WOUNDED PILGRIMS

[Mark C.]

                                      THE SMITH FAMILY CONTINUED

  The Father, in our Assembly family, was in a double bind situation where his wife was constantly bringing up all these contradictions between what they were told and the examples she saw to him.  On the other side, he was receiving pressure from his immediate superiors to reject his wife's "negativity" as being the work of the Devil!  It was his job to make sure that "the enemy did not get an advantage" and "cause divisions in the unity."

  "Brother" Smith had been firmly instructed that loyalty to God himself, which was practically expressed via submission to the group leaders, was the one and only guiding principle in trying to please God.  If he were to yield to any kind of hint of information that contradicted this directive he would not only be not serving God he would have been actively opposed to God!

  This kind of severe battle for his conscience was wearing him down: emotionally and physically, but there was no place to find relief.  In his regular life before the group, and his children, he had to try and hide this conflict and act like all was well.  However, there was still a little space in his mind that retained a portion of doubt re. what was being foisted upon him as "God's will," via GG and his Assembly.

  The children, meanwhile, were still too young to really pick-up on what was going on, though they did notice that the more favored children of the leaders had it much easier than they had.  They got the message that they were in a lower caste system, but since it was the only life they knew, just accepted it as the way life was.  This, however, would have an effect on how they viewed religious social structures in the future.

  The Smith parents just explained such inequities to their children as an opportunity to have "Christ formed in them", "to learn to be a servant", "ad nauseum"!!   In other words, to be like Christ is to allow other Christians to walk all over you and treat you like dirt, ignore their hypocrisy, and to become one who sides with the Devil if you dare to point these things out!

 Yes, it is not hard to see how these children might develop a reluctance to continue with anything that looks like this kind of social setting when they grow up.  It also may explain why some might have a great deal of anger over being so abused.  It's hard enough on kids being picked-on in a school type environment to not receive serious wounding, but when this treatment is received 24/7 to a family in the group it becomes a totalistic kind of exposure that most assuredly will have some consequences.

  One big question for the kids, and the parents as well, will be how to separate these false views that identify God as being essentially the same as the group and it's cause.

   This Assembly god:

1.) Could only be known via submission to the group and it's goals.

2.) Endorsed hypocrisy and supported a caste social system.

3.) Hated humanity and was bent on the destruction of one's individuality, natural sensitivities, any kind of good feelings associated with self (or even involving any part of life not associated with the group experience).  To be "nothing" while GG, etc, were everything was the true meaning of Assembly "holiness."



  We will get to a possible wider range of consequences, and hopefully some helpful answers, for our family in following posts.

                                                         God Bless,  Mark C.

   

[Oscar]

Mark,

You said:

3.) Hated humanity and was bent on the destruction of one's individuality, natural sensitivities, any kind of good feelings associated with self (or even involving any part of life not associated with the group experience).  To be "nothing" while GG, etc, were everything was the true meaning of Assembly "holiness."

GG used to manipulate me regularly with the question, "Brother, are you willing to be nothing?"

This, of course, put me in the position of either going the "spiritual" way and saying yes, or the "carnal" way, and saying no.

Finally two things dawned on me:

1. We are not called to be nothing.  We were created to be children of God, bearers of his image, and representatives of his kingdom.

2. The correct answer to the question was not "yes" or "no".  It was, "ARE YOU?"

Blessings,

Tom Maddux

[Mark C.]

Hi Tom!

  Yes, in retrospect I can think of some good things I could have and should have said at the time, but it took me some time after to realize how wrong GG was.  Then, there is the need to try and figure out what Jesus did mean when he told us to "take up our cross and follow him."

   We were so used to accepting the idea that this means death to self (ego), and that true Christian virtue is to stamp out any expression of individual personality, that there seemed no way out.  Years of this kind of stuff can really mess a person up and children raised in this environment  (as seen in the present story re. the Smith Family).

  I would like to recommend that readers here take advantage of the Reflections site and read the story by Betty's Niece and Nephew there presented.  This will provide some insight into where some of GG's and Betty's views came from and how they worked out in her own family (please read some of the other articles there as well).

  When we take the wrong notion that in order to please God we need to make oursleves nothing, kill our ego, etc. to be re-made into the image of Christ we have left Christian truth and fallen into the bondage of the Prophets of Baal who cut themselves in order to earn Baal's approval!

  Christ died to save me!  Why would he now want to kill me and turn me into a non-person?!  Does this glorify God?!!  This would be a slam against God's own character for it would describe a redemption that couldn't reclaim the dignity of our humanity.  However, God's recovery of our humanity is his goal and one which cost the blood of Christ.

  Part of this, our human dignity that was saved, is our individuality, ability to choose what is right (without being threatened by hellfire), deliverance from guilt about having normal human feelings (sadness, happiness, hope, desire to achieve goals, etc.).  This is the whole environment of grace that we are now in as his children and the healthy place that he wants us to enjoy!

  Well, sorry for the sermon, but it is Sunday and so these things can kind of escape from me at times!

                                                                       God Bless,  Mark C. 

[marden]

"When we take the wrong notion that in order to please God we need to make oursleves nothing, kill our ego, etc. to be re-made into the image of Christ we have left Christian truth and fallen into the bondage of the Prophets of Baal who cut themselves in order to earn Baal's approval!

 " Christ died to save me!  Why would he now want to kill me and turn me into a non-person?!  Does this glorify God?!!  This would be a slam against God's own character for it would describe a redemption that couldn't reclaim the dignity of our humanity.  However, God's recovery of our humanity is his goal and one which cost the blood of Christ."


Its a good reminder that Christ died to save me(Thank You Lord). I have learned by Gods grace that I am a person and can glorify God in my life daily and can lead my family to glorify God also.



Mark thanks for the "sermon " its a good reminder

[Margaret]

Mark, I hope you continue the story of the Smith family with more anecdotes of the child training. I think seeing it out there fictionalized in black and white may help some parents recognize the problems with it.

[Mark C.]

Hello Margaret and Jay!

  I just got back from a week's vacation (we took the mule ride down the Grand Canyon and boy is my bottom sore!) and so have been away from the BB for a little bit.

  I will get back to the "Smith family story" by next weekend.  I apologize for having large time gaps, as I know this makes it difficult to follow.  As you stated Maragaret, it is my hope that these kind of bio's will illustrate past Assembly practices, that we were unwittingly involved with, in a manner that is helpful for former members.

  As to your request for info. re. "mother-heart" from another thread:  Sindy long ago threw out all the notes that document the use of this word, and others, though many years ago she did send this info. to a woman working at CAN (which was put out of business by Scientology).

  She remembers Betty, yourself, and Ginger using this phrase in instructing Assembly mothers re. child training.  The way "mother-heart" was used, as she recalls, was in not allowing affection for one's child to get in the way of "dealing" with "rebellion."

  Mat training, as an example, set the child into an opportunity for the child to exhibit rebellion against the command to remain, and sit quietly, in a small space for a couple of hours.  When the child made noise or tried to move off the mat (this was done with very young children) it would be considered "mother-heart" to not swat the child until you force their compliance.

  Mothers were told that there were "no excuses" and to make any would be to also exhibit "mother-heart."  All non-compliance was rebellion, and it was always the Mother's fault!  Some mothers would get very angry with their children for making them look bad in the meetings and also the dads would be angry with the mom for not keeping the kids in line!  It was not fun being a mom in the Assembly, unless you had a naturally compliant and quiet child, as she was always left holding the bag if her toddler was difficult.

 Jay:  I am glad that you are doing so well now and that your feet are firmly planted in the grace of God!  Thanks for posting and for your encouraging comments!

                                                                    God Bless,  Mark C.

[marden]

 I will get back to the "Smith family story" by next weekend.  I apologize for having large time gaps, as I know this makes it difficult to follow.  As you stated Maragaret, it is my hope that these kind of bio's will illustrate past Assembly practices, that we were unwittingly involved with, in a manner that is helpful for former members.



In alot of ways the "smith story" is helpful to me even though I did not have children while in the assembly. However I saw many families and seeing those families and seeing the smith story puts a lost into perspective now that I have a toddler. So I look forward to the next post.

j

[Mark C.]

                                      THE SMITH FAMILY CONTINUED


   I have been relating a story (a fictionalized account based on true Assembly experiences of a family) that seeks to understand the pressures that former Assembly members had in raising children in the group and consequences as a result.

   What makes it hard for the kids:

   The Assembly was not unique in it's emphasis re. the need for discipline in the lives of children as a means to develop good Christian disciples.  The bible itself teaches, "spare the rod and spoil the child", etc.  Much could be said as to how to interpret these kind of verses, but our consideration re. the Assembly is not an argument between the correct application of discipline, or other techniques, but has to do with how the Assembly created a means of discipline that intended to create cult members vs. Christ followers.

  The Smith's realized that the most important aspect of "child training" was how the child performed in the public meetings.  Every bit of individualism was to be strictly resisited and subjected to the highest goal---- the advancement of the group goals in support of GG's ministry.

   As with the adult members, this produced basically two different kinds of personalities:
1.) The compliant.

2.) The rebellious.

  To those children willing to submit themselves to authority without question there were rewards, for those who dared to challenge they would have to face being shamed by the harshest of means.

  The older son of the Smith's was the latter of the two personalities above.  As he began his high school years he began to read Christian theology that differed from GG's.  When he began to try and talk about these different teachings he was told, "it's okay to hold these different thoughts to yourself, but you are forbidden to talk about it to others."  The Smith father had lost the respect of his son, because his son recognized that the Dad, in his discussions with his son, was only trying to toe the Assembly doctrinal line.

   Another "leading brother" was assigned to have private talks to see if he could "win" this boy back into the Assembly accepted line of thought.  When this failed he was placed in a "brothers house" where he was to be "trained" to "go the way of the cross." (practically, "to go the way of the cross", meant to be compliant to Assembly authoritarian rule in ones life.)

  He was told that he must avoid all other theological reading and keep only to reading the Bible.  He was shamed in public meetings when GG, and other leading bros., would get up and preach about the evil of Christian theology that differed from approved GG teaching.  Everyone knew who was the object of these messages, especially the Smith boy.

  Of course, the boy tried to hold in all his bad feelings over being treated in such an unfair and humiliating manner, but this only caused the leaders to put more pressure on him.  He was further shamed in "house meetings" and constantly reminded that his reactions to his "discipline" was proof that he was not suffering righteously, but had "deeper issues in his life."

  Just like in his early "mat training" his present discipline made certain assumptions and had one goal:

1.) The Assumptions:
      a. Compliant performance is the most important character accomplishment. The stamping out of individualistic thought and any free choice (after all, if a child can learn to think independently and choose freely they may turn out to leave our control. All of this is based on the fearful assumption that our human person must be killed or we will not be accepted by God and die a failure).

      b. Perfect performance is the way to succeed with God, in the family, in life. (what goes on inside ones own thoughts and feelings must be put to death).  Failure or victory is totally based on the ability of the individual to make themselves into the compliant group member.

 2.) The goal:

    Again, the goal is only to "humbly submit to God" through putting to death ones own individual thoughts and feelings and support GG's ministry in complete blind loyalty!  

    If you were basically compliant to the goal above you could have tremendous moral failures and still retain your member status in good standing.  As an example, one brother had a continual struggle with attending nude bars (where he drank as well as watched) and escaped the same kind of shame that was attributed to the Smith son for reading Christian theology that differed from GG teaching (this theology, btw, was very orthodox while GG teaching was, in some areas, crossed the line into false and dangerous).

   Why was this?  The Smith son's theology was a threat to GG's abusive control over the members lives, while the compliant moral failure was not.  What do you think God's view of this kind of value system might be?   

    How about the compliant child?  I will take this up in the next post.

                                                          God Bless,  Mark C. 

 

[Mark C.]

                                                THE SMITH FAMILY CONTINUED

  The daughter in our Assembly Smith family differed from her older more "rebellious" brother, in that she only wanted to avoid trouble.  Her "mat training" quickly formed in her the knowledge that compliance led to the absence of painful consequences.

  Some would argue that this lesson above is a good one for children to learn. "Who wants arrogant little monsters who control the entire family with their fits, demands, etc?"  Again, my argument here is not to debate different forms of child rearing techiniques in an effort to paint the Assembly as just "too strict" in their discipline methods for children.  Children do need boundaries, correction, and the ability to learn to submit their own wills to true authority.

  In the Assembly system it was not about "strict" or "lenient", or even about learning to submit to God, but about breaking any resistance to the authority of the group in the child's life.  The key word in the last sentence is the one in bold type---- BREAKING------. God never intends to break our will, rather he desires to win our hearts via his loving grace.

  But first, I must try and explain what it means to "break" vs. "win", and I will try to do so via another example from our Smith family illustration.

  Into the Smith family Assembly came a new single mother family situation.  This single mother was recently saved and it was decided by the leaders that she needed to live with another family who had a father present (even though this family had no children) and this father was put in charge of discipline for the little one year old daughter of the single mom.

   This little girl came from few demands to very high demand situation, and of course, this led to many acts of "rebellion" at the dinner table, in the meetings, etc.  This little girl was at the bottom of the pecking order and everybody in that house was always on her case in an effort to bring her into conformity.

   As she grew up in the group she was constantly disciplined for any expression of a will not submitted to all those above her.  Finally, not being able to fight for her own personal freedom in the smallest of things, she just gave up!  She learned to not voice any of her objections, nor to resist commands that were given her; it was just a whole lot easier that way.

   However, she retreated into herself and developed a very hardened attitude toward a god/authority that seeminly hated her as she was.  On the outside now quiet and submissive, but in her heart a growing desire to escape to freedom. 

   This false kind of "submission" to God, and his authority in the family/group, broke her will to resist the forces that attempted to make her compliant, but it produced the very opposite that the methods had promised: a willing giving of ones life to God.

   The "rebellious" Smith son went on to freedom and a loving pursuit of God while this "compliant" little girl ran as fast as she could away from the pain of her imprisoned soul.  It was very difficult for this girl, however, even after leaving, as she was extremely sensitive to any criticism, often despondent over her view of self, and desperate to win the love and acceptance of others----- at almost any cost!

   Whenever she heard anyone talking to her about God, church, or the bible she had such an inner reaction of revulsion she sometimes would get physically ill---- there was nothing associated with these three things above that had anything but very negative memories for her.  Meanwhile, her association with her Mom also made her very angry, though her Mom had now also left the group.  This was true even though her Mother was very remorseful and acknowledged her past mistakes in raising her child.

  What can be done to help those like this now young woman recover from this past and find a God that she never knew existed?  In the next post I will try and present some of her experiences, post Assembly, and her responses to them.  I hope that this will help us to learn how to reach out a helping hand to those in a similar situation.  It is not just the children thus raised in the group whose wills' were broken, but all of us may be dealing with similar issues as adults who also were "conformed into the image" of GG via guilt, shame, (these are more powerful than physical discipline) and the breaking of the will by the same.

   Not wanting to leave this post with everyone in feelings of despair, please understand that for those in such circumstances, whom do make the discovery of the true God and his very great loving kindness, there is not only an opportunity for wonderful healing, but a beautiful blossoming of this former very repressed person.  Such will develop a wonderful gift of insight and sensitivity to what all humans share (regardless if they come from a similar past as they have experienced in a cult) and a very sharp eye in detecting those who falsely use religious authority to dominate and abuse others.  These individuals will fulfill a very important and essential function in God's purposes as a check-and-balance via both mind and heart in the community that names the name of Christ.

                                                          God Bless,  Mark C.

[Oscar]

Folks,

Here is a link to an excellent article on Psychological mind control methods.  I think most of us will recognize them.

http://www.factnet.org/coercivemindcontrol.html

Blessings,

Thomas Maddux

[Mark C.]

                                      THE SMITH FAMILY CONTINUED


            (Very good link Tom.  I recommend a consideration of some of the other articles at this site as well.)

         Why is it worth the effort to look at Assembly child training techniques now that most of these children are grown up and the Assembly pretty much old news? 

          After all, some children have come from horrendous environments and gone on to do just fine in their adult lives.  I think of the NFL football player, as an example, who was born in the ghetto to a crack addicted prostitue mother and yet was able to raise his younger sister-- going on to a healthy productive life.

   To be "wounded" by an abusive childhood does not mean a destiny of eternal victimhood.

              Why is it important to have the discussion then?

   1.) The abused children need to be relieved of the guilt that might still be weighing them down as a result of the false use of shame based child training techniques, double standards, etc..  Also, since this system of child rearing supposedly was "from God" the child may have great difficulty as to making a positive connection to faith in the true God.

   2.) The Assembly parent who was involved in this kind of training is probably the most needy of the two; especially if they cannot honestly admit what their involvement was in this evil system.  These parents must go back and understand their participation for their own good, as well as their now grown kids.

   Please understand, (I have stressed this point in the past) the problem with Assembly child rearing was not strict vs. lenient; rather what made it at the core in error was using coercion to force compliance to the group's control---- in other words, loyal Assembly members were to be produced above and beyond any other goal.  This forced the child not only to deny the obvious hypocrisy that he saw in those around him, but to be punished when they pointed it out!  When a child simply pointed out the truth they were slapped down instantly with the charge of being "negative", or of "allowing room for the Enemy." 

  Our Smith daughter, the compliant one, learned very early that "honesty", most certainly was not, "the best policy" as she was growing up.  There were brothers living in their house most of the time that she was growing up.  They had a lot of fun times playing with the brothers, but one brother, when she was about 12, "took liberties with her" and she was too afraid to report what had happened (though she knew what he did was very wrong).

  Indeed, she held these things to herself for many years and it didn't come out until years later after the Smith family had left the group.  In retrospect, we do know that her Assembly training had correctly prepared her to keep silence on the issue; for when it finally did come out that she had been molested the Assembly simply covered up the issue and discounted the Smith family's claim, even though the bro. admitted that he had indeed done this!  How could the Assembly do this?!  The Smith's had left the group and therefore became non-persons who were now worthless in God's eyes and not even worthy of an apology!!

  When honesty (justice) is called bad, and covering up the truth "in service to God" is called good, an environment for the child is created that is worse then being raised in a ghetto by a crack prostitute mother!  One only need to look to what is being raised via such a child raising environment in the religion of Islam.  At least the child with the crack addicted mom is not being told that his mom's behavior is good and that his rejection of it is evil.

  The Smith girl wrestled quietly within herself for years with the thought that she was to blame for this brother's evil act toward her, and fear of making it public, as this would violate the "no negative talk" rule.  Why would she react like this?  She knew that if she did not comply with the above she would end up, like her brother, being forced out of the group and her family.

  There will be those that respond to this with the comment that, "this is an unusual situation, and not the norm in the group, or that they were unaware that this kind of thing was going on."  They might also say, "that their children were not raised like this and that the group was a positive experience for them."

  In any society/group this will be true.  In Nazi Germany one could locate good healthy families who raised their families in a kind of ignorant bliss to all that was going on around them.  I highlighted "ignorant bliss" because that is what it would have been to this German family at this time.  One truly would have to be willfully ignorant to not notice what was happening in both Nazi Germany and in the Assembly. 

  It is not a sign of good character to be able to ignore evil just because things are going fine at our house.  This, "all was good for me" saying would be situational ethics of the highest order, but it is a comment that I have often heard from former members.  Christian character demands human sensitivity to care about and for my brother or sister in Christ.

  When a former member reacts strongly against criticsm of the group it demonstrates pretty clearly where they are at.  Trying to sweep all these issues of wrong under the rug of denial eventually will lead to a pretty tall and wide rug in ones soul that won't leave much room for the "love, joy, peace, etc." that the Holy Spirit has for us.
 
                                                                        God Bless,  Mark C.


           

[Mark C.]

                                            THE SMITH FAMILY CONTINUED


     I need to go back now to our Assembly father Mr. Smith and to the time when he finally decided it was time to leave the group.  He was deeply conflicted between his belief that the Assembly was "of God" and all the evidence displayed before his eyes that contradicted this former conviction.

  All of these "little" nagging doubts that piled up over the years finally culminated in a breaking down of the false idealism that the Assembly was a place of high spirituality and truly represented the cutting edge of the divine purpose.

  The collapse of this false dream world that Brother Smith lived in dropped him into the stark reality that he had wasted decades of his life in what was basically a hoax created to advance the self centered goals of George Geftakys, and his circle of "Workers."

  He had, therefore, some very difficult issues to figure out or risk becoming a practical agnostic, or worse!

1.) What of his experience in the Asssembly was truly of God and what was fraud?

   Our Brother Smith had lived the pipe dream that GG had created in his mind that we have direct access to God if we know the secret keys to open all the doors.  GG taught that he had mastered these secrets and for the price of fidelity to his "vision" you too could share the wonderful benefits!

   Just being a Christian, or a simple believer, was not enough to achieve "face-to-face" access to God---- no, one must be loyal to "God's purpose" in the group.

   Now, for Brother Smith, this dream of direct experiences with God that had sustained his emotional life were absent.  He was, for all intents and purposes, without direction in his life.  He was so used to interpretating "God's Spirit" as an inner confirmination of feeling clean, feeling peace, feeling God's smile due to his Assembly fidelity, that he was very confused as to what to do now.

   His Wife and daughter (the Son had already left) picked up on this Father's lost sense of direction and it took away the former famiy cohesion that had existed while in the group.  The "Vision" had been the glue that held them together and caused them to press forward.  Some would contend this was very good for a family, as there were no divorces among faithful members and the kids were held accountable to a high standard of behavior.

   However, all of this masked what was really going on in the souls of these families, and when they left the group sometimes the real inner dynamics burst forth with a terrible resulting dissolution of the family unit. 

    The Assembly cult like mechanism that took away the ability of individuals to make choices for themselves locked members into immaturity in their lives of faith, family, and their interaction with the world at large.

  The Smith daughter learned this and as a result was afraid to make any choices.  She had become dependant on someone, other then herself, telling her what to do and making her do it.  Her unfortunate learned attitude was that she was defective on her own and that God thought that she was, at the core, selfish to want things like marriage, a good career, or even just a time of pleasure.  She began to find solace in food and as a result gained a good deal of weight.

  Unable to take action (her will to act had been for all intents and purposes been broken) she was passive in face of daily life.  To wander past the edge of her emotional "mat" restrictions were sure to mean a strong and painful whack to the behind that she had learned she could not succeed in resisting.  Her brother had overcome the above conforming influences and escaped, but what he was able to escape broke her down!

   We will continue her story in the next post and how she was able to escape her Assembly raising.

                                                    God Bless,  Mark C.

[Joe Sperling]

Mark--

Thanks for your continuing thread. I wanted to share something that really hit me yesterday, as it has many times before, and it is really a very simple thought. When the devil tempted Adam and Eve in the garden, his main attack was to bring into question the character of God. If he can get someone to believe wrong things about God he can then deceive them quite easily. He brought into question the verity of God's word, and suggested that God had ulterior motives for not allowing them to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

I heard this verse quoted yesterday: "For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more"(Heb. 8:12). Many times I think many of us believe God has "covered" our sin, but somehow is remembering it, and may possibly recall it one day upon us. But this verse says that God has promised that he will "remember our sins no more". The blood of Christ does not simply cover our sins, but like an acid dissolves and removes our sins into his forgetfulness forever. He has chosen to forget, and "does not reward us according to our iniquities"(Ps 103).

This brings up the "consequences" so many were made to do in response to any "sin", either real or imagined in the Assembly. Like the Catholic Church, with it's "penance", so the Assembly truly had it's own way of "working off" ones failures and sins. And what perception of God does this produce in the offender? It produces a perception that God does not forget or forgive according to his word, but calls for works to be done before he will recognize and forgive an offender. "Has God said he will forgive and forget your sins?" asks our enemy, "then why are you forced to do "consequences" for sin or failure in your life?"    "Has Jesus said in his father's house are many mansions and he is going to prepare a place for you? Then why do you hear constantly that there is a chance you may miss out and never get there?" says the enemy. This implies of course God's Word cannot be trusted..He may say one thing, but he really means another.

Every cult, and every group that alters the Gospel of God, is also altering the true perception, and the true reality of the Lord according to his Word. Every leader of these groups says along with that Old Serpent "Has God said...?  No--here is what God REALLY said..." and by so doing calls into question the very Grace and graciousness of God. When I look back at those days (and times now when I can fall into deception in my own heart) I realize how warped my perception of the Good Shepherd was, and still can be, if I don't read the Word and stand on what it says alone. It's very simple, but how horrible it is when one moves from "Jesus loves me" to "Jesus loves me if.."

[Mark C.]

Thanks Joe,

  I trust you are, as well as everyone else, having a most wonderful Christmas!!!

    Your insights re. the true nature of God vs. the false one we were fed in the Assembly clearly shows what our "Smith family" most needs to discover in working their way out of the mess they are in.  Knowing the true God that gently lifts the broken and lovingly brings healing--- inspite of the fact that it was through our own errrors that led to that damage---- is the only true way that can bring recovery to former members.

   Some, however, will protest our suggestion that the Assembly promoted the view of a false Gospel and/or the damaging consequences that will result following such a path as I describe it in my Smith family.  They might say: "I remember hearing the clear gospel of grace and all that GG was trying to do was to motivate believers to a sincere pursuit of God." "Besides", they might say, "what's worse, struggling to overcome sin in my life or living the shallow life of easy believism that abounds in churches around us?"

   One reason that I tell these little composite stories (all based on real life experiences in the group) is that I hope a picture will be worth a thousand words of theological argument.  What I mean by this is if we ask a former member, "what is the Gospel of Grace and what is God's nature like?"-- we may get the correct answer and an angry rejection of any notion that they are in error as a result.  However, when we see how certain belief systems work out in a real life it helps us to finally get the point that there was something indeed amiss in our Assembly discipleship training.

  Yes, some (like the Smith Son) are able to escape the erroneous system, and in doing so turn their bad start into a very positive end.  These can have very little patience with those of us who have difficulty working through these things (like the Smith Daughter).

 So, there is something to learn for everyone from our past shared experiences in the group:

1.) For the one who never allowed their will to be broken (as in the Smith Son). He needs to understand that those like his sister can't just "will" their way out of their broken lives.  He needs to learn how to love and truly help such as these.

2.) For those like this Smith girl.   She needs to learn (and she will by the time I finish my story) how to "live" in the healthy freedom that God wants her to have. 

 3.) For those who still continue on in existing groups designed by GG. These people are in the most difficult of situations.  God in his mercy has knocked very earnestly at the door of these groups trying to get their attention, but for some reason they have great difficulty in hearing that knock.

                 God's very best blessing to all of the above!    Mark C.   

[Mark C.]

                                        SMITH FAMILY CONTINUED


      As our story of the Smith Family continues I would like to kind of pull back and look at where they all are at this point.  The Dad has lost his former respect as the big spiritual giant of the family and now is just a regular ol' person.  Nobody looks up to him anymore, and this not only includes a lack of group recognition in the church they now go to, but even in his own family!

   In the Assembly, brother Smith had a place of respect and honor; kind of like the Pharisees had earned via their allegiance to the Jewish religious leaders.  These leaders from Christ' time were threatened by Jesus' words and feared losing this place that they had risen to in the community.

  The Assembly idea that more than any other group they had learned to "put to death self" was rather ironic in reality because some of these brothers were totally helpless in the face of huge raging egos!  The desire to earn a place of honor and respect took total control of every other part of their being and drove them forward.  Some of these brothers have continued on in the groups that are still in operation, sans GG's actual presence, because of what the group provides for their own hunger for this place of honor and respect.

  The Smith Mom had a different struggle.  She had trained her children with the allusion that perfect training will lead to perfect children.  All her hope had been placed in her faithful devotion to and execution of the correct procedures that would produce the promised end of perfected followers of Christ.  The Bible, she believed, taught that God would reward her faithfulness with her children in a manner similar to training animals.  When the son "rebelled," and now the daughter being in a state of depression, she was also brought to a place of confusion, guilt, and wondering what to do now!  She had no safe place of hope and comfort to reside in.

  The Smith daughter was afraid to get involved with people and spent most of her time alone in her room reading magazines and eating snacks.  This was her safe place where she could escape from the terrible risks that lurked outside in the world.

   At this time our Smith daughter got on the family computer and discovered a website where former members of the Assembly talked to one another about issues of interest to them as former GG followers.  She was too afraid to post, but she, with great eagerness, discovered that she was not alone in her feelings of depression.

   This revelation, that she was not the only one in the world with this state of affairs, though it didn't show the way out, was a tremendous relief!  She also made the discovery that the Assembly view of God was not the only legitimate one available to her.  She had been totally alone in her condition; her Dad, Mom, and even her Brother didn't understand her and were unable to show any sympathy for her plight. 

   This girl desperately needed a friend---- her Dad would preach to her, her Mother would scold her, and her Brother thought her lacking in any rational thought.  She now began to form a different view of who God was that was opposed to this understanding received from her family. 

    For the first time in her life she decided to make her own independent choice as to what she was going to believe.  Her parents were shocked when the daughter decided that it was okay for her to have her own opinions and to disagree with them.  After years of suppression of her personality her opinion expressed itself in some rather angry outbursts of definance at times, and the Smith daughter's former easy compliant nature was replaced with a force never seen before.

   It would make for a happy ending if I said that the Smith girl found that friend who could lend her the empathic ear and the compassionate lifting she so needed, but this was not to be (at least at present) for all she had was the computer connection where she could read the thougts of others.  She did begin to write privately her own intimate thoughts at this time and this seemed to bring her great comfort.

   She even wrote a poem and decided to post it for others to read.  It was one of the most beautiful and sensitive pieces of writing that I have read (though I doubt she realized how good it was).  Through this new open door in her soul she discovered that God was a person, who like her in her own humanity, loved and wanted her to love Him.

  Her brother took her to task for this "sloppy agoppy" approach to faith in God deriding it as being purely emotional and lacking in objective theological basis for faith.  This view of her brother had no appeal to her at all, for it seemed to reinforce the cold distance from God her old life had.  Her brother warned her she could fall into all kinds of deceptions due to her subjective leanings.

  However valid his warnings were (and she had not the intellectual means to argue with her brother) her soul had been brought back to life and she had joy for the first time.  This young lady was not going to trade that joy for some kind of austere view of a very distant God who remained aloof and uncaring for how she felt.

   As we continue, we will consider her above situation and how the family worked out some of their problems as well.

                                 Merry Christmas,           God Bless,  Mark C.
 ps--- Maybe by next Christmas the Smith's will be wishing us a Merry Christmas as well