"But Lord, what about this man?" Jn 20:20b "What is that to you? You follow Me." Jn 20:22b
THE PURPOSE OF THIS POST: Is NOT to tell anyone what to think or what to do [ to continue in fellowship in one of the assemblies or to leave] . It is simply to point to the ONE WHO CAN - JESUS CHRIST.
I am no longer a part of the FULLERTON fellowship, although I will from time to time attend a meeting. Will I ever return - as in the sense - "committed to that place of fellowship", I don't know.
My purpose in posting this is to not give reasons, arguements, justifications, etc. for any of my actions. It is merely to give a inward look into the heart of one who simply wants to follow the call of his Master. It is my call and no others.
1) A HEART'S REACTION: Upon reading the initial posts, my heart was saddened, my pride crushed. Looking back, I see how my hands reached out to try to take control. Isn't that a laugh.
There were numerous reasons for me to continue on in Fullerton. Was I walking with the Lord. Absolutely. Was my heart yeilded to Him. Absolutely. Was He speaking to me. Absolutely.
2) HIS call to Me: II Cor 3:15-18. A turned heart - a removed veil. I simply turned my heart and asked HIM what HE wanted for me and my wife Linda. I stood upon those verses. They have been my promise for clear direction [ for me ].
3) A Six Week Journey: Everyday has been new. Everyday I have been seeing Christ in new ways. Passage upon passage from God's word has strengthend, encouraged, convicted me and brought great comfort to my soul. I feel as if I have launched out into a new a wonderful journey. I have no idea of the destination nor the pathway but I know He is over all. I know HE indwells me. I know I am in HIM. What more could I ask for. It is a journey of fellowship with my Lord.
4) A wonderful Separation: What is so wonderful about this journey is that I sense day be day that He is separating me from that which I had my hands upon unto Himself. I feel so disconnected to that which seemed so important just weeks ago [ I speak in a subjective sense ].
None of this happened through any self effort. It is his work. It is His separation. See Gal 1, Rom 6.
I no longer have to control or be concerned of the outcome of Fulleron
. If I do return, it will be in complete liberty.
5) To the abused, down trodden and anyone within the assemblies or without. If what was happened still drives you [ controls you ], God can and wants to get separation in our lives. I can not and will not tell anyone what to specifically do. But I will venture to say this. There is available for all - COMPLETE FREEDOM. Freedom from the pain and freedom from the past
It is not in the selfer's prayer, not in the wheel and the line, nor any other tool that one may take and methodize.
It is not outside of you. You need not go anywhere to find it. It is dwelling deep within you inward parts "Rom 10:6-13."
We all missed so much because we thought we could achieve things through self-effort. It is ALL His work. He has seperated us to Himself and only the Holy Spirit can bring us to the subjective knowledge of it. The wonderful thing is that He delights to do this. Romans 3-5 all speak of what He has done. It is all ours by new birth. Grace, grace, grace, grace, grace.
Concluding thought. Wherever your place of fellowship, wherever you are with the Saviour - you are His - and we are brethern. I wish you all the best. My prayer for all of us is that in the final analysis may we know "fellowship with Him." God bless each and everyone of you as you seek to know Him and follow Him.
P.S
There are 2 brothers from Hong Kong [ I believe ]. There will some meetings in Fullerton this week with them. I will attend [casual observor]. This is a learning exercise.
I have gone to another place on Sundays. Next week I will visit a couple of their other meetings. Please pray for me. Is this the next stop on the journey? Last Sunday did bless my heart.
Lord bless