Should I go public?

[editor]

Thank you John!

I could not agree more.  You do add a very important presence to this forum, and I am glad that the Lord crossed our paths.

I know I speak for at least several others when I say that we value your input.  Also, thank you making yourself available.

I hope that people will call or mail you, because I know they will benefit.

So, let's go on record here.  This website is NOT about drawing away disciples after a person or church.  It is about helping fellow believers (most ex assembly people are believers, some are not) who have been suffering under an evil system, masquerading as a "New Testament Gathering."

Do we care where you end up after leaving the Assembly? Yes, we do, and we pray that you will find true pasture and rest in the grace of God.  Where that may be is up to each of you.  However, I recommend that you listen, think, read, and pray before "comitting" to any church. Take some time to heal, and learn the truth as it is in Jesus.

One thing we can all agree on is that you need to get OUT of the Geftakys group.  God is not blessing that place, and may not even be present at all.

Editor

[trockman]

Hi Eric

Please feel free to do exactly what you are doing. Impulsive posts are no less real or valuable than 2 hour contemplative posts, and the fact is, you have more time to spend with your wife and kids if you do the quick posts. (Suzie appreciates my time more than posts)

This is a safe place, and no one should be made to feel immature, self-concsious or anything else.  Even though this is cyber-space and is only a virtual community, I really pray that Grace may be present.

If we post a brick, there is Grace for that.  If we are all at different stages, having a different emotional response because we just got fired, etc. that's OK!

Like Kimberly said, this is therapy.  

I am willing to listen to anything someone has to say if it helps them sort things out, and I am most confident that the vast majority of people on this site feel the same way.  

If this BB gets a rigid culture, then I will ask to see it shut down.  I want freedom here.

Well, this was a late night, impulsive post if I ever saw one.

Brent

[Oscar]

Remember this?
You are sitting in the evening meeting of a seminar.  GG has been blathering for an hour and a half, its already past time to go home...and then he says, "I'm not quite finished, I need another 15 minutes, (which you know will be at least a half hour), you want me to give you all this don't you?"  
Every fiber of your being wants to scream, "NNOOOOOOO, PLEASE GOD NOOOOOO! "  And then all the single brothers in the first two rows start nodding their heads and saying, "Amen, Praise the Lord!"  Then you must stifle a groan that is trying to escape from the depths of your psyche.  And you endure it some more, until finally that wonderful, precious, savory moment arrives...and you are FREE...at least until pre-prayer tomorrow morning.

[Terry L Huffman]

Hi Freebird:
Good for you! Altho I expressed myself as I saw it, I hope that it wasn't construed as a personal attack on your character. I had some major doubts for awhile that I didn't do anything about when I left the assembly.

BTW I saw LS a few months before their plane crash.
Ronnie Van Zandt forgot some of the lines to one of the songs....

[brian]

as someone who was raised in the Group, as i call it, who has left and stayed relatively stable, i wanted to weigh in on this topic.

one of my fascinations in life has always been psychology. my study of psychology has deepened my appreciation of how differently we all work on the inside, and this includes what we each go through as we leave the group. we all have very different needs as we are adjusting to life on the outside. and you know what - that is absolutely ok! what i needed, due to my particular personality, was a lot of time alone to sort through everything. i would not have jumped into a forum like this (it is still not my natural inclination, not because y'all are not great people  , but just because i am not a very social person), and i was certainly not ready for confrontation and conflicts with the people still in the group, especially the leaders. what i did need (badly!) was to establish an identity completely separate from the group. i needed to accomplish things and decide things completely on my own. i am bolding that because that is a critical step in recovering. find trusted friends who do not want to control you. think carefully about what to do. trust yourself. if you still have faith, pray about what to do, and wait on God. when you are ready to go public, you'll know.

be sincere. and don't let guilt or fear control you. there is no reason to feel afraid.

cultivate new skills. develop yourself. grow. have fun. explore the huge and fascinating planet you live on. experience something completely new on a regular basis. rest. heal. reconnect with your family. there is no longer anyone who can keep you from doing these things!

[Rachel]

Freebird,

I am glad you decided to speak up.  I know for some they need time before they are ready to go public.  We can all only handle so much pain at a time.  Sometimes the pain of leaving the assembly is all we can handle.  Going public can cause further rejection from the few former close friends still willing to talk to us.  However, going public has some good side effects.  There is less harrassment because no one is anylonger trying to prevent you from going public.  When you tell your story others can see it and comparing our stories helps us see that we were not alone and that the way we were treated was not just because of our personal problems but because of the problems in the assembly.  The process of telling your story is theraputic.  I found when I wrote it down all of the excuses I had heard for years seemed rediculous.  Writing it helped me logicly think about the events and helped free me the assembly lies and confussion.

I think going public is an integral step to recovering from the assembly.  The assembly teaches us to hide the truth when it may not fit the idealised image they want.  Telling the truth frees us from that.

[Mark C.]

Greetings to all the Publicans !
   I agree with Rachel that everyone is different and will need to find their own pace re. how to handle going public.
  When I first left I did not have the luxury of this wonderful bulletin board, which I know is expediting healing and growth in those who are reading and posting here.  What I did have were some that had left before me and they were able to give me some great literature to help me in my recovery.  I also found a couple of web sites that had BB's that talked about cults and found that their experiences were very similar to mine.  I just read for a long time (lurker) but finally was drawn out into posting (public) due to my concern for those, who in rejecting their cult rejected God.  They saw God as being synonomous with the group.  It was great discussing grace and healing, as just thinking about what to say was a great blessing.  
One BB was called, "Wounded Pilgrims" and through thinking about that title and what it meant I saw that all these broken lives were very near and dear to our Lord's heart (could these be the little one's whom our Lord talked about not offending?).  Jesus was terribly wounded by the religious abusers of his time and in that we share in part.  Jesus was also very strong in his condemnation of same (MT.23).
   It was love that made God "go public" by the incarnation; that made Jesus tell the truth; and that caused him to be rejected and wounded; and that finally led him to the cross.  I think as the wonderful healing grace of God reaches our hearts we are obliged to leave our shells and try to reach out and help those we see who are struggling.
                                        God Bless,  Mark

[Terry L Huffman]

Hello Mr. Xander:

I agree with the timing aspect. It probably shd.n't be too long, but I don't think that there is a hard and fast rule for everyone to go by in terms of how one exits. I like especially your comment on the motivation of love. "Speak the truth in love..." I think may be both what we say and how we say it.

[trockman]

Hello re-publicans!  

I think you guys got it just right about going "public."  The real question is HOW to go public, and when.  I don't think fear has any place at all, but it will take some time before we can deal with our fear.  The Lord knows!

Not everyone needs to put stuff on the Internet, but the one thing I think we all need to do, and I am not open to another opinion on this one, is to APOLGIZE to people we may have wronged, rejected, shunned or hurt in some way while we were still Lodge Adherents.  (John Malone, you may be our first OVERCOMER for that one...)

I think this is what our Lord requires, and the apology and subsequent righting of wrongs is just the type of public disclosure that wins others out of the "goofy sychophantic" Lodge member's meetings.  (yet another Malonism.  If he keeps it up he is going to rival Mark C. as my favorite poster.)

Confession and repentance requires far more courage than putting our name on a bulletin board or a letter.  So, that is the extent that we must go public, the rest is a matter of conscience, and will vary among individuals.  It seems that we have a very good mix here, which when added together is a pretty compelling reason to follow the Lord out of the Lodge.

Brent

[Mark C.]

Hi All,
  John is my favorite poster as well Brent, but he has caused my side to ache with laughter and I will have to come see you for some adjustments (Malonisms indeed! ).
  Sindy (my wife) and I were talking about the past wrongs committed against us in the Assembly the other day and I was wondering re. those I may have wronged in my job as "heap big leading Bro." in the Valley.  My personality was much more passive and as such I can't remember any overt tongue lashings that I issued toward God's little one's.  However I bear a great responsibility for sitting by and quietly "trusting the Lord" that he would deal with "the Leadership".  
   There may be some present Member of the Assembly who believes that they are not part of the abuse, but remain there to be a "balance" to the aggressive abuser in the midst.  This "balancer" is an enabler and shares in part with the crime of the abuser.  I don't think that any rational person can deny, after reading Rachel's story, that the Assembly is not abusive in nature and that those in charge are clearly evil.  However, there may be some still inside who think that it is their job to stay there and "trust the Lord' to deal with the problem.  If you stay you will, like I did for almost 20 years, support the abuse and not help the abused.  You can stay there and try to encourage the down trodden with messages of grace in an attempt to "balance" but your message will be drowned out by the loud drone of GG's teaching and Assembly practice.  God Bless,  Mark

[Kimberley Tobin]

BTW, his name is Kyle!  And we couldn't be happier.  He is the nicest christian boy!  We met him separately from Brittni (he is in our Adult bible study at church!)   After we met him, both my husband and I commented on his involvement in the bible study.  He was talking and interacting with the rest of the class.  Upon leaving our bible study, I said to my husband, "Now that is a very nice young man."  My husband resoundingly concurred.

Weeks later, without our manipulations (directly-we put in a good word for him) they are dating!  Finally, Brittni is having a normal teenage life, instead of what the Assembly foists on young teenagers.  Due to the oppressive control, the teens will sneak out of the house behind their parents backs.  Often, choosing the wrong kind of guy , because the right kind of guy wouldn't want her sneaking out behind her parents backs!  

[editor]

Great news Kimberly!

Attention!

Can someone please post the complete, verbatim, Selfer's Prayerhere?  I seem to have forgotten the exact wording, and it is so important to have it just right.

I am serious, can someone please post the exact prayer?

editor

[Rachel]

After I read Kimberley's post, I just had to respond.

DUH

Contrary to assembly premise that children are born manipulative cunningly evil creatures who will be bad unless forced otherwise, most assembly kids don't want to go out and sleep with everyone of the opposite sex that they come in contact with.  (a little exageration for effect  ).  Most of the assembly kids just want to grow and develop in a normal and healthy manner.  They want to interact with others their age regardless of sex.  And they need to learn how to have relationships with members of the opposite sex gradually rather then having nearly no serious contact with the opposite sex until they are engaged.  Actually a lot of the problems they have with the teens in the assembly is the result of to much control and not allowing them to develop normally.  It reminds me of Chinese foot binding.  It looks "good" on the outside but underneath the covering real damage is being done by the controling bindings.


I am so happy for Brittni.  Life is a wonderful thing.  Freedom is neccessary and there is joy.

YEAH!!!!

[Rachel]

After I read Kimberley's post, I just had to respond.

DUH

Contrary to assembly premise that children are born manipulative cunningly evil creatures who will be bad unless forced otherwise, most assembly kids don't want to go out and sleep with everyone of the opposite sex that they come in contact with.  (a little exageration for effect  ).  Most of the assembly kids just want to grow and develop in a normal and healthy manner.  They want to interact with others their age regardless of sex.  And they need to learn how to have relationships with members of the opposite sex gradually rather then having nearly no serious contact with the opposite sex until they are engaged.  Actually a lot of the problems they have with the teens in the assembly is the result of to much control and not allowing them to develop normally.  It reminds me of Chinese foot binding.  It looks "good" on the outside but underneath the covering real damage is being done by the controling bindings.


I am so happy for Brittni.  Life is a wonderful thing.  Freedom is neccessary and there is joy.

YEAH!!!!

[Aslan213]

Hi,

I have the Selfer's Prayer in Powerpoint from an old computer, but I don't have Powerpoint anymore.  

Anybody have it?

Eric