Why I am here

[Kay]

WOW 4Him,
I've heard the chains falling off, your heart is now free to rise and follow HIM. Isn't it amazing how wonderful it is to be free?

[Kimberley Tobin]

Welcome all you new members!  I should have posted long ago "Why I am Here" and realized as new people were stating their reasons, I better get on the ball!

I am here for my sanity first and foremost.  I am here to see that those who are seeking who are still in the "lodge", can hear the truth about where they are choosing to fellowship.  I am here to fellowship with others who have come out of the same wicked place in order to help and be helped in the process.  I am here to make friends with others who were never duped by the "lodge" system (Hi Karen , who can offer some perspective about what "the other side" looks like in reality.  

That for now.

[editor]

Bob!

Isn't it great? All the passages about rivers of Living water, and the joy of the Lord, they really are true!  Suzie and I are so happy for you guys.  You will be so amazed that not only will you hear God's voice in a healthy church, but you will hear it way more loudly and clearly than ever at the Lodge.  Enjoy you freedom!

There is joy in serving Jesus!  (but grief in serving the cause of men)

Brent

[Curious]

Why I am here...well, it's a lot of reasons...let me begin by saying that I am from a small assembly
in the midwest.  Years ago because of personal discouragement my husband and I left another larger assembly
in the midwest and moved several times for his job...all the time seeking the Lord and being "in fellowship" with
other believers...I have never held to the notion that "This Ministry" is it...infact the very first time I heard GG I was taken aback
by his egotism and self promoting "preaching"...I've never understood much of what he's said over the ensuing
20 years...anyway, I digress...after several moves and a bad experience with a little flock out east (not assoc with GG)
An opportunity availed itself to move back to the midwest to be closer to family and friends...
as it happened there was also a small gathering in the town we were moving to.  Because we
had left "this ministry" with no hard feelings we decided to check out this local gathering... we made some nice
friends and people welcomed us with open arms...we've been here almost 14 years...OK, that
being said...Are we still "in" the assembly?  Technically...because we have a wait and see attitude,
My hubby doesn't think anything good is going to come out of the big pow-wow they are having on the left coast today
It's hard to put into one post all the emotions and thoughts that have been swirling around in my
head since I first became aware of all this...Many of you on this BB I only know by name, there are a few of you I know
Let me clarify what I said earlier by our "wait and see" attitude...it is only in regard to how the leadership in our
local gathering is going to respond...I have already made the decision to have nothing to do with any kind of ministry associated with
GG or his family dynasty (actually I made that decision years ago...I quit reading the T&T years ago...try to avoid or plan vacations around
the video seminars...and mainly go to the Midwest Seminar to reconnect with friends that I still hold dear...if that sounds strange I'm sorry...but I do
have lots of good memories and friends)...maybe it's because I've never been taken in by GG's charisma
that I could enjoy the good and blow off the bad.  So, why am I here?  I want to keep up on the latest...
It is so sad that the awful things that were done were done by believers to fellow believers...not just the atrocity
of abuse that Judy and Rachel endured...but the mindgames and abuse suffered through out the assemblies.
To Judy and Rachel if you read this...Thank you for your courage to come out with all this...I have been praying
for you...and I know that God will honor you for that and will restore to you those years that the locust have eaten.
To other readers...sorry this is so long...will try to keep it shorter in the future.  I am enjoying reading about
the renewed joy and encouragement that others have found...I know that God has renewed my joy and hope
He is Good!!!  "Beloved, these words for now"  Catch ya L8r...

[Mark C.]

Welcome Curious,
   Please feel free to post to your heart's content. I enjoyed reading what you had to say and pray that the Lord will help you as you make decisions re. your involvement.
   I was in the assembly in a small group not far from Fullerton.  I've been out for over 11 years and before the birth of this site have been unaware of all the Assembly news.
   Our individual Assembly was controlled by Fullerton (The Work) and as such it seems strange to hear of a group associated with the Assembly and yet operating without the same kind of control that I remember.
   I too remember many good friends from the Assembly, but it was clear to me that I had to leave.  I discovered that the Assembly is not just isolated cases of individual abuse, but systemized error.  What I mean is that there are established principles upon which the Assembly operates that support destructive practice.  
   The central such destructive principle is the practice of a group centered attitude, instead of a Christ centered attitude.  The Assembly elitist attitude of "higher life and light" creates the hypocrisy you mentioned in your post.  The defense of their self proclaimed higher status causes them to become very dishonest re. their own lives.  It also causes them to attack those who point out their inconsistencies.  So much so they will defend wife beaters and child molestors in their midst while declaring those leaving the Assembly to fellowship elsewhere as, "wicked, of the devil, slanderers, etc.
   This is why I believe that the very foundations of the Assembly are in error and that they can not be fixed.  The premises, from the beginning, are off center.  I believe that leaving is the best way to change things; both for those still trying to defend the system, and for your own spiritual health as well.        God Bless,  Mark C.  

[Kay]

Dear Curious.
I can relate to everything you've posted.
 One issue for me regarding staying and see if it changes is that for the most part the lodge leadership has been under GG for a very long time. They've never made a decision alone regarding the lodges. I think the Lord is able to raise up something new but in new wine skins. Is the current lodge leadership willing to step down? Were any involved in the cover up of abuse or were they aware of what was going on but too afraid of GG to say anything? Were they too afraid to confront him and lose their postion in leadsership or as a 'worker.' Also if the leadsership was even slightly aware of DG problems, were they still sending $$$ to Fullerton that was supporting the abuse and coverup? There are serious issues. I know the Lord will lead and direct you and your husband. I know many ppl here have left the lodge system a while ago. It's been 2 weeks after 27 plus years for me. I'm still amazed at how wonderful it is to be free from its grip. We found a great place for fellowship. It's a BIG step to leave the lodge, but worth it!
Teresa

[maria]

I'm not exactly sure how this all works-I guess this message will show up somewhere. I'm maria simpson, and I was in the Fullerton assembly many years ago.  I think this site is interesting. I don't actually address my assembly experience much anymore, openly anyway.  I think very often when something comes up that reminds me of old teachings, I make an effort to throw out the old ideas and look for the truth.  I sure am thankful to know the goodness of the grace and mercy of the Lord! I do think that it is necessary to address the issues that are exposed on this site, though I don't have the stomach to dwell on it all for very long.  There are so many names that I do not recognize, and a few that I do.  Nevertheless, hello everyone.

[Kevin Healy]

Hello Maria,
It was good to hear from you.  I have thought about you and Jim and the kids and wondered if you were ever going to go around the world on a boat like Jim's family.

It has been awhile since I left the assembly and things are going very well.  Maryruth is now 13 and Danielle is 10 Can you believe it.
Give my best to Jim and let me know how you are doing.
Kevin

[Mark C.]

Hi Maria,
  I don't know if you remember me, but I'm Mark Campbell from the Assembly in the Valley.  I left in 1991 and I remember both Jim and you very well.
  I understand how reading stuff re. the Assembly can trigger some very hurtful old memories.  I have gone through the same experience as you expressed, but have found it helpful to talk about it.  God does heal the brokenhearted and cares deeply about us.  I hope that some of the grace and mercy you mentioned can be found through the post's of ex-members on this site.
  Another great thing about this site is finding old friends and establishing contact with them again; it is a great joy!
                                      God Bless,  Mark C.
 

[maria]

Hi Kevin, and hi Mark.  
I do remember you Mark, and I think the Wheel's have mentioned your name here and there from time to time.
And Kevin, it's nice to hear from you-and Jim will not be taking me around the world in a boat any time soon.  It's amazing to think of how old your kids are now.  I remember Jim and I seeing you with the family on a Friday night at Mimi's on Euclid.  I don't think we had ever seen you all together before.  It has been nearly 13 years since we started to going to a normal Christian church.  Abe is 17 and has already enlisted in the Marines in the delayed entry program.  He will be going in on August 11th. He is quite an accomplished backpaker like Jim and loves going on mission trips to Mexico (San Jose del Cabo) with our church. David is 16 and has long hair (what a shame! )  and Paul is 14.  Paul does Civil War re-enactments (he's in the 1st Main Cavalry) and Jim is going to join him after Abe goes into the Marines. The boys don't really remember the assembly experience-Abe was 5, David 4 and Paul 3 when we left.  It's been good to have raised them in a Calvary Chapel.
I appreciate hearing from you both. God is GOOD!

[Curious]

All right all you computer experts...where is the posting with the list of all the families/people who have left?  I just got a call asking if we had left...I said "Not yet, but we are definitely thinking about it"...I had to read my post on this subject to see if I had indeed said that...well, anyway,
to those of you who are saying "Run for your lives"...my husband, the patient and kind man that he is (hey, he's been married to ME for 20+ years!!! ) has set a date to make a decision by...and believe me ONLY God could ever RUSH him into making a decision...so I am learning to be patient...I also "heard" that there is no longer an "assembly" in Champaign...and was told that isn't true either...in any case...to those of you that are still IN  the assembly and monitoring these posts...please stop spreading rumors and half truths...just cause you saw my post and think you figured out who I am...(not that I'm trying to keep it a secret)...doesn't give you the right to tell "MY" LB's that I have left...that is something we reserve the right to do in our time,on our terms...if you have a problem with that...email me...my address isn't hidden.

[Peacefulg]

Hi Curious, way to go in calling those out who would outright be chicken and deal with their brethern face to face.

Now for you that are still in and monitoring these boards to go back and RAT (yes I said rat, because you are acting similar them, in trying to be sneaky and take from someone and them bring it back to your place regardless of who it hurts as long as it "helps" the pack).  Anyway why do not come into the light and address in this case your brother or sister in email before you go back to the head cheese (pun intended).  If you are so offended by their post, then the you need to heed the word and go to the offend person first and let them know.

Last for all you that have every done this or talked about someone who has left badly (and you know who you are) you need not only to repent but try as hard as possible to contact that person and ask for their forgiveness.  Take Kirk Cesaretti's example of how he has done just that.

Lord Bless,
George Allen

"Blessed are the Peace Makers for they shall obtain peace!"
www.e-sword.net

[Lori]

My name is Lori Wray fka Lori Rushmeyer.  I attended almost all the meetings in SLO from December 1995 through October of 1990.  After reading this website I need to come forth with my story of why I left.  I am sure a letter was read to the assembly after I left not to associate with me because I never heard from my friends again.  If anyone remembers what was read I would love to know what sin they said I committed.  Here is why I left.  I was engaged to Michael McSwain, the wedding invitations were out and all the sudden Michael changed drastically.  He told me that I was his wife, I told him, not yet.  He told me I was to quit my job at an accounting firm.  He told me that I was to re-upholster the furniture in his house.  He told me that I was to paint the outside of his house, which was a place where he was renting - he did not own it.  He told me I was to get rid of my checkbook for fear I would bounce a check - mind you I graduated from Cal Poly with a minor in Accounting, chances of me bouncing a check - slim to none.  He told me that I was to pay all the bills with cash via a bicycle because he was going to rebuild the engine in my car - which was a 1971 Buick Skylark which ran great and didn't need a new engine.  He told me that my allowance to buy groceries would be $10 per week.  He told me that he wanted to have 7 boys, which is way beyond my control.  I called the wedding off.  I met with the leading brothers - Jeff Lehmkul, David Geftakys and Kirk C. to tell them why I would no longer be attending the meetings.  I told them that I was scared to death of Michael McSwain and didn't want to face him again.  They took the side of Michael.  Right before I called off my engagement, Roberto and Jenny, newlyweds  convinced me to move in because the leadership did not want me to live alone and my roomate had moved out in preparation of me moving out.   I reluctantly agreed.  The month that I spent with Roberto & Jenny opened my eyes.  I could not believe how Roberto treated Jenny.  She had to have dinner on the table at exactly 5:30pm.  All the dishes and utensils had to match.  She had to serve the dinner to Roberto on a platter.  It didn't matter how sick pregnant Jenny felt, she had to do it.  Roberto took Jenny in the bedroom many times to reprimand her.  I was glad for the eye opening experience.  I looked at the other married couples in the gathering - Tom & Sally, David & Judy, Jeff & Nancy, and Greg and Marcy.  I saw no outward  expressions of love - only controlling behavior, glares, mean looks.  I can only imagine the sick counsel  the married men in SLO were taught "HOW TO CONTROL YOUR WIFE".  I wouldn't change what I had to go through because it has made me a stronger person but on the other hand I don't want other people to have to go through what I did.  I told the Lord that I was okay if I never got married.  I would rather live alone for the rest of my life than be in a controlling relationship in marriage.  I am thankful how God opened my eyes to the leadership and how I felt fortunate to have only spent 5 years in fellowship compared to the length of time some of you have spent in fellowship.  I know some of you married women, like Judy feel trapped.  I know I would have felt trapped since I don't believe in divorce.  I now believe that there are very valid reasons for getting a divorce and physcial/mental abuse is definately at the top of the list.  It is wrong for your husband to control you with abuse.  Jesus does not do that to us.  I noticed that there are not very many women posting to this sight.  I would like to hear your story of abuse by your husbands.  I know that Judy was not the only wife that was abused.  I would like to know the real reason why several of the brothers left fellowship rather suddenly.
Shining the light of the TRUTH - Lori Wray fka Lori Rushmeyer

[4Him]

All right all you computer experts...
please stop spreading rumors and half truths...
we reserve the right to do in our time,on our terms...if you have a problem with that...email me...my address isn't hidden.

I definitely know who this person is.  Take it from me do not mess with her.  I've tried before... (I can just hear her saying, "O brother as she reads this post.)

[Kay]

Hello Curious,
It's good to wait.
Unfortunately, ppl say all kinds of things about others. Of course in the Lodge there's no gossiping! Well actually there's a lot that going on. Especially for damage control. I've heard all kinds of stuff about why we left the lodge. I'm the one blamed for our leaving. I call it the Eve Syndrome. It's easier to blame the wife than to face the husband's reason's for leaving. I'm not trying to figure out who you are. I'm glad you're on the BB and that you're praying and considering what the Lord wants. That's a very good place to be.
And as for the gossip, I've decided to ignore it. The Lord is first in  my life. I've given up my reputation to Him.
Teresa