Assembly Rumors

[David Mauldin]

George is a Godly man who for over 50 years has always done his very best to honor the Lord in every aspect of his life.

[al Hartman]

     Betty complained that George's snoring kept her awake.

     George figured out the problem:  it only happened on nights when Betty had a coffee enema right before bed.

[Joe Sperling]

it's funny you mention George's snoring Al---
it used to keep me awake during "All Night's of
Prayer".

-Joe

[al Hartman]

     Is THAT what that was!!!  i always thought the building was shaking!!!

[Joe Sperling]

Thanks to all of you who have called Dr.Oswald Shavers at the number listed below on another of my posts. He has been innundated with calls from ex-Assembly members looking to have the electronic devices removed from their
heads. I feel so much better now that I have had mine removed. And you will too. Why don't you give him a call?

I must admit I receive a "finders fee" for every new patient the doctor administers to, but it isn't that much. Unless you consider a new BMW and a butler a bit too extravagant. But I promise the rest of the money will be given to charity, just like all the money George received during the years he headed the Assembly went to charity too.

I know there are many more of you out there with those nasty electronic devices in your heads, pounding Assembly dogma into your thoughts day and night. Don't you just yearn to be free of that??? Then call Dr. Shavers today--you won't regret it, and neither will I.

[moonflower]

Goldrush 2003.  Change left on counters and basement boullions found in San Andreas fault.  Thousands retire after panning for a mere seven days. (Tired, but rejoicing!)Handmade "mats" covered with manna found all along the fault.

[al Hartman]

     Can anyone verify whether Betty taught that the manna that fed the children of Israel in the wilderness was a carob-based high fiber nutrient?

[Sebastian Andrew]

That's hog swill Al . Where'd you get that from?

[retread]

That's hog swill Al . Where'd you get that from?

No, I think that Betty was much more of a source for hog swill, than Al could ever be.

Actually, hog swill is noticeably better than that carob stuff.

That’s carob Sebastian . Where'd you get that from?

 

[al Hartman]

Now, now!!!  Let's be kind to one another.  As people say who live in the desert, "Can't we all just get a lawn?"


But think about this:  The proper name for the tree from which carob comes is the Locust.  So could one of the great plagues of Egypt actually been CAROB???

[Joe Sperling]

No kidding---someone spotted George driving a
T.V. repairman's truck yesterday. I guess he has
to make a living somehow, but I never thought
he'd choose that career. Oh well, you live and learn.

[al Hartman]

     Sounds a lot like an urban legend...  When and WHY would George have taken the time to learn to fix TVs?

     Much more likely he's the delivery driver for the mechanic shop that fixes the truck.

[vernecarty]

No kidding---someone spotted George driving a
T.V. repairman's truck yesterday. I guess he has
to make a living somehow, but I never thought
he'd choose that career. Oh well, you live and learn.

The reason for this ploy is obvious. He needs another legitimate way to get his foot inside the door of law-abiding, God-fearing folk...what with his being excommunicated and all, he certainly cannot claim to be an ITINERERANT preacher now can he...?  
Verne

[Bluejay]

Did Tim Geftakys get fired as the Alabama head football coach last week?  I didn't hear the name of the coach, but when I heard about the behaviour exhibited in the hotel room down in Alabama, I thought that maybe that was Tim.