- GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW

My name is James Worthington. I, along with my associate Herbert Lawson are on a special
mission, the importance of which not even Herbert himself is fully aware. We find ourselves
here, on the Amazon river, in a small canoe, deep in the heart of the jungles of Brazil. We are
surrounded by mass foilage, and the sound of screeching monkeys and toucans are our constant
companions.

Please forgive the Cockney British accents with which Herbert and I speak, like something out
of a Monty Python movie, but we were given them by the author, and must speak this way
because of him. HERBERT: "Excuse me sir, does that mean that I also have the same accent
you are speaking with, because you sound like someone from the LIFE OF BRIAN". JAMES: "Why
yes Herbert, you do. But please be quiet for now, as I need to finish my narration". HERBERT: OK sir, sorry sir". JAMES: "As I was saying, we are now deep in the rain forests of Brazil and...
HERBERT: "Excuse me sir, would you like a spot of tea and some scones sir? Or how about some kippers sir?" JAMES: "Herbert, I know that you now know you speak with a cockney British accent, and want to take full advantage of it, but I'll have to ask you once again to remain silent, as I have a narration to finish my dear boy" HERBERT: "Oh, sorry sir, do go on."

JAMES: "As an expert on Cultic phenomenom and behavior, a graduate of Oxford University, I was contacted by the Cult Awareness Network, along with the National Christian Alliance, to investigate an ex-cult leader who has bastioned himself deep in the interior of Brazil. Once living in Fullerton, the church he led crumpled around him, and he became mad, and dangerous, and he has come here and lead thousands into a bizarre form of Cultic ritual that has driven many to insanity. Both Herbert and I were sent here, putting our lives on the line, to track down this insane and dangerous man, before more are led into his bizarre ways."

HERBERT: "Excuse me sir. Did you say "putting our lives on the line" and "insane and dangerous man" sir?
JAMES: "Why yes Herbert, I surely did. Herbert? What are you doing Herbert? You need to stay in
the boat Herbert.
HERBERT: "I think I left the lights on at home sir. I also think I left the kettle on sir".
JAMES: "Herbert!! England is 5000 miles away!! Get back in the boat!!
HERBERT: I'm not from England sir, I'm from Barstow, California sir. I was only GIVEN this accent
by the author remember?
JAMES: You're not from anywhere Herbert, your just a character, now get back into this God forsaken boat before I tar and feather you".

After "persuading" Herbert about the value of continuing on the journey, we began on our way once
again, with a bit of fear in our hearts, but a constitution of courage, and the knowledge that we were on a mission of goodness.

HERBERT: "Mmmpf, mmpfff!!! urr.. MMmpff!!"
JAMES: "OK Herbert, I'll remove the gag and ropes now if you promise to continue on in this journey with courage and fortitude"
HERBERT: (gasp) "Why yes, of course sir. Thank you sir".

Several hours later we came around a bend in the river, and before us was a vision of grandeur.
JAMES: "Herbert, Look ahead of us, far in the distance. What do you make of that Herbert?"
HERBERT: "Well, it's rather large sir, but I could take part of it and make a small building for you."
JAMES: "No Herbert, I didn't ask what you COULD make out of it, but what DO you make of it--
what is it?"
Herbert: "Oh, sorry sir. Why it's a mountain sir"
JAMES: Herbert, that's not just a mountain, that is a volcano. Do you know what a volcano is?
HERBERT: "I believe it was where people would go and put in their lifes earnings in order to escape some future catastrophe, or in hopes of gaining back more of the riches than what they had originally put in sir".
JAMES: "No Herbert, that would be an Insurance Policy or a College tuition. True, people in the past would make sacrifices by throwing someone or some thing into the volcano in hopes of appeasing the gods, but that wasn't what I had in mind. A volcano is the result of fissures in the earth allowing magma to
get dangerously close to the surface, sometimes erupting and spewing forth molten lava upon the earth. But take a closer look at this volcano Herbert(handing him binoculars), what do you see?"
HERBERT: "Well, it appears to have something on top of it. It looks a bit like a doily"
JAMES: "Yes Herbert, but not just a doily. That is a giant head-covering Herbert. Why do you think someone would create a giant head-covering to place on top of a volcano Herbert?"
HERBERT: "Because of the angels sir"?
JAMES: "No Herbert. Because this is the work of a mad man, one who has lost all mental balance, and has made several hundred natives knit for hours to accomplish an insane request".

Several hours later as we came around another bend in the river, we observed a man who resembled a young Robert Duvall, but this man was clad in a priestly garb. He then said "I love the smell of Coffee enemas in the morning". We were both taken aback by this statement, but then we began to see hundreds and hundreds of empty coffee cans strewn against the shoreline. Yuban, Maxwell House, Folger's, and other Brazilian brands I hadn't heard of. It was a sure sign of massive Coffee enema ingestion by the populace. This was a sure sign that the ex-cult leader's wife was also deeply involved in the insane schemes of the insane leader we were seeking. Then, something happened
that assured that indeed we were getting close to him.

Ahead of us on an outstretched branch sat a beautiful parrot. It was the type of parrot that you might find sitting on a Pirate's shoulder. It was so colorful both Herbert and I were mesmerized. As we drew nearer it's pitch black eyes seemed to look through us. But then, in it's parrot voice it said rapidly "Are you rejoicing brother? Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Are you rejoicing brother? Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord". Herbert was so taken aback he let out a scream, causing the parrot to take off in a burst of flapping wings. But this confirmed it. We had come to the outskirts of:
THE CULT OF THE GIANT HAND. THE BRAZILIAN ASSEMBLY.

.....to be continued.

NEW YORK (AP) - Wall Street was agog today, and the academic community gaga, following hints of a soon-to-be-released new book by the unknown author who writes under the nom de plume of Joe Sperling. Not since Sperling's 24 weeks at the top of the New York Times best seller list with his 2003 sensation, Little Georgie and the Giant Hand, has there been such a clamor for a new release. Retail bookstores and online booksellers are being bombarded with requests. "Presale orders are coming in faster than we can take them," said Greg Medavoy, newly appointed manager of New York City's largest Barnes and Noble store. Medavoy, a recently retired NYC police detective, hinted that riot control personnel may be needed to handle the crowds when the new book, entitled Geftakylypse Now, becomes available.

In a brief press release Sperling explained that the title is derived from the surname of "Little Georgie," the main character of his first book. Geftakylypse is not a sequel, however, but rejoins Georgie late in life, after apparent success has led to dismal failure resulting in madness, according to the author. A third book, as yet untitled covering the interim years between the first and second books, may be released in 2007.

A portion of the opening chapter of Geftakylypse, sent to the press, offered such teasers as mass coffee enemas and a mantilla-clad volcano, adding to the frenzy of Sperling's fans.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued....

Herbert walks towards us quietly. There are two tents in the background, as James and
Herbert have pulled ashore for the night. It is quite dark, and an occasional bird cackle can
be heard from time to time. Herbert, in his cockney acccent begins to whisper quietly:

HERBERT: Shhhhhhh! James is asleep right now. I wanted to tell you that during our
lit'l break, James apologized for what 'e did to me for leaving the boat. He was quite apolo-
getic and..

JAMES:(from inside his tent) "Herbert!!
HERBERT:"Uh.., yes sir?"(turning to look back at James' tent)
JAMES: "Who are you talking to?"
HERBERT: "Oh, no one sir. I was just praying sir"
JAMES: "Jolly good, old friend. Prayer is good for the soul".
HERBERT:(Whispering even more quietly now and turning back towards us): "Anyway,
I left the boat, not due to cowardice, but I had "a call of nature" so to speak and wanted
to get on shore. James realizes that now and wants all of you to forget the whole incident.
I'm really not a coward at all. I..
JAMES:(calling again from his tent) :"Herbert!! Did you hear something? It sounded like it
could be a marauding Puma".
HERBERT: "Puma?!!?" (sound of rapidly running feet towards the tents, a diving sound, and the
sound of a tent zipper being pulled up quickly. Then, the sound of muffled prayers for pro-
tection being made into a pillow).
JAMES: (walking around outside with a flashlight and a shotgun in hand): "Herbert? Herbert?"
(shines flashlight into Herberts tent showing a silhouetted shadow of Herbert,on his knees praying). "I
seem to have misjudged the lad. Here he is continuing to pray inside his tent when the threat
of a Puma is at hand. I think I chose the right sort of chap to accompany me on this journey after
all."

...to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued.....

After the evening's "puma scare" we made our way back up the Amazon. The humidity
was atrocious, and the mosquitos were biting us ferociously. Both Herbert and I were
beginning to wonder what the Author of this story really had in mind? To put us through
such suffering seemed truly unfair. Then we came around a bend in the river and saw a
strange sight---it was a man in a uniform, and he was waving something in the air.

THE MAN: "Telegram!! Telegram for Mr. James Worthington!!"
JAMES: "Telegram? In the middle of the Amazon? This has to be some form of joke. Herbert,
get that will you?"(steering canoe to the shoreline).
HERBERT: (takes telegram and gives the man a nickel. The man frowns and stomps off into the
jungle) "Sir, it's from one of the readers of GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW. They are suggesting that we
add an extra character to the boat. It's signed "Anonymous".
JAMES: "Add another person to the boat? Why that's absolutely ridiculous."
There is the distinct sound of an electronic game being played.
HERBERT: (Nudges James, and looks to the back of the canoe): "Look sir".

They both look toward the back of the boat. There is an overweight 14 year old kid
with glasses with extremely thick lenses sitting there. He has a "Baby Ruth" candy bar
in one hand, and some of the chocolate is smeared on his face.
JAMES: "In the name of all that's sacred, who in heaven's name are you?"
SKIPPY: "Oh, hi, my name'th Skippy, and I'm here to go along with you on your trip. Are we
there yet? Look, I brought my Gameboy along tho I don't get bored".
JAMES: "Are we there yet? Gameboy?? What in the name of Heaven is going on here?"(looking
up into the sky) "You can't do this, this far into the story!! You don't just add characters to
your story like this, you should do that in the beginning. We're overcrowded as it is in this
canoe, and you send us an overweight, near-sighted, American boy with a Gameboy?
HERBERT: "Sir, he's already eaten all of our scones."
SKIPPY: "Hey, thothe things were good, I've never had them before".
JAMES: "This is absolutely atrocious!!"(looking up into the sky once again). I don't approve of
what you are doing at all Mr. Author. What are you going to do next, CHANGE THE WHOLE
STORY AND SEND US OUT OF THE AMAZON TO NEW YORK CITY!!???"

In an instant the whole scene changes, and James, Herbert and Skippy are all sitting in chairs
in front of a large table. Sitting across from them are two men and a woman.

JAMES: "Blimey!! What happened? Where are we?"
HERBERT: "I think were in New York City sir."
JAMES: "New York City??" How can that be?"
SKIPPY: "Hey, thatsth Donald Trump over there. Hi Misther Trump, isth that your real hair?,
'cause it looksth kind of funny."
TRUMP: "I'm going to have to ask you to shut up Skippy. I know you've only been in the
story for a short time, but I don't find you to be the least bit funny. In fact, all three of you
have been doing a miserable job in this story. I find your work sub-par. James, Herbert, Skippy, YOU'RE FIRED".

JAMES: "Fired???" You can't fire us from a story!! This story was about tracking down a ruthless
Cult-leader, not an episode of "The Apprentice"!! This is absolutely appalling!! The Author must
have lost his mind, he..
HERBERT: "Sir, I wouldn't do that. Perhaps you should apologize to the Author sir."
JAMES: "Apologize to the Author? But the Author is writing the words I'm saying right
now. He must be a huge egotist to want one of his very own characters to apologize
to HIM!!"
HERBERT:" Please sir, just do it, I think things might change then."
SKIPPY: "No, don't apologizeth, I kinda like it better here. Could we go get a Hamburger?"
JAMES: Oh, alright then. Mr. Author, I'm sorry for questioning your authority. Forgive me.

In an instant we are back to the Amazon. Back to the heat and the mosquitos. James and
Herbert look at one another.
"JAMES: "Thanks be to the author, things are back to the way they were before. Now we
can continue our quest unmolested and finish this story. We...
HERBERT: (Nudging James and looking to the back of the boat): "Sir".
SKIPPY: "Hey do you guysth have any Oatmeal cookiesth?, I'm starving".

...to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued...

With rations rapidly disappearing, due to Skippy's ravenous appetite, it was
decided to move rapidly up river to get to a grove of mango trees we could
see a couple of miles away. But suddenly the paddle we had used thus far
snapped in half, floating down the river.

JAMES: "We'll have to put ashore so I can make a new paddle. Herbert, get me
the small ax out of the tool box."
HERBERT: "All we have is this pocket knife sir". I lost the ax when I was using it
to cut a sandwich in half and it fell in the river sir".
JAMES:(face turning beet red with hands in front of him in a strangling pose) "Oh, give
me the knife!!"

For over 4 hours James carves and cuts away at a piece of balsa wood he found on the
shore. He thinks about how the author could have helped him out with an extra paddle,
or another ax, and he begins to complain internally because of all the hard work. "The
author of this story is just unfair" he thinks. Skippy continually talks about food, and all
of the delicacies he wished he had, and James explains that the Amazon is hardship, where
you live off of rations, and fruit, and whatever you can. Finally the paddle is finished and
they are once again on their way.

SKIPPY: " I methed up earlier. My name ith Thkippy. The Author apparently doesn't know how
to write for a perthon with a lithp very well. But I thure am hungry. I with I could have a Cheeth-
burger, french frieth and a coke right now. And I take them Thuper-thized".
JAMES: There are no cheeseburgers on the Amazon, Skippy. Try to think of something else
instead.
SKIPPY: "Maybe I thould akth the author for a cheethburger".
JAMES: "Don't be ridiculous Skippy. He's allowed us to brave the weather, lose a paddle
and carve a new one. He will also provide the fruit and resources as they come."
SKIPPER: "Author, could I pleath have a Cheethburger?"
JAMES: (laughs loudly, along with Herbert)
Moments later...
HERBERT: "Sir, there's something ahead".
JAMES: "Well, do go on, what is it?"
HERBERT: "Why it's a McDonald's sir"
JAMES: "A Mcdonald's on the Amazon?"
SKIPPY: Thankth Author, Thuper thize me, Thuper thize me!!"

...to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued...

Pulling away from the Mcdonald's, Skippy with cheeseburger in hand, they began
rowing up the river once more. James was furious that he had been made to sit
for hours carving a new paddle, while Skippy simply asked for a cheeseburger and
received one from the Author. Just then, a pot of freshly brewed tea which James
had just prepared, in which he had put the last of his Earl Grey tea, tipped over and
poured out into the bottom of the boat. Holding back his choicest curse words, he
looked skyward and asked "Why? Why?"

SKIPPY: "Hey, look what I found in my backpack. It'th a package of thinnamon rollth. I
didn't pack any of them there. I love thinnamon rollth. It muthd be the Author. Thankth
Author."

James was now angry beyond words. He turns to Herbert, "Herbert I have a plan. Pull the
boat over to the shoreline at once".
HERBERT: "Yes sir".

They all got out of the boat and began hiking through the jungle. For hours and hours they
trudged along, and then they finally arrived at the base of a mountain. Then upward they
climbed, for hours and hours once again, stopping at times to nap. Finally, climbing over about
100 yards worth of some form of fabric, they came to the top. The fabric had been burned
through over the cauldron due to the extreme heat. It was the giant head-covering that had
been placed over the volcano.

SKIPPY: "Goth, it'th really hot up here, and it'th kind of thmoky too."
HERBERT: "Why sir, we've come to the top of the volcano we saw before, haven't we sir?"
JAMES: "Why yes, we have, Herbert.
HERBERT: "But why come to the top of this volcano sir?"
JAMES: "Because were going to throw something into it to appease the Author".
HERBERT: "Throw something in to appease the author sir? And what are we going to throw into the volcano?"
JAMES: Why, isn't it obvious Herbert? We're going to throw Skippy into the volcano".
HERBERT: "Skippy sir? But why throw Skippy into the volcano?"
JAMES: "The author made me, one of his own characters, apologize to him, so perhaps if
we throw one of his characters into the volcano, he'll stop mistreating you and I, Herbert".
HERBERT: "Have you gone mad sir? You said that people "used" to throw things into volcanoes
due to myths and legends.
JAMES: "I've changed my mind. We're throwing Skippy into the volcano, now grab him!"

James and Herbert grab a chocolate covered Skippy, and drag him to the edge of the cauldron,
causing Skippy to drop a Butterfinger candy bar he had just opened. They all watched as it fell
and fell and finally hit the surface--a small flame shot up and a poof of smoke, proof of the extreme
temperature of the liquid lava below.

SKIPPY: "What a wathte of a perfectly good Butterfinger. Are you guyth crathy?
JAMES: Push now Herbert, push!!!"

to be continued...

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued...

There was a tremendous struggle at the edge of the volcano cauldron, as Skippy reached
back for the back-pack he had dropped when James and Herbert initially grabbed him.

SKIPPY: "I'm not going without my Twinkieth!!"

THE AUTHOR OF THE STORY: "DON'T THROW SKIPPY INTO THE VOLCANO."
HERBERT: "What was that? Did you hear that James?"(Looking skyward)
JAMES: "Yes I did. Who's there and what do you want??"
AUTHOR: "DON'T THROW SKIPPY INTO THE VOCANO."
JAMES: "Who are you? Go away!!"(looking upwards)
AUTHOR: "I'M THE AUTHOR OF THE STORY AND I REPEAT, DO NO THROW SKIPPY
INTO THE VOLCANO".
HERBERT: "You can't be the author of this story, you're speaking with a cockney British
accent, just like James and I do."
AUTHOR: "YOU'RE JUST HEARING ME THAT WAY. TO SKIPPY I SOUND LIKE A SPANIARD
SPEAKING WITH A LISP".
SKIPPY: "Hola Author, Como Ethta Uthted?"
AUTHOR: MUY BIEN, THKIPPY, GRACIATH, Y UTHTED?
SKIPPY: "Tengo Mucho Hambre, Uthted Tiene Un Cheethburger?"
AUTHOR: "NOT NOW SKIPPY(sounding British once again), JAMES, HERBERT, WHY
WOULD YOU WANT TO THROW SKIPPY INTO THE VOLCANO?"

JAMES: "To appease you sir. You were being quite unfair in the way you were treating
Herbert and I, giving Skippy his heart's desire, and ignoring us. I thought it might get
your attention sir."
HERBERT: "James is right. I think you're a terrible author. You are quite unfair. Why should
Skippy be so blessed?"
AUTHOR: "I AM THE AUTHOR OF THIS STORY. I CAN DO WHATEVER I PLEASE. IF I CHOOSE
TO BLESS SKIPPY AND WITHOLD FROM YOU, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO SO. SHALL THE THING
CREATED COMPLAIN AGAINST IT'S AUTHOR? WHAT IF YOU, HERBERT, BY THE END OF THIS
STORY, OWN A MERCEDES, A LARGE SCHOONER, AND EAT T-BONE STEAKS EVERY NIGHT?"
HERBERT: "Sir, I take back everything I said. You actually have quite a flair for writing sir, in fact,
I think you're brilliant!"
AUTHOR: "OR, WHAT IF BY THE END OF THE STORY, JAMES IS IN A WHEELCHAIR, AND MISSING
ALL OF HIS TEETH?"
HERBERT: "Sir, in that case James would not be able to drive a car or eat T-bone steaks. Could
I have his share...you know..'cause he won't be needing them anyway?"

AUTHOR: "THE POINT I'M MAKING IS THAT I CAN DO AS I CHOOSE TO DO WITH THIS STORY. JAMES WILL NOT END UP IN A WHEELCHAIR, I WAS JUST GIVING AN EXAMPLE".
HERBERT: "Sir, can I ask you something?"
AUTHOR: "YES HERBERT. GO AHEAD."
HERBERT: "Well sir, you said we can't throw Skippy into the volcano. Would it be alright to throw
him into the river instead?"
AUTHOR: "AND WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO THROW SKIPPY INTO THE RIVER?"
HERBERT: "Because he keeps eating all of our scones sir".
AUTHOR: "NO. YOU WILL NOT BE THROWING SKIPPY INTO THE RIVER, OR ANYWHERE ELSE
FOR THAT MATTER. IT'S TIME TO GET ON WITH THIS STORY, AND STOP TAKING DETOURS
THAT LEAD TO NOWHERE. THERE IS A CULT LEADER THAT NEEDS TO BE STOPPED, AND I AM
SENDING YOU TO STOP HIM. YOU WILL FIND HIS COMPOUND IN THE JUNGLE, AND YOU WILL
GIVE HIM MY MESSAGE".

HERBERT: "Sir, why don't you just get him yourself. It would be so easy".
AUTHOR: "BECAUSE THERE WOULD BE NO NEED OF A STORY THEN, WOULD THERE? THERE
WOULD BE NO NEED FOR SKIPPY, OR FOR JAMES, OR FOR HERBERT EITHER.
HERBERT: "I am SO ready to go look for him sir"
AUTHOR: GOOD FOR YOU HERBERT. I WILL SEND YOU BEFORE THE LEADER GEFTAKYS, AND
SKIPPY, YOU WILL BE MY MOUTHPIECE TO HIM.

SKIPPY: "But thir, I am not the one who thould talk to him, having a thpeech impediment and all".
AUTHOR: "YOU DO NOT HAVE A BROTHER HERE TO SPEAK IN PLACE OF YOU, BESIDES, I WANT YOU
TO BE THE ONE TO ADDRESS HIM, IT'S FUNNIER".
SKIPPY: "Yeth thir".
AUTHOR: "NOW BE ON YOUR WAY. YOU WILL KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE GOTTEN CLOSE, AS
A GIANT HAND WILL APPEAR ON THE SHORE, SYMBOL OF THE CULT YOU PURSUE. I WILL ASK
THE LEADER TO LET THE FOLLOWERS GO, AND IF HE WILL NOT DO SO, A SERIES OF PLAGUES
WILL COME UPON HIS COMPOUND UNTIL HE DOES. SKIPPY, CHECK YOUR BACKPACK,
THERE IS A 3 LAYERED CHOCOLATE CAKE THERE FOR YOU".
JAMES: "In the name of all that's sacred, I...I...(face turning red)
AUTHOR: "YES JAMES?"
JAMES: "Nothing sir."

...to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued....

JAMES: "Thank Heavens we're back on the right track now, making our way up the
river to find the Insane Cult Leader we originally intended to pursue. By the way,
Skippy, Herbert, do you understand what a "cult" is?"

SKIPPY: "I think it'th a group of wacko'th who read their Bible'th all the time,
and thing thongs, and think they are right and everyone elth ith wrong".
James: "Well, not quite Skippy, a cult is.."
HERBERT: "No. A cult is a group of wacko's whose whole lives surround the teachings
of one leader, and one leader alone. They follow him and his teachings, or some "gift"
he has, or "charisma" he exudes. Skippy, you yourself could be a Cult leader, seeing
you have that Backpack from which you pull out your heart's desire. It could be called
"The Cult of the Magic Backpack", and people would so adore you that they would
want to act like you and speak like you. They would actually imitate your preaching style,
getting up, even though they have no impediment, and saying: "Let'th turn in our Bible'th
to Firtht Thamuel, ChapterTheven, Verth Thix, and thudy thome more about the thruggleth
of David and Thaul".

JAMES: "That's actually quite funny Herbert, but we'd best not make fun of Skippy and his
speech impediment right now, seeing how the Author has such a fondness for him and all. But as
I was saying a cult actually is..
SKIPPY: "Hey!! Look what I found in my Backpack, it'th a little televithion! And you don't even
need to plug it in. It hath little earphoneth I can uthe too"(plugging them into the television).
JAMES: "Great Scott, I can't take much more of this, I.."(turning beet red)
HERBERT: "I wouldn't say it sir, you might regret it."
JAMES: "Quite right Herbert".

SKIPPY: "Hey, look, I found a TV game thow. It'th like one of the old one'th from the Game Thow
Network."
JAMES: "A television program on the Amazon? What in heaven's name.."
SKIPPY: "The Game thow hotht ith tharting to talk now"(listening through his headphones).
JAMES: "Let me have a look at that. Why, that's the cult Leader Geftakys. What's he doing
on a television program?"
SKIPPY: "It'th like an old thow that uthed to be on called "Truth OR Conthequenceth", but thith
thow ith called "Truth AND Conthequenceths" inthead.
JAMES: "Truth AND Consequences"?
SKIPPY: "Yeth. Thith guy ith telling Mithter Geftakyth the truth, and admitting he thneaked a
Greek Lexthicon into the compound, becauth he didn't think what he wath teaching wath correct.
Oh, here come the consequenthes. Mithter Geftakyth and some guyth called "Leading Brotherth"
are explaining to thith guy why it wath tho bad to bring the book into the compound. They all look pretty mad, and the guy lookth pretty nervouth. They're telling him hith consequenth is to wath all
of the windowth in the compound. Geeth, They must be pretty thrict about reading Greek there".
JAMES: "We need to get to that compound soon. Things are way out of hand".

SKIPPY: "Hey, another program ith coming on now. It'th bathed on another old televithion thow
too. The man'th got a thon named Bud, and a daughter he callth Kitten. But thith time the thow ith
called "George Knowth Betht".

..to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued...

As the journey up the river continued, it became evident that Geftakys had set up
a small television station in his compound, broadcasting to his followers, and those in
the outlying areas. It was a form of indoctrination, and appeared to broadcast twenty-
four hours a day. Apparently, television was now acceptable to Geftakys, as long as
he was the one being watched. Skippy continued to report what he was seeing as
they made there way closer and closer to the compound.

SKIPPY: "There'th two channels that I can get on the televithion. On one of them there
is a thow that'th kind of funny. George has hith hair died red, and he'th married to a
Cuban woman who uthed to be a bandleader. The show'th called "I Love George".

"The other channel hath a thow that is a take-off on an old televithion comedy from the
pathd. Mithter Geftakyth playth the part of a theriff, and he livth with hith Aunt Bee and
his thon Opie. But there'th a bunch of "broterth" living in the houth with them. The Theriff
made Opie the "Head Thteward" of the houth though, and he givth everyone "conthequenthes"
for thtuff they do wrong. Aunt Bee hathd to paint the houth becauth of forgetting to defrothed
the chicken to make dinner. And the character of Otith ithn't on the thow anymore, becauth
he wath a bad tethtimony for drinking all the time. They had an epithode where everyone runth
Otith out of town, and thellth him not to come back until he repenths. Barney ithn't ath funny
ath he uthed to be becauth he soundth and acths jutht like George doth. I don't like thith new
thow ath much ath the old one."

HERBERT: "Sir, up ahead, there is something on the shore line"(handing James the binoculars).
JAMES: "Why, it is a statue of a Giant Hand. We must be very near to the compound now. Let's
put ashore and we'll walk through the jungle to the compound where we can observe them more
closely".

SKIPPY: "Oh, do we have to go now? There'th a thow coming on that lookth kind of familiar,
accept the narrator ith'nt thmokiing a cigarette like the other guy uthed to. It'th
got the same muthic and everything, but thith thow is called "The Geftakyth Thzone".

And now, with the Author having scraped the bottom of the barrel of stupid humor, the three
adventurer's finally climb onto shore, and make their way to the compound of the Cult Leader
they have sought all along.

...to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued....

Making their way into the dense jungle proved a difficult task indeed. They only had
small pocket knives to use to cut through the foilage. And to top it off they were getting
very hungry. Even Skippy's backpack had become empty, and they were famished. They
began to eat whatever they could find, from small fruit to the small mushrooms that grew on
the damp jungle floor. The mushrooms were chewy, and tasted a bit like chicken, and the
berries gave them enough juice to quench their terrible thirst.

SKIPPY: "I'm really tired of eating thethe berrieth and muthroomth, I with I had a big
Cheetheburger right now".
JAMES: "You and your cheeseburgers. Try not to think of food so much."
HERBERT: "Look over there sir. What is that?"
JAMES: "What Herbert? I don't see anything at all."
HERBERT: "It's right there sir, beside that tree. It looks like a giant, sweaty, number two
pencil on wheels, and it's making a sound like the "shoosh" of a librarian when you're talking too loud."
JAMES: "A sweaty number two pencil on wheels? What in heaven's name..."
SKIPPY: "I thee danthing donut'th, and they're thinging really loud. And when they
move they leave trailth behind them. Oh, look, there'th a moothe over there on a trampoline".
JAMES: "Good heavens!! It's the mushrooms we've been eating!! Stop eating them immediately, because...well hello, mother, how are you? Why are you dressed like an Oompa Loompa and
speaking Polish though?"

After several hours they were once again on their way. They trudged on, cutting vines,
bearing with the mosquitos, and the frightful sounds of the jungle. Finally, they began to hear
sounds. Sneaking up slowly, they peered through the remaining jungle and saw the back row
of lines and lines of chairs with people sitting in them. And the Cult leader Geftakys was speaking
from a podium far ahead up on a stage. The distinct sound of a loud snore erupted from the mouth
of one of the people in the back row.

...to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued...

As they continued to stand just outside the edge of the jungle, they noticed that all of the
men were in three piece suits, and all of the women were in dresses and wore unusual head-
coverings. They then realized that today was Sunday and they had stumbled upon the afternoon
meeting. George continued to speak from the podium, and the people were flipping back and
forth in their Bibles at a swift pace.

The man in the back row began to snore even louder, and quickly from the aisle a brother
came towards him holding a rather odd object. It was a piece of round wood about six feet long,
and on the end of it was a giant hand with the index finger extended in a pointing direction. The
brother jabbed the snoring brother with the pointing hand, and he woke up abruptly with a startled
look on his face. Another brother stood beside the brother with the pointing hand, and put a mark
next to a name in a notebook, presumably the name of the offending snorer. The snorer looked
quite upset, as though he had committed a grave sin of some kind, but then, just as quickly, began
to nod off once again.

Then George asked everyone to stand. He asked everyone to sing one of his favorite hymns, and everyone, in a very saintly manner, sang the words carefully:

"George, George, George of the jungle,
Strong as he can be.
(AHHHHHHHHHH)
Watch out for that tree!"

****Just kidding, they didn't sing that song, but the Author just couldn't resist. Now, back to the story***----

Then George asked everyone to stand.
GEORGE: "I know I've often told the tale to you of when I was a little boy, and the miracle that occurred at that time. But a dear sister has put that momentous occasion to song, which I know we now sing often. But let's all sing it again now, and remember how the Lord does indeed protect and cover his annointed ones."

And then the people began to sing:

"Oh praise be to God for his Giant Hand,
That descended through the stars,
And then moved all of the cars,
rescuing George whom he'd reserved for his holy plans.

"Oh Giant Hand, Oh Giant Hand,
Your story is a legend throughout the land
Oh Giant Hand, Oh Giant Hand,
No other story is quite as Grand.

(silence, and then the high-pitched solo singing voice of a sister):
"A little boy wanders into the street,
His mother cries out from a window above,
A Giant hand descends, Oh glory be,
And rescues little Georgie with a covering of love".

Return to Chorus(everyone singing):
"Oh Giant hand, Oh Giant hand,
Who could know what you had planned?
Oh Giant Hand, Oh Giant hand,
You rescued your annointed and caused him to stand".

GEORGE: "Wasn't that grand? Yes, the Lord always has his annointed ones(he winks), and he
protects and covers them. Look around you dear saints. This is all the work of the Lord. We have
no Pastor here, we're all just brothers and sisters in the Lord. I'm just Brother George. We have no bishops or deacons or Music directors here. We....(George continues on and on, soon he begins to
sound like a droning in the ears, and the distinct sound of three loud snores erupts into the air).

James, Herbert and Skippy are all on the ground in fetal positions, asleep, and beginning to sound
like the "Three Stooges" when they're sleeping. Then two "brothers" with giant hand pokers enter
into the jungle and jab the three of them, awakening them from their slumber. "You'll have to
come with us" one of the brothers says loudly.

...to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued....

James, Herbert and Skippy were led to the compound, and placed in a small room,
with just a table and a few chairs. A picture of George Geftakys was on the wall,
and there was a bookshelf filled with books that were printed versions of "Seminars"
which George had given in the past.

Very quickly the three of them were quite bored, and Herbert suggested they play
some mental games.

HERBERT: "I'll describe a person, place or thing, and you tell me what it is."
SKIPPY: "OK, thith thould be fun."
HERBERT: "I'm thinking of a place, where they have isolated themselves from others,
and they almost, and in some cases do, worship their leader. They do everything he
says, and they revere him to the point of him appearing almost divine in their eyes. There
are stories of miracles that surround him, and legends of him being more wise than
other normal people are. The people read books written by him, listen to tapes of him speaking,
and also watch him on television adoringly. There are miraculous stories concerning his birth,
and supernatural protection when he was a child.

The people believe that they are in the "best place possible" and can think of no other way
to be living. They believe everyone else to be in a far less blessed place, and feel sorry for
them. These people don't realize that they are far behind the times, and literally are starving
inside spiritually. They need to ask permission whenever they plan to go somewhere, and many
of their life decisions are made for them. But many of them bend the knee willingly to this
type of oppression, and bless the very leader who has allowed this to take place in their lives.
Many people in their twenties and thirties are still like children in many ways, because all of their
decisions were made by others above them, to whom they obey.

These people have literally been brainwashed to believe that they, and they alone, are the most
blessed people on earth, while the truth is that almost all of them are in the worst type of famine
imaginable. Though many of them are known as "workers", their labor is a labor of struggle and
uncertainty. The Leader has enslaved them, brianwashed them, and has held them captive for years.
He travels the world with money that has come from these people, while they remain isolated, and
in poverty. But they support his every step, because they believe in his intentions, due to his charisma
and authority.

SKIPPY: "Oh, I get it. You're talking about "The Aththembly" aren't you?
HERBERT: "No, Skippy. Actually I was referring to North Korea, and it's leader Kim Jong LI".

Our thanks to Charlton Heston, who stepped in for one post only to play the
part of a serious Herbert.

....to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued....

As the three of them sat in the room, the door suddenly opened and a voice said "Brother
George will see you now". They were led into a very large room, adorned with tapestry, and
paintings, and many exotic plants. At the far end of the room was a giant chair, like a throne,
and upon it sat George Geftakys, wearing a silk robe with a Giant Hand sewed to the front of
it. Next to George, on a slightly smaller throne, sat his wife Betty, also wearing a silk robe, with
a Giant Hand sewn to the front of it. The three were led to three small chairs sitting directly
in front of George and Betty, and were asked to sit down.

BETTY: "Would you like some freshly brewed coffee?"
JAMES: "Why yes, I would, thank you."(both Herbert and Skippy declined the offer).
Betty leaves the room for a moment, then returns, holding out to James not a cup, but
an enema bag.
JAMES: (Looking startled and a bit bewildered) "I've changed my mind. I'll have some coffee
a bit later I think".
BETTY: (Looking a bit insulted) :"Suit yourself".
GEORGE: "Why were you three spying on us this afternoon? Who are you and what do
you want?"

AUTHOR: (Only James, Herbert and Skippy can hear the voice. George and Betty
do not hear a thing) "Skippy, on the Volcano mount I told you that you would be my
spokesman to address the Cult-Leader Geftakys. Tell him to let his followers go, to stop
teaching his heresy, and to humble himself and repent of all the harm he has caused."
JAMES: "Skippy, Go ahead, repeat the message".

SKIPPY: "Hi Mithter Geftakyth, I'm Thkippy. Thith ith Jameth and Herbert. The Author
sayth for you to let your follwerth go, and to thtop teaching herethy, and to humble
yourthelf and repent from all of the harm that you have cauthed."
GEORGE: "The Author? I know of no author. I serve the Living God, and I teach what
he has given us through his word. And who are you? Your just a little, chubby near-
sighted boy with a very bad speech impediment. (begins to laugh loudly).

AUTHOR: "Skippy, tell him that if he refuses, judgement shall fall upon the compound
by morning".
SKIPPY: "The Author thays that you better lithen to him or judgement will fall on your
compound by morning".
GEORGE:(Laughing even louder) "Get out of my sight!!! Brothers, take them back to the
waiting room!"
The three were led back to the room from which they were retrieved just minutes before,
and given cots to sleep on through the night.

Early the next morning they were awakened by a loud wailing which was taking place in the
camp. Hundreds of voices were calling out and weeping. For they had come to realize that
they had been stricken by a plague: THE PLAGUE OF THE DECAFFEINATED COFFEE. All of
the coffee in the entire camp had turned from regular to decaffeinated. The people, not
getting the morning "rush" from their coffee enemas, were in a state of withdrawal. Also,
realizing that they had a full day of Seminar meetings scheduled for the day, the thought
of facing it without coffee was excrutiating. The only people not weeping were a Mormon
couple who were camping on the outskirts of the compound, and wondered what the
hubub was all about as they drank their orange juice.

It was a terrible day for the people, with hundreds "nodding off" during the meetings and
being poked with the Giant hand pokers. Even the brothers holding the pokers were forced
to poke one another just to stay awake. The cry continued in the camp until the sun began
to set in the evening. Even Betty, herself, strung out from enema withdrawal pleaded with
George to do something, but he refused.

....to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued...

As it became closer to dusk, the Author once again visited and told Skippy to repeat
his earlier message to the leader Geftakys. And they went and appeared before George
and repeated the same message that was given before. But they faced the same pride,
and the same resistance as before. Calling the Decaffeinated coffee a "parlor trick", George
hardened his heart and sent the three back to their room once again, pursuing them with
laughter as they exited.

At midnight they were awakened by the sound of loud music, and went outside to witness
the second of the plagues: THE PLAGUE OF RAPPERS upon the camp. At each bungalow in
the camp stood rappers in groups of three, two with microphones, and one with a turntable.
Then a group of three appeared outside the quarters that George and Betty lived in, and began
to rap loudly:

Chorus:
"Hey, Ho, Georgie let 'em go,
Hey, Ho, Georgie let 'em go,
Hey, Ho, Georgie let 'em go!!"

First Rapper:
"Well we came into da camp just to spy on old "GG"
But our eyes, they be a buggin' at the things that they do see,
People dozin' off in meetin's, and then wakin' up with fears,
And then early in da day injectin' coffee up their rears"

Chorus:
"Hey, Ho, Georgie let 'em go,
Hey, Ho, Georgie let 'em go,
Hey, Ho, Georgie let 'em go!!"

Second rapper:
"And the sisters got dem doilies that they like to wear on top,
But the Bible page 'a flippin', well, it never seems to stop,
And if you diss a leading bro, well, you know you got's to pay,
You be washin' lots a windows, you be workin' all da day"

Chorus:
"Hey, Ho, Georgie let 'em go,
Hey, Ho, Georgie let 'em go,
Hey, Ho, Georgie let 'em go.

First rapper:
You got eight or ten poor people, they be livin' in one crib,
And the brother's got the power, ain't no thing called "women's Lib"
There be way too many meetings, so that no one has no time,
'Cause church be more important, than the family, that's a crime.

Chorus:
"Hey, Ho, Georgie let 'em go,
Hey, Ho, Georgie let 'em go,
Hey, Ho, Georgie let 'em go.

Second rapper:(specifically to George):
"Well, we know you think you special, and you need to be obeyed,
But you be rulin' all da people, and you made them all afraid,
You be hurtin' lots 'o people, and dat debt it must be paid,
It's time to say "I'm sorry's", and repentance must be made".

This rap song, and many more like it continued on throughout the night, keeping the people
awake, and making them miserable. They only had decaffeinated coffee, and now they were
being kept awake by loud music-- it was almost more than they could take. The began to cry out
loud to George to do something, but again, George refused in any way to repent.

..to be continued.

Hello Friends,

Reverend Burt O'Leary here. The Author is on a short leave of absence to run some"errands" and
to take care of some other business. Being a friend of his, I am using his computer in an
effort to help him out. The Author has a habit of doing things for "free", which is a word that
I as a Reverend and businessman detest whole-heartedly.

The cost of running this thread, and continuing to add to it, is enormous, and we simply cannot
continue without your help. This thread is run completely off of the comments, and ideas, and most
importantly, the financial help of our readers. We rely on you alone to keep this thread going, and if the finances don't come in, we simply cannot continue(begins to weep) with this story. I personally find the story to be completely stupid and useless and without any creative flair whatsoever, but it is important to the Author(weeping profusely), and as a friend of mine, I simply do not want to see him fail.

So, please, contribute to the work of this Thread, and keep it going. This month I am making the following offer:
For a donation of $25.00 you will receive the book "Under Cover", a sister's view of the Sunday worship service in the Assembly. It is quite enlightening, and a great read.

For a donation of $50.00 you will receive the book "Under Cover", and also a Reverend Burt O'Leary prayer cloth. This cloth is guaranteed to bring you whatever you ask, and your tears can be easily squeezed from it as it is made of pure cotton.

For a contribution of $100.00 you will receive the book "Under Cover", the Reverend Burt O'Leary prayer cloth, and a "Heavenly Huffer" miniature computer keyboard vacuum cleaner, which will remove even the most minute dust particles from your keyboard.

Come now friends, for the price of a cup of coffee a day, you can keep this thread going. I will thank you and the Author will thank you. The author has no idea I am doing this on behalf of this Thread, but I know that he will thank me once he begins to reap the benefits.

Thank you so very much.

Send all donations to:

The Reverend Burt O'Leary
P.O. box 4506
Barstow, Ca., 92311
No personal checks please.

: Joe Sperling March 22, 2005, 09:40:44 PM

Dear Reverend Burt,

I so very much want to send you a gift and receive my Reverend Burt prayer cloth. It does guarantee I will receive my desired answers doesn't it?

However, I have been sending all my gifts to Kenneth Hagin as "seed money". He has guaranteed me that the Author will be sending me a great harvest real soon.

Please send me a Reverend Burt prayer cloth right away. When the harvest rolls in I will send you a double portion.

Thomas Maddux

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued....

Back in their room at the compound, James and Skippy discussed the Cult
of the Giant Hand, and it's leader.

SKIPPY: "What I don't underthtand ith why the people jutht don't leave. There aren't
any guard towerth, or even any fenceth'th keeping people in".
JAMES: "Well, Skippy, it has a lot to do with what is called "Co-Dependency", and a
character make-up that allows for one to be manipulated."
SKIPPY: "Hey! Look what I found in my back-pack. It'th a hamthter cage, with a wheel
and a water bottle too. The hamthter ith chubby jutht like me, and he'th wearing glathth
too. He'th altho wearing a hat."
THE HAMSTER: "Oy vay, that's not a hat. It's a yamulke."
SKIPPY: "Hey, he can talk."
JAMES: "What in the name of heaven??? A talking jewish hamster with glasses? What on earth could possibly happen next in this totally ridiculous story?"
SKIPPY: "Hey mithter hamthter, what'th your name?
MORDECAI: "My name is Mordecai. The Author has brought me back from a brief stint on another
thread about a year ago to make an attempt at getting a few more laughs. He's trying
to milk me for all I'm worth".

(Mordecai walks over and takes a huge gulp of water out of his bottle, and picks up and tosses a
kernel of Kosher corn into his mouth--crunch, crunch, crunch. He then jumps up into his exercise
wheel and begins jogging slowly, his fat frame bouncing inside the wheel.)
Mordecai: "I need to work out a little today, because tonight the Sabbath begins, and I'll be laying around until Saturday night. But I heard you discussing why people stay in cult-like circumstances and found the subject to be very intriguing.( He continues to jog, the wheel squeeking as he does
so).

"A lot of it does indeed have to do with one's character make-up. If one has very little self-esteem, one is far more likely to be caught up in something like this. Think of a woman in an abusive relationship. Many say 'Why doesn't she just leave?' But psychologically she cannot leave--the very power that is abusing her is also attracting her just the same. Most of the people in the Assembly are still in many ways like children. Think of a child who is being abused verbally, or physically at home. That child cannot leave, because he is depending on the very people who are abusing him.

In many ways these same characteristics appear in people "entrapped" in the Assembly. They want to leave, but are also attracted to that which is abusing them. They are entrapped in a sense by George, but far more by what he represents. He has a very powerful instrument at his disposal--it is called the Bible. But what holds the people in is not the Bible itself, but George's interpretation of
it. So, in many ways the people themselves are at fault for "allowing" themselves to be treated as
they are. But this does not take away the culpability of George Geftakys and those under him for the
spiritual abuse of hundreds of people in that system." (gets out of the wheel and picks up a sunflower seed which he cracks with his teeth, and eats it quickly).

SKIPPY: "Thankth Mordecai. I didn't underthtand a thing you jutht thaid, but hearing it from a hamthter
was interethting. It remindth me of when Jameth, Herbert and I ate thothe muthroomth."

JAMES: "Well, I could expound even more on what you've said but.....I can't believe I'm talking
to a hamster. This is absolutely ridiculous!! By the way, where is Herbert?"
SKIPPY: "Oh, he'th in the other room doing thomething called a "Chapter Thummary".
JAMES: "A Chapter Summary? Good Lord! I knew I shouldn't have let Herbert out of my sight!"

..to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued...

James and Skippy walked into the next room and found Herbert sitting at a desk,
and writing his "Chapter Summary".

HERBERT: "Hello James, Hello Skippy, are you rejoicing? Praise the Lord."(his eyes
looked different than before, and he was speaking a bit robotically).
JAMES: "Can I see what you're working on Herbert?" (looks at Skippy and with
his eyes motions for him to move closer).
HERBERT: "Well, yes of course. I'm working on my "meaning" at this point in time
as the brothers showed me, and I'm almost done."
JAMES: "Now, Skippy!!!(James and Skippy grab Herbert and wrestle him from the table.)

After a little persuasion, Herbert finally dropped his plans of becoming an Assembly member.

HERBERT: "Mmmpfff, Mmmpfff...ur...Mmmpfff"
JAMES: "Alright, Herbert. I'll take the gag out and untie the ropes now, if you promise not
to venture out alone into the compound ever again".
HERBERT: (GASP!!) "Certainly sir. I don't know what got into me sir".

THE AUTHOR: "Skippy, I want you once again to go address the cult-leader Geftakys and tell him
to let his followers go, stop teaching heresy, and apologize for what he has done".

And once again James, Herbert and Skippy approached, addressed and repeated the Author's
request, and once again were sent away by Geftakys, who laughed at them about the "plagues"
calling them "tricks", and "of no consequence at all".

Again, at midnight, the three were awakened by screams coming from the compound. As they
ventured outside in their bare feet, Herbert let out a loud wail as he felt the presence of the
third plague upon the compound: THE PLAGUE OF YODELING SLUGS.

JAMES: "Good Heavens!! There must be thousands of them, and they're crawling all over the
compound, and making very strange noises!!"

Screams pierced the night, as a sister ran by pulling at the slugs which had crawled onto her
while she was sleeping and were enmeshed in her hair. And the slugs began to let out very
strange sounds such as "Yodel layhee, yodel layhee, yodel layhee hoo!!"

JAMES: "Why, they're yodeling. Please let me out of this story. I just witnessed a chubby
Jewish talking hamster, and now yodeling slugs. The ridiculousness of this story has finally
hit rock bottom. I want out, and I want out now!!"

Then the door to George's compound flew open, and out ran George covered in slugs, with
one of them at his ear yodeling loudly.

George: "OK!! OK!! I'll let the people go. In the morning, I'll let the people go!!" (He was followed
outside by Betty, who was frazzled, and covered with slug trails, and had her fingers in her ears
in an effort to block out the yodeling, which had become even louder. It seemed to echo through-
out the whole compound.)

SKIPPY: "That yodeling maketh me hungry for a swith cheeth thandwich and thome hot chocolate".

..to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued...

In the morning, with the yodeling slugs having slithered off, but leaving their
shiny tracks behind, George addressed the people.

GEORGE: "I have been asked three times to 'let my followers go'. I must say that none
of you are 'my followers', and never have been, but are followers of God and not men."
(many "amens!!" were heard coming from the crowd).
"And how can I let you go when nothing is keeping you here? Do you see any locked gates,
or guards, or fences of any kind? You have always been free to go. But I want to state right
now that if you want to go, then go. I give my permission. (At that statement many in the
crowd began to turn to go to their bungalows to get their belongings).

"But I must warn you. In this place you are under a covering of the Lord, and an annointing, that
you will not find out there, or in any other church. If you leave this place you are leaving God's
best for you, and settling for something less. You will leave a covering, and walk straight into the
clutches of an enemy who wants to destroy you. And believe me, he wants you to settle for
something less, and then stagnate, and become totally ineffective for God. There are very few
who choose to continue, to fight the good fight, and accept God's will for their lives. It's so easy
to settle for less--to stay on the other side of the Jordan, to be a shallow Christian, and to go back
to your Wednesday Bible study, and church on Sunday morning. It's easy to leave the commitment,
and the dedication needed to become a holy people, a special people, and to be part of God's "Little Flock". Many are called but few are chosen. It takes a lot of commitment to become
one of God's chosen ones. Many have begun well, but then have decided to leave "God's place",
and not to follow "God's pattern", and because of this God can no longer use them. I, myself, choose to continue on the Journey, and to continue with this ministry. I want to be one of God's valiant ones, and an overcomer. But if you want to leave you are free to go."

After this statement, those who had begun to turn towards the bungalows stopped in their tracks,
and turned back around. Many had a look of fear and uncertainty in their faces. Some sincerely wanted to leave---but did they want to "settle for less"? Did they want God to think less of them?
Did they want to stay on the other side of Jordan? Did they want to be sub-standard Christians? And did they want to leave "God's covering" and expose themselves to an enemy out to destroy them? This was too great a decision to make for all of them, and so they stayed, despite the fact that they could have walked right out of the camp at that moment.

That evening Skippy again repeated the same message, and again George repeated the same words
to them. And again, in the morning the three were awakened by loud crying in the camp. They were witness to the fourth plague: THE PLAGUE OF THE INVISIBLE BIBLES. The people could physically "feel" their Bibles, and flip the pages, but they could not see them. The people looked strange with their arms out as they were holding something, and attempting to read the Bibles,
but unable to. Many were distraught, as the Bible to them in many ways was like Skippy's magic backpack, where they could instantly get what they wanted, or be surprised on a daily basis, as
they would interpret certain verses to mean what they wanted them to mean. Many had a habit of flipping their Bibles open and reading wherever their fingers fell, just as George led them to flip their Bibles from book to book in a rapid manner to support whatever doctrine he was teaching that day. As the people had awakened that morning they reached for their Bibles. The moment they touched them they became invisible.

To many of the people The Bible was actually like a "magic book", or even like an "exercise book" which they could use to become "more Spiritual". Some felt for instance, that if they read Psalm 51 enough times, that through some mystical means they would gain a higher plain of Christian existence. Through this "Cycle of Devotion" or "Selfer's Prayer" much gain could be made in the Christian life. Many had actually come to believe(though they may not have really realized it yet) that the prayers, and daily rituals were actually changing them, much like those who pray the rosary think they are being changed. They were actually trying to change themselves, rather than allowing the Spirit of God to change them by simply accepting the words "It is finished".

It was very sad to see the people crying, and grasping at their Bibles, and holding them despite the fact that there was no way to read them. Many cradled them as though a book filled with paper pages had some power. The Bible itself had actually become an idol, which many refused to put down though they were now useless. And the crying continued throughout the day until it was dusk. George himself continued to hold onto his invisible Bible, and finally stated once again "OK, I'll let the people go tomorrow".

SKIPPY: "Hey, that wathn't funny. I kinda liked the Yodeling thlugth better".

..to be continued.

: Tom Maddux March 30, 2005, 10:04:44 PM

Joe,

Better and better. You have obviously done some thinking about your, (and our) assembly experience.

As I type this, I am in my study. In 1989 GG and an "elder" sat in this room and hammered me for three hours on two themes: "Brother Tom, you have given way to Satan in your mind." "Brother Tom, you are in danger of leaving God's best for you."

However, they were doing me a great favor with realizing it. My family was listening outside the door! :o They finally got to see what I had been experiencing in the brother's/worker's meetings for years.

Tom

It is really interesting the way God works. In 1989 the group in Champaign was formally recognized as an "assemlbly".
I knew it was doomed to failure when the "responsible brothers" were announced.
It really opened my eyes to a few things.
I had just bought a house in Champaign and was in the strange position of being a single brother in the assemblies with a three-bedroom house, and its sole occupant.
That was of course my choice.
I had absolutely no interest in establishing any sort of "brother's house" and made that abundantly clear to Bill Bradbury who was most surprised at my decision.
I think this was the point at which I simply stopped attending meetings regularly.
It seemed to my that I had much better things to do.
Funny, while the Lord was moving you out in Califronia, he was also easing me out in Champaign at the same time.
Too bad I did not know what you were going through at the time for we might have offered each other mutual support. :)
But seriously, the thing about George's henchmen that I found the most remarkable (and contemptible) was how they were so willing to take a knife to the back of folk they knew full well were good people and did not deserve the kind of treatment Geftakys was prescribing. This is really where I think a number of them literally sold their souls...
I gotta tell you Tom, I do not know how I would ever be able to ever repsect men like these ever again...
I am now getting inqury letters from the CMA brass over what happened there ( I guess the secretary of the governing board got wind of it) but I am sending my money elsewhere...that's all water under the bridge so far as I am concerned.
Verne

GEFTAKYLYSPE NOW continued....

James, Herbert and Skippy were again back in the room that the three of them shared,
and Skippy had turned on the little television he had found in his backpack while in the
canoe on the river.

SKIPPY: "Hey look, they're thtill broadcathting their televithion showth. Brother George
ith in all of them, and thome of the characterth are played by the leading brotherth. Motht
of them are copieth of old showth that uthed to be on. Look, Here'th one now. Oh, I
remember thith one. But George ith playing one of the partth. Thith ith funny, he hath a
mohawk haircut and he'th wearing a bunch of gold chainth. The thow ith called "The G Team".
HERBERT: "Turn up the volume, would you Skippy."
(Skippy turns up the volume just as George begins to speak)
George:(wearing mohawk and gold chains): "I PITY THE FOOL who doesn't have a morning time each day".
JAMES: "Alright, now this is completely ridiculous. George would never wear a mohawk, or all of those
gold chains, and never in a million years would he talk like Mr. T."
SKIPPY: "Oh, here's another show I recognithe. The man liveth with hith son in the old wetht. He'th walking down the center of the thtreet. But in thith one he pullth a Bible out and startth
flipping the pageth. It'th called "The Bibleman", and George playth the main character. Most people in the town carry little New Testaments, but he carries a full-sized Bible instead. That's why he'th called "The Bibleman". Boy, that Lucath McCain can really flip through a Bible fast. And his son Mark hath no mother, and then there'th the Theriff, Micah.."
JAMES: "This is preposterous. I need to go take a walk."

..to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued....

James headed outside to go for a walk. It was humid outside, and very dark. The
sound of birds and screeching monkeys filled the night air, as he walked between the
bungalows inside the compound. The evening "Tape Study" had come to an end, and
many of the members were doing chores, or eating dinner. "What a strange place this
truly is" thought James, "the amount of meetings these people go to is flabberghasting.
Bible Studies, Tape studies, Prayer meetings, Prayer Towers, All Night's of Prayer, even
short prayer meetings for the Prayer meeting itself. All of their time is taken up in going
to meetings, or with things surrounding the Assembly."

As he walked past one of the bungalows, a sound drew his attention. It came from a room
with an open window. James really didn't want to eavesdrop, but his curiosity overcame him,
and he approached the window. He peered in and saw a man in his early twenties, kneeling
beside his bed and praying. James realized now that what he had heard was the sound of
weeping. The man continued his prayer: " Please forgive me Lord. Please. I'm so sorry, so
very sorry. I don't want to be rebellious--I try not to be, I really do. I want to submit to the
brothers and be obedient, but sometimes I just can't. I'm trying so hard to be a holy person.
I want to be with all of my heart. I pray the "Selfer's prayer" daily( note:to some known as "Cycle of Devotion"--the author) and go to all of the meetings. But it seems the more I do the more I fail, and I just can't overcome my sins.(He begins to weep loudly, with tears flowing from his eyes, and mucous dripping from his nose) Please God please, don't shut the door on me. Please. George
says that we can so anger you by our rebellion that You might shut the door on us and turn us
away, just like the children of Israel.(bursts forth again with more loud weeping and crying). Please
don't be angry with me God. How I wish(groans and cries) You were like the Good Shepherd I
once knew, who said that I could never fail, who said he was preparing a mansion for me as though I was assured of going to it. But now, You say that it's possible I might not make it, that the door might be closed.(moans loudly and cries, his body shuddering as he does so). I want to change, I want to be an overcomer, I really do. Help me God, help me. Please forgive me for all I've done wrong or displeased you". (puts his face into the bedsheets and weeps uncontrollably).

James pulled back from the window with great sadness. He had been watching a very sincere soul,
who obviously believed in God, and wanted to serve him. But he was also a soul that was tormented
and filled with fear. He had been viewing a soul that was trying very hard not to offend God in any
way, which was impossible, for he is an imperfect mortal. "Why, He is looking at God as though He is
a combination of the God of Mount Sinai, and the merciful God of the New Testament" thought
James. "He is trying to perfect himself through this regimen that everyone attempts to follow
here" he thought, "and that is absolutely impossible to do. He thinks by the much work and prayer,
that he is being changed by all of it into a more Spiritual person. What a shame."

"This very environment, and this very teaching, is designed to keep one trapped in Romans
Chapter 7" thought James."As long as this young man thinks he can perfect himself, or please
God by his service and commitment, he will view God as more of a taskmaster than a Good
Shepherd of his sheep. He will strive and strive, but fail and fail, and continue to cry out "Oh wrteched man that I am, Who shall deliver from this body of death? because the very teaching
of George causes one to remain in Romans 7 and not be released from it. How subtle the enemy
is when he leaks in his heresy, leading God's children away from his TRUE character, and to a false
god who resembles him in some ways, but traps them in dreaded legalism and spiritual barreness.

They are being taught that they are being lifted up to a higher spiritual life, a greater vision, a greater glory, but they are in reality being stifled by pride and elitism, which comes from the very leader himself. When he teaches that we are "glorified" due to OUR obedience, rather than the clear
teaching of Romans 8, which speaks of glorification in the past tense, as an accomplished fact. It is
an amazing irony that "The Rest" that George speaks of striving and working for, is actually entered into by realizing that there is nothing that we can do to get there, and is simply the result of the
words "It is finished". These people will never enter into Romans 8, because the teaching does not
allow for it. We must get these people out of here. James began walking back towards his bungalow.

...to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued...

(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!)
HERBERT: (heads towards front door, glancing at the clock he notices it's after
midnight) "Yes, What do you want?"
MAN AT DOOR: "Good Evening sir, may I ask you if you smoke?"
HERBERT: "What??? Sir, It's after Midnight."
MAN AT DOOR:"I represent John Hancock Life Insurance sir, and would like to tell you all
about a Term Life Policy that is well worth the money, and if you don't smoke their
are some added bonuses."
HERBERT: "Excuse me, but...
MAN AT DOOR: "If you are between the ages of 35 and 55, we have an excellent policy
with a double indemnity clause, and you pay only pennies a day. Please let me come in and
share more with you about these wonderful plans"(begins to enter residence).
HERBERT:(pushes the man back with one hand and shuts the door)"Oh, what a horrible
nuisance."(From outside the door: "Sir, please reconsider. Everyone needs life insurance!!!").
HERBERT: "Just go away and let me get some sleep".

(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!)
HERBERT: (Walks toward door shaking his head and his face turning red) "I told you I don't want
any Life Insurance!"he shouts, then opens the door.
TWO WOMEN: (First woman speaks) "Good evening sir. Did you know that many now living will
never die?"
HERBERT: "What? Who are you? I don't want to buy any Life Insurance".
SECOND WOMAN: "Oh, we're not selling Life Insurance sir. We're here to tell you about God's
Kingdom on earth. Imagine a future with no war, or famine or death. A totally restored planet
earth where everyone lives in harmony and peace."
HERBERT: "You are going around door to door at one in the morning and telling people about God's Kingdom on earth? Are you lunatics or something?"
FIRST WOMAN: "No sir, we are Jehovah's Witnesses. Please take a copy of the Watchtower magazine. In it you will read many wonderful things about the coming new world. The Lord will
be coming back very soon to set up his Kingdom. He returned Invisibly in 1928 to begin preparations for the end of this age and beginning of the next."
HERBERT: "I thought he returned invisibly in 1914 according to your theology, if I'm not mistaken."
SECOND WOMAN: "Why no sir, it was in 1928, and many living at that time are part of the special
144,000 that will accompany Jesus in Heaven".
HERBERT: "Sorry, it's way too late for this. Please go bother someone else".(shuts door) From outside: "You'll be sorry one day sir. All that do evil will be annihilated!!"
HERBERT: "What in the name of Heaven is going on?

(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!)
HERBERT: "Go away!!!"
(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!)
HERBERT: (Opens door angrily): "What??"
LITTLE KID: "Hello sir!! I'm trying to win a trip to Hawaii. If I sell enough subscriptions I can do it. Please help me to win sir. Here's a list of the magazines you can buy. It doesn't cost that much and...
HERBERT: "I'm not interested. (Just then Herbert looks into the surrounding compound and sees that every door in the place has people knocking on them. There are Jehovah's Witnesses, Insurance salesman, vacuum cleaner salesmen, Moonies, Newspaper sales people, etc. etc. He then
realized that he was seeing the 5th Plague on the compound The PLAGUE OF THE LATE NIGHT VISITORS. And were they ever persistent!! Some were saying loudly "If George doesn't let you go, we'll see you tomorrow night!!")

So once again the people in the compound were being subjected to a sleepless night. And the thought of a return visit of these aggravating late night knockers drove the people to complain
loudly to George. And once again George said he'd let them go the following morning.

(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!)
HERBERT: (Opens door) "Please go away!! Please!!
PIZZA GUY: "I have a Pepperoni Pizza with Pineapple and extra cheese, Large."
HERBERT: "I didn't order a pizza, I..
SKIPPY: "Oh, that'th not part of the plague. I found an add in my backpack for late
night delivery from "Amaththon Piththa". Here'th your money thir. Thankth. Oh boy, thith ith gonna be good."

HERBERT: "Oh, for Heaven's sake!!"

...to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued...

ALEX TREBEK: "And here are today's categories: THE BIBLE, TEACHING AIDS,
STEWARDSHIPS, ASSEMBLY LINE, VEGETABLES and LET'S JOIN UP.
Steve, you go first..."

STEVE: "I'll take STEWARDSHIPS for $200.00 Alex.
ALEX: "Using a squeegee or a paper towel, you remove the dirt to restore transparency".
BOB: "What is cleaning the windows, Alex?"
ALEX: "That's correct Bob. Back to you."
BOB: "Let's try ASSEMBLY LINE for $200.00 Alex".
ALEX: "Term used in response to one deciding to use their own brain to make a decision."
HENRY: "What is 'Rebellion is as the sin of Witchcraft' Alex?".
ALEX: "That's correct Henry. Please choose again".
HENRY: "Let's go with ASSEMBLY LINE for $400.00 Alex".
ALEX: "The reason there are no sisters appearing on this show"
STEVE: "What is 'Because men are in authority and take all responsibility', Alex?"
ALEX: "Very Good Steve, and we go back to you."
STEVE: "l'll try TEACHING AIDS for $200.00 Alex".
ALEX: "Consisting of a Title one gives it, it consists of three steps which lead one to a greater
understanding of Biblical truths."
HENRY: "What is a 'Consequence', Alex?"
ALEX: "No, I'm sorry Henry".
BOB: "What is a 'Chapter Summary', Alex?"
ALEX: "Good Bob, go again."
BOB: "I'll try VEGETABLES for $200.00 Alex.
ALEX: "This vegetable is usually garbed in three layers, or has a covering on top".
BOB: "What is an 'Assembly Member', Alex?"
ALEX: "Very good Bob, please go again".
BOB: "Let's go with VEGETABLES again for $400.00 Alex."
ALEX: "When rubbed the wrong way they turn red and let out a threatening sound"
STEVE: "What is a 'Leading Brother', Alex?"
ALEX: "Good Steve, Please go again".
STEVE: "Let's try LET'S JOIN UP for $200.00 Alex".
ALEX: "They came up the Amazon but now are our newest members. They'll be moving
into a Brother's house today".
BOB: "Who are 'James, Herbert and Skippy', Alex?"
ALEX: "Very good Bob."

A loud scream pierces the room.
HERBERT: "James, what's wrong?? Are you OK??"
JAMES: "Oh thank heavens, I just had a horrible dream. I'm alright now."
SKIPPY: "Me too. I dreamed that I wath the only perthon on earth that wath alive, and all
the McDonald'th were clothted. It wath one of the thcarietht dreamth I've ever had."

..to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYSE NOW continued...

SKIPPY: "Today were going to do what'th called 'fry an egg'. Firtht we get out a frying pan and
put thome butter or oil in it. I'm uthing what'th called mathola corn oil. Now I turn the heat on
under the pan. The pan ith already getting hot, tho I lift up the pan and turn it back and forth
like thith to help thrpead out the oil evenly on the pan.

Good. The oil ith all thpread out now, so I get the carton of eggth out of the refrigerator(reaches in and gets the eggs), and I open it. Oh good, I've got eight of them left, and Jameth and Herbert are thtill athleep, so I'm going to eat all of them. I'm going to make an egg thandwich. Look over there--thee, I've already put out four thliceth of bread, and thpread mayonnaithe on two of them. Tho, now I crack the eggth open with thith thpatula(cracks one open). I let the egg drop into the pan without getting any thellth in it or they get crunchy. (He proceeds to crack the other seven into the pan). I break the yoketh open in the pan becauth I want the eggth to be flat when I put them into the thandwich. Now I flip them over and cook the other thide. Yummy, they look really good.

Now, I lift them out of the pan and put them on the thliceth of bread like thith. Nextht I thprinkle thalt and pepper on them like thith(puts a heavy coating of pepper on the eggs). You can add a thlice of onion if you want, but I'm going to put a thlice of American cheethe on each thandwich.
And (munch, munch munch) that'th how you fry and egg and make a thandwich...

JAMES: "Skippy, who are you talking to?"
SKIPPY: "To them."
JAMES: "To whom?"
SKIPPY: "To the readerth of Geftakylypthe Now. There were five plagueth and then everything thtopped. I figured I'd fill in for the Author, thince he obviouthly fell into a ditch or thomething."
HERBERT: "Hey, what happened to all of the eggs? I was going to make us all breakfast".
SKIPPY "I think it wath the thixtht plague on the compound, the PLAGUE OF THE MITHTHING
EGGTH. Maybe all of the eggth in the camp are gone...that'th thcary".
HERBERT: "Plague of the missing eggs, huh? Why do you have yolk on your face, and why
are their eggshells in the trash can?"
SKIPPY: "I don't know. The author workth in mythteriouth wayth though."
HERBERT: "Why you little..."
THE AUTHOR: "Skippy, James, Herbert, it's time".
JAMES: "Time for what? Is Skippy going to find some eggs in his backpack?"
SKIPPY: "Oh there you are. I wath thtarting to think you weren't going to finith the thtory".
THE AUTHOR: "Go before George and repeat what you have before".
HERBERT: "Sir, after that fifth plague we had, have you sent a sixth? Just curious.
THE AUTHOR: "No, there have been no further plagues."
SKIPPY: "How 'bout thothe Patriot'th?"

.....to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued....

SKIPPY: "George Geftakyth, why don't you let the people go? You thay they are free to
leave, but your teachingth hold them through fear. The Author sayth to thtop teaching
herethy, and to repent of the wrong you are doing. Do you want more plagueth?"

GEORGE: "As I said before, I know of no author, and no, I will not let the people
go--they can always leave if they want to. Let them leave, and go back to all of
the shallow churches, and shallow teachings, and shallow lives. Let them leave the
covering, and the blessed place, and God's pattern, and return to the churches which
displease The Lord. Now, get out of my sight, I have better things to do."

SKIPPY: "OK (takes another bite off a chocolate brownie he has in his hand), but you'll
be thorry."

At about midnight, James, Herbert and Skippy were awakened by the sounds of many voices
outside in the compound. Some of the voices sounded angry, while others sounded profoundly
sad, while others were weeping. As they made their way outside they were witness to the
6th plague upon the compound: THE PLAGUE OF THE EX-ASSEMBLY MEMBERS.

From one end of the compound a voice said loudly "I spent years in bondage due to your teachings George, let these people go". And another voice said "I never had children because I was counseled not to marry". "I went through years of abuse because I was counseled to submit to
my husband, despite his cruelty" said another voice weeping. "As a child I was forced to sit in silence through entire meetings" said another voice. "I wanted to become a minister, but was told that Bible schools were not of God" said another voice.

"I labored under the fear that God had shut the door on me due to my disobedience, because of your teaching regarding the Inheritance" said another. "I couldn't go to church for years, or even read my Bible because I felt I had failed God so badly when I left" said another man choking back his tears. "I lived for years as though I was a little kid, with 3 other brothers in one room, and I was twenty-five years old. I had to ask permission in order to even go take a walk". "My whole view of God became warped under your ministry-- he became a God who demands performance, and who draws back his love if you are not fully committed or fail in some way" cried out another voice. "You turned Jesus into a Jesus/Moses, filled with rules and requirements and legalism" said another voice.

Some other voices cried out in return "Go away you whiners! You've allowed bitterness to rule your lives. The Assembly wasn't all that bad, and I don't believe what some of you say happened there at all. It's your own fault for being there, and you are exaggerating the abuse you suffered for some sympathy. Sure, George may not be perfect, and has failed in some ways, but we have all learned
wonderful things under his ministry. You should be thanking God for what you supposedly suffered
there, and have hearts of forgiveness, not accusation".

Then a voice said quietly "My brother committed suicide due to the rigid stress of the Assembly and his own self-perception. He felt he had failed God so greatly that there was no way back. And no one really showed pity, the only thing that was important was the "Testimony", and so my brother was swept under the rug and forgotten."

Many, many, more voices spoke throughout the night with their complaints, and memories of past abuse, and a longing that all of the people in this camp could escape what they had gone through. Oh, how they wanted George to repent so that he would harm no one else through his teaching and manipulation of the Scriptures. The voices had a profound affect upon the people in the camp, as they saw the mass of ex-members who said similar things about George, and the leadership, and their days enmeshed in legalism. Many of them wept, while others staunchly defended George and his system, and claimed there was never any abuse at all. But still, George would not let the people go.

SKIPPY: "Hey, thith ithn't funny at all. I thought thith wath thuppothed to be a funny thtory. Thith ith really thad. I don't feel very well at all. Hey Author, make it thtop, pleathe?"

THE AUTHOR: "No, Skippy, it isn't funny is it? You see, Skippy, You and James and Herbert are all characters I've invented. I can make you all do silly things, and place things in your backpack to find, and go where I want you to go. You are part of a world I created. But I live in the real world Skippy, that was created by the greatest Author of them all. He doesn't create characters for silly reasons, but as part of a vast plan, and his heart is filled with an infinite amount of love. But there is one character I have placed in this silly story of mine that comes from my world. That is George Geftakys. And he is very real, and he has caused a great deal of pain to many people, through egotism and pride, and he has warped the Scriptures of the greatest Author of all and sent many into bondage because of that. THE PLAGUE OF THE EX-ASSEMBLY MEMBERS is actually a real plague in many ways, in that there are many witnesses to the wrong teaching, and wrong conduct that occured there.

The members themselves are to be blamed for allowing themselves to continue in such bondage, but George himself has much to answer for, and truly needs to repent for the environment he created, and the pride that continues even to this day, abiding in his heart. And there are those
in bondage wanting to escape, but trapped by a manipulation of Scripture itself--these need to be set free."

SKIPPY: Thankth for exthplaining that to uth, (reaches into a bag of Fritos, takes a handful and
shoves them in his mouth) but I like the thilly thtuff a lot better. I liked it when you made me thee a moothe jumping on a trampoline. I'll take that over a group of upthet people any time".

THE AUTHOR: "I know you would Skippy. Go check your backpack. I think you'll like what you find there."

...to be continued.

GEFTAKYLYPSE NOW continued....

At Midnight James, Herbert and Skippy were awakened; but not by a noise--in fact,
it was the total absence of any sound which awakened them. There were no sounds
of monkeys or birds, or any of the other usual sounds associated with the jungle. It
was what some might call a deafening silence which descended upon the camp.

The three went outside into the cool night air and saw a most amazing sight. There in
the middle of the compound was a Giant Hand. It was facing palm upwards, and upon
it's palm were hundreds of bottles filled with fluid. The silence had led everyone outside,
even George and Betty. A look of utter disbelief was upon his face. He had told the
story of a Giant hand rescuing him as a child, but seeing it now actually caused a look of
great fear to fall upon him. A voice then spoke loudly "George, come forward!"

But George recoiled, and everyone fell back in fear. But the Giant Hand moved closer to
George. Unknown to George was what was contained in the bottles the Giant Hand held
carefully. They were tears. Now, some tears, though salty to the taste, are actually filled with
sweetness, such as a tear which comes from laughter, or a tear shed in mercy or forgiveness,
or a tear shed in gratefulness or thankfulness to God.

But there are tears which are both salty to the taste, and also bitter indeed. Most of the
bottles held these type of tears. They are tears which are shed needlessly--shed through
false guilt, or from abuse, or fear. They are tears shed through pleading prayers of forgiveness
for sins which are not actually sins at all, or for wrongs committed which were not actually
wrongs at all. There were tears in these bottles shed for not being able to submit to authority,
when this authority was never given by God in the first place. There were tears of shame,
shed from a twisted manipulation of Biblical precepts upon the person, which led to a grief
that God had never intended at all. These were all tears caused by a system which used guilt
and fear to manipulate the members, and make them submit to an authority and a teaching
that was never taught by God. They were bitter tears indeed and quite caustic in nature.

Then the Giant Hand took one of the vials and poured it upon George. He let out a scream,
and grabbed his head where the tears had fallen. There were no burns, but George actually
felt what the person who had shed them once felt, and it was excruciating. The Giant Hand
poured another vial upon George, and again he cried out. This was the final plague upon the
camp--THE PLAGUE OF THE GIANT HAND. The Giant hand then poured vials upon those in
Leadership and upon Betty too, and they all cried out as they felt first hand the false guilt
and suffering many of them had caused others. Again, and again the Hand poured vials upon
George, who was beginning to weep.

Then the Giant Hand began to pour vials of tears from George's own family members upon
him, and these appeared to hurt the worst of all. For these were tears of bitterness, mixed
with great sadness too, for they had suffered under the man, but also loved him. George
began to fall to his knees, and began weeping very loudly. He was feeling years of pain, and
uneeded suffering, and false guilt, and loss, and confusion, and most terribly of all, despair.
The people had brought much of this upon themselves for allowing it, and living under it,
but the realization that he had created it was overwhelming. The tears were burning George
deeply, to the very core of his heart. Finally, he fell face down upon the ground and cried out
"What have I done? What great hurt have I caused?" And he began to pray loudly for forgive-
ness to God. Then he began to ask everyone around him for forgiveness, as the tears streamed
down his reddened face.

The pride and arrogance were slowly disappearing. The "legend" of the man was shrinking. And amazingly, the more he asked for forgiveness, the more the Giant Hand began to shrink too. As the legend of the man and his pride began to shrink, likewise did the Giant Hand. Soon, the shell of a once proud and arrogant man lay upon the grass, replaced by a repentant and sorrowful man,
who was never meant to be a leader in the first place. And the Giant Hand, and it's legend were
now gone, having shrunk into nothingness. And the repentant Leaders and the others went and
picked George up and led him back into his bungalow. And the people began to pack for their long journey home.

*******************************************************************************
Of course, this was all a fairy tale, and the way I would like to see things end. Who knows? Nothing is impossible with God. Maybe George really will repent one day.

The author would like to thank Brad Pitt, who played the part of Skippy, Al Pacino, who played the part of Herbert, and Sean Penn, who played the part of James.

JAMES: (pulling up in a brand new Mercedes) "Herbert, let's get down to the yacht right away, there are some T-Bone steaks waiting for us".
Herbert: (getting in car) "Off we go. By the way, where's Skippy?"
JAMES: "Oh, he's off to New York. He got a job there."

IN NEW YORK:
SKIPPY: "Gee, Thankth mithter Trump. I alwayth wanted to be your athithtant".
TRUMP: "Your welcome Skippy. Hey, what you got in that backpack?"

THE END

AssemblyBoard

General Discussion => Any and All Topics => : Joe Sperling March 02, 2005, 09:25:29 PM