Joe Sperling
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« on: August 18, 2005, 08:22:08 pm » |
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Is there a God? Does He answer prayers? Does He love us?
I can't prove there is a God. Neither can anyone prove there is no
God for that matter. Often though, when doubts come into my mind,
or I'm going through a rough period in my life, I need to remind myself
of things God has definitely done to prove He both loves me, and cares
for me immensely. These are "my" experiences of course, and cannot
be used as a basis to "prove" anything.
A year ago today my brother took his own life. It was very difficult to deal with
at the time, and still pains me deeply, but God has helped me through it with
his words of comfort and has always been there. And it reminds me of other
times God has definitely been there, and only much later did I realize that God
had answered my prayers far and above what I had asked.
I thought it might be uplifting to share a few of the prayers God has answered in my
life. Though they may not appear to be "miracles" to others, they were miracles to
me--especially when I look back on that time, and who I was then. Here is one such
example:
I had left the Assembly, gotten married and moved to Orange County to manage a small
office for the company I still work for today. Shortly after arriving there they cut the office
staff down to me alone, and one worker out back. I don't know how to explain this, but
I was so very lonely that I almost wanted to die. I didn't get along with my wife and couldn't
talk with her. I didn't go to church because I was still afraid after the Assembly experience. My
wife was not a believer at the time(we wound up getting divorced, though she does believe
in God now), and I literally had no one to talk to. I was miserable---not being a very extrovered
person I just didn't know how to make any new friends. I was separated from family, and literally
all of my "friends" had been in the Assembly. Living in Orange County had separated me from any
friends I had before.
So, each night, I would pray to God "Lord, please grant to me a Christian friend". These were not
always faith filled prayers mind you--often they were complaining prayers such as: "Why did you
bring me to Orange County when you knew I would have no friends?"(blaming God for the decision
I had made to move there). Or sobbing prayers where I would ask for a friend and then ask God "How could you do this to me?" Some prayers were even directed at God in anger because we
humans want our prayers answered NOW, not later. But I continued to ask this of God, when it was up to me to find friends, not to have God drop one into my life. It was like asking God for a job and then not going out to look for one. But I continued to pray and cry for a Christian friend anyway.
Months later my unsaved wife, who worked as a waitress at the time in the evenings, said "I invited
a lady and her husband over for dinner tonight." I was less than happy about that, because I had become severely withdrawn, often coming home from work and going straight to my room to brood over my horrible life, and complain to God about it. But it was too late, they were coming over, and I was just going to have to live with it. The man and woman arrived and there was a lot of small talk at first, but then the man(Don) made a comment about God. Then he said he was a Christian who attended Calvary Chapel in Costa Mesa, Chuck Smith as Pastor. He invited me to attend, and I went with him the next Sunday.
Soon, I was going over to he and his wife's house often, and we had small Bible studies and became very good friends. My wife did not like Don, or his wife for that matter, and regretted the day she had invited them to our condo. Don became my strongest confidant--he was a "true' friend, sincere and caring, and we all know it is hard to find good, sincere friends, especially later in life. When my wife literally left me I was devastated, and could never have made it alone. But Don and Gilda were there, continually calling and asking how I was, and getting me out of my severe depression.
It's amazing how ungrateful we can be to God though. It must have been at least a year later, when I was in one of my "complaining to God" modes, that it suddenly dawned on me that God had answered my prayer despite myself. He had literally used my unsaved wife to invite a person who became my dearest Christian friend, into my life. God didn't answer my prayer immediately, it had taken a while--and almost unnoticed to me He answered it, and far above all I had wanted or asked for. I actually got two friends, because Don's wife was a sincere Christian also.
This was a miracle. It truly was. If you had been in my shoes, and knew my frame of mind and outlook on life at the time, you would have known I never would have gained a friend, and a sincere Christian friend as I had been crying out for. To this day I still go through my "complaining mode" and
I will admit that fully, I am no spiritual giant that's for sure. So I often have to remind myself of this and other miracles God has done in my life.
I wanted to share this and say that despite all of my faults and failures, and bad choices, God does exist,
God does answer prayers for sure, and God does love us immensely. Thank you God.
Perhaps others would like to share how God has answered their prayers.
--Joe
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