AssemblyBoard

Post Assembly Life => Where are they now? => : tkarey January 02, 2005, 08:11:58 AM



: Arcata, Anyone?
: tkarey January 02, 2005, 08:11:58 AM
Happy New Year, I thought I'd make one of my infrequent posts. My husband and I often wonder about how people are doing from Arcata. We've visited the Hillgers, the Cachelins (also from Seattle), I've gotten correspondence from the Fortezzos and Stacey Clark, spoken to Tammy Johnston. I've also corresponded with Janet Parr (now married but forgot your new name) on this BB. So, it would seem we are completely cognizant of "how everyone is doing". We're not, though, because this subject is something I've tiptoed around. It's easier for me to speak on this BB. So, if anyone from Arcata visits the BB and is up for it, please let me know where you and your family stands and how you have gotten on with your life.

My motivation is more than just gossip (though I'm not against catching up). Our family has really gone to Hell and back on many levels and I wonder are we the only ones? We struggled way back in the assembly days, too - we were 'the struggling family' (bless their hearts, I hate that phrase). Financially we are much better off now. We have two working cars (gasp, quite a feat for an Arcatan), a decent house with a yard, a dog and some of the common toys (play-station, tv, etc). Our two oldest children are extremely involved in the youth groups at the church we are all members of. Our youngest two would never be mistaken for assembly kids, though they are absolutely perfect in their own weird ways. We lead active, full lives but don't overwhelm ourselves with too much busyness. We sound like we're doing well. The small detail of Dave and I going through a separation, me not going to church, Dave IS going to church (what a complete switch, huh?), both of us on anti-depressants, both of us experiencing major panic attacks, and other more personal stuff tends to throw out the idea of 'us doing really well'. Actually, we're doing better than we were this summer but we're weary of the stress.

We'd love to hear from anyone out there. We wonder if we're the only ones who've struggled.

Thanks,
Karey


: Re:Arcata, Anyone?
: M2 January 02, 2005, 10:42:17 AM
Happy New Year, I thought I'd make one of my infrequent posts. My husband and I often wonder about how people are doing from Arcata. We've visited the Hillgers, the Cachelins (also from Seattle), I've gotten correspondence from the Fortezzos and Stacey Clark, spoken to Tammy Johnston. I've also corresponded with Janet Parr (now married but forgot your new name) on this BB. So, it would seem we are completely cognizant of "how everyone is doing". We're not, though, because this subject is something I've tiptoed around. It's easier for me to speak on this BB. So, if anyone from Arcata visits the BB and is up for it, please let me know where you and your family stands and how you have gotten on with your life.

My motivation is more than just gossip (though I'm not against catching up). Our family has really gone to Hell and back on many levels and I wonder are we the only ones? We struggled way back in the assembly days, too - we were 'the struggling family' (bless their hearts, I hate that phrase). Financially we are much better off now. We have two working cars (gasp, quite a feat for an Arcatan), a decent house with a yard, a dog and some of the common toys (play-station, tv, etc). Our two oldest children are extremely involved in the youth groups at the church we are all members of. Our youngest two would never be mistaken for assembly kids, though they are absolutely perfect in their own weird ways. We lead active, full lives but don't overwhelm ourselves with too much busyness. We sound like we're doing well. The small detail of Dave and I going through a separation, me not going to church, Dave IS going to church (what a complete switch, huh?), both of us on anti-depressants, both of us experiencing major panic attacks, and other more personal stuff tends to throw out the idea of 'us doing really well'. Actually, we're doing better than we were this summer but we're weary of the stress.

We'd love to hear from anyone out there. We wonder if we're the only ones who've struggled.

Thanks,
Karey

Hi Karey,

I am not from Arcata.  Your story is not unique.  I know of other situations where "adjusting" to post-assembly life is very difficult, where marriages could end up with divorce, and others have lost their faith in God because of their assembly experience.  Each of us have our own unique problems that we brought with us when we entered assembly-life.  The assembly focussed our energies on keeping the system going rather than providing a place for healing from our former woundedness thus further wounding us.  Though I do not discount Church going, it is not an indication of spirituality.  The assembly measured spiritual growth by the things we do, morning times, church attendance, serving the leaders, etc.  Some of us still have the tendency to operate under the same mentality though we have changed our allegiance to another place of fellowship.

Others suffered from panic attacks and the like as well.  Yes, we are all struggling with some major issues.  I pray that you will know the comfort of the Lord at this time and always. Mark 2:17 And hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

God bless you and your family,
Marcia


: Re: Arcata, Anyone?
: Stacy Clark February 26, 2005, 06:48:08 AM
Hi Karey,
This is the first time I have visited this site in about a year. But I saw your post and thought I would touch bases. Seth is all grown up and on his own. He has told me that God has no place in his life and that he doesn't want to talk about it. I just keep praying for him. When he comes to visit I treat him like a guest and beloved son. Scott is into anything electronic. TV, PS2, computers etc. to get him to exercise I made him boffer swords (pvc pipe and duct tape) and he and the neighbors have sword fights. I attend Arcata First but not all the time. I have no interest in getting to know anyone the way I knew the assembly gang. Some are still around and we are mostly friends, some I haven't spoken to since I left the assembly in spring of 03. The Johnstons moved away and that has been the hardest for me. Now I really feel like I've been abandoned  ::) 
Anyway, life is going forward. My relationship with Christ is still strong but my ability to trust people has gone out the window.

Nice to hear from you.
Stacy
P.S. Janet's last name is Adams.


: Re: Arcata, Anyone?
: tkarey February 26, 2005, 08:19:03 PM
Very good to hear from you Stacey, thanks for your post. I've enjoyed your emails, too, though I can't remember if I've responded to them all or not. Ye gads, the Johnstons moved? Where are you headed to? If you have time it'd be great to speak to you in more detail. You can write me at my hotmail address tkarey@hotmail.com. I know very well what trust issues are all about. Let's hang in there together, huh? Can't believe Seth is grown. My boys wouldn't make it outside - away from ps2 and computer - if it wasn't for skateboarding and the trampoline. Just kidding, it's not quite that bad. I've been considering taking a trip down to Humboldt later this year - spring break maybe - if you're around would love to see you.

See ya,
Karey





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