Another Abused Wife Comes Out of the Closet

[Susan McCarthy]

Mr. Malone's quote:  "What if more sisters over the years had with quiet, Godly persistence, engaged their husbands over the clearly unsavory and unkind things going on and held them to account? I wonder".

Mr. Malone, that is where we started, and we were silenced.

[editor]

Here is something ironic, in light of the thread.

My writings definitely got the snowball rolling, but it didn't get really big until some women helped.

Rachel and Judy were Hiroshima

the women who George abused were Nagasaki

I am sad to say that precious few men did much.  Oh yes, there were some to be sure, but it was the women, who did what they men wouldn't-couldn't.

Thanks Ladies.

Brent

[Scott McCumber]

[Brad Mathias, wearing black]
[Malone in Husker Red]
[Obvious errors in Green]

. I have been talking with Brent Tr0ckman for over a year now, trying to get my family back together. This is the same family that YOUR FAMILY, including your your dad, helped keep split up when he met my folks. This is the same family that Dan Smith helped out so much, the same Dan Smith your dad helped George run off in Tuscola before George took over the gathering there.[/color]

Now you're stating, "I don't have a grudge against Gerald: I scarcely know him. You are making up an issue that's not there. You jumped in the middle of this, and are WAY off base."

Please reconcile these two statements.

Scott

[Susan McCarthy]

Verne, thank you for clarifying your quote.  The whole issue is cause for introspection before God on my part.  Again, I look to God's amazing grace and how he turns evil for good in His perfect time.

[moonflower]

Completely OT (off topic):

Mr. Malone saith:

The reason I say this is that there is this pernicious twisting of Scriptures, expecially by misguided Calivinists (John Calvin believed in and practiced infant baptism),

*snicker*

First, we're "misguided" Calvinists.  Second, .... ooooh    Maybe one day we'll chat about baptism!  

Okay, back to topic ---

Yes, sister, Mr. Malone is correct when he mentions "twisting of scriptures by misguided Calvinists", and I am taking it out of the context in which he originally intended it to be, but you have no idea of the confusion that some of Calvin's teachings can do to the spiritual life of a believer.  This includes infant baptism. I'm assuming that because you are a member of the Presbyterian Church, that you believe this teaching is correct. There are hurting, vulnerable people here and no one needs to be lead down the blind alley of discussing something that does not have a scriptural basis.  So, yes, save it for "one day".

[editor]

Dear MichelleDJ

"Christians are the only army I know of who shoots bullets at each other."

first of all, that isn't true.  Chiropractors, attorneys, political parties, teachers, camp counselors and many other people "circle the wagons and shoot inward."

Be careful maligning the Body of Christ as a whole.  Again, this is not meant to be a harsh reprimand, just a gentle reminder.  Most Christians I know are amazing people.  What we are all about here on the website is not attacking Christianity, but setting Christians free from bondage and false teaching.

It is especially hard, because many of the people are deceived.

Brent

[wmathews]

Folks,
   With all due respects, we have digressed from the serious issue of spouse abuse in a Christian family to the merits/demerits of Calvinism. Let's get back on track. Anyone have a chance to read this month's Christianity Today article, "Headship with a Heart"?

[Nate Dogg]

Amen dad!
 
   The ability to strain at a gnat and swallow a camel is unfortunately all too easy for those of us raised in the assembly
     
                      Nate

[Nate Dogg]

oh and I forgot one thing,
 
   Dear John Malone,
 
        If you're interested, I can give you the names of some excellent militia groups in North Montana. You seem to be on the same page with them psychologically.
        Oh, and to quote someone else (out of context): The USA: love it or leave it.  (wait a minute, thats the assembly's motto!)

                                                            Nate

[Nate Dogg]

I stand corrected rudy,
  but the only way I know how to respond to that kind of vitrole (correct spelling?) is through humor-- it was a joke and I apologize if it ws conveyed as anything more than that.
                 Nate

[MichelleDJ]

For a wonderful, godly book about abuse (especially for abuse victims of any kind) please peruse The Wounded Heart by Dan Allender.  This book really got to the wounds I'd been hiding from in my own sexually abused past.  It was the most painful book I've ever read - because I generally avoid pain like the plague, and it helped me face it, in a godly manner.

[Nate Dogg]

Rudy,
  it was not my intention to joke about such a serious matter, believe me it is the last thing i want to joke about. It takes some serious courage to tell a story like that and I have only compassion and regret that stories like this are far too common...the theology behind it is why I left the assembly.
  That said, the posts from John Malone merit some sort of response, and rather than ranting and throwing doctrine back in his face, I chose to use a little humor, because if there is one thing me and other assembly folks are guilty of, it is excessive seriousness. On the other hand too, John's posts saddened me deeply, and so, to borrow a phrase, I laughed to keep from crying. If it came across as a little caustic for the particular topic, I again apologize and invite the web administrator to remove my comments.

                    waiting for justice and mercy to embrace,
                                                   Nate

[Guest]

Thank you, Susan, for sharing your story and for all your postings on this subject.  You have shown a spirit of graciousness and courage that increases my faith in God's ability to make things right.

Many blessings to you and your family.

[Guest who is disturbed]

I am really saddened by Susan's account, but not surprised.  The sisters in fellowship often look exhausted, sickly, withdrawn, submissive to the point of being non-persons.  This is really WRONG, and I wonder if the brothers reading this are recognizing their OWN WIVES AND SISTERS in the fellowship.

Can't give my real name and address at this point, but Judy and Susan's experiences are probably just the ugly tip of the iceberg.  

[Rachel]

Thank you guest.  I know from private accounts told to me that you are right.  I really hope these women will get the courage to come forward with their stories.  Being a woman who has suffered abuse and come forward, and the daughter of a woman who suffered abuse and came forward, I can say that telling your story will not be easy but freedom and safety are on the other side.  

No man has the right to push, shove, slap, hit, grab, bruise, pull, pick up and move, punch inademant objects in order to intimidate, scream at, call obcenities, or physically force a woman to do anything.  They have no right to dismiss you, humiliate you, threaten you with any kind of abandonment, including leaving you in the middle of no where when they are your ride home or locking you out of the house or place you are staying (ie hotel), act cruelly towards, demand sex from or intimidate you into anything.  That is abuse.  Just because you may think, I was never put in the hospital, or bruised that bad, doesn't make it a lesser problem or ok.  Your husband promised in his wedding vows to Cherish you.  None of the above would or could happen if the wife is being cherished.  Nothing the wife could do, should justify any of the above behavior, including being mouthy or nagging, or "not submitting".

I hope there are more women out there who will be as brave as my mother and Susan have been.  There is help for you and a life with love and no fear on the other side.