Weird Teachings

[retread]

Garth also brings up a good point in his article "Escape from Lombard" about the loss of a perceived friendship with Gary when Gary became a LB.  I don't believe for a second that the reason was that Gary had more important things to do when he became a leading brother.  I was told by a worker (also a big gossip) that when someone enters a place of leadership in the assembly, that if they have any close friendships, that these are to be broken, because the other saints might resent those involved in these friendships because they were closer to the leadership.  This only showed the arrogance of the leadership and their elevated "we are better than you" attitude.  There was a definite class system.  We were just their insignificant pawns, there to be controlled by them and to serve them, but not of a high enough class to be in a close friendship with them. They had already arrived why should they associate with us.  I heard of other cases such as Garth's where friendships were ended, and people suffered deeply because of it.  They cared only about elevating their own position in the assembly, not about the flock.  This make me sick.  However the leadership was able to have close friendships among themselves (no fear of the homosexual relationships that Betty was worried about here).

I was also deeply disappointed to hear how Roger dealt with Ken Ludwig. Roger was one of the few people in leadership, who seemed to have a truly kind heart and had a care for the saints.  Garth's article was the first place that I heard this account.  I had no trust for most in high leadership positions in the assembly (I have been a first hand witness to lies and deceit by the leadership in Fullerton that occurred openly before others in leadership), although I was always impressed by the care and kindness that Roger showed to others and to his family.  I guess that Roger must have known at least something of the types of things that were going on because of his closeness to George.  But it is still difficult for me to have any bad thoughts of Roger.  I must stop writing now, my heart hurts too much.

[Oscar]

I know this post is going to sound a little bizzare but I am only putting it in here because it is true and because I think it goes to show what level of weirdness I was living at and was willing to over-look when in the assembly.

I know many of the former assembly members have told me that they were taught the following:

• The reason we didn't have "best friends" in the assembly was because we did not want to be exclusive so we didn't have exclusive relationships.

However, my experience was much different.  When I was 14, I spent a summer at my grandparent's house.  During that time, I became relatively close friends with a daughter of another Leading Brother in Fullerton.  (that leading brother and his family have since left)  We had the usual friendship of two 14 year old girls.  We enjoyed talking about life, thoughts, etc.  I didn't have a lot of free time that summer but whenever I was at a meeting or outreach and she was there we would hang out together and talk.  My grandmother learned of this.  She thought if she gave me a teaching about best friends through Barb Zach, who I was rooming with and who was closer to my age, I might accept it better.  At least, that is what I thought at the time.  Maybe she just didn't want me to hear it from her directly.  All I know Betty gave Barb a paper to give to me to read.  Barb explained the reason we didn't have best friends in the assembly was we didn't want to have happen to us what had happened to the women in this story.  Now this may not seem so wierd yet.  However, the wierd part is the content of the story.  The story was of two Christian women.  They were adults, both married and mothers.  They were not women in the assembly.  They had a close friendship that eventually crossed the boundries of a platonic relationship  into a physical relationship.  In other words, a lesbian relationship.  

The danger of ending up in a lesbian relationship, was the reason given to me at 14, that we didn't have "best friend" relationships.  At the time, I brushed this off as just another one of "those things" that grandma said.  This did not strike me, at the time, as weird, which should demonstrate the level of weirdness I was living in.  However in hindsight, I realized that was a very strange thing for a grandmother to give to her granddaughter.

Rachel,

The real reason they didn't allow friendships was that GG feared that friends would support each other instead of him or his lieutenants.
They were seen as a potintial threat to "unity", control.

God bless,
Thomas Maddux

[Oscar]

Retread,

"I was also deeply disappointed to hear how Roger dealt with Ken Ludwig."

Many times leaders would violate their own consciences in dealing with people under the direct orders of El Magnifico.

Roger probably hated what he was doing, but did it anyway because to refuse would cost him his special relationship to GG.   Sad isn't it.   GG took normal human desires, ie, to be respected and liked, and twisted them into tools for control.

Many suffered.

God bless,
Thomas Maddux

[Mark C.]

Dear Rachel,
   Betty's weird letter may explain a repressed malady she had herself?  Her seeming hatred of women may reveal a key to understanding this same repression?
   Dark sin left hidden in the heart can produce some very weird behavior indeed.
                                        God Bless,  Mark

[MichelleDJ]

Mark C -

You asked about "Boundaries" which I've read, but I feel there are other, better ones out there.  So, here's a few:

• Safe Places by Stephen Arterburn, Frank Minirth, Paul Meier (don't let the Minirth-Meier name keep you from it)
  
• Bold Love by Dr Dan Allender and Dr Tremper Longman III - this is an incredible, life-changing book
  
• Transforming Grace by Jerry Bridges

The two books that had the greatest impact on my own personal life were another two by Dr. Dan Allender.  The first, The Healing Path, would be great for anyone who has any pain in their lives.  What do we do with the pain?  Get over it?  Ignore it?  

A book I would recommend for any woman (or man) who has been abused, be it sexually, physically, verbally, or emotionally, would be The Wounded Heart, again by Dan Allender.  There are study guides for both books.  Both books are excellent at driving deep into your soul, giving the vines a pruning you'll never forget.  Is it all about Dan Allender?  Nope, but he's all about the Lord.  

I'd recommend any of these books.

[Nate Dogg]

Back in my mid-highschool years I served as a doorkeeper in training  for the champaign assembly. One day at the doorkeepers mtg, an LB told us he wanted to have a seperate meeting about failures in  the doorkeepers ministry. At the meeting he began by saying he wasn't going to rail, then proceeded to  rail for half an hour straight about why being 5 minutes late and not having all the chairs set up correctly disappointed the Lord.
At the end of the meeting it was agreed that instead of getting to the meeting house at 6:30 or 6:45,  we would be there at 6:00. I was running cross country at the time and so this was not possible as the practices ran late. This greatly disappointed them.
A few Sundays later, I failed to  prepare ministry and one of the doorkeepers exhorted me for it. the next Sunday  I prepared something, and  was exhorted again because it didnt have three points.
And who can forget being exhorted as a teen to start a Bible Study on campus! I always envied those who could pull  this  off and have "hundreds" of visitors. I was scared out of my mind to do something like that as a teenager. I had enough problems!
All that wheel and line stuff with the flags and mountains and valleys and spirit and soul and body never made any sense to me. We were exhorted to literally repeat the Selfers Prayer every time we felt self getting on the throne, and this was at 12 years of age! I dont know if AKs have a full idea of how much this teaching has damaged and straightjacketed them-- I am only beginning to come to some understanding.
                           Nate

[Arthur]

Dude, that's messed up.  I'm glad I never tried for doorkeeper.  I've had one little similar experience. I helped with the sound system when I was in Fullerton.  One Sunday before the meeting I was placing the cord underneath its runner and then rolling up the remaining cord.  A lb walks by and says in a harsh voice "Make sure you roll up that cord and keep it of the way. We need to keep things clean in the house of God." This last sentence he said in a manner as if to imply that it was something so sacred.
I thought, "Man, what fruit tree did you fall out of?  You probably had problems with certain retentions when you were a child.  Sit down and take a stress pill."
It was common for dork-eepers to forcefully tell single bro's to do something that they were already doing. A single bro would be moving a chair and a doorkeeper would come up and say, "move that chair."  
Uh..hello?! Du-uh.

[Rudy]

Arthur,

Being  a doorkeeper where you had to be accountable only 3 times
a week pales in comparison to someone that has lived in a training
home. Someone that has lived in a training home has experienced
more than matthews.

[Rudy]

Nate,

I had a good response. But the "gods" trashed it.

Dude, they totally "messed" with you. Keep your
relationship with the Shepherd - nothing else matters.
If noone else makes it to the end of the race, what
matters is that you keep your eyes forward and
break the tape at the end of race.

[Ken Fuller]

Here's one -- I wouldn't call it a "teaching", because I know of no one that followed it (or ever admitted it).  But it seems fit for this thread.

Did anyone think it was a bit strange (I could use many other words) that Mike Z had his kid's rooms bugged so he could listen to their conversations?

I always thought that was crossing the line of 'parental authority' -- I'm not sure how I would take it if when I grew up I found out my parents had my room bugged my whole life ....

(you gotta wonder now if it was only the kid's rooms, or was it every room in the house??)

[Eulaha L. Long]

Ken, that is creepy!  And an invasion of privacy.

How about this one:  when I lived in a training home, we were not allowed to use a cordless phone.  If we wanted to make a call, one had to make in dining room, so the whole house could hear one's conversation.  I guess the head steward figures that if we had to make the call in the presence of others, it would cut down the tendency to criticize the Assembly...

Cristina, do you know what I am speaking about?  You and I lived in the same training home...

[Heide]

Here's an oldie:

Not being able to go into a brother's or sister's house if you were of the opposite sex unless a leading couple was there. Other couples didn't count because they didn't have spiritual discernment... Anyone remember that in the SLO assembly?

Heide

[Fighter]

Yeah Heide,
I remember that one.  I was watching Brent and Suzie's first baby.  My roomate was home with me and my fiance came over.  My roomate didn't tell me to my face that it was wrong to have my fiance over because we did not have a married couple of good standing in our home - now who would that married couple of good standing be?  There were only 5 married couples in the assembly at the time, David and Judy,  Jeff and Nancy,  Tom and Sally, Greg and Marcie, and Eric and Sheila.  

No, instead of my roomate confronting me face to face about having my fiance over with no married couple, she went to the leading brothers.  She probably asked them if it was okay in a question format.  I got reprimanded.

See the game?
 
Well the game is over!

You know, the conscience is a good thing!  I don't know why I fell for not following my conscience.

[Heide]

If you had followed your conscience Fighter, you would have been out of there long before I ever left! Or not. I think you need to talk more and especially tell us about your fiance. Things you went thru in your engagement. Especially how you were to behave in your newly wedded life....

Or lets go back even further to the puppet ministry. Who was in charge but.... Who did we listen too? Michael or James because they were men???

[Heide]

I was just reminded of the teachings on women and modesty for meetings, especially Sunday morning.

I remember Roberto telling a sister after Sunday morning worship that she looked too nice! She was married and had asked her husband if her outfit was ok to wear, he said she was fine. The sister told Roberto her husband had said it was ok and he should talk to her husband. At that point I left. Imagine dressing to nicely to come into the presence of the Lord. Here I thought we were suppose to bring our best! But, remember this comes from a man who wears the finest suits while his wife looks like she has on a sack cloth.

Also what was up with the wierd teaching of keeping your wife pregnant at all times. Even if it is detrimental to her health. I saw women give birth and within a few months be pregnant with the next child. Is it more important to have children than a healthy wife?

Heide