the asylum for certifiables

[matthew r. sciaini]

Folks:

Sorry for gumming up the asylum with something begging to be a story line.  Perhaps I could start another thread entitled "tales from the dead zone" ? 

Continue the party and sorry about.....

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Matt

[Joe Sperling]

Hey--I like that Florsheim story. I'm waiting for Act 1 scene 2.

[matthew r. sciaini]

Joe: 

It will be on a new thread entitled:  "Tales from the dead zone......." 

Matt

[matthew r. sciaini]

IT'S BILLBOARD GRAFFITI!!!!

F.R.G

MRS MRS MRS MRS

GG  GG

[Joe Sperling]

Hello. My name is Busby Newbauer and I'm visiting the board for the first time. I don't have
access so Joe Sperling is letting me use his password until I get my own computer. Please
excuse me if I don't have a really good understanding of what is going on here. Earlier this
year I visited Jerusalem with harpoon in hand until I was told it was the Wailing Wall, not the
Whaling Wall. I was truly dissapointed as I am a huge studier of whales. What I love most about
whales are the huge white tusks they have that protrude downward. I'm told they use these
to dig up clams and so forth.

I also study elephants. Did you know that there is an elephant in South America that uses it's trunk
to drill into the ground, tunneling under the earth for miles? An oil drilling team had drilled down approximately a mile when they came upon one of the elephants, who had literally drilled down using
it's quickly revolving trunk to that distance. Amazing. I also saw a documentary on chickens on the
Discovery channel. I couldn't believe it when they were off the coast of Ecuador at a depth of nearly 250 feet when the camera swung to the right and a whole flock of underwater chickens were migrating eastward, walking on the bottom of the ocean. It was truly one of the most amazing things I have ever seen.

But the most amazing thing I think were the Bolivian killer butterflies I saw on Animal Planet. They showed a Bolivian man running into the jungle screaming as a huge swarm of these killer butterflies flew after him. There was a horribly loud scream and then the butterflies starting using their probiscuses
to suck the blood out of the poor man. It was horrific. The butterflies made a large hissing sound as they flew away.

But, as I said, I'm not really sure what this Bulletin Board is all about so I thought I'd share some of the things I've been watching on television lately. Please feel free to comment as I'd like to hear what some of the other people who have seen these presentations think also.

Busby

[matthew r. sciaini]

Busby:

Sounds like a real butt-scratcher to me.  I won't even mention my head because I don't want to disturb the current tenants by any vigorous itching motions.

Don't you know that television rots the brain?  I prefer radio myself because you can't see what they are saying....you have to listen.

This board is for refugees from a group known as the Assembly.......

The elephant's name was George Geftakys, only that was not his trunk, and he wasn't looking for oil......

As far as the hissing butterfly, that MAY have been one of his current supporters.....

Sounds like we have been watching the same channel......



Wilton P. Sykes.....man about town.....too often...out of Gattman, Mississippi

[Joe Sperling]

Wilton---

Thanks. I do like to listen to the radio quite a bit. Especially when the Disc Jockey
speaks to me specifically, which happens a lot. The other day I ran down to the
store and bought a Chia pet after the DJ told me to. It took me a while to get used
to the television though. I bought what I thought was a television, and the channels
just didn't come in very clearly. All I seemed to get was a bright light and a humming
sound. I tried for three days until my neighbor told me I had purchased a microwave.

My favorite shows are nature type shows, and things that deal with reality. I went on my
first Saquatch hunt after watching one of those programs. I didn't find one, but the hike
was exhiliratiing. I also love exercise shows, especially the really meaningful ones like "Sweatin'
to the oldies" with Richard Simmons. I don't know how the guy got to be so knowledgeable
about exercise and nutrition. And the funny thing is he really doesn't look like he's in all that
great of shape, but the severely overweight women sure love him. They love him almost as
much as they used to love Liberace. I don't know whether there is any significance to that
fact, but I thought I'd mention it. Oh well, gotta go now it's time to feed the goldfish.

Busby

[matthew r. sciaini]

Busby (can I call you "Buzz"?):

I'm feeding my goldfish as well....to my sea snake.   See, I have a salt-water aquarium, and my sea snake just swims around in it, eating all the occupants inside that make up his diet.  I call him Popeye, and no, he doesn't eat spinach, nor does he eat seaweed.

You know, Buzz, I had trouble with that televsion/microwave thing also, only I bought a televison, which I thought was a microwave.   It had this handy little slot for hot pockets, but whenever I would try to set the time I would get the evening news and occasionally a puff of smoke from the back of the set. 

But the only conversation I get is when telemarketers call me.   Some of them are kind of nice, but ask ME such detailed about cell-phone brand images.   As if I would know.   Out here in Gattman, we barely have graduated from dialing the telephone.  Ol' man Macon is STILL fit to be tied over getting the number 998-9899, because he still dials.  I am pretty high up here;  I have been using a push-button for ten years now. 

Anyway, as I said in my last e-mail, this website is for refugees from the Assembly of George Geftakys.  This particular thread is called "asylum for certifiables" because it is dedicated to those who will have their own little world.  So it's basically you and me, Buzz, running it.   

What say we take a break and go out to the general store for a bite?   I'd bring Popeye but he would probably bite me and you and then we'd all die (he really can't live out of salt water for very long).

Wilton  P. Sikes....Grand Wizard....of the Gattman, Mississippi chapter of N.O.P.O.W.R...........

[moonflower2]

this website is for refugees from the Assembly of George Geftakys.  This particular thread is called "asylum for certifiables" because it is dedicated to those who will have their own little world. 

All right. That's about enough! This is the second time you refered to me as a "refugee". That is really demeaning. Evacueement is the politically correct term, and unless you want to be sued to high heaven, you'd better change your ways and words. Just where did you get the idea to even refer to us as "refugees"? Was that on Channel 11 or something, or was that just hearsay?

Listen up boy: We have evacuated! Do you realize that? EVACUATED! Do you know what that means?

Did they forget to pass out the meds today? You need a double for sure.

[al Hartman]

Listen up boy: We have evacuated! Do you realize that? EVACUATED! Do you know what that means?

Did they forget to pass out the meds today? You need a double for sure.

Wow, Sunflower, what a coincidence!  I, too am on meds that help me evacuate!

[matthew r. sciaini]

All right. That's about enough! This is the second time you refered to me as a "refugee". That is really demeaning. Evacueement is the politically correct term, and unless you want to be sued to high heaven, you'd better change your ways and words. Just where did you get the idea to even refer to us as "refugees"? Was that on Channel 11 or something, or was that just hearsay?

Listen up boy: We have evacuated! Do you realize that? EVACUATED! Do you know what that means?

Did they forget to pass out the meds today? You need a double for sure.

Moon-mad: 

First of all, forgive me IF I have offended you......

Second of all, I STILL don't have a TV and therefore did not see it on channel eleven.......

Third of all,  heaven does not receive lawsuits, nor lawyers in three-piece suits.....

Fourth of all, I am not a boy, ;0  even if I act like one.....

Fifth of all, I take my meds for breakfast.  I dump them all together in the same bowl and then pour low-fat milk over them.   This helps to make them more palatable............

Sixth of all, as flattered as I am that you have entered the world of the asylum, "refugee" is the term that I choose to use to describe Geftakys leavers.   Maybe I should give it some more thought........In my case, I feel like the "boat Vietnamese" must have felt......leaving their country to save their lives, yet having a rough time of it meanwhile.............Feel free to call yourself an evacuee if you wish.

Seventh of all, why don't you use the padded wall just to your right if you are frustrated?  This will stop these outbursts for sure and make the asylum the happy place it was meant to be.........

The Shinester