brian
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« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2003, 01:36:23 pm » |
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ok, so the main point i have been wanting to post about all week concerns what i am looking for from the assembly leadership to 'make things right'. in other words, at what point will i be satisfied that they no longer need pressure towards change? this issue began coming into sharp clarity for me when brent's meeting with the leaders in slo last weekend had unexpectedly good results. they are starting to change, they want to repent and make things right... so what now? i have been thinking hard about this all week. where is the line which, once passed, will allow me in good conscience to relax in relief at a job well done and free up my time and energy for other pursuits?
one point that complicates the issue tremendously is the fact that there are huge differences between the various leaders in the assemblies. some of them have lived in complete sincerity before god, and are simply good people who were sadly misguided (for reasons i don't have time to develop right now). on the other extreme are completely corrupt leaders who have been intentionally lying and manipulating (and worse) for many years in order to maintain control over others for their own personal gain. of course, the vast majority of the leaders fall somewhere in between these two extremes, and a few perhaps fall outside of them. so what do each of these people need to do to show true change and restoration? there are no easy answers here.
let me focus on a specific situation for the purpose of clarity, and because it is the one situation we all share the most common knowledge about.
fact: the leaders in slo, every single one of them, allowed judy g to endure horrific suffering without doing anything meaningful to end it. worse, they worked actively to hold her in that position of horrific suffering. and again worse, when she finally fled the situation, they worked actively to slander her so that noone would believe her when she told the real reason she fled. the result of this was to isolate her from virtually every soul on the face of the planet that she had thought she could confide in. they knew that would be the effect of their actions when they did this to her, and that was why they did it. the realization of the depth of their crimes against this woman made my blood run cold.
lets imagine for a moment that it is concievable that someone could be a leader in slo and do all of those things, and somehow never realize the truth of the situation. this imaginary leader would be acting in complete sincerity, dutifully carrying out against judy what he believed god's will to be. what would the reaction of such a man be once he learned the truth of the horrible crimes he had committed against this woman?
"oh my god, oh my god, what have i done??? oh god, have mercy on me, a sinner!!" complete brokeness. a horrified, desperate fear that such crimes might be committed again against someone else if he stayed in leadership. a deep distrust of his once firmly held ideas of what god's will is and how to find it. a deep distrust of his own judgement as a person to know how to handle obvious situations.
all of these things would be the reaction of someone who was living in good conscience and sincerity before god in all of his leadership decisions. clearly, the current leaders are of a whole different nature altogether.
now let us consider the case of a leader who had some inkling of the wrongness of what he was doing, but ignored his conscience. every time he ignored his conscience, every day he let things continue in a way he could have guessed was wicked, every hour he resisted the tension within himself that came from his decent side compelling him to act - he grew that much harder. he became that much more morally deaf. this individual may or may not step down from his leadership position. if he did step down, he would most likely eventually allow himself to be flattered and cajoled back into a position of leadership.
and then there is the case of the leader who knew exactly what he was putting judy through and simply did not care. such an individual would be so hard and power-drunk that they would go to any length of deception to maintain or regain their position of power over others, with absolute disregard for the painful consequences of their actions in others lives.
in none of these scenerios is there any room in my mind for any of these leaders to continue functioning in leadership capacity of any sort, even under close watch by other more worthy leaders. they have each been measured, and found sadly wanting.
now, if the leaders stepped down, but the assembly meetings continued, what do we have? we have a group of people who have wanted these leaders to control them, meeting with the leaders who have clearly demonstrated a desire and ability to control others. if even one of those leaders is corrupt enough to allow themselves to be put in a position where they could decide anything about others lives, or perhaps even actively seek that position of control, it won't take long for the old habits to reassert themselves. it would fit everyones comfort zone.
so let me return to my original question: where is the line? what, in my opinion, must occur? the leaders in slo need to step down unconditionally. and they need to be actively prevented from ever rising to any position of leadership again. then we will see how much of the 'fruits' of the assembly in slo was merely due to their ability to control, and how much of it was genuine.
those same leaders need to publicly acknowledge, in their own words and from their own hearts, their part in the terrible crimes committed against judy, without excusing themselves and without placing any compulsion on judy whatsoever. she does not 'have' to communicate with them in any way, nor does she 'have' to forgive them. their problem is not one of individual sins committed, but of a compromised and malformed character, which is not restored by simple confession and repentance of individual acts of sin.
fact: they can never restore what they have taken away. ever! its an impossibility by the very nature of the situation they were dealing with - which is why they should have recognized the seriousness of what they were handling so badly right from the start! when you finally grow up and realize you can't take the effects of your decisions back, you make them much more carefully.
its getting late so let me finish by broadening my focus. what about all the other assemblies and all the other leaders? again, there are no simple easy answers. much of what i have written here applies to many situation in many different assemblies. do i think every single leaders needs to step down? i would not make such a sweeping judgement. the situation is too complex for that. but every single leader and follower does need to spend a lot of time working hard at understanding the dynamic of control and desire to be controlled that have allowed countless souls to be deeply hurt and countless years of countless lives to be wasted. if that deeply hurtful dynamic of control could be rooted out and eliminated, i would be able to move on with my life feeling very happy about that much more suffering that is no longer in the world. since that is a hopeless pipe dream, because people choose this unhealthy lifestyle every day, let me say that i believe i will be content in good conscience when i can at least believe that everyone in the assembly situation has gotten a good clear look at the unhealthy dynamic that drives this cycle of control, and leave them to whatever they decide for themselves at that point.
more later as the limits of time and space allow...
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