The Great Carob Deception

[paul hohulin]

Dictionary Definitions

Carob-1.an evergreen tree of the Mediterranean area. 2. its long, edible, fleshy seed pod, used especially as fodder.

Fodder-coarse food for cattle, horses, sheep, etc., as cornstalks, hay, and straw.

Chocolate-a paste, powder, sirup, or bar made from cacao seeds that have been ground and roasted.


One of the deceptions perpetrated in brothers and sisters houses is what I call the great carob deception.  This is one deception that I didn't buy for one minute.  It took just one bite of a piece of a piece of carob and I knew instantly that it defininitely was not a chocolate substitute.  We were told that chocolate was poisonous and that carob could replace our cravings for chocolate.

It was quite entertaining to see the different concoctions that the leaders would come up with to make this substance more palatable.  The final recipe involved putting orange rinds, a lot of honey, a lot of lemon, and two cups of sawdust into a finished product that was basically carob particle board.  I actually saw people eat these bars.  Somehow eating things that tasted incredibly bad was a mark of some kind of spiritual attainment.  The worst part of the deal was that people that were trying to learn how to serve others would actually stick these things in your lunch whether you wanted them to or not.
It was very difficult explaining to other teachers at the lunch table at school, what the various substances in my lunch sack were.  The would watch with great incredulity as I would pull these nasty things out of my lunch sack.
"Are you going to eat that?" they would ask.  "No," I would say, "I have been trying to invent a fireproof coaster in case my coffee cup catches on fire."
I think the equation that some of these trainers operated on was that    more fiber = more spirituality
I remember worker's conferences where visitors from France or Africa would be in incredible pain because of all the fiber in the food.  One brother told me, "Paul it really hurts here," he pointed to his distended abdomen which was swollen from gas.  "Get used to it guy, your intestines will hurt all the time if you stay around here very long."
The Lord made animals like cows with five stomachs so that they could eat the fiber.  Then we can eat the cows and get the healthy benefits without the pain.  A lot of people used to say "No pain no gain."  My wise younger brother told me once "No pain no pain."

Conclusion
The Lord indentifies carob as pig food.
Luke 15:15-17 And he went and attached himself to one of the citizens of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he was longing to fill his stomach with the pods(I.e. of the carob tree, marginal reading NAS) that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him.  But when he came to his senses, he said, he said,"How many of my father's hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger!

We know the rest of the story that Christ told, the prodigal son came to his senses, came back to the Father, and in celebration of his return they killed the fatted calf.(Red meat)

1.Carob is not a chocolate substitute, The Creator identifies it as pig food.
2.You can come to your senses and eat red meat
3.Be set free and eat chocolate.

Paul Hohulin

[al Hartman]

Dictionary Definitions:

Carob-1.an evergreen tree of the Mediterranean area. 2. its long, edible, fleshy seed pod, used especially as fodder.

Fodder-coarse food for cattle, horses, sheep, etc., as cornstalks, hay, and straw.

Mudder-(slang) a racehorse that runs exceptionally well on a muddy track.
................................................................
     i hate to be the one to point this out, Paul, but your case against Carob is in direct conflict with our instruction to "Honor your Fodder and your Mudder..."

     Far be it from me to wax humorous on such a serious thread, but certain of your allegations need clarification:

     For example, you stated that the Lord made cows with five stomachs...  Cows only have four stomachs, Paul.  What you are mistakenly calling a fifth stomach is an "udder," and contains milk (for washing down carob).

     You also suggested that some trainers felt that "more fiber=more spirituality."  That wasn't it at all.  It was simply that more fiber=better elimination, thus removing the need for coffee enemas which=insomnia.

     Your statements that (1.) the Lord calls carob pig food, and (2.) carob is not a chocolate substitute are inconclusive because (a.) to my knowledge, the Lord doesn't speak of chocolate at all, and (b.) lots of people make pigs of themselves when eating chocolate.

     Again, you state that we can come to our senses and eat red meat.  But i point out that if carob is, as you claim, "pig food," it can be used to fatten up our pork, "the other white meat."

     Finally, in defense of the noble carob, i remind you that in tropical climes the carob pods grow to enormous size, sometimes as much as 12 feet in length.  The natives split the inner curve of the pod to remove the beans, then prop the slitted side open, invert the pod, and dry it in the sun.  They then coat the outside of the pod with resin or pitch, and it becomes a boat, in which to cruise river or sea.

     The moral is obvious:  
Chocolate may get you through the day, but
only carob can take you on a "carob bean cruise."

al Hartman




     

[BeckyW]

Another reason to check the bb regularly.  I hate to think I might have missed the great carob debate.
Laughter really is good for you, like medicine, Proverbs says.  So is chocolate.
Thanks, guys.
Becky

[Sebastian Andrew]

Perhaps you 2 gentlemen knew each other in a past life ?

[al Hartman]

Hey, Paul--  Who's he callin' "gentlemen"???

al

[MGov]

I think that Al has a day job, and then he stays up all night "raqing" his brain on how he can entertain us.

MG

[al Hartman]

There you go--  thinking again!!!

Why doesn't anyone ever take me seriously??!!

al  

P.S.--  i'm retired & have a sleep disorder.  
          What's your excuse, MGov???

[paul hohulin]

Al,
I don't know who he is talking about.  I do know that a proper gentleman would not eat carob.

Hohulin

[vernecarty]

Do we really Carob all this stuff...?
Verne

[4Him]

Do we really Carob all this stuff...?
Verne

Verne,
I just wanted to express my appreciation for your contributions to this carob discussion.  I think it is extremely important to know the position of real Carob-beings like yourself.  

[al Hartman]

     OK, i confess:  i really don't carob out it all that much...

     ...but i do carob it.

al

[MGov]

There you go--  thinking again!!!

Why doesn't anyone ever take me seriously??!!

al  

P.S.--  i'm retired & have a sleep disorder.  
          What's your excuse, MGov???

Good one.  I must confess I was 'tongue tied' with that come back.
I guess you're 15 years ahead of my time.  I have something to look forward to.

MG

[al Hartman]

     i know, MGov, you can't help looking at my posts,

and saying to yourself, "OH, if only i were 15 years older!"

al

[al Hartman]

     Getting back to the issue at hand, i posed this questiion on another thread, but it seems most appropriate here:

     The tree from which carob is harvested is known as the Locust.  Could one of the great plagues of Egypt have possibly been CAROB???


al

[al Hartman]

Dear patient and tolerant friends,

     The time has come for full disclosure:  i confess i am in wholehearted rebellion...    i now drink coffee and take carob enemas!
     i don't think my innards know the difference, but my tastebuds are the happiest they've been in years!
     (and i don't get thrown out of the coffee shops any more).