've already read it. I was lucky to have found it at a resale shop in McCook, Nebraska for 1/2 the price.

Huh! I got a cookbook in the mail today from Kingsfluke, CA. I copied the entire book, so now I can sell it on ebay. If anyone is interested, let me know by tomorrow at 2:30 am, or it's going up for auction.

You don't want to miss these recipes, folks!

Dear Most Reverend Burt,

  I was deeply moved by your sincere post and asking for funds.  Most phony requests for money would have hidden the true agenda behind some kind of false plea to help the poor or advance the Gospel. 

  However, you come right out and let us know that you wish to spend the money on yourself!  This is a very effective technique and one I have seen work very nicely recently. 

   I was driving down an off-ramp when a poorly dressed old man was holding a sign up for all to read.  I expected to see the typical kind of message, you know, "WILL WORK FOR FOOD", or something like that.  I was surprised to read a completly a-typical message that read:  "I WON'T LIE, I NEED A DRINK."

   Talk about effective!  Why, people were throwing dollars left and right into his hat!

  This is why I applaud your methods as what we need is honest charlatans in this day and age--- vs. the old phony religious types who claim holiness while they are really trying to seduce young women in their flock.

  I know that GG might read this BB and I risk giving him some good ideas for getting back into his ol' scam via the above contrarian scheme.  However, since GG is unlikely to ever admit he was a scam artist it is possible he will change his methods to a slightly more upfront technique.

  I would even volunteer to select the freeway off-ramp (I know the perfect one in Barstow near a truck stop where there would be plenty of drug dealers and lot lizzards that GG would feel comfortable with) with a sign that could read:

                  I WON'T LIE, I JUST WANT YOUR MONEY AND YOUNG WOMEN

                    Sarcastically yours,    Mark C.

Thanks Friends!! I'm sure my good friend Mr. Sperling will not mind if I use his computer one more time before his expected return this evening.  Mark, I thank you for your praise regarding my sincerity, but I must protest, that this new red Ferrari sincerely is not for me, but for the service of the Lord. I have not, and will not think of myself when petitioning the Lord concerning this automobile, for it was the Lord himself who asked that I turn in my worn down 2005 Lexus for a new Ferrari. And truly friends, what witholds that the Lord's servant should not experience that new car smell? I am a servant of the King himself, and therefore should drive, dress and live like a Prince!! And I serve a very rich King at that, so why should I not be rich myself? It is all Biblical my friends--I am a child of the King and should be driving a spankin' brand new Red Ferrari---to settle for less would be to fail in representing the King I serve, and to fall far short of the sonship bestowed upon me.

I have been given gifts too dear friends---in fact, right now, as I write, the Lord has spoken to me in my spirit and said "there are 33 bulletin board readers suffering from stomach ailments."  Dear Friends, if you are one of these 33---right now, put your hands on the computer screen, right on top of this message, and be not faithless but believing, and God WILL heal your stomach problem!!! I transfer the very annointing given to me,  to YOU my dear friends!!!

And Friends, today, I have a very unique offer for you---a blessed opportunity you will find no where else. I have blessed many with the "Reverend Burt O'Leary Miracle Prayer Cloth"--the testimonies of healing have poured in!!!  The blind see, the lame walk, the cancer-ridden are now cancer free!!!  OH HALLELUJAH!!! The Lord has used these Prayer Cloths tremendously!!! And all of this blessing for a donation of $25.00 or more--that is truly amazing friends---a mere pittance for a renewed life of health and joy!!!

But today, I am offering something extremely unique and blessed beyond your wildest dreams!!!   We all know how expensive dental bills can be, don't we friends? A cavity is filled, or a tooth pulled, and we are faced with real debt that we cannot afford! Even with insurance, our pocket books suffer.  Today, I tell you friends, you'll never have to visit a dentist another day in your life!!! And this truly is the will of God!!! Remember friends, the Lord said he would "Heal ALL your diseases".  Let me ask you dear friends, is tooth decay a disease? Is it an affliction? In my book it is my dear friends!!! God says he will heal this affliction if we will only ask and believe.

Friends, write today for the "REVEREND BURT O'LEARY MIRACLE TOOTHPICK". These are not ordinary toothpicks friends!! These toothpicks have been prayed over by yours truly, the Lord's faithful servant, and the annointing I have received has literally been transferred to them!!  All you do is ask for the toothpicks and then follow the instructions that come along with this miracle shipment, and you will be so thankful you did!!!

Missy Severington of Missoula, Montana writes:

"Oh Reverend Burt, I weep as I am writing this letter of thanks to you for your blessed toothpicks. I had a toothache so bad that I literally could not speak. I received the Miracle toothpick, followed the instructions, and almost immediately, the pain was gone!! Oh Hallelujah brother Burt!! I am so thankful for your annointing and that you so faithfully serve the Lord!!"    And there are many more testimonies just like this one!! I will include a testimonial booklet along with your Miracle Toothpick shipment so that you can rejoice along with the others that have benefited so greatly by this!!

Send your love offering today!!   For a gift of $50.00 or more I will send the Miracle toothpick, instructions, and testimonial of others right away.  Do not miss this opportunity friends!!!  For a gift of $100.00 or more I will send the Miracle Toothpick, and also a packet of "REVEREND BURT O'LEARY MIRACLE DENTAL FLOSS". Dear friends--this floss picks up where the toothpicks leave off!!!  This floss is so blessed and so miraculous you will literally wonder why you ever sat in a dentist's chair!!!  Don't be left behind my dear friends!!

I don't care about Ferraris my dear ones!! I care about YOU!! Please remember this when you go to the bank to get that cashier's check to send in (no personal checks please). I hope as you drop that donation in the mail your heart swells with the knowledge that I love you, and pray for you, and sincerely care about your teeth.

Reverend  Burt O'Leary
2222 Kingford Ave,
Barstow, Ca., 92233

P.S. We all know the Scripture that says: "The very hairs of your head are all numbered"---but alas, not for the bald ones my dear friends. Please ask about "REVEREND BURT O'LEARY MIRACLE HAIR RESTORATION OIL", or simply add an additional $250.00 for a syringe full of this blessed ointment. Those poor children that Elisha sicked the bear on for mocking his baldness would have still been alive had their been "Reverend Burt O'Leary Miracle Hair Restoration Oil" back then(see 2 Kings). Write today friends, and peace be with you!!

Dear Rev. Burt from Barstow,

  Quite frankly, I thought your entire appeal a crock until you mentioned "The Miracle Toothpick" and this convinced me that you must indeed have heard from the Mouth of God.  Some may be thinking right now that Mark C. has more than just a wounded soul, and may also suffer from a serious mental injury as a result of my agreement with Rev. Burt on his claim to "special servant of God" status.

  How did I come to such a conclusion?  Please consider the following and I'm sure most former members of the Assembly of GG can figure it out.

1.) Burt is from Barstow.

  Barstow is in the Mojave desert and has many wild burros running loose.  We already know, from our time of intense study under GG and associates in the OT, that God speaks through these animals.  But here is where it gets really insightful: God spoke through "the mouth of the Ass, etc."

  Now, we must see with the interpretative genius that shows us "the true deeper meaning of scripture and apply it to the present day we live in."   The Rev. Burt sounds like an Ass when he goes on about his need for a new Ferrari, etc. but this foolishness is actually the wisdom of God and brings us the true message from the bible for us today!

  Yes, Burt is the Ass from Barstow and fulfills the OT Balaam's donkey type as the NT reality of the true messenger from Heaven!  However, in a reverse style, as instead of warning against madness he appears to be mad himself in a principle GG taught us regarding "the 4th dimension of light" where we learned things like Adam's creation on the 7th day (If you can't understand this you must have sin in your life).

2.) The Holy Toothpick:

  "Okay, what about this Toothpick thing?"  A very good question!  This is what really sealed it for me and the following sentence should immediately bring illumination to your entire spirit:  A toothpick is used to clean out bad things from the inside of our mouth and thus this toothpick from heaven is sent (much like the coal from heaven's altar to cleanse Isiah)!


   I know, the whole thing sounds wacky, but this is a different kind of wisdom that comes from above, and if you will just be willing to lay aside any "natural wisdom" objections and send Rev. Burt his money it will become clear.  That within you that says, "this is nuts and this guy is nothing but a crook,"  is only the old man trying to rob you of your true blessings!

  This truly is info. you can use to advance to the status of an Overcomer and one of the truly special elite servants like Rev. Burt.  Again, here it is in simplified points I call The Cycle Of The Washed Brain:

1.) Burt is an Ass and therefore speaks God's wisdom to us.

2.) We need to learn to "see" things the way Burt does for our thinking is not only wrong it is sinful.

3.) You must always have 3 points for 4 are too many and 2 are not enough.

                                             Happy New Year, Mark C.  (not from Barstow, but I've been there) ;)

My dear Wormwood,

The Holy Toothpick!! Excellent!!

Good work on M.C.!!

GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD'S RECORDS    66TH Edition        Jan. 2007
EXCERPTS(ages listed are those at time record was set).

Most Peaches at one sitting:   Eric Shubhart, 19, of Wakobe, Wisconsin, USA,, ate an astounding 59 peaches in one sitting, in a record time of 47 minutes, 39 seconds.  Nov. 19, 2003.

Longest Moustache:  Indara Singh, 78, Hyderabad, India, possesses a moustache 127 inches long from end to end as of December, 2006.

Most Bible References during one Sermon:  George Geftakys, 53, of Fullerton, California,USA, asked his congregation to turn to an astounding 139 different Bible Verses during a one hour period, during Lecture # 6, "The Majesty of the Father" duing the Seminar "The God And Father of Our Lord Jesus Christ", January, 1979.

"As we discussed in our last message, "The Divine Amalgamation Anticipated"; our hastiness to offer conclusions can be reticent in an analogy of preposterousness. Please turn in your Bibles to John 11:35, where we read the phrase "Jesus wept". In the original Greek the verb is Metoivas, or "postionally reverent to analagous venture" in which I am sure you all gloriously rejoice. Not that we can say with all conclusiveness that the matter is solvent, for it is not reasonably assumed to be renovation in the strictest sense, but truly is ascertained through a mystic realization of infinity in the broadest articulate nomenclature for all of those involved in such industriousness of sanctification.


Hence, the quagmire: virtue and mystery intertwined in a locale not pervasive enough to perpetuate chronic listlessness, but also inviting one to investigate the social connection thereby resolved and resolutely enhanced. Please see 1 Chronicles 1:8, Zechariah 3:11, Jude 4 and Malachi 2:10 for a true juxtaposition of the references copiously enjoined, and meditate upon the fruition of servitude therefore enlisted in the free witness of verity and vitality enshrined there. Isn't that Grand? Let us now turn to Micah 2: 16 where we see once again an iconoclastic retrogressive coagulation of reason and nonsense renegotiated by the divine time table of preclusiveness, voiced by interrogation, yet with an abrogate intonation of grandeur and responsibility. Do not negate this my friends, with some introspective afterthought, or insidious credentials one irresponsibly distributes as verity in the face of a non-entity. God bless you for now my fellow journeymen on the straight and narrow path of enlightenment".


Dear friends, Did you enjoy this short message from the Reverend Gilbert Posperpostis? How grand and delightful is his sweet message!! Daily, for many hours, the Reverend, upon his knees in deep prayer, receives these jewels of wisdom from the very throne of God, only to share them with you---his deepest desire being this--that you be blessed and grow in the knowledge of God, whose wisdom is past understanding. Won't you help this ministry my friends? Please write to the address below and let us keep the blessed Reverend on this Bulletin Board, because without your tithes and offerings we simply cannot accomplish it. God bless you and keep you.



Reverend Gilbert Posperpostis
P.O. box 1123
Barstow, Ca., 92233
(no personal checks please)

Dear Rev. Gilbert P.,

  I followed your comments with great interest, and though those not walking in the light probably couldn't understand, I was deeply moved (It wouldn't be polite to describe what kind of movement was produced).

  I'll cut to the chase here Rev. Gil: Do I get a  holy toothpick and floss for my contribution like I got from the other Rev. from Barstow? (what is this Barstow connection all about?  Seems to be some kind of harmonic convergence of great spiritual energy around this intersection in the Mojave Desert).

  I use my Holy Toothpick and floss while driving my truck down the road, as you might expect, but the wondrous thing about it is that I can remove my hands from the steering wheel in faith while brushing and flossing!  I have yet to have even one accident, or run over any pedestrians while driving down the sidewalk! (these same pedestrians give me the one-way sign as I barely miss them providing a true indication that I am in the will of God) ;D

   Looking forward to your reply,   Mark C. 

   

Dearest Mark,

I did not cognitively ascertain there was another Reverend in the vicinity of Barstow, California. But Barstow is indeed a center of great enlightenment, virtuousness, and integrity, and I have greatly enjoyed my short sojourn in it's environs. I know not of this "Holy Toothpick" of which you speak, but do offer a "Holy Eye Chart" free of any monetary charges to those who seek better vision. (Please see directly below). Concentrate at the center of the eye chart, and meditate deeply on the intense panorama of your own blessed existence, and the treasures held deep within your own vast and infinite soul:

                                             T
    h        e      r     e       I   s         A      s      u       c      k       e          r     
                         
                                b            o        R      n      e     v    e     r    y 


                                                   m      i         n         u     t         e



As one meditiates upon the Holy Eye Chart one is lead to realize the truly awesome complexities of this existence we call life.  It is my great desire that after deep meditation upon the eye chart, one is lead to give generously to my holy and infinitely grand ministry of reconciliation. I am so glad you took the time to read the blessed words given to me by infinite impartation brother Mark, and hope that you, too, will be lead to give what you can to this life-giving ministry of wisdom.  Thank you, and God bless.

Reverend Gilbert Posperpostis
P.O. Box 1123
Barstow, Ca., 92233

If you are lead to send your donation in pure gold, I will know, as will the Divine Providence, that your heart matches that blessed gift that you give.  Thank you my dear ones.