The Blue Whale

[DavidM]

   A long while back I dissed a well known Christian artist, "Kinkaid" (Spelling?)  at that  time Moon posted a thread about my finer points. I think the Kinkaid thread was the last straw!  But I could be wrong? I've never found out why she did it or why she hates me?

[Mark C.]

Hi Jem,

  Thanks for the apology and it is most eagerly accepted.  Now, I should apologize to you for not understanding that you were just being sarcastic.

  The reason your response irked me so much was: first, I thought you were being serious, and second, it has to do with why and to whom I write to on the WP thread.

  The "second" reason requires some explanation.  When I first left the Assembly there wasn't a whole lot of support for those who left.  I was personally dealing with a lot of self doubt at the time re. my leaving and though I had resolved most of the theological issues I still struggled deeply with emotional ones.

  I came across a BB called "Wounded Pilgrims" that was dedicated to former members of cults.  I was greatly helped by reading stories of individuals dealing with their post cult experiences.  Then I met Dr. Ronald Enroth who wrote "Churches That Abuse" and "Recovering From Churches That Abuse" and his method of letting former members tell their own stories influenced me as well.

  The stories that I relate are based on real people with real pain and it is a suffering that I am very sensitive to (having been so deeply troubled myself).  It is not concerning my attempts at posting being made a parody (which I agree could easily and very comically be produced by Joe  ) rather it is the individuals that I'm trying to write about, and to, being ridiculed that caused me to bristle as I did.

  When Brent started his Geftakys Assembly site and this BB it was like a dream come true to me for now former members could have a resource that I never had (and also those many that left before me).  As a result at least one former member who had been wandering for many years was restored in his faith and many others contacted me telling me what a blessing it was to discover that they were not destined for the second death, as they had assumed was their destiny for leaving the group. 

  Whenever I come to the BB I see the potential reader as the confused, and the hurting.  Talking about nonsense, politics, stocks, etc. is inevitable--- as all of life is not about death and taxes, but it seems to me that former members should have some empathy and sympathy for their former associates in cultic distress and as such we should occasionally try to minister help.

  I truly believe that God has a special place in his heart for widows, children, the abused, and especially those abused by false toxic religion.  Why?  Because these last individuals yearn for God and his grace with a child like innocence and this attitude was/is taken advantage of by GG types who take that innocence away via a kind of "spiritual" rape!

  The consequences of such an experience can be very destructive psychologically and spiritually and so for those of us fit enough to reach out to these our only decent response is one of caring listening and an attempt to bring comfort.  I have made a promise to God that I will not forget their plight and feel that this is what I'm called to do.  Not just to comfort them, but to also try and help them really learn that God is not like GG nor is our relationship with him like the Assembly taught.

   As to blogs and BB's:  As an example, Margaret has a blog on the Assembly Reflections site which she alone publishes but she allows for others to comment on what she has initiated.  On this BB any member can start a thread and write within the limitations that have been established by Brian (length of post, bad language, etc.).  If you have visited blogs that allow for multi-member publishing then it has kind of blurred the distinctions between the blog and BB concept.

  I apologize again for getting so rattled, but I hope the above helps you to understand why I responded as I did.

                                                                       God Bless,  Mark C.   

[Joe Sperling]

Mark---

Well put. As much as I'd like to--  -- I don't think I'll do a parody of the Smith family just yet. In
all seriousness, I believe the "Wounded Pilgrims" thread has done a lot of good. And I'm sure
no one denies that!! We don't know how many have been helped by that thread. Often,
when I enter the board, I drop down to the bottom of the screen to see who is on line. Most
of the time there are at least 5 "guests" reading, and many times the majority of them are in "Wounded Pilgrims".

Sometimes, the smallest thing can help one on the path to being free, and we never want to dis-
count the value of one person to Jesus Christ. The Lord journeyed all the way across a lake to the Gadarenes to visit a man possessed by a demon, just to free him. The Lord, through this BB and through the Wounded Pilgrims thread, has come to free/and has freed souls from bondage. Numbers aren't important---every soul is valuable to Him. That is actually one of the damaging aspects of the Assembly--there was so much talk about "corporate" identity, that many lost the belief in the extreme love the Lord has for each individual. I think that the Lord is out to bring back the wounded lambs, and one way he is doing that is definitely by using the Wounded Pilgrims thread.

Sometimes it's hard to distinguish the real intent of a post, as the voice of the person cannot be heard, with his/her inflections or sarcasm. I'm glad Jem posted to clear this up, and you have had a chance to respond.

Just to make sure we are staying on the original topic of this thread, let me say Mark that you are doing one whale of a job on the WP thread--keep up the good work!

[Mark C.]

Hello Joe!

  Thanks so much for your kind comments.

    Re.---"Sometimes it is hard to distinguish the real intent of a post": Boy ain't that the truth---- at least in my case it is  !  I could easily find offense in something like your "whale of a job" comment where I could surmise that, "Joe is actually making a reference to my being overweight!" 

   I think that parody and sarcasm can often be a very effective means of teaching and it can also provide for a deep sense of emotional relief.  However, if sarcasm uses as it's comic topic those we should be crying with vs. laughing at, it not only will not be funny it can cause harm.

  I think your parody of GG in "Little Georgie And the Giant Hand" was so effective in providing a sense of relief for former members because it pulled the false image of "The Great Apostle GG" down, not unlike the statue of Saddam was yanked down in Iraq!  Likewise, "The Great and Mighty Oz" had the curtain pulled back by the likes of a little dog like Toto.

  I truly hope that what is written on WP's might help some.  I realize it is not everyone's cup of tea and most likely it doesn't address every former member's current situation.  It had been my original hope that many would use the thread to tell their own story, but many former members may fear to stick their necks out that far.

  I know of one former member who can't read the BB at all, or discuss anything of the old days in the group, as they are flooded with very painful memories  .  Going to church reminds them of the old social pecking order, and they view all Christian folks with a great deal of suspicion.  While this individual still maintains a firm belief in their faith in Christ they are very much pulled back into their shells in an effort to avoid getting hurt again.  I do believe that this individual above is more prevalent than one may think, and that some of these may read on occasion here.

  There are, of course, those former members that Jem refers to, that only come here to see whether GG has kicked the bucket yet.  Rather than pointing to a deficiency in the BB I think this reality demonstrates a need in this former member.  This person is controlled by a sense of angry revenge vs. the fearful reactions of the wounded soul in the above paragraph.

   Both individuals prove my point that emotional recovery must be addressed in former members and that this process is a necessary part of a strong faith in Christ.  I'm not talking about trying to be amateur psychologists here, rather participating in the simple acts of love that are described in the NT--- ie: "washing one anothers feet, confessing to one another, weeping with those that weep, lifting up the fallen, rejoicing with those that rejoice, giving a cup of water---- etc."

  In other words, there is a place for ministry where we can help former members deal with similar issues that we have struggled with.  Not only that, this activity of trying to help can actually be a means of healing in my own life, as it draws me out of my own closed in world and engages me in the wider world around me.

                                                                       God bless,  Mark C.     

[Joe Sperling]

Re.---"Sometimes it is hard to distinguish the real intent of a post": Boy ain't that the truth---- at least in my case it is  !  I could easily find offense in something like your "whale of a job" comment where I could surmise that, "Joe is actually making a reference to my being overweight!" 

I was actually referring to the Thread title of "Blue Whale" when I made my pun about a "whale of a job". I realize that being overweight is a very touchy subject, and would not want to offend in that area. I myself am overweight and know that it can hurt if someone makes reference to obesity directly or indirectly. Fat chance I would ever do that.