Jack Hutchinson's One Year Ago Today

[jackhutchinson]

Here are some recent entries into my 'year ago today' diary:

1/16/04

One year ago today (Thursday 1/16/03) we had an emergency prayer meeting during which we prayed for the upcoming meeting between the assembly leaders and Brent and the pastor of Calvary Chapel.  We also discussed whether or not the SLO leaders should step down and we learned that since we were no longer part of GG’s ministry (it had been dissolved the weekend before on 1/11/03), that we would be interacting with other churches in the area.

We did not come to any conclusion on the topic of leaders stepping down, but we did discuss the fact that some leaders were more ‘old school’ than others (‘old school’ referring to their adherence to GG’s way of doing things).

We were so nervous about the meeting between the leaders and Brent.  We were so sure that Brent was driven by bitterness and hatred.  We would often remark that he was out for blood, figuratively speaking.

I preached at that meeting.  It was to be the last time I would preach in the assembly.  I can’t remember exactly what I said, but I do remember saying that no matter what was about to happen, I was not going anywhere.  As I put it, “We’re family!”  I was committed to God, and since I believed that God had anointed the assemblies with His presence, I was never going to leave.

As a side note, there was one way in which I believed that it was possible for God to lead me to leave the assemblies.  A couple of years ago many of us read a book called “The Prayer of Jabez”, by Bruce Wilkerson.  As a result we were praying that God would open unforeseen miraculous new ways for us to bless others with our God-given talents.  I came to the conclusion that it was possible (though not probable) for God to lead me to go to another ministry to make videos and movies for evangelism.  I even told one of the SLO leaders about my new perspective, but I can’t recall his response.

Jack

Correction:  I did preach one more time in the assembly (2/23/03), but it was far different.  I'll post about that later.

[jackhutchinson]

1/18/04

One year ago today (Sat 1/18/03) the SLO leaders met with Brent & Suzie Tr0ckman, Bryan Stupar (pastor of Calvary Chapel) and Chuck Vanesse (a former member of an assembly in the Midwest).  We prayed that morning for that meeting.

I was busy preparing for the bridal faire in SLO.  That night we were all invited to a leader’s house for a dinner.  We learned that things had been worked out between Brent and the leaders and that they were busy over at Brent’s house deleting all the ‘bad’ information on the website.  We learned that many of those who formerly opposed the assembly would join the assembly in SLO for worship the next morning.  We were all relieved.  It seemed so strange that everything would be worked out so quickly after all that time.  I was so bummed to find out that I would not be able to attend the worship meeting that was sure to be unique.

Jack

[jackhutchinson]

1/19/04

One year ago today (Sun 1/19/03) I had a booth at the SLO bridal faire (I'm a wedding videographer).  A few of the saints helped me get and set up equipment at the faire.  One of the brothers picked up my equipment after the faire and told me that George had been excommunicated and that it had something to do with adultery.  That threw me for a loop.  I did not see it coming.  This revelation was so weird that it had the effect of enabling me to believe any weird thing that was said about George - even the bit about his having a stash of gold bars in his house.  That may not seem weird for a person to do that, but then again, this was a man who repeatedly boasted of his dependence on the Lord’s provision.  He told us that he didn’t need a bank account because he trusted God for his daily needs.  Hearing this discouraged us from saving up for our retirement.

That night I had an enjoyable long chat with one of the leaders (who has since cleared himself).  Then we went to his house and watched ‘The Matrix’.  This was perfect timing, since our experience in the assembly has certain parallels with the Matrix in which the characters were enslaved.  He is now a Matrix fan and sees the parallel.

Jack

[jackhutchinson]

1/20/04

One year ago today (Mon 1/20/03):  With the bridal faire behind me I took the day off since I had no pressing business to which I needed to attend.  I went to a leader’s house and listened to the tape of the previous days’ meeting.  I was blown away by the way everyone seemed to be in agreement.  The key, though, was the announcement that the website that had previously been forbidden (as implied by the many comments made by the leaders).  I was then allowed to satisfy my curiosity without any guilt.

Side note:  On Monday afternoon (before looking on the web) I asked one of the leaders if we would begin exchanging preachers with other churches in SLO (instead of ones from other assemblies).  He insisted that we would not do so on the grounds that the other churches did not have the ‘heavenly vision’ that we had.  That struck me as being odd, since just days before we had stated that we needed to interact more with other churches in the area as an active part of the body of Christ in SLO.

I went home that afternoon and started to read the articles on the website and the posts on the bulletin board.  On Monday night, after reading Judy’s, Rachel’s and Kirk’s accounts I called one of the leaders and asked him why they allowed Brent to keep those articles on the web.  The articles contained claims that the SLO leaders had covered up David’s wife and child abuse, and therefore made the leaders look pretty bad.  How could the leaders be pleased with the changes in the website when these damning articles were still there?  The leader told me that he and the other leaders were trying to persuade Brent to remove all the articles from the website.  Already there was a rift between parties that had so recently appeared to have mended fences!

As I read the articles on the web I wept from time to time as I realized that the world that had supported and surrounded me was a sham.  The leaders I had respected, defended, obeyed and believed had in reality been SO different than they appeared.  As I read I found that there were cult experts that had studied many groups just like us.  We were not unique, except in some of our doctrine.  Other than that, we were just like any other abusive church/cultic church.  Groups like us were a dime a dozen.  The experts (Christian and secular) that I had ignorantly despised had our number dialed just as they had all the other textbook examples.  Emotionally it tore me apart from the inside out.  I felt so betrayed.  How could supposedly godly men act in such ways?  How much did they really know, and how much were they trying not to know?

From Monday afternoon till early Wednesday morning I simply read without posting.

Jack

[jackhutchinson]

1/21/04

One year ago today (Tues 1/21/03) we had our regularly scheduled prayer meeting.  Brent attended and preached on Galatians 5:1 on the theme of standing fast in the liberty with which Christ has set us free.  It was pretty amazing to see Brent stand there and preach in a meeting from which he would have been banned just 4 days prior.  The time of worship was emotional for some.  After the meeting I spoke with Brent about the website.  In my enthusiasm I thought I had figured everything out when he told me that the next phase of my progress would be anger.  I was baffled and a bit offended by the fact that he thought I hadn’t quite gotten it.  My thinking was still in a state of flux.  I hadn’t even read “The Code of Silence” yet.
 
Jack

[jackhutchinson]

1/22/04

One year ago today (Wed 1/22/03):  Early Wednesday morning I wrote out a post for the bulletin board and finally decided to put it on the web.  The post was the first in a thread entitled “I’m Waiting for Answers”, in which I asked the SLO leaders to account for the discrepancies between their accounts of what happened and the accounts of those on the website.  It took me so long to work up the nerve to post it since I knew it would definitely rock the assembly boat.  It was one thing to ask questions in private conversations with leaders (as long as one accepted their answers), but quite another to ask them publicly.  Many people had addressed these same issues PRIVATELY, but to no avail.  Brent and others had already begun to address the issues PUBLICLY, so in a sense I was not breaking new ground.  However, I was someone who just days prior had pledged my loyalty to the assembly during my preaching.  I was still an insider, yet my perspective and behavior were rapidly and profoundly changing.  With 3 exceptions I can think of, the only people from SLO that had PUBLICLY challenged the leaders had left long before Jan 2003.  By posting on the bulletin board I was showing that I, an insider, was not going to walk away in silence when I saw what was going on.  I was openly challenging the leaders from inside the assembly (I had no plans of leaving the assembly just yet).

That evening we had a special meeting to discuss the future of the assembly.  We discussed possible changes we could make in order to properly respond to the recent developments.  I had already begun to regret posting my questions, as I was conditioned to reject the thought of doing anything that could in any way damage the leaders’ credibility.  After all, we had been taught that they were God’s servants operating in “God’s government”.

After the meeting I apologized to 3 of the leaders for making the post.  After I apologized to one of the leaders he spent 20 minutes trying to convince me that the website was not to be taken seriously.  He tried to make me feel guilty by referring to the information on the bulletin board as ‘gossip’ and he tried to make me doubt the accuracy of the accounts on the website.  I had not read “The Code of Silence” yet, but I knew that he was wrong in trying to turn me away from the website.  I just pretended I was taking him seriously and then went on my way.

After I got home I read the first part of “The Code of Silence”.  Upon reflecting on what I read I decided later that night that I really did not have to feel bad about posting those questions.

Note:  Put simply, the reason why the leaders despised the website was that it constituted a source of information that they could not control.  Their only hope was to discredit it or to keep us from reading it altogether.

Jack

[editor]

I so enjoyed reading Jack's excerpts from one year ago, I thought I'd make a seperate category.

Admin

[jackhutchinson]

1/23/04

One year ago today (Thurs 1/23/03),  I was delivered from ever wanting to have anything to do with the assembly.

I had lunch with a friend in the assembly.  He had not read “The Code of Silence” and I had yet to finish doing so.  We discussed the possibility of distributing copies of key website articles to others in the assembly and discussing them in the meetings.  We saw this as a way of causing the light to shine IN the assembly from WITHIN it.  I still had no plans of leaving.

I went home and finished reading “The Code of Silence” (http://www.geftakysassembly.com/Articles/TeachingPractice/CodeOfSilence.htm).  That night I had dinner with a couple from the assembly.  It wasn’t too long before the husband made the comment, “So, I hear you’ve been spending a lot of time on the website.”  When I explained why I thought it was so important they both responded with pat answers as to why they didn’t think it was profitable.  For the next 90 minutes or so the process was repeated - my explanations were followed by their excuses, some of which they’d heard from the leaders (I know because I heard the leaders use them) and some they had formulated themselves based on the conditioning to which their minds had been subject for years (as had mine).  This was creepy.  My mind had functioned in a certain way for 19 years.  Now, suddenly, I was looking at people IN the assembly from the OUTSIDE.  After the conversation ended I left in a daze, having just seen myself in a mirror, so to speak.  I went home and called my mother and told her what had been happening in the assembly and asked her for her input.  Note:  My mom had extensive contact with those in the assmbly through myself and through my sister, Mary Jean (Hutchinson) Schout.   She was so grateful that I thought of calling her during such upsetting circumstances, as my communication with her for 19 years had been superficial.  The next day I left to spend a week with my family.

While visiting family I considered moving in with my mom for awhile, but decided against it since I had already begun my business in the SLO area.  When I got back to SLO I was depressed for a few days, but soon recovered.

Beginning in January of last year, my relationships with the members of my family have blossomed and we all appreciate the openness that we can now experience.


Jack