Following is an e-mail I sent to Brent that he said should be posted here if I want group answers. First, see my first e-mail with a scenario and questions to Brent about discipline of a church leader, then his reply and then my follow up question. I welcome any insights and comments on how these matters should be handled. This one has bothered me for years.
My first e-mail -
Gretchen ----- Original Message -----
From: Honan, Gretchen/SCO
To:
editor@geftakysassembly.com Sent: Thursday, February 13, 2003 7:08 PM
Subject: Question
Brent-
Can you and your viewers (is that what you call webites?) weigh in with advise on how ones should handle issues of sin and discipline among leaders as described below?
Here is the scenario:
1) a prominent, gifted, married teacher in a local gathering is found to have an improper relationship with a woman not his wife (unfortunatly this sounds too familiar). This woman is distressed and compromised by the growth of intimacy and pursuit for intimacy by this man. She ends the relationship and then, due to conscience, brings it to the elders and deacons. She does this partly to seek help herself and partly to make them aware he needs help.
2) These leaders meet with the teacher and discuss the allegations to which he admits. They decide 2 things a) he should step down from teaching for a time as part of the fruit of his repentance and b) he should seek marital counseling with his wife to get at the root cause of his emotional infidelity and find healing. After "some time" under their watchful eye they expect that he will be restored to full teaching priviledge. They are taking these steps to seek his restoration not his destruction, in full awareness that character counts for more than gift in Christ's service and wanting this teacher to have a "good report of those who are without."
Question 1 - Were they too harsh? Was the discipline appropriate to the offense? This discipline will make the sin public, is this the right thing to do? Should it have been dealt with privately and he allowed to continue preaching while meeting with a counselor? Since there were no allegations of physical infidelity only emotional should they have done anythng at all?
I have a follow up question but would like to hear any thoughts on the above.
Thanks.
Gretchen Honan
Brent's reply -
-----Original Message-----
From: Editor [mailto:editor@geftakysassembly.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 13, 2003 8:12 PM
To: Honan, Gretchen/SCO
Subject: Re: Question
Hi Gretchen!
Only I will see this, unless you post it on the bulletin board, which is not mine anymore. I gave it up, but Brian Tucker is running it now.
www.briantucker.net/bb/index.php1.) Here you define the problem. Mutual infidelity, worse on the part of the man. While it is only emotional infidelity, it is infidelity nonetheless.
2.)A couple of major things here. Number one, the man ADMITS his sin. This is key, absolutely critical. He owned up to it at the first.
From the info you gave, I think that their discipline was totally appropriate. Since the man was co-operative, and confessed his sin, he should be allowed to demonstrate his repentance, and following clearing of himself, he should be restored to whatever place his brethren feel is his due.
Answer to question 1: They were NOT too harsh, given what you said above. The man admitted it, and apparently co=operated and was subject to the church. by definition, the discipline was also appropriate to the offense.
As for it being public, we read in 1 Timothy 5:16-22 that elders should be rebuked in front of the whole church, so that others will have a proper fear of God. (read it in the New Living Translation, or look up the words.) If anything, I think a case could be made that the discipline was too soft, but if the offender's demeanor, and clarity was satisfactory, then it could be agreed that the whole church would not have to know. That would be the exception, not the rule. When prominent leaders fail, they damage people's faith, and they incur a stricter judgment.
Under no circumstances should this person be allowed to teach, until such a time as the congregation, or elders, etc. agree that he is clear.
This sounds a lot like David Hocking?
Brent
My latest e-mail and new questions - please weigh in.....
-----Original Message-----
From: Honan, Gretchen/SCO
Sent: Thursday, February 13, 2003 9:11 PM
To: 'Editor'
Subject: RE: Question
Thanks Brent - I can send it there too.
It is David Hocking. Which brings me to my second question in general and one for you as an investigator. I worked about 6 years ago with a very dear and encouraging Christian man. He and his wife went to Grace Community Church in Santa Ana where Hocking taught. He was a deacon. After all this transpired he was really troubled one day (I sat next to him). I found out that that what was troubling him was the fact that Chuck Smith had decided on his own, without consulting these men, that Hocking 's gift of teaching should not be stifled. He offered David Hocking escape from this discipline and a place to teach at Calvary Costa Mesa. My friend and those at his church were deeply grieved by this behavior, which showed Chuck felt he was above their authority as church leaders, yet they were powerless against such a big name as Chuck Smith. He said God honored their church with growth and they did not regret their stand, but were sore grieved at being bowled over in such a way.
My second set of questions are: Is Chuck then a serpent and a viper for taking this man in and ignoring the discipline of the church? Does he see himself as a law unto himself? I do not know the man other than Calvary Costa Mesa is where my family goes (who were also grieved by these events, but did not know what to do. They are sheep). Should there be or has there been public correction of Chuck Smith for this behavior? Is partiality being shown him because of his reputation and position?
The above question is also influenced by the following event I witnessed - I don't know what to think of Chuck Smith and his ministry and the partiality given he and his family.
A women I worked with before that also attended Calvary Costa Mesa. She was really excited because Chuck Jr. was getting married. I said I thought he already was married. She said "oh yes,but his wife left him last year. She still attends the Calvary where he is pastor but does not want to be married to him." When I asked her if there was adultery or if the ex-wife had already re-married - struggling to find some way this could be legitimate - she said "No. But, he needs a wife and a mother for his children." When I asked if he was still the pastor or had ever stepped down through all this, she looked at me with amazement. "No." "Excuse me, I said but don't you think, as an example to the flock and the struggling marriages a pastor should at least exhaust all avenues for reconciliation, and like a Hosea remain loyal and true to his vow before God "'til death do us part?" "Isn't he as a leader held to a higher standard, and shouldn't he consider over his own happiness what kind of example he is setting?" She was very upset and hardly spoke to me after this. I clearly stepped on toes here daring to question Chuck Smith Jr. and others in marrying him there and allowing him to continue to lead. When I told this to my brother and his wife, again what grief. They had been on the verge of divorce and it was only the Lord clearly speaking to my brother that He hated divorce that caused him to seek reconciliation and find God's healing. So, it was a stumbling to them and, I must confess a temptation to my brother to find this same kind of "blessing" in a new marriage. Thank God, they walked before Him and did not let this stumble them. According to them, this has happened at another Calvary they attended so they left (the pastor divorcing his wife and remarrying another woman from the congregation while still leading).
Do you know if Chuck Smith Sr. blessed this action? I know my co-worker, who attended heard it as great joyful news. Do you know how many marriages were stumbled or emboldened to divorce and re-marry by this example of leadership? I have always wondered about this.
Thanks for any information you can provide.
