Marcia,
Haven't had a lot of time today for the BB
! But I definately wanted to weigh in on this one!
For a good example, I would like to state what transpired just before we left the assembly. This actually was one of the catalysts for my husbands' and my departure (kind of the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak!)
Let me paint the picture: We are at a "required" campout. I say "required", because we did not want to attend this campout and told the leadership this when asked to attend. We were told later that this was "the Lord's appointment" and to not attend was to be in disobedience to God. By the way, originally, this campout was announced in the meetings as an "invited event". You know.........."Dear saints, we're having a great campout and you're all invited, please see so and so if you are able to attend." Later, when the majority of "saints" didn't want to attend, it became a "required event", "the Lord's appointment". You see, there wasn't going to be a "good showing" of people from the Valley at the event where other assemblies were going to have numerous "saints" in attendance. This would look bad on the leadership, it now became "the Lord's appointment".
UGH!!!!!!!
This is the kind of stuff that began to make me sick about the assembly. And I shared this with my husband. I began to see the hypocrisy of this kind of behavior and resented it. It made me sick that some leading brother would take my husband out for coffee to discuss these kind of things and he would come home "seeing the light". He NOW knew what the "will of God" was for his family. He spoke with a leading brother! UGH!!!!!!!! I told my husband I was beginning to lose respect for him. If he had gotten down on his knees with a bible and the "Lord" told him this is what he wanted for his family, that I could respect. Some MAN telling my husband what the "will of God" was for his family made me sick. That is walking before man, not God!
I digress!
At this campout (remember, I'm there under duress), my husband and I are pulled aside to be entreated by a leading brothers wife. She begins to tell us of the things that are "again" wrong with our teenage daughter (nothing new.......it was a constant thing with this woman......always telling us what was wrong with our daughter......again....UGH!!!!!!!!!!) This wasn't the worst of it...........she then proceeds to entreat me for "producing bad fruit in my marriage." You see, I had begun taking a stand with my husband, as he was beginning to verbally abuse my daughter (his step-daughter) and me. I told him, gently, kindly, I would not stand for it. It was sin, and it wasn't right. (An aside - I have since spoken with our pastor and my biblical counselor about this issue and they both concurred that Matthew 18 would apply in this circumstance. Both my daughter and I are sisters in Christ with my husband, and if he is in "sin" we are to use Matthew 18 in order to restore him. Not to submit to his abuse!)
This woman proceeded to posture that I should simply take the abuse and that God would honor me. She clearly said that if I continued with him as I had in the past, that God would NOT HONOR that and that is why I was producing "bad fruit" in my marriage. The "bad fruit" was all the issues she was addressing with my teenage daughter.
This is the kind of stuff I disagree with in regards to how we were counseled as couples. There was nothing scriptural or a "biblical principal" that was being taught through this kind of counsel. It was the assemblies' way of controlling the couples.
This is the stuff that makes me sick about the assembly and their way of teaching regarding the marriage relationship. In the future, I may write a book.
I could fill pages with stories such as these with regards to their lack of "biblical principals" in the marriage relationship and in their parenting techniques.
Maybe more later..........
