Why I am here

[amycahill]

Pretty sad, since the general knowledge was that you were simply "very discouraged."

I really have to talk about this.

I had these words applied to me A LOT.  

And they fit.  Not only was I discouraged with the assembly, I was, at the very least, emotionally unstable.  

These words, applied to me, were meant to be synonymous with a lack of faith on my part, and leadership that used to encourage me started rebuking me.  That was very hard.

They also used my best friend to try to manipulate me.  What a horrible thing to do.  It didn't succeed very well, though.

[shinchy]

I'm putting myself out there with this post.

I've stuggled for a long time with what I believed in after leaving the Assembly. I tried fitting in with a mainstream church but didn't. My beliefs seemed to fall apart as I tried to "rediscover" who I am.

Unlearning fundamentalism was scary but I did not want anyone to control me or tell me what to believe. At this point in my life I'm not sure what to believe and I haven't commited myself to a belief system. I guess that makes me feel like an anomaly on this board as being someone from the assembly made me feel like an anomaly on Yahoo's ex-fundy board.

The reason why I've come aboard on this board because it is part of the healing process, whatever that is. Regardless of whatever difference in beliefs between me and other former members, we share a bit of a common history, and that is what makes me understand anger and the jokes that come with dealing with the pain of leaving and even surrendering control to another before (and I've had my share of anger and pain).

I've searched for this type of forum for years. Hearing about what happened in the Assembly recently gave me some closure as well as finding there there ex-members speaking out on various sites.

I still think about issues of faith as well. If it didn't matter to me and none of the relationships I had with friends in the context of faith mattered, I would have said chuck it a long time ago. I haven't completely given up on the idea of faith and spirituality but this is where I am right now.

I don't know if there is anyone in the same position as me out there. I've enjoyed visiting this site and "reconnecting" with some people and perhaps making new connections.

- Shin Evans

[Scott McCumber]

I'm putting myself out there with this post.

I've stuggled for a long time with what I believed in after leaving the Assembly. I tried fitting in with a mainstream church but didn't. My beliefs seemed to fall apart as I tried to "rediscover" who I am.

Unlearning fundamentalism was scary but I did not want anyone to control me or tell me what to believe. At this point in my life I'm not sure what to believe and I haven't commited myself to a belief system. I guess that makes me feel like an anomaly on this board as being someone from the assembly made me feel like an anomaly on Yahoo's ex-fundy board.

The reason why I've come aboard on this board because it is part of the healing process, whatever that is. Regardless of whatever difference in beliefs between me and other former members, we share a bit of a common history, and that is what makes me understand anger and the jokes that come with dealing with the pain of leaving and even surrendering control to another before (and I've had my share of anger and pain).

I've searched for this type of forum for years. Hearing about what happened in the Assembly recently gave me some closure as well as finding there there ex-members speaking out on various sites.

I still think about issues of faith as well. If it didn't matter to me and none of the relationships I had with friends in the context of faith mattered, I would have said chuck it a long time ago. I haven't completely given up on the idea of faith and spirituality but this is where I am right now.

I don't know if there is anyone in the same position as me out there. I've enjoyed visiting this site and "reconnecting" with some people and perhaps making new connections.

- Shin Evans

Hi, Shin,

Actually this makes you one among many on this board. There are those with clearly defined belief systems, mostly ex-Assemblyites who have had several years to get answers to their questions. But there are many who have left in the past year or two who are still "searching."

Feel free to post your thoughts and questions. Not everyone will agree, but you won't get too much grief and you'll probably get a lot of help hashing things out if you want it.

S

[shinchy]

Hi, Shin,

Actually this makes you one among many on this board. There are those with clearly defined belief systems, mostly ex-Assemblyites who have had several years to get answers to their questions. But there are many who have left in the past year or two who are still "searching."

Feel free to post your thoughts and questions. Not everyone will agree, but you won't get too much grief and you'll probably get a lot of help hashing things out if you want it.

S

Hi Scott,
Thanks. I feel a lot better after hearing that. It's been a few years and I don't really expect this board experience to be "I've been re-saved by Jesus, Praise the Lord" but it helps to talk about these things with people who have been there.

To use an anaology from Star Trek Voyager, the post assembly journey feels like the Seven of Nine journey. Seven of Nine, the ex-Borg dealt with becoming human again in the series. She still had some of the cybernetic hardware but she was no longer connected to the collective and had to learn again what is was to be human, an individual. On one hand, this experience is a part of who I am but I have been becoming something different ever since. I could also relate to the rage Captain Picard felt when he dealt with the Borg in "First Contact." For some people who are not into Star Trek, sorry for the analogies but I am a Star Trek junkie. The people who knew me in San Diego can attest to that.

- Shin

[al Hartman]

To use an anaology from Star Trek Voyager, the post assembly journey feels like the Seven of Nine journey. Seven of Nine, the ex-Borg dealt with becoming human again in the series. She still had some of the cybernetic hardware but she was no longer connected to the collective and had to learn again what is was to be human, an individual. On one hand, this experience is a part of who I am but I have been becoming something different ever since. I could also relate to the rage Captain Picard felt when he dealt with the Borg in "First Contact." For some people who are not into Star Trek, sorry for the analogies but I am a Star Trek junkie. The people who knew me in San Diego can attest to that.

- Shin

Shin,

     You seem to have an honest and optimistic perspective.  If you're willing to carry your Seven of Nine analogy to a long range goal, you'll realize that she went on to become an attorney who now teaches in a public high school in Bostson!
     Who knows but what, down the road, you may become a great leader, saving many of us from the trappings of our dictator-ruled past-- something of a "Shinchy's List."

Glad you're here,
al ;

[Scott McCumber]

Hi, Shin,

Actually this makes you one among many on this board. There are those with clearly defined belief systems, mostly ex-Assemblyites who have had several years to get answers to their questions. But there are many who have left in the past year or two who are still "searching."

Feel free to post your thoughts and questions. Not everyone will agree, but you won't get too much grief and you'll probably get a lot of help hashing things out if you want it.

S

Hi Scott,
Thanks. I feel a lot better after hearing that. It's been a few years and I don't really expect this board experience to be "I've been re-saved by Jesus, Praise the Lord" but it helps to talk about these things with people who have been there.

To use an anaology from Star Trek Voyager, the post assembly journey feels like the Seven of Nine journey. Seven of Nine, the ex-Borg dealt with becoming human again in the series. She still had some of the cybernetic hardware but she was no longer connected to the collective and had to learn again what is was to be human, an individual. On one hand, this experience is a part of who I am but I have been becoming something different ever since. I could also relate to the rage Captain Picard felt when he dealt with the Borg in "First Contact." For some people who are not into Star Trek, sorry for the analogies but I am a Star Trek junkie. The people who knew me in San Diego can attest to that.

- Shin

Shin,

Again, you're in good company. The Borg analogy has definitely made the rounds. Especially via Arthur, Marcia & Hugh.

But sorry, I never saw anyone in a headcovering and denim dress that looked like Seven of Nine!

S

[shinchy]

Thanks, Scott and al. I definitely appreciate the warmth and welcoming tone of your responses to my posts.

I'm glad the Borg analogy has been used before. It is a perfect metaphor for the experience.

 

[sfortescue]

The Matrix analogy has also come up:

For those of you just coming out from being under the grasp of the assembly,

Welcome ... to the real world.

[shinchy]

The Matrix analogy has also come up:

For those of you just coming out from being under the grasp of the assembly,

Welcome ... to the real world.

That explains why I have something on the back of my head  

Love the Matrix. At least the first film.