fantasy meetings

[matthew r. sciaini]

All:

I got this idea from something I just heard of recently called "fantasy football" , where people line up teams of their own choosing against each other, and then decide (and wager, I think) on whom they think would win in a game.

What about....fantasy meetings? 

For those of us not aware of the structure of an assembly meeting, it typically consisted of three brothers giving "messages"  (sermons)...with a young brother first, a more mature brother speaking second, and an elder or leading brother (or someone with a "real burden"  speaking last.  The Lord, we were told, made the selection (sometimes it seemed so, other times it did not, at least not to the edifying of the hearers).

Perhaps there were some brethren that you wanted to hear preach (maybe you could even describe a message for them), but it never came to pass.  Well, now on this forum, on this board, you can make it happen, even if only in your dreams.

For example---this would be my meeting......if you are from a different locale or from a different time, you can fill in your own choices....

1.   H.  DeLeon----The need for leadership
2.   D.  Hittle--The need for pillars
3.   R. Ressegue--Servants in the house

This has some potential pitfalls, and I know most of my daffy ideas have been flat out ignored before, but creativity has its price, I guess.

Anyone game?

Matt

[1 al Hartman]

Matt,

Sounds promising, but how do we score & who determines the points?
How's this sound:

1. Verne Carty:  How the Lord Leads Us

2. Tom Maddux:  How the Lord Doesn't Lead Us

3. George Geftakys:  The Implications Of the Attributes Of God As Viewed In Light Of The Heavenly Journey As It Pertains To The Lord's Work Toward Perfecting Our Commitment To the Death Of Self and the Life Of the Cross Reflected In the Vision Of the Order Of the Days Of Creation Applied To the Prophecies Of the End Times In Every Book Of the Bible

al

P.S.-- Hey Matt, can we have fantasy doorkeepers, too?

[outdeep]

If the "fantasy meeting" is listening speakers I consistantly enjoyed listening to I would say:
1.  Jim Hayman
2.  Dan Notti
3.  Curtis Miles
4.  Bob Ford
5.  Earl Sommerville

Some others were hit or miss.  There were those on the other end who I inwardly dreaded when they stood up, but I see no reason to embarrase them by mentioning their name.

[Elizabeth H]

ok, i'm confused. i was laughing hysterically with matt & al's posts and thusly posted my own satirical piece, only to read that dave & abd2 go all serious. huh?

it's not REAL fantasy meetings like: "hey, let's really post which preachers we actually enjoyed"...or is it?

i'm keeping my post deleted until we return to regularly scheduled satirical programming! :-)

matt: it was a great and hilarious idea, so please define your rules for play! i wanna laugh some more!

btw, dave, these preachers humiliated and embarrassed us publicly, what's wrong with throwing it back and having a little fun? like they even read this board! 

[grown up]

ok, i'm confused. i was laughing hysterically with matt & al's posts and thusly posted my own satirical piece, only to read that dave & abd2 go all serious. huh?

it's not REAL fantasy meetings like: "hey, let's really post which preachers we actually enjoyed"...or is it?

i'm keeping my post deleted until we return to regularly scheduled satirical programming! :-)

matt: it was a great and hilarious idea, so please define your rules for play! i wanna laugh some more!

btw, dave, these preachers humiliated and embarrassed us publicly, what's wrong with throwing it back and having a little fun? like they even read this board! 

Uhm I deleted my original post. I was not being serious. It is a great idea and I thought it was hillarious. One of the brothers on the list I included stood in my face and was so angry over nothing so I would seriously not want to really hear him. I didnt think we were being serious. My intention of having the 6 on my llist was to make light about how long that day would be. Now back to the regular scheduled programming.

Matt, thanks for your post it is creative and I got a laugh out of it.   I like the fantasy doorkeeprs idea what about fantasy seminars?  I'll be watching for the scoring rules


This would be my "fantasy meeting"  I remember the white board where you'd have the title and points A thru E. Wow I wished for a Starbucks in my area( there were no Starbucks nearby)       because its supposed to be a  2 1/2 hour meeting I wont list the 5 points

1) Fellowship: The need to be committed
Announcements( this takes 10 minutes since we have events everyday allday and evening)
2) What it means to be committed
3) "the work"  how workers are chosen and raised up

preprayer at 2pm

[grown up]

Matt,

Sounds promising, but how do we score & who determines the points?
How's this sound:

1. Verne Carty:  How the Lord Leads Us

2. Tom Maddux:  How the Lord Doesn't Lead Us

3. George Geftakys:  The Implications Of the Attributes Of God As Viewed In Light Of The Heavenly Journey As It Pertains To The Lord's Work Toward Perfecting Our Commitment To the Death Of Self and the Life Of the Cross Reflected In the Vision Of the Order Of the Days Of Creation Applied To the Prophecies Of the End Times In Every Book Of the Bible

al

P.S.-- Hey Matt, can we have fantasy doorkeepers, too?

hey Al, can you tell me how many points the 3rd brother has so I can  make a coffee run before the meeting 

[outdeep]

ok, i'm confused. i was laughing hysterically with matt & al's posts and thusly posted my own satirical piece, only to read that dave & abd2 go all serious. huh?

it's not REAL fantasy meetings like: "hey, let's really post which preachers we actually enjoyed"...or is it?

i'm keeping my post deleted until we return to regularly scheduled satirical programming! :-)

matt: it was a great and hilarious idea, so please define your rules for play! i wanna laugh some more!

btw, dave, these preachers humiliated and embarrassed us publicly, what's wrong with throwing it back and having a little fun? like they even read this board! 

OK, I wasn't trying to start a contraversy here.  I wasn't sure what Matt was looking for.  I do enjoy satire.  I was thinking of doing a saterical post, but I didn't have time to come up with one.  So I went with the serious comment.

I don't have any problem with satire.  In fact, I had put such piece up myself.  Some of the folks I was thinking of didn't do me any harm.  They were just lousy speakers in an environment where it was thought that all brothers should preach.

Please don't let my post splash cold water on things. 

[outdeep]

OK.  I got us on the wrong trail the last time, so here goes my thoughts for my team:

1.  Pop up Perry - All day Saturday during your stewardships you were thinking of this great word.  After dinner, you work late into the night studying, organizing, and polishing your message for God's people.  You wait with great anticipation as the last prayer is made before the ministry is time.  You put your feet into the harness ready to go forward but . . .  before the last Amen is even said, Pop-up Perry has popped up and raced to the front.  He gets up every week saying "The Lord put this on my heart in my quiet time".  Next week, you are going to tie his shoelaces together.

2.  Three Point Thadius - Thadius is a faithful brother.  He is always ready steady with a monotone, "well, are you rejoicing".  He doesn't always get up, but when he does it is a ready steady three point message.  Usually his message is "Today I want to talk about servants" and his points are "A servant is available", "A servant is faithful", "A servant enters in."  A verse is attached to every point.

3.  Fred the Flipper - You can usually tell which chapter Fred is in because it is the chapter he spends the least time in.  He will introduce the text and then start having you flip throughout the Bible to thousands of verses that suppsedly "illuminate" the text.  The verses are usually connected because they happen to share a common word, but sometimes the connection is not so obvious.  While flipping, little side comments like "this is tremendous" is used to generate excitement for the exercise.

Maybe I'll think of more later.

[grown up]

OK.  I got us on the wrong trail the last time, so here goes my thoughts for my team:

1.  Pop up Perry - All day Saturday during your stewardships you were thinking of this great word.  After dinner, you work late into the night studying, organizing, and polishing your message for God's people.  You wait with great anticipation as the last prayer is made before the ministry is time.  You put your feet into the harness ready to go forward but . . .  before the last Amen is even said, Pop-up Perry has popped up and raced to the front.  He gets up every week saying "The Lord put this on my heart in my quiet time".  Next week, you are going to tie his shoelaces together.

2.  Three Point Thadius - Thadius is a faithful brother.  He is always ready steady with a monotone, "well, are you rejoicing".  He doesn't always get up, but when he does it is a ready steady three point message.  Usually his message is "Today I want to talk about servants" and his points are "A servant is available", "A servant is faithful", "A servant enters in."  A verse is attached to every point.

3.  Fred the Flipper - You can usually tell which chapter Fred is in because it is the chapter he spends the least time in.  He will introduce the text and then start having you flip throughout the Bible to thousands of verses that suppsedly "illuminate" the text.  The verses are usually connected because they happen to share a common word, but sometimes the connection is not so obvious.  While flipping, little side comments like "this is tremendous" is used to generate excitement for the exercise.

Maybe I'll think of more later.

Hi Dave, Wow I forgot about Saturdays. It was usually a dinner I had to prepare   I would've maybe tied "pop up perry's shoestrings to the chair on Sunday.. Oh wait perhaps i was his roommate so maybe hide his car keys

[outdeep]

I found a few more for my team:

Cliché Carl – Carl has a difficult time coming up with meaningful stories and analogies to engage God’s people, so he relies on clichés.  Carl is always ready and you can always depend on him.  Whenever he shares the gospel publicly he will start off with the phrase “the gospel is good news”.  He will engage his audience with such gems as “so what’s going to save you?  Will your yacht save you?  Will your bank account save you?  Huh?  Only Christ can save you.”  He will further his message with such insights as “So you’re doing well under the circumstances.  What are you doing under the circumstances?”  and “It’s only what you learn after you know everything that really matters.”  Carl can prepare messages quickly because he simply has to choose another passage of scripture and rearrange the order of his clichés.

Discerner of Theme Dale – Dale operates under the belief that the Holy Spirit superintends the worship service and gives it a unique and distinctive theme.  He will usually begin his word by saying, “Well, it was obvious that the theme of worship today was ‘the centrality of Christ’ and that is exactly the same burden that God put on my heart in this message ‘Abraham, the friend of God’”.  Everyone shouts “Amen” at this stunning leading of God.  Some are nagged by the thought that they didn’t quite see this theme in worship and how it connects with his message but that is only because Dale is so much more spiritually discerning.

Deer in the Headlights Don – Don is a weaker brother.  In fact, he lacks in the area of commonly accepted social skills.  However, God has put a burden upon Don’s heart to minister to God’s people on Sunday morning.  He sees it as a direct leading of the Holy Spirit though it could be attributed to the fact that at the brother’s meeting two weeks ago the leading brothers railed and exhorted that everyone needs to be exercised to give ministry.  Don has been under much stress all day Saturday and through the worship thinking about what he has to do.  At last, the final prayer was given and he took his place at the starting block.  As soon as the brother started to say “Amen”, Don shot to the front almost knocking over the card table.  He made it and felt a sense of relief.  He then turned around and saw a million puzzled faces with inquisitive eyes and mouth agape.

It took a few moments, but he began to mumble his message.

“SPEAK UP, BROTHER!” came a harsh voice to his left.

His message, which last night was so important and now sounded lame, came back to him.  He began to share his thoughts.  The room was silent except for the sound of a cricket cherping in the back of the room.  He was relieved when he gave a verse reference and people responded and started turning pages in their Bible.  He gave his three points and was surprised that he was done in 28 seconds.  A few merciful sisters said “Amen” occasionally because they felt sorry for him.  After he sat down, a leading brother got up and launched into his message which had so much more authority and Don began to remember the things he forgot to say.

After the meeting, a leading brother encouraged Don to exercise his gift at the Thursday night prayer meeting for a while before he got up on a Sunday again.

[1 al Hartman]

hey Al, can you tell me how many points the 3rd brother has
(3. George Geftakys:  The Implications Of the Attributes Of God As Viewed In Light Of The Heavenly Journey As It Pertains To The Lord's Work Toward Perfecting Our Commitment To the Death Of Self and the Life Of the Cross Reflected In the Vision Of the Order Of the Days Of Creation Applied To the Prophecies Of the End Times In Every Book Of the Bible)
   ...so I can  make a coffee run before the meeting 

ABD2,

Not sure just how it breaks down-- better bring an urnful to keep you awake & an empty gallon container so you can "decaffeinate" when necessary!
Elizabeth,

Please bring back your original post.  I was guessing that all three of your fantasy bros. had a last name in common...

al

[1 al Hartman]

Elizabeth had added a novel twist to the fantasy game:  The poster gives the themes of the messages, and the readers have to guess the names of the speakers.  Try these:

1. Consequences: why they must never be positive.

2. The purpose of nepotism in the Work.

3. Fanning the "heavenly breezes" into a category five hurricane.

(Hint: There may be several correct answers to any of these.)

al

[Joe Sperling]

Dave---

That is hilarious! "Deer in the headlights Don" reminds me of the one time I got up and
gave a "word" one Sunday morning. I had convinced myself that I was to give a word,
and I worried about it all night, and Sunday morning too. I did exactly what you said---
I literally lept up when the brother finished the prayer and beat all the competition to
the front. I had prepared what I thought was a good "word" and had a line-up of one-
liners to go with it. I actually got quite a few laughs, and sat down, with quite a few
brothers eyeing me suspiciously.

I was "sincere" about giving the message, and several brothers told me I was "really growing"
in the Lord due to giving the word. But it had all actually been quite forced, and scared the
living daylights out of me at the time. Your other characters ring quite true also--that is really
funny!!

--Joe

[Elizabeth H]

certain broth-uhz preached themes that were near and dear to their burdened hearts. what always cracked me up was when abrother would get up and preach his theme, the second brother would get up and improve on it and the third brother would get up and correct all the errors of the first two brothers and then try to preach what the theme REALLY meant!  by the time the third brother was preaching, all the saints had exhausted their "amen" supply since they didn't know who they should be amen-ing anymore.

if I "amen" to the 1st brother, does "amen-ing" to the 3rd brother mean I'm disagreeing with the first two?

on certain topics, such as "wife-training" for example, it was always patently obvious which saints supported the idea vs. the ones who disagreed. there were two very tell-tale signs: who was saying amen and who was taking notes. if you were not saying amen and not taking notes, you disagreed. if you were barking out "amen" every couple minutes and vigorously scribbling notes---you agreed.

during the whole "wife-training" phase there was this unspoken support/dismiss preaching going on. one brother would get up and disseminate his ideas on "wife-training"---one of the supporting texts was sarah calling abraham "lord". once that brother sat down, another brother would get up and give 'corrective' preaching. hilarious stuff, really.

as far as i can tell, this only produced rampant confusion & various (unspoken, of course!) schisms.

so i suppose my fantasy meeting would be one in which brothers preach on their favorite theme, only to have the follow-up brother totally tear apart their message and point out all the flaws. to round off my fantasy meeting, i'd have a beautiful sister rip her headcovering off, shout out stunning truths and be promptly hustled from the meeting screaming out GG's secrets!

[grown up]

certain broth-uhz preached themes that were near and dear to their burdened hearts. what always cracked me up was when abrother would get up and preach his theme, the second brother would get up and improve on it and the third brother would get up and correct all the errors of the first two brothers and then try to preach what the theme REALLY meant!  by the time the third brother was preaching, all the saints had exhausted their "amen" supply since they didn't know who they should be amen-ing anymore.



so i suppose my fantasy meeting would be one in which brothers preach on their favorite theme, only to have the follow-up brother totally tear apart their message and point out all the flaws. to round off my fantasy meeting, i'd have a beautiful sister rip her headcovering off, shout out stunning truths and be promptly hustled from the meeting screaming out GG's secrets!


   Too funny

There were times that I would be in the meeting and the first brother would run up and give his message, the second brother would get up and the message sounded almost like the first brothers message, then the third brother would get up and by the time he got to his second point half of the saints were in the back room "resting"  Even funnier were the ANOP's( All night of prayer) where it would start and have a full house and by 2 am the Amen's and the crowd start dwindling until there are 3 brothers left.