Hi Everyone!
Just before I left for the Grand Canyon Brent made some excellent challenges as regards the nature of this BB. I can't find the thread with that discussion on it and so will try to recall and respond here.
Re. the issue of " the act of considering our past in the Assembly as being a poisonous experience, vs. a healing one." This indeed can be a danger, as can preoccupation with one's perception of being a victim of abuse. As Joe and Sondra said on another thread it is a matter of
"balance." For each individual recovery from our fringe church past will be different. Some, like Brent, have easily found their footing and are doing well, while others have great difficulty.
It is my contention, and the premise of the title of this thread, that actual damage was done to former members spiritual and psychological well being from their Assembly past. The degree of that damage will be based on the intensity of their involvement. Recovery has nothing to do with intelligence or strength of will, and is a more complex issue for some.
How this happened to us must be understood, or we can suffer certain negative consequences:
1.) A lack of confidence in one's faith in Christ: This does not mean that I don't have an orthodox belief in God, but no longer trust my own ability to discern what is true re. my faith; a confusion of thought and feeling that has to be worked out.
These need to discover how to be "strong in the faith" again, and talking with former members about what helped them can be very helpful. Some of these, sadly, will not do this and just fade away into a quiet despair.
It is for these that my heart breaks, and for whom I hope may read here and find help.
2.)
Former members of cults and fringe groups can, on the other hand, have a tendency to be extreme (a key word in re. to recovering "balance"). Some of these can try and look for another "cause" to latch onto that fills them with the same intensity that they felt while in their past group.
These exhibit an opposite behavior to those in the first category. They consider themselves "
strong" and have no patience with those that are in the first category. This can include an intolerance of those whose views do not agree with their own, whether political, philosophical, or Biblical.
They have strongly held opinions and react with vehemence against those that they feel are challenging their views. If the BB does not go their way they may leave the BB ( sometimes only to return again), attack those they disagree with personally, but generally can't tolerate disagreement with their own views.
I think an honest reading of this BB can provide an abundance of evidence for the above, and I will admit that this is something that I have been slow to be aware of in myself. It has only been via the give-and-take of BB's that I have learned this about myself and one of the benefits of participation.
Christians must be intolerant re. unrepentant sin and heresy, but be very patient in other areas, and it is this balance that has been thrown so very out-of-whack by our former religious experiences.
It is not "GG's evil treatment of us" per se, that is the issue here, nor is this particularly what we need to recover from, but what decades of involvement in a false religious system
"made" us into.
My view of the term
"wounded" is not a desire to perpetuate an eternal victim status, rather it means an opportunity to learn from the errors of the past. To be wounded is not to be dead, and this means an opportunity to heal, but it also acknowledges that I have been deeply effected by submission/deception to powerful abusive forces.
There are former members who refuse to admit that the Assembly was harmful in any way and still provides "God's one true church" and for them it is absolutely essential that they understand the toxic system that they lived in and supported for so many years.
I have no doubt that some of these may poke in and read from time to time. There is hope for recovery of these if they become willing to honestly reflect on the group and their participation in it.
Taking responsibility for one's own past errors and getting on with facing the future with a renewed resolve is the healthy goal of which I heartily endorse.
However, whether we like it or not, this was a dysfunctional period of our lives that deeply influenced our spiritual and psychological personalities. Decades of personal dishonesty, submission to abusive control, etc. can not be without any result in our present lives.
For my recovery it was important to talk about these things, and I think for some others it will be too. If you don't see the value in the discussion then feel free to talk about other things. The BB is made up of many different contributions and it will be what these posters make of it.
God Bless, Mark C.
