moonflower2
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« Reply #15 on: December 12, 2005, 09:58:15 am » |
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Cabin Fever Comes Early     Certifiable: Buried under 10 inches of snow. Had more after that. Overpass closed for ice. Admit it, Al. You're jealous.  After having a 3.5 hour trip home on Thursday I deserve a break. Look, I hung the lights and fed the cat. Leave me alone. I shoveled snow. Do you want me to go on outreach? Afternoon meeting? Pre-prayer? I went to church today. Fed the cat. Hung the lights. Shoveled snow. Leave me alone. Now I'm making baskets with my friends. Meine Freunden sind Smiley, Winky, Cheesy, Grinny, Angry, Sad, Shocked, Cool, Huh, Roll Eyes, Tongue, Embarrassed, Lipsealed, Undecided, Kiss Kringle, Cry Ringle, and last but NOT least, Evil Single. Look, I'm happy. We're happy. I'm rejoicing! We're rejoicing! Are you rejoicing? I vacuumed, hung the lights, fed the cat, did the dishes. Leave me alone. You're jealous of my artwork. Hey, want to buy some baskets? We can weave your name in. What are your favorite colors? Pick from the colors we have in our list below: ##############
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« Last Edit: December 12, 2005, 10:18:48 am by moonflower »
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vernecarty
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« Reply #16 on: December 12, 2005, 05:22:32 pm » |
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Cabin Fever Comes Early Certifiable: Buried under 10 inches of snow. Had more after that. Overpass closed for ice. Admit it, Al. You're jealous. After having a 3.5 hour trip home on Thursday I deserve a break. Look, I hung the lights and fed the cat. Leave me alone. I shoveled snow. Do you want me to go on outreach? Afternoon meeting? Pre-prayer? I went to church today. Fed the cat. Hung the lights. Shoveled snow. Leave me alone. Now I'm making baskets with my friends. Meine Freunden sind Smiley, Winky, Cheesy, Grinny, Angry, Sad, Shocked, Cool, Huh, Roll Eyes, Tongue, Embarrassed, Lipsealed, Undecided, Kiss Kringle, Cry Ringle, and last but NOT least, Evil Single. Look, I'm happy. We're happy. I'm rejoicing! We're rejoicing! Are you rejoicing? I vacuumed, hung the lights, fed the cat, did the dishes. Leave me alone. You're jealous of my artwork. Hey, want to buy some baskets? We can weave your name in. What are your favorite colors? Pick from the colors we have in our list below: ############## I like it! Adds a bit of color and spice in keeping with the festive season. Can you make reindeer?  Verne |
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al Hartman
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« Reply #17 on: December 12, 2005, 11:06:37 pm » |
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Admit it, Al. You're jealous
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You're right, of course. Ever since they took away all my pencils, pens and scissors and started feeding me through a slot in the door, I have been bored out of what little mind I have. If only I had the talent and patience to create computer art, I could be blissfully happy... But every time I get all my santas in a row, a little Mrs PacMan comes along and gobbles them up. OOOOooooohh, that Mrs PacMan!!! If I were Mr PacMan I'd file for divorce! Hey, Mario-- can your brothers help me out here? Hey, here's a guy I remember from my pre-assy days in the pentecostal church:  The pastor called him Satan Clause! Anyway, yeah-- I'm jealous! I wish I knew how to make my lettering look like this! That would be so cool! Or if I could make my little smiley santas go across the page like this: That would be awesome! Oh well... Some people get all the brains and talent! The rest of us can only look on in awe. I gotta go now. My lunch is coming through the door... |
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« Last Edit: December 12, 2005, 11:10:07 pm by al Hartman, aka Weird al »
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moonflower2
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« Reply #18 on: December 13, 2005, 05:15:45 pm » |
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Al, We can't all be artists, but you are still a valuable person. Ask 'em for a Magic Marker. They smell real good. |
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vernecarty
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« Reply #19 on: December 13, 2005, 07:36:23 pm » |
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Al, Ask 'em for a Magic Marker. They smell real good. But don't taste too good... |
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moonflower2
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« Reply #20 on: December 13, 2005, 11:36:41 pm » |
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But don't taste too good... Verne! Well I never! Are you in here, too? Do you know Al's room number? Maybe we can grab his food before they serve it to him. All I'm getting to eat are crayons. |
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matthew r. sciaini
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« Reply #21 on: December 18, 2005, 05:50:57 am » |
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The brothers The brothers If the door to the board room isn't shut, and if offering is done being counted.  If GG isn't around, for who can compete with his yell (PRAISE THE LORD!)?!!!!!  But whatever.......... Let's bounce off the cyberspace walls some more!!!!! HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTYHAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY HAVIN' MY PARTY The more the merrier!!! PsychoMatt The brothers The brothers The brothers The brothers The brothers The brothers The brothers The brothers The brothers The brothers The brothers The brothers The brothers The brothers The brothers The brothers The brothers |
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Joe Sperling
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« Reply #23 on: December 21, 2005, 05:53:59 am » |
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"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" is a very untrue statement
to say the least. It's as ridiculous as saying "You can lead a salamander to the Marriott,
but you can't make him book a room that has a radio playing country music". All of this
deeply perturbs me and I'll tell you why.
When I was a little boy my Grandmother said: "Grandson, when I was a little boy my Grandmother
said" and I never truly got over it until I was nearing the age of seventeen and realized that my
Grandmother's Grandmother had been a water-lily grower in the state of Florida and worked for
a man named Higby, who was trying to discover a new discovery. It didn't matter what he discovered, he just wanted to be the first, so he sat in a rocking chair thinking and chugging
down "Yoo Hoos" until the whole porch was covered with empty bottles which attracted bees,
and I received a severe sting and was rushed to the nearest hospital, and learned upon exit that
they had amputated my left knee. Surprisingly, my ankle and foot were still in place, and so was
my thigh, just my knee had been amputated.
In high school I was on the track team and always came in last, which was strange because usually
I was the only one in the race. I learned to play the guitar from an old man on Mason street who had the worst case of dandruff I had ever seen. I showed up one day with a bottle of "Head & Shoulders", and later as I walked away with that bandage over my badly swollen nose, I realized that that old man had one of the best left hooks I had ever seen and asked if I could become his manager. He agreed, and he went on to become the best middle-weight boxer that year, though he still had a habit of punching me in the nose every time a commercial for Head & Shoulders came
on the television.
Now I am situated here in the South Pole still chasing my lifes dream: to become the first man to actually plant and harvest Parsley in the Antarctic. I have formed a small surf/punk/polka band down here with me and 3 penguins called "Corky and the Vestibules". No hits so far but were trying.
Any comments on the above are welcomed as long as you don't mention horse's and not being able to make them drink. I think just about enough has been said concerning that subject.
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al Hartman
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« Reply #24 on: December 21, 2005, 07:26:15 am » |
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...my Grandmother said: "Grandson, when I was a little boy..."
Joe, the point at which I discovered that your grandmother was once a little boy is where you lost me. I'm truly sorry-- I really tried...  al |
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moonflower2
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« Reply #25 on: December 21, 2005, 08:37:46 am » |
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Surprisingly, my ankle and foot were still in place, and so was
my thigh, just my knee had been amputated.
Way cool. I got my knee amputated when I got bit by a possum but I ended up with three knees. |
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al Hartman
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« Reply #26 on: December 21, 2005, 03:38:01 pm » |
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Way cool. I got my knee amputated when I got bit by a possum but I ended up with three knees.
It's possible that the possum was just playing-- we've all heard of a playing possum. At any rate the result left you quite kneedy...  al |
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outdeep
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« Reply #27 on: December 21, 2005, 09:42:57 pm » |
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Please pray for our Christian mime troupe. They have an unspoken request. |
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thomasson
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« Reply #28 on: December 22, 2005, 01:55:14 am » |
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Please pray for our Christian mime troupe. They have an unspoken request. I am just trying to show off my picture. I hope this works. |
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matthew r. sciaini
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« Reply #29 on: December 23, 2005, 07:52:05 am » |
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Ladies and Germs:
Tonight we present...........Tales from the Dead Zone!!!
We go tonight to an area far from any freeways, far from any higher institutes of education, far from any fabulous shopping malls....
We go to a place where the most common sign on buildings is "available"........
Let us go omnisciently into one of these mid 50's homes.........and spend an evening in.....the dead zone!!!!
Tonight we will join the Florsheim family for dinner, or din-din, as everyone in their family likes to call it, even the grown-ups, who aren't really grown up, as you may probably guess.........
(Act one, scene one)
Mama Florsheim is in her '70s style kitchen preparing "din-din" for her family. Our view takes in a room majoring in pink and orange, with dollops of green thrown about just for fun. Remember, though, that this is set at the present time (2005). Not only does the kitchen major in pink and orange, but so does the meal. Let's open the door, and.....
Mama Florsheim: (humming to herself).........la la la la la la-la-la....Ummmmmm, I hope that this salmon loaf with Kraft macaroni and cheese will go over big with the family and whoever else may show up for din-din tonight!!!!!!
(phone rings; she answers it)
Mama Florsheim: Hello? Oh, hi, honey. What am I doing? Oh, I'm just making din-din for us and our family tonight. Why? Are we having some guests over? (ecstatic) We ARE?! Who?!!! I'll get out the fine china!!!! (listens further) One of your clients over at the paint factory? Oh, one of the big wigs at the paint factory!!!! I'll bet he'll like my bright and colorful meal!!! ....What am I making? Oh, salmon loaf and Kraft macaroni and cheese with Velveeta on the side. I'm preparing brussels sprouts as well.....I'm hoping he'll.......What's that? You'd rather send out for pizza? Why? I'm sure it will be all right. Nothing like a good home-cooked meal to please the higher-ups.....Oh, and he's bringing his wife, too?!! Oh, how lovely!!! Dear, could you please pick up some butttermilk and beets at the store on the way home... I want to represent as much of the color spectrum as I can on our din-din table tonight. Thanks. I'll see you when you get home......oh, when will they be here? 6:30? Perfect! Bye!!!
(hangs up phone)
Mama Florsheim: (yells) Children!!!!!!
(As she yells, a boy and a girl run to her in the midst of their playing. The boy, Red, only ten years old but already a budding little scientist, has his hands covered with what appears to be the residue of internal organs of some sort of once-living creature. The girl, Blue, an eight year old, has her goggles on and a couple of beakers in her hands with unknown substances fuming and spitting forth their effluvia. She, too, is a budding little scientist.)
Mama Florsheim: Children, we need to clean up, because guests are coming to din-din tonight!!!!!
Red and Blue together: They ARE?!!!!! Cool!!!!
Red: Maybe I can get some of their blood and tell them what type they are!!!!!
Blue: Mama, do you suppose put this (holds up beaker in her left hand) on their salmon loaf and see if it causes them to change color?
Mama Florsheim: Now, now, children, we only do science experiments on people we know!!! Just get cleaned up and help me set up the din-din table!!!
Red and Blue together: Cool!!!! (they run upstairs)
Mama Florsheim (still preparing dinner, to herself): Maybe I should call Papa Florsheim and have him pick up some blueberries and corn muffin mix....we don't yet have a totally diverse table........
(Stay tuned for Act I, Scene II !!!!)
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