Hi Eulaha!
We all need to be loved and accepted by someone and these groups use that need to gain your loyalty and to get you to serve the needs of the group. The way we know the love was phony in the Assembly is when an individual decides to challenge one of the group goals they are turned on and attacked, or at the very least shunned...
Churches that love bomb you upon joining and then shun you for questioning things are not expressing love at all.
I think it is especially important that ex-members of groups like the Assembly learn to find their love and acceptance in their individual lives with the Lord first...
... if we are secure in His love we have a good foundation for all of our life.
Like the other posters here, I remember a wonderful sense of family, love and acceptance by dear people to whom I felt extremely close and in whom I could confide. That feeling was the subtlety by which the men in charge controlled the rest, and the man in charge controlled those directly under him.
Once the hook of that sense of familial bonding was firmly set, the line could be yanked to control any individual affected by it. Question anyone or anything, and mandated shunning would deprive you of the sense of being loved. Those who flourished upon the acceptance by, and interaction with, others would do anything, submit to any humiliation, to regain those privileges once they were denied.
The great but subtle lie was in establishing that the leadership had the mind of God and stood for God before the congregation. Therefore, it was the approval of the leadership that was to be sought. There is a terrible judgment in store for those who propagated and do not repent of this deception!
There is no man whose approval we need except the Man Christ Jesus, and this truth is what should have been taught in the assemblies but was not. The reality of the Person of Jesus Christ as practical personal Savior
today was denied or distorted until it (He) could be no more than a distant and abstract consideration. And yet He was there, in the heart of every believer, never leaving nor forsaking us just as He had promised. Rather, we were duped into denying Him, replacing His inconceivable love for us with a counterfeit affection which provided us with a fleeting image of unity in exchange for a demand upon all our time and strength.
If you or I performed a great personal sacrifice for someone, and in return were ignored and put aside as we did Christ in the assembly, how long would we put up with it? Thanks be to God that His mercy endures forever!
His love has no limit,
His grace has no measure,
His power has no boundary
Known unto men,
But out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth,
And giveth,
And giveth again.
Praise His Name... and a most blessed Christmas to all!
al Hartman