Memorandum From Tim and George Geftakys

[Bluejay]

                            Memorandum

                              April 1, 2003

To:  All Assembly Members
From:  George and Tim Geftakys
Re: Saints Not to Partake In April Fools Day Celebrations

An executive decision has been made by the Fullerton leadership that all assembly members and their families should not partake in any sort of April Fools Day celebrations.  After carefuly studying the origin of April Fools Day, we have determined that April Fools Day was actually started by Satan himself back in the late 1400's.  Assembly members should not even bother researching this as one must be truly annointed to make this discovery.  

It has also been determined that April Fools day jokes often times make people laugh, therefore outwardly showing an "emotion", which of course is against the Geftakys doctrine.  We do not want  related family members and former friends to think we have slipped back into the "ways of this world", so therefore it is important to remember that we should act robotic at all times, specifically on this wicked holiday.

There are several ways we as members of the assembly can subtly let people know that April Fools Day is not a Christian Holiday. First, saints should not put an April Fools Day tree up in their living room as people of this world do during the weeks prior to  this Holiday.  Secondly, as all of the children of this world will go door to door on April Fools day night, wearing costumes and collecting candy, we should keep out children home, turn the lights off and have them hide under the dinner table so they will not be exposed to this wickedness.  Also, it is without question necessary to pull your children out of school on this day, therfore keeping them away from the Wicked April Fools day celebrations that will take place in the classroom.

Anyone who disobeys this mandate will be tortured by being  forced to listen to a three point lecture by George Geftakys.

Also, remember to put 60.7% of your income  (yes the bible only says 10% but we once again have made a discovery that says members of the assembly should multiply that by 6 and add .7%)  into the box in the back part of the room.  It goes to the needs of this work, and also will go for our expensive hobbies.

[vbeers]

now that was funny.  thanks, bluejay!

i am so sure that 7-year-old kids would have been drawn to practice witch craft had they, god forbid, attended school, eaten some candy, and dressed up like minnie mouse on halloween.  

the ourtight ignorant things we did / did not do as a part of that place just blows my mind...

[Bluejay]

now that was funny.  thanks, bluejay!

i am so sure that 7-year-old kids would have been drawn to practice witch craft had they, god forbid, attended school, eaten some candy, and dressed up like minnie mouse on halloween.  

the ourtight ignorant things we did / did not do as a part of that place just blows my mind...

VBEERS,

I noticed tremendous anger and hostility in this post.  If you are still angry about the fact that you were not allowed to trick or treat or go to Halloween parties as a youngster, then I suggest that you immediately dress up as Betty Geftakys, and go door to door and say "trick or treat."  

Do not let the fact that it is April 3 stop you.  You may think you are getting some funny looks, but I promise you they are not looking at you.  This is a perfectally normal way to deal with this.

Please give us a full report tomorrow of how this experience went.

[vbeers]

ok, bluejay.  so, i took your advice and dressed up as betty g. and went trick or treating.  talk about scary!  people did think me a little peculiar, but scrounged around for a sweet morsel for me nonetheless...