deeper life and scriptural interpretation

[Mark C.]

Hey Joe!

   You're not supposed to put the aluminum foil on your potatoes but on your head.  Don't you remember Brent warning us in past posts re. the dangers of mind control rays that can reach our mind and unduly influence us?

    I'll bet one of the Rev's from Barstow that use your computer to post might be able to provide a holy version of the above (for a nominal fee). 

                                        To be forwarned is to be forarmed!   Mark C.

[Joe Sperling]

Hello Friends----

My good friend Mark Campbell, unknowingly reminded me that we have a new offer,  the "HOLY ALUMINUM FOIL HEAD COVERING". We just began offering these recently, in fact, very recently, but already the cards and letters are rolling in regarding the blessed benefits of the protection these head coverings provide. Are you afraid of mind control my dear friends? Well, you need no longer fear that dreaded device of the enemy. These HOLY HEAD COVERINGS are for both men and women and they really work!!! Listen to Wanda Jamison, from Waukegee,  Illinois and her recent testimonial:

Thank you Reverend O'Leary for your wonderful head covering. I am truly glad and very happy that I obtained one from you after I heard your recent advertisement. I used to be very discontent and lonely but now I am continually jovial and upbeat, and I am wearing a smile all of the time. Some have said that it even appears to be pasted onto my face, which I find to be very humorous, because you have told me it is humorous Reverend Burt. I find everything you say to be very humorous Reverend O 'Leary. In fact, since I put on the HOLY HEAD COVERING, everything you say seems to make more sense than anything anyone else has to say. You are truly the most intelligent person on the face of the planet, and I am so very glad that I ordered one of the HOLY HEAD COVERINGS so that I could comprehend that. I would recommend that everyone order a HOLY HEAD COVERING, and not delay, so that you too can know just how spiritual the Reverend O'Leary truly is, and also keep out the mind controlling influences of the world. I often ask myself "What would the Reverend O'Leary want me to do next?" And within seconds I know what he would want me to do. Without the HOLY HEAD COVERING my world would be empty and meaningless. I am so very grateful I have obtained one. Order a head covering now and you will be fulfilled, and your life will become an oasis of friendliness and prosperity. I know this because the Reverend told me so. Thank you Reverend O'Leary."

Yes friends, you too can be just as blessed and filled with decisiveness as Wanda is. Simply send a donation of $75.00 or more to cover shipping expenses and it's yours for free. Don't delay friends. When you receive the head covering, simply follow the instructions that will turn on the electronic device at the center of it, and you will be on your way to years of fulfillment. You will want to keep the head covering on at all times, even when showering (it is waterproof), and especially you will want to wear it when entering a bank, or going near an ATM. Once you put on the HOLY ALUMINUM FOIL HEAD COVERING I know you will want to make a generous donation to this ministry. God bless you my dear friends!

Reverend Burt O'Leary
2223 W. Kingsford Drive
Barstow, Ca., 92233
(no personal checks please)

[moonflower2]

Very Reverend O'Leary,

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for my most holy aluminum foil hat. It has made me most holy, indeed!

Folks stand a a distance and look at me with holy awe! They watch me as I approach and gaze as I walk past!

Young ones have enough discernment to know I have a most holy fragrance and mention it to their folks. "Is that hat cooking something, Mom?"

"She must be homeless, my child."

Wow! Even just regular people know that there is something different about me!  My home is not of this earth!

Rev. O'leary, I want to order one for my friend who likes to streak her hair. Do you have a model with holes in it? She needs to pull her hair through the holes to color it. She won't leave her hair out for a very long time because she doesn't want it to get defiled. She can fill the holes with a glue gun when she is finished.

Is my friend taking a chance, or will she be okay?

I await your advice in fragrant notes of glory.

[Joe Sperling]

Hello,

My name is Bertram J. Billett, and I am Mr. Sperling's next door neighbor. He said it would be alright to use his computer today. He often mentions things he is posting on this bulletin board, and allows me to read some of the posts from time to time. I have never posted here, mainly because I do not have my own computer, and Mr. Sperling is a very selfish man. Don't tell him I said that, but he really is. He is also a real slob--you should see the room in which I am now sitting. There is a half-eaten yogurt cup with an expiration date of 2-2-86 on it for Pete's sake.

But anyway, today Mr. Sperling showed me a thread he was posting on, and it dealt with keeping the commandments of God. I saw this thread "Deeper life and Scriptural Interpretation" and figured I'd post here rather than interrupt the other thread. Mr. Sperling and I often get into debates, seeing I am in a church called "The Straight Gate Seventh Day Adventist Church". We follow the basic tenets of the Seventh Day Adventists, but in a far stricter manner, and believe that the Old Testament is just as valid as the New, and should be adhered to just as stongly. Many of the beliefs have been lost in these last days, and we need to return to what the early church taught in it's entirety.

Mr. Sperling and I have argued about which day we should worship on, as the Bible clearly teaches that we should worship on Saturday, the Sabbath day. He is clearly wrong about Sunday Worship, but despite being the slob he is, he is a fun person to have as a partner in a discussion. But when I read the other thread I saw a statement made: "If I am going to set aside God's command, I'd better be able to establish some sort of criteria for doing so". I could not agree more with this statement. We in the Straight Gate Seventh Day Adventist Church believe in keeping all of God's commands. We do not believe that the New Testament has done away with anything God said in the Old, neither should you interpret anything differently either.

Last night I began a thorough search once again to make sure that I am keeping the commands, and not setting aside anything God has said, as I want to make sure I am doing what he asks. I must ask you, if you are going to claim ownership of one verse as a command you follow from the Old Testament, should you not lay claim to all other commands as one's you would follow also?? The answer is yes, of course!! Why wouldn't you?

So, last night, I was diligently searching the scriptures in Leviticus and it mentioned something about  not having tattoos. I was so happy that I didn't have any, that I began to dance for joy!! I was so happy to know that I was following God's commands! After the dancing though I was famished!!

So I fixed myself a wonderful barbecued pork sandwich, sat back, and looked out the window. There sat a beautiful new Lexus. I thought "Man, I want that car. I hate that neighbor of mine for being so lucky to have a car like that. One day, if I follow all of God's commands maybe he'll give me a car like that. And maybe I'll get lucky enough to have a wife like he has also". And you know what? I really believe that if we keep God's commands he will reward us with things like this. If I keep going to church on Saturdays like you're supposed to, and diligently seek to follow his commands, I will definitely be rewarded.

Unlike Mr. Sperling and others of his ilk. Let me tell you a story and afterwards see if you are not moved to deep horror as I was when I experienced it. Mr. Sperling and I went to "Sizzler" for a meal the other night. He ordered Steak and Lobster. As I looked at Mr. Sperling munching on this most unclean of creatures, and thought of how much money he had spent on it, I thought "could not the money used to buy this lobster have been given to the poor?" I had simply ordered a salad as I know how much God hates gluttony. Then the waitress walked up, and overhearing our biblical discussion said that she did not believe in God and was a Wiccan Priestess. I ceased eating my food, as I knew that a person of despicable character had brought it to me, and I felt the most horrible feeling of evil.

 I remembered the Old Testament command "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" and it was all I could do to return my steak knife to it's place on the table, as I had lifted it in vise like grip, as her eyes opened a bit wider as she watched me. I thought of that verse "vengeance is mine saith the Lord, I will repay" and thought of the day that this terrible Wiccan priestess would suffer in the Lake of Fire. I thought "Even though the Lord has commanded us to kill her by saying we should "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live", he has also said "vengeance is mine" and "Thou shalt not kill".  I was so confused--"thou shalt not suffer a witch ot live", "thou shalt not kill", "vengeance is mine, I will repay", "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live", "thou shalt not kill", "vengeance is mine, I will repay",  I was so confused! I wasn't sure which command I should follow? If I truly followed the first command about what to do with witches, "Sizzler" patrons were going to have a most unusual night---but then my thoughts were interrupted.

Mr. Sperling was talking to her like she was some normal person, and not the filthy witch she was. He was preaching the Gospel to her and said that all she needed to do was accept Christ as her Lord and Savior and she would be saved.  How horrendous!!! How can one be saved if they do not follow the commands of God? How dare he preach such a message!! I thought of the unclean lobster, and of this witch, and felt horrified! I wanted to flee home to my prayer sanctuary and rid myself of so much uncleaness!!

[Joe Sperling]

continued from below....

Then, of all things, when we left, he left her a large tip. I must say, despite being a witch, she was a decent waitress, but to leave her more than the acceptable 15% was stupefying! He was using the Lord's money to give to a witch! Did he not remember the story of the faithful steward--had he no regard for the things that belong to the Lord??? Had he no respect for the commands of God Almighty!!?? As we left the table, she saw the tip and smiled broadly. No doubt her evil mind was mulling over how she had pulled the wool over our eyes and escaped with monetary gain. "Thanks" she said, "I'll think about what you said, I hadn't heard that before". What a lying hussy she was! She was just another immoral American who refuses to follow the clear commands of God. I thought of the great judgment that would befall her and so many others in such a short amount of time. How happy I was that I was a faithful follower of God's commands, and not like those who would shortly face God's fury!


Oh sorry--you didn't realize it, but I had to leave for a moment to take a phone call. It was a telemarketer--I wanted to finish this thought so I said "I'm just stepping out the door" so I could return to the computer quickly. The person said "Oh, Ok, I'll call later then". It works every time. OK, where was I? Oh yeah, we were talking about how we should follow God's commands in every situation.


Well, looks like we'll have to get back to that later. Mr. Sperling is pulling up in his car once again. The Lord does command us to be grateful for all things, so I'll have to thank him for letting me use his computer. Even if he is a lobster eating slob who gives money to witches.

[Mark C.]

Hi Bertram!

  I read with great interest your insights into deeper life that reveal an intense desire to please God via keeping all of his commands.  Indeed, we are told that we are "to be perfect as our Father in Heaven is perfect."  This verse comes from the Sermon on the Mount that we've been talking about recently on another thread.

  My question to you is:  Have you attained to this command of perfection, or if not, maybe you know someone who has (other than Jesus himself)?

  I have been trying real hard to make myself as perfect as God is through a strict discipline of devotion, and active life of reckoning faith where I'm trying to crucify my self life.

  It has been especially hard for me to fulfill the part of the life of perfection where I do not allow myself any pleasures (you know the verse "he that liveth in pleasure is dead while they live") and have tried to eat only bland foods (absolutely no desserts), never listen to pleasant music, reject any kind of entertainment, etc.

  I read about Father Serra's desire to kill his sensual desires where he actually rolled naked in cactus in an effort to erradicate the flesh--- Do you think this might work for me? 

This has been very difficult for me, but I just know that a serious true bible believer like yourself would have the answers.  I know that God has given me his commands to obey and that my failure must mean there is something defective in me!

                                       Thanks so much dear brother Bertram,        Mark C.

[Joe Sperling]

Mark---

I admire you for your dedication. Taking on the flesh can be very difficult indeed. Father Serra is to be greatly admired for his attempts to eradicate sinful desires. I had never heard of rolling in cactus before, and will have to try this, as it was done by one of the masters as a great example of denying the flesh to acheive spiritual gain.

Recently, after a fast of 3 straight days I was terribly hungry. Several people at work had patted me on the back after I told them of my endeavor to please the Lord through fleshly denial, as I sat and watched them eating their lunches. I was offered several sandwiches but declined, and many of them said "I could never fast like that, look at how sad he looks". They could see how much suffering I was enduring and they walked away talking to themselves and shaking their heads-- no doubt, asking how one could suffer so much in his pursuit of the Kingdom of God. This inspired me to keep going, and I truly did go 3 days with only water as my sustenance. Perhaps my co-workers will be inspired by this to pursue a path of self-denial themselves.

That evening, I was so hungry I was driven to the point of distraction. But somehow I managed to prepare a meal of Prime Rib, with the most amazing smelling horseradish sauce, a huge mouth watering salad, a baked potato with sour cream and chives, and a huge chocolate shake. I sat it all on the table, but in one of the most difficult acts of self-denial I have ever attempted, I slowly ate a bowl of luke warm Quaker Oatmeal instead, with no sugar or sweetener at all. I ate this right in front of the huge spread of culinary delight I had prepared minutes before. I began to weep as I slowly chewed the non-sweetened oatmeal, but I knew that the result would be great reward, as my flesh was brought into obedience to the Spirit.

As I continued to eat the Oatmeal, I remembered that one of my favorite shows, "The Simpsons" was on. But I forced myself to turn to the QVC shopping Network instead, and I watched two women selling a needlepoint kit for over a half an hour! The tempatation was so great to turn to the Simpsons, but I made it, and knew I truly must be growing spiritually, and was "fleeing the youthful lusts" that have such a hold upon me.  I made it for almost 29 minutes, but in a moment of temptation I changed the channel just in time to hear Homer say "Doh!!" and quickly changed back. I had failed!!! I had put "The Simpsons" before my pursuit of God, I had given in to the flesh once again!

I ran over to the counter, and grabbing a habanero pepper, I rubbed it into the very eyes that had watched what I had tried so desperately to avoid, and the enormous pain began to set in. The burning sensation began to grow, but I knew it was for the glory of God, and soon it became so unbearable I could not take it any more. I screamed at the top of my lungs "In the name of all that's sacred you will not dominate me Satan!! You will not dominate me Flesh!!! You will not dominate me World!! May God send the Simpsons to Hell, and forever consign Prime Rib to the vast Lake of Fire for all of eternity!!! May God be glorified forever and ever!!!"  Then I let out one of the most terrible screams I have ever released from my lungs in my entire life.  But I felt liberated beyond belief. I had punished the flesh, and I was winning, and I knew some day by following God's commands, and denying the flesh I would win Heaven too. I was overjoyed!

Despite my neighbor's echoing voice in the distance, shouting from his open window: "Holy $#$@#$@!!! , Pipe down you twisted, whacked out, religious fruitcake!!"  all I really heard were harps from heaven, as I knew that by denying the flesh and keeping the commands I was truly becoming holier day by day.

Mark, I hope your journey is the same as the one I am experiencing. I admire your dedication. Yes--your failure to obey is because of some defect in you. But keep trying Mark. Get up a little earlier for your morning time, and deny yourself coffee to stay awake. Spend much longer times in prayer and make sure you check off every request--the longer the list the better. Go to more meetings--many more meetings. Make sure your dwelling place does not have one speck of dust in it--remember Mark, you are not cleaning the house for you, you are cleaning it for the Lord--and he's watching what kind of job you do during that cleaning process. And read many of the warning verses often. The more you think of not making it to heaven the more motivated you will be to deny the flesh.  God bless you in your endeavor brother! (Rev. 20:15)

Bertram J. Billett