I'm waiting for answers

[jackhutchinson]

Hi,

My first post just might cause an aftershock here in SLO.  I still believe there is need for discretion with regard to sordid details (especially regarding people who have repented), but I no longer consider this site to be "gossip".  I also believe that jabs and insults will evoke a defense reaction in the minds of those who are still in the assemblies.  I don't want to discredit my message with the manor in which it is presented.  I was shocked to read what is left on this site by Judy, Rachel and Kirk.  I fail to see the hate, deception and bitterness in their writings.

I've got some questions that I know some of you can answer.  Please do not call me (if you know my number).  I want the answers to be on the web for all to see (and so that the answers can be printed out and shown to certain people if need be).  If you call, I will not discuss these things with you, unless you are either Brent Tr0ckman or Brian Stupar.  At this point if anyone in leadership wants to answer these questions or discuss them with me, they need to respond with a post (no calls, no exceptions).  If I find out I'm off base I'll be the first to ask your forgiveness.    Here goes:

Euleah Long:  A few months ago the leading brothers read a letter from you to the assembly in the prayer meeting here in SLO.  It stated that you admitted that you left because you were not willing to take responsibility for your actions and instead blamed the leadership.  It said that you had tried to have your statements removed from the web, but those responsible would not take them down.  We were told you also wrote a letter to each leading brother (maybe not Danny or Ray, I'm not sure) asking for forgiveness for the way you "made life a living hell" for them with your words.  Is this true?  Did you write such letters of apology to the leaders and to the assembly?

Rob Kazarinoff:  Jeff Lehmkuhl told me that at your last meeting with the leading brothers you told them that you were satisfied with their explanation as to how they dealt with David's sin.  He also told me that you said that even though you were satisfied you would still leave because you had "already gone too far down that path."  Is this true?

Jeff Lehmkuhl:  Within the past year a letter was read to the assembly (I think at a prayer meeting) from someone who visited a meeting at the Sands Motel.  The letter said something to the effect that the author was so encouraged to see such a great fellowship of believers while on his travels.  I can't remember his name.  Did you keep that letter?  If so, can I write this man?

Jeff Lehmkuhl:  When Kirk wrote his letter on 10/31/02, and I asked you about the restraining order, you said that Kirk did not tell the whole story.  You said that he left out details of "Rachel's shameful behavior that was related to the restraining order."  You did not tell me what her "shameful behavior" was.  I downloaded and read the restraining order and can't find the "shameful behavior".  Are you referring to her claim that she was calling her boyfriend?  That may not have been the wisest thing she did (considering what she herself said about him in her story), but I would hardly call that shameful.  Why did you imply that she was doing something bad when her father abused her (which was the reason for the restraining order, for those who have not read Kirk's writings).

All the leaders in SLO:  You have stated repeatedly that what happened in SLO (on your watch) was due to your ignorance of the facts.  You have said that you acted in good-will.  The writings of Judy, Rachel and Kirk on this site all very clearly say that you knew exactly what was going on and leave no room for "good-will" on your part.  Are they lying?  If so, please say so openly on this site.  These are some of the offended people we are supposed to be reconciled with.  I'm not going to accuse the offended of lying.  That would be to deny them good-will.

At the behest George, I tried to help David along in his "repentance" for the last 8 months.  I talked and prayed with him almost once a week.  I gradually became aware that to believe him would mean to believe that everyone else is lying or deceived. He presented himself as the ONLY source of credible information.  When I asked why so many other people's versions of things were different than his, he just said, "I don't know."  His two most common answers to inquiries about his behavior and words were, "I never said that" and "I don't remember."  Twice I've  called him on it.  He told me he does not want to pray with me anymore.  He didn't like it when I told the leading brothers about the weird things he said.  He said (or itimated, as was his practice) that I was gossiping by telling the leaders.  I told him I had only told the leading brothers, and that it was their job to know, considering he was under such suspicion (I had forgotten that I had asked a sister about how he told different stories about the same black eye Judy had).  At this point, all bets are off with regard to the secrecy that David insisted he had a right to.  Openness is ok.  I really believe it is the only way now to get things out into the light.  When I asked about why he or she called 9-1-1, he said it was none of my business.  He said he was protecting Judy from our condemnation should she ever come back.

Is it just me, or is this a pattern?  I have been lying awake all night mulling these things over, so maybe I got something wrong.  If so, please explain ON THE WEB where my questions are askew.  If it turns out that you have actively, knowingly covered up David's sin and yours, I do not believe there will be an assemby in SLO any longer.  I'm waiting for answers.

Jack Hutchinson

P.S.  Perhaps all this has happened not to bring about a "new direction" for the assemblies, but so that those who sincerely want to walk with the Lord will be delivered from bondage and darkness to walk in liberty and light in other churches that we used to mock.

P.P.S.S.  Please don't urge me to leave or to stay.  I'm just seeking the Lord for what He wants.

[jackhutchinson]

I wish to make a correction.  Even in Rob's letter he made an exception for Ray Dienzo in light of culpability.  I wish to do the same in the name of fairness and good-will.  Most of the comments in the writings of Judy, Rachel and Kirk mention Jeff and Roberto (and include some references to Danny).  So, when I say "All the leadership in SLO", I'm willing to cut Ray some slack.

Jack Hutchinson

[Arthur]

Hey Jack!

Wow!  Excellent questions. I wonder the same things and I would also like a response.  If there be true repentence, then let there be an absolute clearing of all matters.
Thanks for posting this.

Arthur

[jackhutchinson]

I want to add that the request not to call me is only til further notice.  This is not a blanket rejection of my friends (as I used to assume about people who have left).  I just want to direct the conversation into the light of public scrutiny.  I know that other pastors are reading this and will bring this up when they meet with the leadership again.  The leaders told us that they would be accountable to the Christian community for what goes on, so this is a part of that accountability.  Things are happening fast, so it shouldn't be long before it becomes obvious to a lot more people what is really going on.  If God wants to vindicate an assembly, He can do it.  The gates of hell will not prevail against an assembly of believers if God wants to protect it from attack from the outside.  But, if you read Revelation 2 and 3 you will see that the Lord will remove the candlestick from an assembly that has rotted from the inside.  I am not calling for the "destruction" of the assembly in SLO or anywhere else.  Also, I do not believe that it is the business of people who have left to call for leaders to step down (that's the kind of meddling that people have been saying Fullerton has been doing to the assemblies).  God can and will vindicate His Name.  I have no right to tell anyone that they must shut down an assembly.  That is God's job if need be.  In time, I believe the assembly in SLO may self-destruct, and others as well.

God can do anything.  A lot of people have been saying that since last weekend, and I am still rejoicing in that reality.  Sometimes the most incredible things God does are the ones you thought would never, ever happen (and sometimes the things that you thought MUST not happen).

I know some are reading this thinking, "What?  Jack Hutchinson posted that?"  I know, I've always been Mr. Status Quo, Mr. Don't Rock the Boat.  I am terrified of conflict and confrontation.  That is a strength and a weakness.  A strength because I try hard not to offend people (though sometimes I must).  However, it is a weakness because I fear rejection if I challenge someone.

Things are dawning on me so fast I have no idea what this day will bring.  I can't think about anything else right now, and that's good.  This revelation is so profound, I know this is the beginning of a new life for me.


Jack

[AaBbCc]

Jack,

I was so sad to hear about Mary Jean.  I think about Mary Jean a lot, I really miss her.  She was in an accounting class with me along with Mike Duwelling.  Mike use to write the Bible Study times on the chalk board.  I would notice Mike and Mary Jean praying together before class.  I didn't find out until years later that they were praying for one of their classmates to get saved - I was the one.

My fondest memory of your sister was when I took a vacation to Yosemite.  She came with and we had the best time.  She wanted to buy hiking boots before we went to the park so we stopped at a store.  She talked to the salesman for an hour about the Lord but never ended up buying any boots.   I just wanted to get to the park but she was in no hurry.

We got to the park really late at night and it was pitch black.  She had to go real bad so I stopped on the side of the road.  I have never seen so many stars in the sky as I did night.  We laughed so hard!  Just think what we would have missed had I not stopped the car.

We hiked up to the top of Yosemite Falls and sang hymns and died laughing telling stories.  I really miss her.

I was told by someone in fellowship at another gathering that you left fellowship right after that.  

I know what you mean about not being able to sleep.  I couldn't sleep for a couple of nights.  My mind would not let me stop thinking.  Everything finally started to making sense.

Although it has been 12 years since I left, reading these posts bring back memories that seem like only yesterday.

Lori

[jackhutchinson]

It all depends on what your definition of "left" is.  I was not walking with the Lord at that time, and sad to say, even MJ's death didn't change that.  I kept up appearances for my family's sake for the funeral, etc.  From about 1995 to about 2000 I wallowed in self-pity alot.  I saw myself as a spiritual failure, since I did not have the self-control to emulate what I thought constituted holiness.  I would come to maybe 1 or 2 Sunday meetings a month.  I never said, "I'm leaving fellowship."  I just was giving up on God in my unbelief, which was sin.  Since 2000 I've been more quick to repent of blaming God.  Now, I have just enough reality with the Lord to deal with this whole thing.  Last night I went to the prayer meeting in SLO.  Today, I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet.  That may very well have been my last assembly meeting.

I'm a wedding videographer and a bride wants to pay the balance for her video, so I've got to go.  What a pleasant surprise to get $500 when I only expected her to make her monthly payment of $100!

Jack

[Rachel]

Jack,

All I could think when I saw your post was, YES!!!!!  

Your questions are excellent.  I also agree with your stand on wanting to do all the discussion out in the open.  As many know I have made the request that any contact with me be in writing as I do not wish for another he-said, she-said situation.  

Jack, your experience with my father was simular to my husband's.  We were still talking to him for a while after my mother left and caught him in a number of lies.  We began to see a pattern emerging.  When I would challenge him he would become irrate, (as explained in my story).  It was this that gave, especially to my husband, the final assurance that my mother was telling the truth and that my father was lieing and in sin.  It was at that point that we cut off contact with him.  It was becoming to emotionally expensive for us.  I had ended up in pre-term labor after one especially intense episode and it was not worth the cost of our child to stay involved with an unrepentant man.  

Also, your posts have cleared up a lot for me about what you have been thinking.  I have often wondered but didn't ask because I figured you would not consider me a close enough friend to trust me to confide in me.  I had found that the assembly was not the best place for trusting friendships.  However, you have often been on my heart and in my thoughts.  If you ever do want to talk, message me and I will send you my number.  I hope that you are doing well.

Rachel

PS  Tell your mom and Nora I said hi.  I have written Nora a number of times but never heard back.

[AaBbCc]

Jack,
I was only telling you what I heard.  It doesn't sound like you "left" to me.  I don't go to church EVERY Sunday anymore and guess what - I don't feel guilty about it either.  

I always enjoyed the ministry that you brought and I always thought that you were sincere.  

Lori

[jackhutchinson]

Lori,

No offense taken at all.  I just like the "Clinton" response of "it all depends on..."

I didn't preach very often, yet when I did, people made the same response you did.

As far as Sundays are concerned, when MJ went to be with the Lord in 1998 I decided to visit my family more often.  I always came back on Sunday, so I didn't go to church.  I really didn't have a problem with that, and nobody in leadership tried to get me to go on Sundays more often.  I knew I needed to spend time with my family, so I did.  Sure, the occasional feeling of guilt would arise, but I did fine.  I've been ignoring my false-gulit a lot lately.  I'm sure I'm really going to grow in the near future.

Jack

[AaBbCc]

Jack,
I remember when I went to my mothers birthday.  Because it meant missing a Sunday it was looked down upon.  I went anyways and had to deal with the guilt.  

I remember when my brother got married, I was told not to go to his wedding.  I didn't go to his wedding because his wife had been married before.  I did go to the reception though.

It is easy to look back now and say how ridiculous!
Lori

[jackhutchinson]

Rachel,

Thanks for your response.  Now I know why you are so particular as to how to contact you.  At this point, as strange as it seems, the internet is the only way to discuss things freely regarding the assemblies.  It shouldn't have to be like this.

Yeah, I would not have trusted you, since I knew there was controversy surrounding your life.  I avoided conflict like the plague.  Please forgive me for not caring and not wanting to get involved.

We'll talk more later, but I'd just lose it if I called you right now.

Jack

[jackhutchinson]

Brent,

You were there at the reconciliation meeting on Saturday.  Do you think that any of my posts are inappropriate in any way?  Am I out of line or in danger of discouraging anyone or causing division?

Jack

[ptemplin7]

Hi Jack,

I think they are some hard answers and questions. I'll leave Brent to decide ont he contents!

Glad to hear things are going better. Hopefully we can all stop blaming God or one another and get back to walking before Him simplely.

Give me a call when you want to talk. I'll l;ook to see what gets posted here.

Paris Templin
650.508.0877

[editor]

Hello Jack

I think your questions are excellent.  I think the answers contain salvation and repentance.  The sooner they are answered, the better.

I am reluctant to enter the public exposure business again.  I am trusting the Holy Spirit to convict of sin and righteousness.

If the questions are not anwered, then that in itself is an answer, no?

The Lord delivers us little by little.  Denial is a good thing in the short term, but it is called lying when it outlives its purpose.

Brent

[ccmalibu]

Hi Jack!!

Wow, I haven't talked to you in sooooo long! I have thought of you though, and wondered how you were doing. Anyway, I hope you're doing well, and by the looks of things ( what you are posting) you're doing great!  I'm so encouraged with what you are posting. Your perspective is right on!
Also, I want you to know that even though I left the SLO assembly almost 3 years ago, I never abandoned my friendships in my heart. It was extremely awkward to try and contact anyone, and i wasn't too sure about the reception I would get...I'm not a big fan of confrontation either!
Also, I was at the SLO meeting on Sunday when Brent and suzie were welcomed...It is no exaggeration to say I truly witnessed a miracle. I NEVER believed things would turn out this way! The greatest miracle, to me, of all of it, was that God actually changed proud, arrogant, stubborn hearts! I'm encouraged to keep praying for my dad...I'm a firm believer now that ANYTHING is possible!

Your Friend,

Cristina

p.s. email me and catch me up on your life!!