AssemblyBoard

Here's some recent (9/7/04) news copied from the San Francisco Chronicle on the wife beater's whereabouts, followed by a link to the article.  All I can say about it is I hope he's forced to retire in 3 years.

..."People often mistake David Geftakys for a member of the faculty. He is a muscular man with a shaven head and the look of an old salt. He is 56, and long ago, he went to sea on an oceanographic research vessel. "It was the career I always wanted but didn't know it,'' he said.

Instead, he spent 25 years in the Christian ministry, as a kind of missionary. After a personal crisis, he remembered the college he wanted to attend when he got out of high school. It was Cal Maritime. All of his friends told him to forget about it. "They said, 'You're too old. You can't do it.' "

He enrolled anyway. When school starts this week, he'll be a sophomore. He has three more years to go to graduate and become a deck officer. "It seems like everything's possible,'' Geftakys said. "

http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:EqvLmijfH4sJ:sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi%3Ff%3D/c/a/2004/09/07/BAGRA8KN1U1.DTL+david+geftakys&hl=en

http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:EqvLmijfH4sJ:sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi%3Ff%3D/c/a/2004/09/07/BAGRA8KN1U1.DTL+david+geftakys&hl=en (http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:EqvLmijfH4sJ:sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi%3Ff%3D/c/a/2004/09/07/BAGRA8KN1U1.DTL+david+geftakys&hl=en)

Link in previous post didn't work.

Nice spin.

Wow how perfect for him. In the article it says, "Its really like a little city and we run it". With kids fresh out of high school average age is 20. The past was beset with sexual and racial harassment as with most male dominated professions. (20% female attendance) Just shows you its never too late. I think he's really found his niche, or he found it years ago and with the Strangelhold of the Assembly and his Family he was never able to do this. I hope he does well with this age group he should. And I'll bet his "brittle diabetes" has improved dramatically as I'm sure one would have to pass a rigourous physical and agility tests to be admitted. Is'nt Life Amazing!!!

Well, I'm glad for the old salt.  It was no good for him to get tied up in his father's racket.  He never matured past 19.  Now he's picking up where he left off, as a sophomore--hehe.  Age 56 and maybe now learning to be an adult--getting a job, being on his own away from his parents.  Better late than never.

Arthur

I don't know.  I am picturing some of the younger students perceiving David as a seasoned veteran of life and David gravitating towards the role of "wise, sage, advisor".  Might get interesting.

Dave and Arthur,

David is probably having to grow up at last.  On his own, at least out on the ship.  I suspect that Mommy and Daddy are footing the bill for his schooling.

Rather than the "wise sage" perception, I suspect that when he begins to declaim on various subjects many will just write him off as a screwball.

He always used his position, and the fact that he knew that GG would back him up on anything he did, to bully and demean others.  

That is how he has gone through life.  If he tries that on seamen, he is likely to find himself having to back up his mouth with a whole lot more than a phone call to Daddy.

Could be good for him.   ;)

Most men learn that you must treat people with a certain level of respect when we are still boys.  I question that David ever has.

I don't think the fact that he is all buffed up would help him much in such an eventuallity.  Strong and tough are not the same thing.

Thomas maddux

For the most part, I think you are probably right.  David will find himself with some real men's men who will take little to his fantasy world.  On the other hand, of the little I heard of David in ministry, he seems good at doing what the author of the last couple of books I read do:  if you want to make an unprovable point, use language that is so vague and lofty that the reader/hearer reasons that if it sounds so profound, it must be true.  That's why I wonder if he might not pick up a disciple or two.

Of course, this is all speculation.

Hi everyone. I am David E Geftakys’s youngest daughter. I haven't spoken to him in about 3 years. He is a sad man who has made many mistakes and hurt many people. However, just like the rest of us he is trying to rebuild what is left of his life. Maybe those of you how find the sarcasm so entertaining can stop for a moment and remember that this man has children who, even if he was not a good man, love him. I can’t go home and hug my dad. I never got to make him proud of me. I will probably never see him again but I still wonder how he is. I went on line and searched his name today and found the article you have all been discussing. It made me sad but at the same time I was so happy to see that he had finally broken the chains of the “Assembly” and his parents and was doing what he had always talked about. The next thing I found was this. People making sarcastic remarks about him. I’m sorry that you all were hurt by him. By all means, say anything you want about Gorge and Betty (may they feed may worms in there graves). But I would ask you one thing. Before you post here, think about me and my brother. Try to put yourself in our shoes. Give us some consideration before you make hard remarks about what is left of our family. I do not condone what they did. I have no involvement with any Geftakys other than my brother. But David E. Geftakys is my dad and always will be if I like it or not. I think there has been enough pain. Please try not to cause more.

Hi Rebecca,

I haven't seen you in a while, but I often think about you, and your sister will tell you that I ask how you are doing every time I talk to her.

I will take to heart what you wrote below, and I'm sure others will also.

I also was glad to see that David was doing the very thing he was doing before he became entangled in his father's group.  I was happy to hear about it.

One thing I can tell you about being at sea, especially at night, is that a person often gets many quiet, serene hours in which one's mind can wander.  I wouldn't be surprised if he realized a few things about himself some night and hopefully aquire the character to confess, repent and apologize.

I, for one, would forgive him.

Brent

I can relate to David-being a non-traditional age college student and all.  It's great to hear of our brother pursuing his dreams. Good for him! :)

Rebecca,

I apologize if any comments of mine caused you pain.  It certainly wasn’t my intention and, at your request, I will certainly cease.

However, I think there is legitimacy to the comments themselves that need no apology.  In fact, I think they are rather mild compared to what could have been said.  I know this is not news to you, but your dad beat your mom for decades.  He abused his children.  He did very little in the church, but lorded himself over others.  He stumbled many believers.

Forgive me if I have a difficult time mustering up a lot of enthusiasm about him pursuing his dream as he leaves behind a wake of broken lives and destruction.

I don’t say this to be mean or hard-hearted.  I cannot begin to even imagine what you have gone through and are still going through.  I cannot even begin to fathom the pain.  I can only assume that it would be much easier to not hear the negative talk and live within the fantasy of the father he should have been.

If you haven’t done so already, I hope you get help from a capable counselor to help you come to grips with the way things really are and to heal from the pain.  It will probably take many years and much work.

In the meantime, I’ll keep my comments about your dad to myself.

-Dave

Hello Rebecca:
I am praying for God's comfort and healing for you.
I have a few observations about your post.





Do you know whether your dad has made any attempts at restitution and/or reconciliation with those he has injured both physically and spiritually? The last I heard was that he staunchly denies any of the matters in which he was accused by many witnesses. If he has not, and I do not know the answer, it is not possible for him to rebuild his life, at least not in a way that will result in God's blessing and restoration.




This is so very sad. You should seek him out, unelsss he resists it.  You have a better chance as family, of reaching him and influencing him for good than any of us.


Ther harsh remarks about David were borne also of the great pain he has caused so many. His refusal to accept any responsibility has made it even more diffucult for those who so harshly criticize him to come to terms with their own hurt and pain and move toward forgiveness. I am still somewhat conflicted about whether is is really possible to truly forgive an offense that has not been repented of. I do agree that ongoing indulgence in acrimony is counterproductive for all concerned.
I have not mentioned his name for some time and will honor your request.
Verne

Rebecca,

I left the Geftakys assembly system 16 years ago.  I had learned early on that your grandparents could not hear any criticism of their kids and indulged David in particular.  Whenever he did something that could not be denied, it was ascribed to his diabetic condition.

When I first came into contact with George, Tim was 16 and David was, I think, 19.  So, I watched them develop from high school age boys into adults.  

You say that it hurts you to hear people say hard things about your Dad.  While that is perfectly understandable, you need to remember that you are not the only one who has feelings.  Many of these folks have some pretty strong feelings of their own that they need to address, and talking to others who understand is one way that they can deal with them.

I noticed that you hope that worms eat George and Betty in their graves.  That probably expresses some of the feelings you are dealing with.  And quite legitimately so.  George's rejection of your sister in a time of real need was an act of unmitigated selfishness and cruelty.

Just remember that many of these folks have similar feelings about David.  Pretty much all of the clothes you wore, food you ate, houses you lived in, and cars you rode in were paid for with money that these folks worked for.  

I was able to avoid David for most of my assembly experience, so he never got to do anything to me...except to use a lot of money that I worked for and my family did not benifit from.  But many of these folks had to deal directly with him for years.  It was not easy for them.

So, while I understand that you don't like to see folks posting about your dad, it will likely be done by some of them.  One way to avoid the problem is simply not to read the posts.

I agree wholeheartedly with Dave Sable's suggestion that you seek some counselling to help you heal from your childhood experiences.  These things don't just go away.  What they do is to effect our feelings about certain types of situations for years.  These emotional reactions can exert quite a bit of control over your life choices if they are not healed, and no one needs that.

The effects are almost always negative.

Blessings,

Thomas Maddux

Me Again.
I was going to try and stay away as some suggested but my curiosity to see if anyone had read what I had to say was to great. Brent and Eulaha, what you said was very comforting. Brent, I think about you and Suzie and your kids a lot. Verne and Dave, thank you for trying to understand where I’m coming from and agreeing to trying to respect my wishes. I understand how much my family did to all of you and if me saying sorry could give all of you the years and hard work you all did back I would say it a million times. But instead all I can say is thank you to the people that made up my family growing up. So many of you I saw as aunts and uncles.  I am seeing a therapist for quite a few reasons. Tom Maddux, I remember you believe it or not. You where an adult when you chose to join the “Assembly” where you not? I am so sorry for the way Gorge and Betty treated you and your family. I never forgot the money and tears and time and love these people put into my world when I was a child. I never can forget the times I saw my Dad beat my mom. I will never forget that there were other adult in these situations who should have got the authorities involved and didn’t. Other adults that put there children thru the same things I went thru.
   All families have problems but my families problems were supported and protected by others. Now I’m not saying that these others were any of you. The “Leading Brothers” knew what was going on and covered it up. Had they not been there my mom and dad may have got help. My mom may have been able to leave. I may have had a family now. Many of you have deep pain and you have to work hard to heel. My mom and my siblings are still suffering the consequence of Gorge and Betty and the “Leading Brothers” decisions in the past every day of our lives.  With the help of many, my childhood and my life, became a train wreck. And once this train wreck was exposed everyone stepped back to criticize it. You may not have been driving the train but you were definitely riding it.

Dear CAGirl,

Thanks for sharing this with us.  I am sorry for all that you have gone through, and am happy that you are taking the steps needed to heal from your experience.

God bless you,
Marcia

This is quite telling:
Normally, a dysfuntional family would have the option of seeking help, but George and Betty aptly trained their servants to cover up their sons' abuse.  This was done for the sake of 'image' and keeping their own lifestyle going.  How very sad that they were willing to sacrifice their children and grandchildren and many others for the sake of their cause.

Marcia

Hello Rebecca,

My apology is for suggesting that your father should find a job crab fishing in the Bering Sea.  I remember catching the tail end of a Discovery Channel show about the most dangerous jobs in the world, and what they listed as the number one most dangerous job is what I chose to suggest.  The truth is that I would feel terrible if he were to actually do it and end up getting seriously hurt or killed because of my suggestion.  It is not my place to say what hardships are appropriate for him.  God has his perfect plan for each of us.

Your father's idea of finding a more reasonable job at sea sounds like a good one.  His enrollment in the California Maritime Academy in Vallejo is a step in the right direction, toward being more responsible in life.

Comments in this thread from 4 months ago are far more respectful and civil than in the older thread from a year earlier.  This improvement in attitude came from his choice to be more responsible.  His step toward responsibility may well be because of the ridicule in the earlier thread.  Men are naturally competitive and sometimes need a sharp goading to get them going in the right direction.  We are all waiting in anticipation for what Brent talked about, that he will remember all those he hurt, be honest about it and do what he can to make amends with them, at least in terms of attitude.  Having the courage to do what is right will improve his reputation tremendously.


Psalm 107:23-30,43
They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; these see the works of the LORD, and his wonders in the deep.  For he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof.  They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble.  They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wit's end.  Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses.  He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.  Then are they glad because they be quiet; so he bringeth them unto their desired haven. ...  Whoso is wise, and will observe these things, even they shall understand the lovingkindness of the LORD.


Another apology that I owe to you and your family is that more than 20 years ago I was a coward and did nothing, when I could see from your mother's unhappiness that she was being mistreated, although I didn't know how badly.

Click the blue quote header to read about some things from more than 20 years ago:


Sincerely, Stephen

Hello Rebecca,

Thank you for your courage to come on this board and give a needed reminder.   And your courage to be in therapy and deal with the "train wreck".  You've obviously recovered quite a bit.

I didn't know what was going on in your family, but I was responsible for promoting Betty's ideas on child training (i.e. child squashing), which was another aspect of what you suffered.  I am so sorry, I was so wrong.  

Margaret Irons