Quotes to Ponder

[Matt]

"America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"  - Homer Simpson

Homer (to brain): "Uh, oh. It's time you told Marge your secret."
Homer : "Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom."
Marge : "Oh, my gosh!"
Brain : "No, the other secret."

And my all time favorite: "No Tv and beer make Homer something something"
Who can finish this quotation for me? I'll send you a free blockbuster rental certificate if you can. (not really)

[al Hartman]

          Whatever you are, be a good one.

                                        Abraham Lincoln

[al Hartman]

     It is paradoxical that many educators and parents still differentiate between a time for learning and a time for play without seeing the vital connection between them.

            --Leo Buscaglia, author (1924-1998)

[al Hartman]

    Compare and Contrast:

      It is better that ten guilty persons escape than one innocent suffer.
                                   --William Blackstone (1723-1780), English jurist

       God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them...  For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin;  that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.
                                     Ephesians 5:19, 21

[Matt]

"There's a difference between keeping an open mind and believing something to be true simply because you want it to be."  - the Vulcan lady from Star Trek Enterprise.

[BeckyW]

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
-Martin Luther King Jr.

[Matt]

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
-Martin Luther King Jr.

Another MLK Jr. goodie:
"Don't look down on someone unless you're willing to help him up."

[al Hartman]

     Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.    

            --Samuel Johnson, lexicographer (1709-1784)

[psalm51]

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."
                                             Philo of Alexandria

[j.lo]

  " " THE LEADER IS GOOD, THE LEADER IS GREAT! WE SURRENDER OUR WILL AS OF THIS DATE! "...................... The Simpson T.V cartoon  The episode when the family was in a cult.

[BeckyW]

"Any man worth his salt will stick up for what he believes right, but it takes a slightly better man to acknowledge instantly and without reservation that he is in error."
-Andrew Jackson

[sfortescue]

Experience is the worst teacher.  It gives the test first and the instruction afterwards.
                                   -- ???

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
                                   -- Groucho Marx

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
                                   -- Albert Einstein

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
                                   -- ???

Take my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man, but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.
                                   -- Kipling

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
                                   -- Mark Twain

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
                                   -- Albert Einstein

Whenever people agree with me, I always feel I must be wrong.
                                   -- Oscar Wilde

The illegal we do immediately.  The unconstitutional takes a bit longer.
                                   -- Henry Kissinger

Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.
                                   -- Mark Twain

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
                                   -- Abraham Lincoln

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
                                   -- Ben Franklin

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
                                   -- Albert Einstein

[al Hartman]

Stephen,

     Thank you for that delightful & thought provoking collection...

     This one just came to me yesterday:

     A large hat size and a high forehead do not compensate for a thick skull and a weak mind.

[sfortescue]

"I quite agree with you," said the Duchess; "and the moral of that is -- 'Be what you would seem to be' -- or, if you'd like it put more simply -- 'Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.'"
                                  -- Lewis Carrol, "Alice in Wonderland"


Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio, replied: "You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat.  You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles.  Do you understand this?  And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there.  The only difference is that there is no cat."


                A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
                                  by Mark Twain

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet.  The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later.  Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bi iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6 - 12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.  Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "x" and "y" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh" and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, yen, aafte sam 20 iers ov oryogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius yrewawt ye Inglix-spiking werld.

[sfortescue]

I once saw a sign on a dairy that said, "Our cows are outstanding in their field."

Another sign I saw in a Jewish deli said, "Our tongue is so fresh it speaks for itself."