Resolving the "Saint Louis Sister" fiasco.

[editor]

Dear friends:

It seems that we have gotten to the bottom of this fiasco, and I think we have some lessons to learn from it, including yours truly.

I am going to post a conversation between Mark Teater and Laurie, alias St. Louis Sister, where she confesses to what she did.

In hindsight, we can all see, (yes, including me) how our reactions could have been better.

Also, I think we need to always remember that things should be confirmed before we go public with them.

I am going to wait before posting this conversation, and after I do so, I will give a detailed apology as to how I erred in this matter.

Brent

[editor]

Dear Friends:

As some of you may have noticed, this latest issue, with St. Louis Sister, and the ensuing melee, got me really worked up.  My PM being shared really was not a big deal to me.

Here's what got me going, which will explain the apology I am about to give:

I knew after about page two of the Robinson Hurting flock thread, that this "sister" was a phony poster.  I also suspected, but didn't know, that she was getting info from a Robinson.  I can't tell you why I thought that, except that it was backwards.

I deduced that Sis, was probably a Robinson.  I did not suspect that she was actually manipulating a Robinson.  I post here an email I sent to Brian Tucker, who must be out of the country right now.

Hi Brian.
 
I need to find out the IP's of a few users on the BB.  Can you give me admin status again, for a short time?
 
Brent

also, one I sent to Mark Campbell

Hi Mark!
 
Can you check the IP's of :
 
 
Matt, Luke R., Paul R., Mark Teater, Daniel Teater, the Dodorico girl, and Saint Luis Sister to see if any are duplicates?
 
The IP's are the numbers at the bottom of the posts, that only the admin can see.  I think we have a bad case of impersonation and slander here.  I have asked Brian to give me Admin status again so I can check on it, but I don't think he is around.  He didn't answer my mail, which is not usual for him, unless he is out of town.
 
Brent

As you can see, I knew there was impersonation and slander, but notice how I didn't include Laurie?  I knew that Tony never sent, "numerous PM's" but as a result of where the whole conversation was going, and due to several emails that came to me, I wrongfully concluded that "Sis" was most likely a Robinson, Teater, Dodorico, or Matt.

I am apologizing, not for something I said, but for something I thought, which led me to be way too harsh on Mark and Daniel.  Yes, I suppose I was also arrogant, and it wouldn't be the first time.  Probably not the last either.  

I am apologizing for insinuating that "sis" might be Mark, Daniel, or someone they knew.  Some of you may not have caught this, but it is obvious to others.  By insinuating that one of these people were playing a game, I went past defending Tony Edwards, past taking the Teaters to task for slandering Tony, into slandering them myself.

I am asking that Mark, Daniel and Luke Robinson forgive me for insinuating that one of them started the whole mess. ( And Matt!  I just re-read this and realized i left Matt out.  Matt, please forgive me for including you in the insinuation.)

This is a case of being right, while being quite wrong.  I was right to defend Tony, and point out the false claims that were being made about his email.  However, I was totally wrong about deducing that "sis" was an inside job from the STL leadership's children.  Although I never said it in public, the assumption clouded my judgement, and influenced the way it was handled.

If there is anything I have left out, please bring it to my attention.

Brent

[MGov]

There are many valuable lessons to be learned from the STL sister 'experience'.  The Lord can cause that experience to work for good in our lives(Rom 8:28) if we humble ourselves and allow Him to.

Is is sometimes necessary for us to 'experience' something and learn from it, than to just do it because 'we were told'.  It's called 'growing pains', and 'the lessons learned from hard-knocks'.
It is also necessary for us to bear with those experiencing 'growing pains' (I am in no way sanctioning what STL sis did) and give them the 'space' to learn and grow from the mistakes they make.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.(1Co 13:7)

The end result has been positive, so Praise the Lord for that.
Our attitudes towards each other will have changed too, because of what we have experienced together.

1 Peter 3:8 To sum up, let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit;

Love and God bless to all,
M

[Mark C.]

To All!
  I would urge all those involved in this "fiasco" to read the entire thread and learn, as MGov has shared, from the whole affair.
  Brent has already come forward and apologized, which should demonstrate to all his sincerity and desire to be fair and honest.
  I stayed away from this discussion, with the exception of a feeble attempt to plead for civility on the BB in one post.  I was gone for the week and had difficulty understanding what was going on.
  My post re. "civility" did not cover those who lack conscience and are intent on doing evil.  I say," lack of conscience" but it would appear that she had some twinges of conscience after all that caused her to come clean.  I think many of us were praying and we can thank God for doing this.
  The lessons are obvious for those of us who were duped.  We need to follow the advice of the Who song, and "not get fooled again."  I would also like to suggest that we pray for "Laurie's" salvation.
   One thing special about this BB is that most of us here, despite our views on the Assembly, have a desire to honor our Lord Jesus Christ and to follow Him.  I also know that there are those who want to do this, but are confused as to what that might mean.  In our relationships we can never lose by being humble, honest with ourselves, and having a desire to build one another up.
   Mastery in argument and superior knowledge do not achieve the "building up" that I mentioned above.  Rather, it is a true care for our friends here that will communicate the gifts that God has given to us.
                             God Bless,  Mark

[editor]

regarding who mailed Laurie a copy of Tony's email:

I know who Tony sent mail to.  I also know that he only PM'd two people on this board.  One of them was Verne Carty, the other will remain nameless, for now.

Verne didn't send Laurie Tony's PM.  I have no idea if the other person did, but this other person did have email contact with Tony.

There is really nothing wrong with sharing someone's email, as long as it is OK by both parties.  The problem here is that Laurie manipulated someone, by impersonation and deceptive use of facts(Tony's health, upcoming wedding, etc.) and planted a huge inflamatory accusation right in the middle of it.  

The person/people on the receiving end of her little stunt didn't check it out first, and went on the offensive...and that brings us to the present.

The lesson to be learned is to always verify things with two or three witnesses.  Also, as in my case, we must be on guard about how we perceive someone, because it will cloud our judgement.

I knew that the whole thing was fabricated, and had very little truth behind it.  However, I incorrectly deduced that the people who were deceived, were actually corrupt.  This is something I warned others about early on in the thread, and is a mistake I have made before.  It seems that I didn't heed my own warning, and fell into the ditch I was warning others about!

On the other hand, it would seem that there were plenty of incorrect assumptions, bad judgement, and impulsive anger on the part of all.  We took sides, and fought with eachother, and the winner was Laurie.  She got to start a big fight, and watch the fireworks.

The loser was Tony, and I would expect that a more detailed clearing of his name by those who slandered it is in the works.  I know that this has already taken place in person, which is the important thing, but I do think a few more words should be said here, just to be perfectly clear.

Brent