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Author Topic: The "New" Humor  (Read 48862 times)
Arthur
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« Reply #30 on: January 24, 2003, 02:08:19 am »

I'd say one of those little head mikes woulda come in handy during the Lord's supper at a seminar.  That way we wouldn't all have to be Jim Hayman for people to hear what you were saying.  What's the longest that anyone's recorded for how long two people would be praying at once without realizing it?

 Cheesy
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Rudy
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« Reply #31 on: January 24, 2003, 03:03:53 am »

this was in sunday's comics - Non Sequitur

Oh my... What's this all about, Bert?

Homer's getting a lesson in political logic

Ah, yes... Futility 101

((( BURN THE BLASPHEMER )))

     But all i did was save a girl...
     Who say's that's blasphemy?

     The Bishop!
     And to question him is the
     same as questioning the
     infallible word of GOD!!

     Uh... Who told you that?

     Hmmm... Now that you mention
     it, that decree was made by
     the bishop

     Didn't that make any of you a little
     suspicious about his motives?

     .....  Pause  .....

     Well now, that would be questioning
     the bishop, wouldn't it?

(((  BURN THE BLASPHEMER!!  )))

 Grin

R
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David Mauldin
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« Reply #32 on: January 24, 2003, 05:11:15 am »

Hi Dale U.  Remember that time you were publicly repremanded at (a seminar only about a 1000 people there)  for reading your Bible in a prone position?  Brother have you gotten the victory over this yet?   Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked
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Bob Sturnfield
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« Reply #33 on: January 24, 2003, 06:49:01 am »

Rainbow Shrimp Salad

I remember one time "a brother" was cooking dinner in Chicago.  We were having "Rainbow Shrimp Salad"

We also had Paul Martin visiting at that time.  He commented that it was a "little chewy", are we sure it was cooked well enough?

The brother said he had only poured boiling water over it, however it was "pre-cooked".

After the meal someone checked out the shrimp packages, the first two said "ready to serve"; the third said "ready to cook"  Lips sealed


"Where he leads me I will follow; what he feeds me I will swallow."

Luke 10: 8  Whatever city you enter, and they receive you, eat such things as are set before you.

1 Corinthians 10: 27  If any . . . invites you to dinner, and you desire to go, eat whatever is set before you, asking no question . . . .


Paul M, if you ever read this, I want to apologize for feeding you raw shrimp!

==================
No Garth, my signature is not the punch line
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David Mauldin
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« Reply #34 on: January 25, 2003, 01:03:49 am »

An amish couple  and their  grandson decided to visit the  city for the first time.  Inside a department store the young boy walked around in captive amazment.  His grandfather caught up to him only to find him transfixed in front of an elevator door.  "Vat is dis grandpa?"  "I don know son?" Both of them watched when an elderly woman approached the door and pushed to button.  The doors opened and the elderly lady hobbled in.  After the door closed  the boy and his grandfather noticed a series of light flash above the door. To their amazement the door opened up again and a young woman walked out.  The grandfather  said, "Son  hurry up and go get your grandmother!!!"
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Arthur
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« Reply #35 on: January 25, 2003, 01:46:58 am »

 Grin lol
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Arthur
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« Reply #36 on: January 25, 2003, 01:51:44 am »


A Buddhist walks up to a hot-dog vendor and says "Make me one with everything."
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retread
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« Reply #37 on: January 25, 2003, 02:18:35 am »

Okay, did anybody hear the one about one of Maharishi's followers who didn't want any novocaine when he was getting dental work done.  He wanted to "Transcend Dental Medication" Smiley
« Last Edit: January 25, 2003, 02:35:34 am by retread » Logged
Arthur
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« Reply #38 on: January 25, 2003, 03:23:42 am »

LOL!   Grin
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Kay
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« Reply #39 on: January 25, 2003, 03:39:14 am »

Thank you retread  Grin
That was worthy of lol Smiley
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Kay
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« Reply #40 on: January 25, 2003, 03:41:55 am »


I remember one time "a brother" was cooking dinner in Chicago.  We were having "Rainbow Shrimp Salad"

Bob you're sharing one of your BEST cooking stories!
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David Mauldin
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« Reply #41 on: January 25, 2003, 09:56:12 am »

What do you get when you cross a Jahovahs Wittness with a Unitarian? A person who goes around knock
ing on doors for no apparent reason!
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psalm51
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« Reply #42 on: January 25, 2003, 08:14:53 pm »

What do God and the control freak have in common?

They both love you and have a wonderful plan for your life.
 Shocked Cheesy Shocked Cheesy Shocked Cheesy Wink
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KF
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« Reply #43 on: January 25, 2003, 08:47:07 pm »

I couldn't help but notice Best Buy's stock has gone up about 15% since the first of the year!!

Makes me wonder how many tv's have been sold to saints since then .......
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Dale Yuzuki
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« Reply #44 on: January 26, 2003, 01:00:33 am »

Wow, a good memory David!
Hi Dale U.  Remember that time you were publicly repremanded at (a seminar only about a 1000 people there)  for reading your Bible in a prone position?  Brother have you gotten the victory over this yet?   Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked

I was wondering where that vertical crease on my forehead came from. And the sweat marks on the pages of Ephesians 3 and 4 will always have special meaning... Smiley
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