Once again, I pose a contrast to your thoughts, not in opposition to them, but to illustrate how different our experiences, the effects of the assembly upon us, have been. All the wounded pilgrims out there are not just like you or me, but are individuals every one. So if someone is reading this thread and thinking that solutions are being offered here that don't apply to them, I hope they will take heart and realize that God sees them as they really are, and not as you or I may perceive them to be (i.e., like ourselves), and that they will post their questions, or e-mail them to us, but above all, not be discouraged because they don't "get" what you or I are saying...
We all sat under essentially the same teachings, restrictions and controls, and we were all wounded thereby,
We were not all alike when we entered the assembly, being of different backgrounds, temperaments, etc., we did not all stay for the same length of time, we were not all treated alike, and we were not all in the same state of mind and heart when we left.
Thanks Al,
All very true! This is why a monolouge of my views on this thread will only have lilmited value. I share my personal story because a picture is sometimes worth a thousand pages of theoretical analysis.
My experience on BB's with former cult/abusive church members has convinced me that bad religion hurts the souls of it's members. Jesus said of the Pharisees that they were "a den of vipers", and again this was more than just Jesus trying to say something mean to them; he was identifying the character of their teaching and practices in such a way that declared they poisoned those under their authority.
Now, some may have been poisoned worse than others, but all were bitten. The mortality rate of snake bite victims will be higher among the weaker (elderly and young) and also how quickly they receive treatment for recovery will make a difference in their healing time.
Likewise, those more sensitive and needy will have worse reactions. It is obvious that the bitten party should avoid snake pits in the future. Part of what we do here is to warn re. what is toxic faith, and to advise to avoid it; and this will be necessary no matter what our individual pre-conditions. Also, an integral part on this thread is to help to develop a healthy Christian life that is blessed vs. sick.
You and I Al left before the great collaspe, and as such had to deal with the possibility that the Assembly was right and we were wrong. In your case, you were certain that you were wrong.
Those leaving after toto pulled the curtain back had the advantage of seeing behind the false images GG displayed. They also had the support of the web site and this BB.
Some still fail to acknowledge the GG sham, and admit their abusive part in the group, and for these (who probably will never read here) their pride will prevent them from admitting to the obvious. But, aside from this group, we can generalize that we all can benefit from some kind of treatment for bad religious poisoning.
The book, "Healing For Damaged Emotions" by David A. Seamands was written by a Christian Evangelical who was at one time a missionary to India.
It says on the book Jacket of another one of his books ("The Perfromance Trap":
"Many truly reborn Christians are troubled emotionally and spiritually. Deeply committed to Christ, they read the Bible, pray, give and witness to their faith. Some of them are involved in Christian service. Yet, when they are honest about their feelings, they admit to being defeated and sometimes even disillusioned.
----------------- For God's healing grace reaches into people's thoughts, feelings, behavior, and above all, into their relationships, self-concepts and their fellowship with the loving Heavenly Father." Now, Mr. Seamands was not counseling former cult members, just regular old church members, and yet discovered a tremendous need to go beyond just preaching from the pulpit to address inner needs of those who came to him for advice.
Notice that "healing greace reaches" beyond just "thoughts" and deals with emotions, actions, "and above all" into "their relationships, self-concepts, and their fellowship with the loving Heavenly Father."
"Self-concepts" will sound a bit like pop-psychology to some, and this term that deals with how we view ourselves, can be misused. We can, by altering the words of this phrase, avoid the false application and find that God does indeed want us to have a good concept of self. Change the phrase to "how God thinks of me" and we can avoid the problems with "self concepts."
A false view of God will lead to a false view of self. Religious deception not only twists our understanding of who God is it does a considerable amount of twisting with our own psyche.
By believing that God has set a great value on me personally I have discovered what it means that God loves me. God himself came to demonstrate that love for me personally. This one time act has established a permanent relationship where I am called "beloved of God" !
When we adjust our view of God upon leaving the Assembly to one where we relate to God by grace this understanding needs to "reach into" the rest of our being as well.
Emotional habits form deep channels in our personality which just naturally cause us to act in certain ways. Most of what we do is not based on rational thought, but habits formed via our lifestyle. The older we get the more automatic these reactions become, and as a result change becomes very difficult. After decades in the Assembly we have devloped similarly many automatic reactions to certain situations.
These would include:
1.)
Dishonesty: (Often loud) protestations re. the purity of our own inner life against the facts of our own struggles with sin. This is a self defense mechanism that becomes ingrained to the point that we actually believe the lie ourselves (as in GG).
2.)
Self loathing: Now, we may know better, but it is such an automatic reaction to daily frustrations/failures that we immediately start to beat ourselves up over a situation. We expect more of ourselves, and when we can't live up to it we become discouraged. (I battle this on a daily basis) I will get into things that might help later.
3.)
Difficulty with authority: When we discover that those who told us that they represented God, and we believed and submitted to it, were charlatans and used us, this creates a huge amount of anger against authority, even legitimate. "Never again" becomes our motto and when we sense someone trying to "tell us what to do" the reaction can be immediate--- and fierce! Again, if we think about it, the reaction is often unreasonable, but it has a force all it's own that may express itself before the mind kicks in.
4.)
Difficulty with relationships: Wives of former leaders, not wanting to be doormats for their husbands anymore, and the husbands looking for the same kind of respect they received while in the group from others is one example of this malady.
Many in the group had their egos deeply tied to their standing in the group and at it's demise they were left out in the cold, so to speak. To just sit in a church pew with a bunch of "regular believers" and be viewed as just a "regular believer" is more than some can take. Again, I may know better in my thinking, but my emotional state overpowers what I now know to be true.
Certain former members I know have left church services screaming inside over just the reading of certain passages, like Acts.2 (the anchors) because it triggered an emotional automatic response!
You can no doubt think of others, but all of these require time and work to overcome. The easy part is the correct thinking and the hard part is inculcating these views into our Christian life. It will be more difficult for some than others, and each individual will have his particular achilles heel----deep wounding will require deep healing.
It would be great if we could just set our minds via our regenerated wills and our emotions would follow along in a docile fashion, but for the few of us who do not possess this extraordinary ability we may need some help
.
I will try to address "the filling of the Spirit" that Al took a particular interest in upon my next post.
God Bless, Mark C.
