Bluejay
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« on: April 01, 2003, 08:58:46 pm » |
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Disneyland announced this morning that Timothy "What the Heck are Taxes" Geftakys has been hired to fill its recent vacancy.
Disnleyland spokesperson Goofy had this to say about the hiring:
"We feel Timothy Geftakys is a perfect fit for the Disneyland Theme Park based on the Mickey Mouse way he has lived his life. He lies a lot like Pinochhio, and frankly, was the only candidate who could fit into the Porky Pig Costume."
When pressed by a reporter about the past history of Tim Geftakys, Disneyland Human Relations Director Snow White added the following:
"We believe in putting our employees in a situations where they can succeed. Based on this philosophy, we have decided to move Mary Poppins, Miss Piggy, and Minnie Mouse to a different side of the park to avoid any potential harrassment law suits.
Tim Geftakys was unavailable for comment for this story as he was busy emptying the funds from the Lords Treasury into his personal bank account.
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Heide
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« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2003, 10:24:07 pm » |
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Darn it Bob,
Some of us were going to come down from SLO the end of this month and go to Disneyland... Now I have to be scared of being harassed by Porky Pig!!!
Very clever and very funny!
Heide
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mkoley
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« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2003, 12:38:53 am » |
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Well, if this gig fails, he could always become a used car salesman. Somehow, I get the feeling that he would have no trouble adapting certain sales..(deception, misleading, etc.) techniques. Couldn't you picture him in an undersized 70's checker-suit with dark shinny sunglasses. Sounds to me like a perfect fit.
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Matt
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« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2003, 12:41:33 am » |
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Excuse me while I wipe away the tears from my eyes from uncontrollable laughing (inside the school computer lab!). Thank you for the laugh, I needed that.
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David Mauldin
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« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2003, 02:12:28 am » |
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I thnk a more fitting position would be to follow around the clysdales with a scooper!
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Bluejay
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« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2003, 09:11:32 pm » |
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I thnk a more fitting position would be to follow around the clysdales with a scooper!
He originally applied for that position, but was turned down because management was afraid he might try to eat the clysdales. |
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Joe Sperling
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« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2003, 01:56:33 am » |
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Funny you mention Disneyland. I had heard that the Geftakys's were opening their own "Assemblyland". The first ride is "Pirates of the Brethren" and features the Lord's treasury box being absconded by two pirates who look remarkably like George and Betty.
There's also the "Haunted Mansion" just like Disneyland, but is an exact replica of George's House in Fullerton and every closet has a skeleton in it. The closets fly open and the skeletons say such things as "rejoice brother!" or other such things.
There's also "Honey, I shrunk the Seminar" which is hilarious as Rick Moranis accidentally shrinks a Seminar gathering. It's actually a blessing in disguise though, as George's message gets shorter too.
There's also "House of the Living Zombies" and has many people dressed in suits and with head-coverings on which follow the patrons around scaring the living daylights out of them. It's planned to open this September--don't miss it.
--Joe
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Bluejay
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« Reply #7 on: April 08, 2003, 03:15:20 am » |
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Joe,
That was one of the funniest things I have ever read!!!
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Joe Sperling
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« Reply #8 on: April 12, 2003, 02:17:31 am » |
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"Assemblyland" will also be unique because you will pay an entrance fee but given a "stewardship" just the same. You not only attend the park,but you help clean it while you are there.
And remember the "Dance Marathons" of the 1940's? Well "Assemblyland" will feature "Prayer Marathons" where people will compete to stay awake the longest while praying and the person who stays awake the longest will receive free entrance to the park for a year!!
There will also be a ride called "Journey to the Inheritance" which wil be extremely scary. It will be a roller-coaster ride which is heading toward a beautiful land. Every two or three people will be in a bobsled. Well some of the bobsleds will actually enter the inheritance, but for others right before they are about to enter, the doors will slam shut and a loud voice will shout "Depart from me!" and you will be plummeted outward into darkness. It is quite a concept.
Lastly, based losely on the "Abraham Lincoln" exhibit in Disneyland, will be "Meet Mr. Geftakys" which will be a life-sized robotic version of Brother George. He will stand and begin giving a seminar message. Attendees are encouraged to bring their notebooks and plenty of paper.
"Assemblyland" will truly be an experience for young and old!!
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