My sorrow

[sirons]

I am so sorry and grieved to hear about what has happened in the past few weeks and days.  My heart goes out to all of you who must be so disappointed and ashamed.

When I left almost 13 years ago, I heard how shocked some of you were by my leaving, how betrayed some of you felt by me, and even how angry some of you were with me.  It was hard then and is hard now to accept that the very person who spoke the Word of God to you, whom you respected and looked up to, should turn out to be so despicable.  You have gone through so much and put up with so much.

Those of you whom I publicly embarrassed and demeaned, please forgive me.   Those of you whom I failed to come to your defense when you so desperately needed me to do so, please forgive me.  And, yes, those of you who say even now that I was George's "chief enabler", please forgive me.

A few years ago when all my sins (from my youth up) were weighing heavily upon me, the Lord gave me this reading from the Heidelberg Catechism:

"Even though my conscience accuses me of having grievously sinned against all God's commandments... and even though I am still inclined toward all evil -- nevertheless, without my deserving it at all, out of sheer grace, God grants and credits to me the perfect satisfaction, righteousness, and holiness of Christ, as if I had never sinned nor been a sinner, as if I had been as perfectly obedient as Christ was obedient for me.  All I need to do is to accept the gift of God with a believing heart."

My prayer was then and still is today that God would give me faith to accept God's crediting to me "the perfect satisfaction, righteousness, and holiness of Christ".

"Thy grace alone, O God, to me can pardon speak; Thy power alone, O Son of God, Can this sore bondage break.  No other work save Thine, no other blood will do.  No strength save that which is divine can bear me safely through."

With sorrow,

Steve Irons

[outdeep]

Steve,

Thank you for your sincere and courageous note on this site.

I think those who are most adamant in condemning you – saying you should have done this or done that – are probably those who have the least understanding of what it is like to be in the emotional context you were in.

I love a story that a parent on my son’s wrestling team told me.  She would scream from the stands, “Stand up, James!  Stand up, James!” when his opponent had gotten advantage over him.

One day, James said to his mother after a match, “If I was able to stand up, don’t you think I would?”

Everything seems straightforward from the stands.  You should have stood against George sooner.  You should have caused him to repent.  You should have been willing to lose all for the truth.  You should have walked away sooner and turn your back on years of financial, time, and emotional investment.  You should never have gone along with George.

But, its not that easy to turn on a man you have come to respect, revere and value as an authority.  He was your father in the faith and, in the early days, did you much good.  Those like you who eventually took a stand (however perfect or imperfect) should be commended, not condemned.

Sure, there might be anger from people in the past.  But this is a day of mercy and empathy.  It is not a day of condemnation.  If I understand the gospel right, God’s perspective is not about what you should have done, but failed.  It is the wonder of God’s mercy that you are able to recognize your sin at all.  It is the glory of His grace that has removed that sin from you.

-Dave Sable

P.S.  There were extremely few (if any) who, when George taught us that we were a part of the faithful remnant church, stood up and said, “not me!  I’m just happy to be saved by His grace and an object of His love.”  We all bit the hook of spiritual pride and found ourselves being dragged onto the ship.  Something to keep in mind before we stand up and start throwing that first stone at each another.

[editor]

Dave and Steve

Steve, I forgive you, and did long ago.  Your essays were of tremendous help to me, as were your's Dave.

I hope that this thread becomes the most widely read thread on the board, because I am so completely blessed by the thoughts communicated here.

We do not want to take pleasure in a man's downfall, neither do we want to grieve or rage over what we or someone else should have done.  We have all failed, and we are all guilty of spiritual and "fleshly" pride.

What we need is God's grace, which is a free gift, not based on our works.

The reprobate has as much warrant to God's grace as the righteous.  Christ Jesus died for sinners.

Thank you all, and please pray for this situation.

Brent Tr0ckman

[Rob Kazarinoff]

Dear brother Steve,

You probably don't remember me but I certainly remember you.  We all can look back on our past and say, "I should have done thus and so."  I know I certainly can.  Be assured, "His Grace is sufficient."  "...and I heard saying, Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto Him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever and ever."

He Alone is Worthy.  Worhip Him.

Your brother in Jesus Christ,

Rob Kazarinoff

[Joe Sperling]

Steve----

You probably won't remember me--it was so long ago,
but I remember when I heard you had left the Assembly
I was amazed. I had left in 1980. I remember I tried to
send you some letters and a book called "Letters to a
devastated Christian". You were always very kind to me--
I stayed at your house once and talked to you in your kitchen. I have to say that at that time I was amazed that an "exalted elder" like you would take the time to talk to a lowly brother like me. But Steve I just wanted to say you are forgiven totally by me and I'm sure by everyone else who reads your story of leaving and your recent comments. I wish onbly the best for you and your family and may God bless you.   Sincerely, Joe

[Arthur]

Steve, Thank you so much for writing the articles. They helped in making it clear the problems in this ministry, that I may be free from them. Though you made mistakes, when the time came, you did the right thing. That's what counts.

Arthur

[4Him]

Steve,
All I can say is how much you've encouraged me through your writing.  The Lord has especially used it (along w/Rachel's) to open my eyes.  Tho' you've never directly offended me, I am very moved by your sorrow.  Might that we all would have such sorrow.  But for the grace of God none of us can stand.

Praise Him, Praise Him
Jesus our blessed Redeemer!

Tim Souther

[Nancy Newswander]

Steve:
I, for one, would like to ask your forgiveness.  Forgive me for using all of my energies trying to fit the square peg (what I was told were the reasons you left) into a round hole (what I knew to be true about your character and labor among us), instead of using my resources to find out what the truth was surrounding your departure.  Please forgive me.  

 

[ptemplin7]

All I can say is Amen to the thoughts posted here.

Steve, I remember the shock when they announced your leaving. Never did understand it until now.

I trust the Lord will continually bless you and the rest of us as we move on with the Savious.

Amen to you brent! I hope this thread gets read by all (You might want to put a link to it directly from the web site.

[VinnieGalati]

Hello Steve,

This is Vince Galati, from St. Louis, Mo. I lived in your home in the summer of 1987 while I spent some time in Fullerton.  I appreciate your letter, especially the quotation at the end. God has given me  wonderful revelation of His forgiveness and completed and finished work at the Cross.  He said "It is finished".  Enough Said! Hallelujah!  Greet your family for me. God Bless- VPG

[garylwilson]

Hi Steve
This a note from Gary Wilson

       You already know this but it bears repeating.  I was shocked when you left.  I wasn't angry nor did I condemn you.  I was impressed with the letter you had written.
Having known you for years and having experienced 1st hand your love and compassion for me - the weakest of all - how could I ever but think the best of you.

I always thought your greatest gift was your ability to show
compassion in counseling.  You have no idea how many times when I was totally discouraged and in utter despair that your goin out and speaking to me breathed life into my soul.  Because of that, I will always be indebted to you.

I will be always grateful to God that you had a place in my life.  You are part of a handful of individuals that I can say that to.

Years ago I had mentioned possibly having you and Maraget to dinner.  I would like to renew that invitation.
I also would like to hear your story of what happened and
where God has lead you.

My email address is gary@shurflo.com
I have always have and will always consider you a dear
friend.  I do have 2 requests.  1: Never have me house sit and drive your 411 volkswagon or 2: Don't ever let me try
to fix another one of those cars.

Take care
      Gary Wilson

[EricFoy]

In his reply, Dave Sable makes a statement that is so concise and true, I can't help myself.  I must repeat it:

"There were extremely few (if any) who, when George taught us that we were a part of the faithful remnant church, stood up and said, “not me!  I’m just happy to be saved by His grace and an object of His love.”  We all bit the hook of spiritual pride and found ourselves being dragged onto the ship.  Something to keep in mind before we stand up and start throwing that first stone at each another."

To this I say, Amen, and include myself.  Praise God for his deliverance from pride!

Dear Steve:

I don't expect you to remember me or my wife, Sheila, but I want you to know that based on the few facts I have heard pertaining to the circumstances of your leaving, I cannot see how you could have taken any other action.  You had no other choice.  Not only that, but I would like to commend you for paying attention to the things that matter, and for attending to the relationships of highest priority for a man walking with God, namely, your family.  Clearly, you acted in good conscience before God. You and your family were always a great encouragement to us.  Thank you.

-Eric

[BenJapheth]

Eric, you're a dear guy.  Welcome to a place of consolation.

I, also, would be interested in having phone numbers and emails of folks on the site.  Could someone put this together?  Hey, Eric maybe you?  

I wish the profiles had a place for a short bio and phone numbers...Some emails/half of the them are on the profiles.  Brent, perhaps, someone could put a file together with a short bio paragraph, years in the assembly '82 -'98 for example, job, location address, etc.  Can we broaden the profiles?  Is their a reunion being planned?  Perhaps, an "every five year" get together should be planned? ...Do something this summer?

At least for me I'd rather call some people, or have certain conversations in person - So, having phone numbers and addresses would be super.

Also, this site should serve primarily to:

1.  To connect, unite, and reacquaint people
2.  Get people healed-up and reconciled
3.  Be a place of encouragement, goodwill, and affirmation
4.  Serve as a guardian or "fort" against future abuse

Grace To All, Love Believes All Things....Chuck

[brian]

I, also, would be interested in having phone numbers and emails of folks on the site.  Could someone put this together?  Hey, Eric maybe you?
I wish the profiles had a place for a short bio and phone numbers...Some emails/half of the them are on the profiles.

the people who want their emails on a public list have included them in their profile and made them publicly viewable. the ones who don't didn't. remember, this is a public forum, so don't put anything here that you wouldn't want the whole world to see. and by our stats, most of the world has been watching  

i may add an expanded bio to the profiles sometime in the future (when i get time, and i already have a long wish list) but i will not add phone numbers. it would be a mistake to start publishing phone numbers on this website. it wouldn't be appropriate for any public forum, and especially this one as there are too many unstable people in and out of the assembly who are really stressed out right now and it only takes one whackjob to terrorize many innocents. if you want phone numbers then ask people to private message them to you, and make a list if you like. just be careful to make doubly sure that everyone on a publicly available list wants to be there.

Also, this site should serve primarily to:

1.  To connect, unite, and reacquaint people
2.  Get people healed-up and reconciled
3.  Be a place of encouragement, goodwill, and affirmation
4.  Serve as a guardian or "fort" against future abuse

i like this list. i would add a subheading to #2 that notes the fact that healing cannot occur if past sufferings are glossed over and swept under the rug just because the leaders are starting to come around. i can't think of a bigger tragedy than for someone who has suffered serious harassment or abuse (physical, sexual or psychological) to come here and get their hopes up that perhaps they finally can get some kind of understanding and support, and reaffirm their dignity and confidence in themselves by publicly facing their oppressor(s) with their crimes, only to have the door of opportunity slammed in their face because what they had to say was not 'edifying' or somesuch. talk about adding insult to injury!   and let me say now that anyone who is in this situation, feel free to contact me. i promise i will do all i can to help you. your abuser will not get off scot-free!  

i think its a bad idea to start laying out what this site should or should not be for people, even though, of course, we all have our own ideas about it, including brent and i. i personally was deeply offended when brent deleted the humor only section of the bb, even though i didn't have a single post in there, and the reason i didn't have a single post in there was because i wasn't really comfortable with the mocking nature of it myself. it wasn't for me, but there was a reason it was the largest thread on this board both in terms of number of posts and number of times viewed. it clearly was serving a purpose for a lot of people. i realize brent deleted it as a gesture of goodwill towards the leaders who were taking real steps towards change, but i am of the firmly held opinion that it was totally inappropiate. gotta love those firmly held opinions    brent repented of the things he wrote there, and thats great, but that should have led him to delete his posts, and not everyone elses. if nothing else, it would leave the door open for someone else to repent of the same thing and delete their own posts. what happened was the sort of action that comes right out of assembly thinking concerning the need to legislate proper behavior and make people do the 'right thing'. but what we have stated before, and i would like to reaffirm, is that the only time posts will be deleted or discouraged is when they are in violation of the user agreement, such as harassing, impersonating, use bad language, etc. i hope there is noone out there who is not posting because they are worried that what they genuinely have to say is just not happy enough, or good enough, because that kind of thinking would lead to the one-sided kind of fakery that goes on on the genuinebeliever.com message board, and defeats the nature of an open forum.

i'm out of time, but i wanted to quickly add to what i wrote above that brent has overall been doing a fantastic job, and is doing his best to navigate an extremely volatile and complex situation, and i applaud him for it. he has been the point man in this situation and has taken lots of heat from all sides for it, and i admire him for that. hip hip...  

[BenJapheth]

Brian, I agree no phone number.  I repent in sackcloth and ashes, Brian...A little bio section would be nice.

I also believe Brent has done an excellent job navigating between wronged parties and the parties who are trying to make things right.  Not easy!

No matter what Brent's going to be considered by someone or a group of people of not getting the balance right. Peacemakers always get the arrows from both East and West.

To be frank, I'm glad I'm not in his shoes. For those who don't know Brent has been challenged in balancing work, family, and this site.  Thank you Suzie for giving us your husband.  He's making a huge difference in the lives of hundreds!  This site has been a second fulltime job for him.  He has been both prophet and minister to us.  Thanks, Brent.  Also, thank you Brian for your service...You're a quiet, yet huge part of this thing.  You're a servant of the Most High God.  Yep, no doubt about it your "humor area" was a "sacrificial lamb" that day.

All the best...Grace to all.