WOUNDED PILGRIMS

[Mark C.]

                    ANITA'S STORY CONTINUED

    ( A short aside to explain why I post in a flurry and then am gone for a week:  I am often on the road during the week and can only use the computer on the weekends.  I apologize for the multiple postings, as I know they can become annoying.)

     As I was saying in the last post, Anita would never consider that her experience with the group was "abusive" on any level: physical, psychological, or spiritual.

   She was fully accepted into the "family" that the group provided and orientation of the group was designed to "make members into true followers of Jesus Christ."  The bible was constantly referenced, good character was supported, and members were watched over------ or was it?

  The reason many miss a proper evaluation of what the Assembly was all about was because it's deceptive methods were so subtle.

  1.) The highest moral value in the Assembly was loyalty to the group, not to Jesus Christ.
 
      Yes, I can prove this with many mutiple examples:

  A brother often visiting strip clubs, taking new brothers out for a drink, etc. is not sanctioned for his behavior, rather is fully accepted by the group because of his deep loyalty-- all is forgiven, though he continues to repeat this behavior.

  A brother who molests a young girl, and admits it, has his behavior quickly forgiven and covered up because he is a very devoted member of the group.  Nothing is made right with the molested child because the parents left the group, and therefore are no longer worthy of consideration!  The brother is not only forgiven, but given a wonderful opportunity to serve God in the group--- a situation of service that many other members longed to be able to do as well.

  A brother who gets up and gives ministry about following the Lord, vs. a false sense of unity found in a herd mentality is sanctioned and eventually driven out of the group.  This brother is branded as a "liar, divisive, of the devil, etc."

   What these few examples show are that the actual meaning of "God" was subtlely changed to mean "the Assembly" and so Anita's faith and devotion was only nominally directed toward God himself, being artfully directed to a false center.

  "Okay," some may say, "that is a description of deception, but not abuse.  How do you say that Anita was a victim of abuse then?"

  2.)  Anita was made into a religious phony, and her real needs were never addressed by the group.

  Instead of really solving Anita's true need to learn a life of freedom in Christ the Assembly taught her to cover-up her inner struggles and to adopt a role as a performer.

   The Assembly's abuse mainly consisted of heaping guilt on her for her normal desires to be married and have a family.  All such longings were selfish, and her "real need" was to find that the "Lord was enough."

   So, Anita just began to deny that these desires were even there; leading to a splitting of her personality into "the private" and "the public."  She tried to be the perfect sister that some brother eventually would want to marry, though this would never be admitted.

  After decades of this kind of avoiding reality and phony religious performance, deep changes are formed in the soul.  Constantly denying what is really going on in our hearts' can cause us to believe our own lies, and this can be very painful for us to admit.

  Anita is running from that pain, and she is fearful of what might happen if she is discovered for the real weak sinner that she is.  Why? She believes that God hates that failing weakling she denies, but loves the "Overcomer" that she pretends to be!

1.) If I could talk again to Anita I would explain that the false holiness merit oriented message of the Assembly created that unhealthy split in her soul.

2.) That looking good for the group and being afraid to honestly discuss her needs is the opposite of what God wants for her life.

3.) That as painful as it may be, she must honestly reflect on her past in the group.

4.) That there will be an immense benefit to her life for doing the above, and that it will become a blessing to those that she runs into as well.

[u]5.) That God has a special place in His heart for little ones' who are manipulated in the name of God and that he longs to bring sweet assurance to your wounded soul!![/u]

                                                 God Bless,  Mark C.

[Mark C.]

                       IRVING'S STORY
                
   Irv was a very serious brother, I don't ever remember seeing him smile, though I'm sure he must have. When he spoke to you there was a feeling that he did not quite approve of you.
   I remember going out into the park to witness and watching in amazement as he stood at the end of row of picnic tables, where a family was having a reuinion, and open-air preaching to them!

   It was astonishing to watch him preach his hell fire and brimstone message, while those seated continued to eat and pretended to ignore him!  Irv didn't seem to care how the listeners responded, because what was important was his faithful presentation of the "Gospel", though I didn't hear much good news in his preaching.
  I remember thinking to myself, "that isn't right", but was afraid to address the issue for fear that I would be lambasted for making my Gospel preaching too "man centered."  My method of witnessing certainly was different than Irv's and there was no way I was going to try his method.

   Irv wasn't really "made" by the Assembly, as he came in with the kind of personality that I described above.  He had a quality that the group characterized as "boldness", but that's all he brought to his "contribution to the ministry."  
  Irv was useful to the group: in that he was loyal, reliable, and always followed the leaders direction.  

 Here's an example of how he saw things as described by his practical application from a chapter summary meeting.
   The chapter being considered was where Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5) were judged by God.  Irv's application came from the portion of that passage where "the young men carried the dead out the door."  Irv saw that he should be available,like these young men, to serve God in any situation that should arise in the Assembly meetings

   Even among the Assembled faithful a few groans were noticable as they heard Irv share his "practical application."
   His response to such groans would be a superior kind of smug attitude against what he viewed as a "weak" commitment to God.
   Irv did not like people and they did not like him, but he was good at business and was able to succeed in this world nonetheless.  His cold kind of efficient view of life allowed him to ignore all the emotional distractions and made decisions very simple for him.

   Irv was a very shallow one dimensional kind of person, and he stayed this way throughout his decades long involvement in the group.

   How was the group abusive in it's treatment of Irv then?

    This is a good question; Irv seemed to be the very same person coming in and going out of the group.  He may not stand at the end of a bunch of picnic tables and shout out fire and brimstone now, but the only reason he is not is because he is not now in a group that encourages this.

   The reason the Assembly was abusive was because it allowed Irv to continue in this shallow expression of "life in Christ" and did not provide a healthy environment for growth.

   Allowing Irv to continue a cold and calculating kind of life, that was absent any kind of humaness, was ultimately a very cruel act towards Irv ever becoming what God would like him to become.

   Though Irv was a no nonsense kind of guy, his view of spiriituality as cold indifference to the feelings of others is not a biblical description of a godly person.

   "Wait Mark," some may say at this point, "true love sets aside our concerns for peoples emotional reactions and proclaims the cold stoned truth inspite of the listeners reactions!"

   This is a true princple, but only a very shallow understanding of Christian spirituality applies this principle in a knee jerk kind of automatic reaction in all situations.  A perfect example of this is the "open air preaching" that Irv did in the park.  He should have cared about effectively reaching those he was talking to.  As it was, all he cared about was "faithfully proclaiming the truth of final judgment upon sinners."

   Well, the Assembly fell apart and Irv played an efficient role in the job of mopping up after all the fall-out.  He viewed GG as a jerk, and certainly did not seek to defend him, and eventually left the group altogether.

   I'm not sure how Irv feels about the Assembly, but assume that he just sees the situation as one where GG failed, but has no real care for those that were damaged through their involvement in the group.

   "Damaged??!!" his response might be, "why the Assembly was the most committed bunch of Christians I have ever seen."   Irv saw "commitment" as the first and last word re. what it means to be a Christian.

   If you asked him about the Assembly theology he might say: "it was practical holiness of the highest order."  His interest in discussing grace, and how that relates to our weakness, would cause him to respond with scorn against "weak willed" believers whom God rejects as underachievers.

    Irv isn't interested in having discussions with former members, like on this BB, "who wallow in bitterness and who assume a victim status."   "Spiritual abuse?!  That's a bunch of nonsense--- these people just need to 'get on with their lives via a life of strong faith."

   Of course, there is a measure of truth in what Irv says--- but due to his shallow view of spirituality he only recognizes "bold resolve of will" as the sum and substance of our entire lives.

  We would hope that every former member has a strong faith and doesn't wallow in bitterness, but the question is how to help those in such a state find strength in their lives.  Irv is not interested in doing this and as such does not share God's mind re. the needy.

   In my continuation of "Irv's" story I will discuss what I believe Irv needs.

                                            God Bless,  Mark C.

[Sondra Jamison]

                      IRVING'S STORY
                
   Irv was a very serious brother, I don't ever remember seeing him smile, though I'm sure he must have. When he spoke to you there was a feeling that he did not quite approve of you.....

Hi Mark,

I am not trying to tear apart every argument that is put up on this board, but I do find, as I did from the first day I read the ab, that people were attaching a lot of tails to the Assembly kite that could have gone on any other kite.  Kick me off if you please, (you, general) but I will not be halting and submissive to people who are pushing what I believe to be false ideas.  If my posts are dominating, it is not due to volume, as Brian has suggested.  It is due to "truth" at least in part.   Very inclusive truth.

Ideas are powerful, I will admit, but I would suggest that if only one school of ideas are allowed on this board, and then a few more that are similar, but differing a bit, you will have another unhealthy environment.  The Holy Spirit manifests Himself in many diverse personalities.  One is not right and another wrong.  Opposing opinion is healthy.  Everybody thinks "their religion" is the right one, but guess what....Christ is One and has many members as the scriptures teach.

As frustrating as it is to some, I think it is healthy to question what is written and blamed on the Assembly.  I left the Assembly because I felt spiritual growth was hindered.  Many who stayed too long suffered a grief for their disobedience and perhaps could not grow except through a great amount of negative treatment (not saying it’s necessary). 

I have found that when God is calling me upward or out from a particular place that it is very painful to stay.  Why?  Because resource is withheld both spiritual and corporeal.  Are you starving?  Move.  Are you thirsty?  “Arise, get thee to Zarephath, which belongeth to Zidon, and dwell there: behold, I have commanded a widow woman there to sustain thee.”  IKing 17:9 It’s like wearing a pair of shoes that no longer fit.  With every step you are reminded that you need to make a change. 

Anyway, back to the topic at hand – “Irving.”  A brother who is keen on commitment who you have described, one who is energetic toward his cause to a fault, one who is assertive and judgmental of all others….describes millions of young men who have gone off to battle for his country.  This describes male youth.  This describes the “first things” of discipleship.  As John the Baptist was the forerunner to Christ (sounds rather crazy acting if you ask me).  So the young disciple often has an extreme “tunnel vision” where it comes to “the call” to bring them in from the fields of sin….not yet having developed understanding that the expediency is a spiritual one and that to win men and women to Christ or even to a fellowship requires loving and patient discernment in the Spirit. 

Ongoing failure usually is the medicine that takes care of the enthusiasm problem.  Eventually method and approach come into focus when the “high pressure” method fails time after time.  But the simple fact is that the scriptures teach through several examples to be bold as a lion, to preach in season and out of season, to run alongside the chariot, etc.  Young men hear this a certain way and are naïve enough to simply get into that spirit as it is given and do it, not discerning the deeper things.

“If a little is good then more is better” works for those who are young and inexperienced in the work of salvation of souls.  Young men, in particular, perhaps more than young women, tend to go out to share and preach as an army ready to conquer.  Yes, they have smiles upon their faces, but their “good” is evil spoken of because they are forceful and full of their ideology.  Whether their ideology is a certain football team, a certain computer game, a certain type of automobile…or a certain denomination/religion….like Islam – they can be absolutely fanatical.  Young men seem to have a vulnerability in their late teens and early twenties.  It has been my observation that Men, in general, tend to have a competitive edge that women do not tend to have.  “My ____________ is better than yours” type of thing.

(continued)

[Sondra Jamison]

I would be happy to agree that competition was encouraged in the Assemblies more than in many other Churces.  Strong personalities tend to push their particular ideas and beliefs and that isn't always a bad thing.

After all, the man who brought down the Assemblies was not a light weight, live and let live kind of guy.  Although I will say that he has shown maturity in that after some of the dust settled, he could admit areas of mistake, etc.  Generally, I like the type of man that will STAND UP AND SAY THAT THE KING HAS NO CLOTHES ON. 

Now, besides the idea of uncontrolled enthusiasm of youth, there are people whose temperament is such that they feel compelled to take the helm.  Whether or not they are qualified doesn’t seem to enter their minds.  These people who are assertive are not necessarily wrong.  Natural born leaders do not start out knowing how to lead and often do it poorly. 

The raw Choleric temperament has it’s negative characteristics that are hurtful, but the Holy Spirit can modify them and get balance according to Tim LaHaye’s books on temperament types.  Choleric’s tend to be pushy, know-it-all’s who will prefer to “go it” alone.  The Choleric temperament is even said to have a tendency toward cruelty until the Holy Spirit has His influence….but still they make good leaders because they say what needs to be said and don’t melt at every sign of rejection or resistance.  They also tend to be very critical of others and even aloof.  Mark, if you enjoy psychology subjects, read one of LaHaye’s books on this subject.  God made man with about four basic temperament types, m/l.  I believe it was Aristotle who first wrote on it.  LaHaye “christianized” it – which I have found to be a wonderful and insightful work.

I understand you have outlined a guy in the Assembly who drove a lot of people, crazy and who may have been an opposite temperament to yours, but the world is full of Irving’s and they did not find themselves being Irving’s because they were in the Assembly.

Hope you have a good week on the truck.

Sondra 

[Elizabeth H]

Hi Mark,

I am not trying to tear apart every argument that is put up on this board, but I do find, as I did from the first day I read the ab, that people were attaching a lot of tails to the Assembly kite that could have gone on any other kite.  Kick me off if you please, (you, general) but I will not be halting and submissive to people who are pushing what I believe to be false ideas.  If my posts are dominating, it is not due to volume, as Brian has suggested.  It is due to "truth" at least in part.   Very inclusive truth.

Sondra,

Given your past history on this board, it's been pretty clear that your primary purpose HAS been to "tear apart every argument."

You sincerely missed Mark's point. He wasn't saying the Assembly was the cause of an "Irving" personality. Mark was illustrating how such a personality flourished within the Assembly system, to the detriment of others.

E.

[Elizabeth H]

As frustrating as it is to some, I think it is healthy to question what is written and blamed on the Assembly.  I left the Assembly because I felt spiritual growth was hindered.  Many who stayed too long suffered a grief for their disobedience and perhaps could not grow except through a great amount of negative treatment (not saying it’s necessary). 

I have found that when God is calling me upward or out from a particular place that it is very painful to stay.  Why?  Because resource is withheld both spiritual and corporeal.  Are you starving?  Move.  Are you thirsty?  “Arise, get thee to Zarephath, which belongeth to Zidon, and dwell there: behold, I have commanded a widow woman there to sustain thee.”  IKing 17:9

So those who "stayed too long" (according to you) suffered "negative treatment"/abuse because they were "disobedient" (according to you) to God?

This is ridiculous and offensive. It comes dangerously close to blaming the victim for being abused, ie. "she was a rebellious wife, she deserved to be slapped."

And that verse? Wildly out of context and used in an agendized manner.
 
E.

[Joe Sperling]

Elizabeth---

I totally agree. Mark was showing how a personality like "Irv's" could flourish and even
be praised in the Assembly. He wasn't saying the Assembly "created" an Irv--he was
saying that a person with a personality like Irv's could literally grow worse and worse
in an Assembly environment, because the Assembly considered the extrovert or naturally
"bold" to be quite spiritual.

--Joe

[Mark C.]

Hi Sondra, and thanks to Elizabeth and Joe for your defense of my "Irv" story.

  Sondra:  I am not offended at all with your challenge of the picture that I painted with Irv in his story--- if I dish out this stuff I expect that someone would want to stick-up for individuals who they believe are not getting a fair shake by my story telling.  I am glad that you took the time to read and to respond.
 
   (I have no intention of kicking you off the BB, btw, due to disagreement.  It's when the arguments take on a personal attack that I have to do something).

   I am working local and hope to be around a little bit more, but thanks for your best wishes for me on the road.

   Back to Irv:  Joe and Eliz. are correct in saying that I went out of my way to show how "Irv" was not "made" at all by the Assembly, as he basically stayed the same throughout his Assembly decades.

   Your comments re. young men are very true, and we can't fault Irv for his natural personality (I have read the book you mentioned, and I found it very interesting, btw.)

 Irv actually is a composite of several bros. I remember.  I say this because I don't want people to get the idea that I'm trying to make caricatures of former members in an attempt to cast shame on specific former members, or even to try and prove how bad the Assembly was.

   My first purpose is to hopefully draw former members out to share their own stories:

 which as I stated before will be far more effective than my own limited perspective (I can imagine how someone might tell my story--- that is, just from what they observed from my Assembly days.)  I'm sure Tom, AL, and Joe could share some embarrasing memories of my past !

    If I can't get others to share, than I hope these stories will provide a means to aid in recovery for wounded souls.

 Causing them to be able to face the pain of honest reflection, and then the joy that the Spirit brings to that broken heart as a result.

   I hope that my further posts on Irv will answer some of the questions you raised, and I will specifically try to do so.  There is nothing wrong with commitment or boldness, but if that is all we've got then I think the Lord would like to "add to our faith" some very important ingredients.

   I will give you a hint by suggesting I Cor. 13 tells us that there is one very special attribute that God wants to get into our lives; without which we are just shouters at the end of a picnic table. 

                                       God bless,  Mark C.

[al Hartman]

  I'm sure Tom, AL, and Joe could share some embarrasing memories of my past !

Thanks, Mark. 

I am highly flattered that you think that, at my advanced age, I could still have such memories!

al

[Mark C.]

        IRVING'S STORY----- WHAT'S THE PUPOSE ?

    This post is an attempt to answer Sondra's arguments in defense of Irv, who is a composite of a certain type of former Assembly member.

  I think that Sondra is suggesting that what I have done with Irv, and possibly other of my stories, is an excercise in some kind of psychological profiling of former members.

 With these biographies she may assume that I am just trying to help former members cope with life, vs. finding truly spiritual solutions in making sense of their Assembly sojourn.

  These stories are not meant to find "psychological" solutions to post Assembly living, rather they are intended to offer "spiritual" answers.

   Irv has a problem with his walk with God that has left him a very shallow individual.   We all have weaknesses in our lives, but Irv has never understood the very biblical concept of grace in how it relates to that mortality.

   Studying the Pharisees, and how Jesus, Paul, etc. interacted with them, provides a very important lesson on the difference between a life with God vs. one opposed to God's direction.

 1.) The Pharisees were very intense in their religious fervor, but it was "not according to knowledge."

       Like Irv, they had one track minds that were unable to feel any kind of sympathy for the weakness in others, admit their own, or temper their "religious zeal" with any kind of humanity.

    They believed that to be "human" was to be "un-spiritual", and so they "hardened their hearts" against expressing any normal compassion.  A life of this kind of "hardness" makes for not only emotional problems, but spiritual living problems as well.

   I am well aware of the dangers of liberal "theology" that interprets spirituality as purely human emotion---- This is the wrong notion where I build my "faith" based on how I feel about scripture, life, etc.

  There must be a balance that is anchored firmly in the truth, as found in scripture, but also with an honest acceptance that I am not a "spirit being" alone (like the angels) but am also a "livng soul."

   Grace working in the Christian life effectively is what God is trying to achieve through the ministry of the Spirit in the church.  In the Assembly there was a whole lot of spiritual language/activity flying around, but precious litlle life being ministered.

 Actually, as with the Pharisees, the dishonest false religiosity produced real damage to the spirituality of the members.  Since Irv was not "growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ", the group was a means of walling him off from life in the Spirit.

   Proof that Irv isn't like "the individual who brought the Assemblies down", is that he has never had an interest at all (nor does he see the need) in raising any kind of alarm about how the Assembly operated, or providing help for former members.  As jerky as he thinks GG is, he also believes that those that have any complaints about the group are just as bad!

   Paul, as a former Pharisee, became an ardent opponent of that evil system of false spirituality, as did Jesus before him.  Spirit filled individuals will have this same passion in their lives.  Irv's lack of awareness of Assembly false piety, and understanding of what damage it causes, leaves him far from the experience of the life of God.

                                        God Bless,  Mark C.

[Oscar]

Mario,

You said:

I dont feel I stayed too long. Maybe it was just long enough for me to allow God to acheive great things in my life. this board has put alot of things into perspective

I think you are right.  For me, the assembly experience was emotionally painful, physically exhausting, and I will never fully recover from the financial decisions I made during those years. But when I think of this, I remember Psalm 66:10-12:

 "For you , O God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our back. You let men ride over our backs; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance."

This is probably referring to one of the serious disasters suffered by Judah.  But the point is that God, in his omniscience and love, works within the evil of men to bring out His intended good.

Does it have to be that way?  Do evil things have to happen for God to get what he is after?  I don't know.

But I do know that I left that assembly experience with clarified beliefs, a determination to walk with God no matter what, and strengthened "boundaries" that allow me to live according to what I believe I should or should not do, not what others think.

Blessings,

Thomas Maddux

[Mark C.]

Hi Mario, Tom, and Others!

  Yes!  The end result of trying to figure out the Assembly, and our part in it, is to come away with  a greater wisdom and maturity that will not only benefit our own lives, but others that we will influence along the way.

   The greatest disaster is to have spent the decades we did in deception and abuse and then walk away with a refusal to reflect at all---- or, in some kind of dishonest denial of the facts!

   Grace, as you noticed Mario, is the key to deliverance from our former bondage, as it provides a totally safe place from which to get our thinking straight.  The mind will not be able to think clearly if our emotions are boiling over to the point that quiet reflection is impossible. 

   Much of the confusion from our Assembly past is because we have mis-interpreted how God works in our lives via the Spirit.  Some of us adopted, and had strongly reinforced in our lives, a kind of "spirituality" that is only intuitive in nature-- this is how we read the Bible, interpret daily experiences, pray, and generally interact with the World at large.

   In other words, "God" directly led us through our feelings, and GG was a master of manipulating our emotional state.  The group pressures were also very powerful in how they formed our toxic religious attitudes.  Decades of this formed deep habits that are difficult for us to even recognize in ourselves--- how we still perceive God, and our belief in how God sees us.  These "perceptions" are automatic, in that they will just run our lives and control us if we let them.


   For some of us (especially those really given to GG's heavenly vision style of spirtuality), taking theology lessons alone on grace doesn't seem to help much.  And, as I have explained, this is because we are still trying to discern God by reaching out from our intuitive sensibilities.

   The same thing can happen when we attend "a healthy church" and expect that we are to get back those old feelings of "being in the presence of God and at the cutting edge of the purpose of God."

   I remember those ol' Assembly feelings, and they were better than any drugs I ever took in my hippie days!     Seriously though, like the drugs, there is a big let down when you aren't high and this leaves you feeling flat and despondent.
 
  This thread is dedicated to those who are deeply hurt and just don't know what to think anymore.  They believe in God, are born again, and trust that the Bible is the word of God, but still feel totally disconnected from God.   

   The operative word in the above paragraph is feel, and whether we like it or not these damaged feelings are what are continually keeping us from a place of "a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" (I:Tim. 1:7).

   Some of us were not as "emotional" in our "spirituality", and so might wonder why certain individuals might struggle so hard with these things.  "Why can't such just shrug off their moodiness via "choosing" to think in a logical way re. the facts of the Gospel of grace?", some may ask.

    I think that some of the future stories I will post, as I trust some of the past ones', might offer some insight and help to those trying to understand these things.  Maybe others would like to share their own story of how they found help in finding "the abundant life in Christ."

                                                        God Bless,  Mark C.

[Mark C.]

The raw Choleric temperament has it’s negative characteristics that are hurtful, but the Holy Spirit can modify them and get balance according to Tim LaHaye’s books on temperament types.  Choleric’s tend to be pushy, know-it-all’s who will prefer to “go it” alone.  The Choleric temperament is even said to have a tendency toward cruelty until the Holy Spirit has His influence….but still they make good leaders because they say what needs to be said and don’t melt at every sign of rejection or resistance.  They also tend to be very critical of others and even aloof. 

Sondra 

                                  IRVING'S STORY: THE CONCLUSION

   I quoted the above from Sondra because I think it presents a difficult question to answer, that being:

  How can the Spirit change someone like Irving, and for that matter how does the Spirit work in former Assembly members who do not share the same personality type?

   While studying personality types is interesting the human soul is much too much complex for us to really know what is going on inside of Irv.  The bible tells us not to try and diagnose one another in this way in a number of places:

1.) I:Cor. 4:3-- "I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself"

    Notice, that Paul in the above verse avoids even trying to judge his own motives, realizing that it is a futile excercise, much less the inner dispositions of others.

2.) Rom.14:10---"You then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat.---- 13: Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another."

   These verses do not support the notion that we shouldn't judge behavior/teaching, for Paul here is dealing with the specific area of inner life, as in, motives, convictions, etc.  We are wholly incapable to pass judgment on Irv's true motives, but we can judge his expressed attitudes, actions, and beliefs.  Indeed, we are neglegent and unloving if we do not judge one another when it comes to sinful behavior and/or false teaching.

  How do we judge behavior and teaching?  The first thing is that we cannot go outside of the parameters the bible gives for what is sinful or heretical. 

    The Assembly made a lack of loyalty to the group and fidelity to GG an issue of sin, and therefore one of condemnation.  This "lack of unity" was the worse sin possible (above child molestation, going to strip clubs, etc.) and could earn eternal loss!

   With Irv, since he was very loyal, he was given a pass as an approved "overcomer" of the first degree, and an example to be praised in every way.   Was he really sinful though?   As Sondra suggested, maybe he just has a particular personality type and we should just leave it to the Spirit of God to mould Irv into a spiritual man.

   I will offer my opinion as to how the Assembly failed Irv, and how we would fail him if we do not judge his behavior in the Assembly to be far out of the will of God.  As Jesus, Paul, etc. harshly judged the practices of the Pharisees, calling them evil; former members must see and acknowledge the truth that they were involved in what was truly opposite to God's intentions for his church.

   Irv's, and others like him, who cannot honestly admit these things cannot even hear Jesus knocking outside their door!  The Spirit would like to minister to Irv's soul, but Irv can't recognize his own needy condition.  Strong intervention is the loving course to take with those in strong denial of the facts.

   More on Irv later----                              God Bless,  Mark C.     

[Mark C.]

                                          MORE ON iRV

   Even though Irv admits GG failed, he believes the group was firmly established upon good NT exegesis and honest God honoring practices he would describe as "the pursuit of true holiness."

   If Irv would listen, what do I believe could bring about a positive work of God in his soul?   In the last post I suggested that only a firm face-off with him as regards my belief that the Assembly was/is more like the church of Laodicea than Ephesus (the churches of Asia in Rev.).

   Jesus himself, via a messenger, sent a very strong rebuke to Laodicea, and we are not told how they responded to that message.   But, the message of the rebuke itself reveals what it means to have an evil Pharisee like system in place and what the cure is.

1.) Among the many clues this phrase tells us a lot when it says: "you say-- I am rich and am in need nothing----"(Rev. 3:17).

   The Laodiceans were not suffering from a "choleric" personality weakness, but from a lack of honesty re. their own weakness.  Sensitivity training, and/or, psychological counseling would have little effect on one suffering from a false sense of pride in their own character (sin problem not an emotional one).

   Though I am only speculating on how the Laodiceans might have responded to Jesus' message, I can imagine a scenario (using my experience with dealing with the defenders of Phariseeism) where they totally reject the message!

   How?!  "The messenger alledgedly sent by Jesus was not truly speaking for Him," might go the answer-----" how could Jesus be against our strong stand for holy living!  why can't we all just learn to 'forgive and forget' and move on?!" Anything to avoid honestly facing the accusations in the rebuke.

   In the above phrase from vs. 17 that I quote, and the context of the rebuke, these Laodiceans "did not realize" their true condition----"wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked."   How can truly saved people in a 'bible believing' church be this way?

   But, my thought here is that Irv has a very shallow understanding of grace in it's practical interface with his own humanity and in how it interacts with others.

     Irv can't admit his own weakness and cannot tolerate it in the lives of others.  Nor does he understand how the role of the church should include a humble recognition of our limitations as mortal, and the need to help one another face-up to those limitations.

    The Assembly was "anti-grace" in practice, and in so doing reinforced Irv in an attitude that was anti-Christ; making him "wretched, poor, etc."  Indeed, the Assembly made/makes Jesus sick!!

   It is grace working in our souls that makes us sensitive to the needs of others and brings us to the goal of God's desire for our lives as believers=  loving.

   Now, Jesus told the Laodiceans that "whom I love I rebuke and discipline."  So, we know from this that God loves even the most wretched former Assembly member and to those that respond grace will immediately begin to work.  

   I think the above advice re. grace has an application that goes beyond just the "Irv's," as even those with a great awareness of their own inner poverty may still suffer from their former false holiness involvement in the Assembly.  I fall into this category, and have detailed in the past my struggles with practical graceful living.  I have had to learn the wonderful fact that God's grace is enough for me, and though I have asked that God would take away my weakness.

  Former members need to read Rev. 3:1-22 and ask God for the remedies that Jesus insisted the Laodiceans needed:

1.) (18) --"buy from me gold refined in the fire---- so you can become rich."    
           I won't engage in GG styled mixing of metaphors here, or of wild theological speculations based on these analogies. The need here is a very practical one that was one ingredient in the antidote against toxic religion: they didn't realize their own inner poverty

    The price of receiving this "gold", that God already had purified, was giving up one's personal pride and admitting they needed it!  That this is so difficult to do is exemplified in those like GG, and others, who just won't honestly face what the Assembly was, or their part in it.

 2.) "---and white clothes to wear, so you can cover the shame of your nakedness"
                           Again, God provides it, and so it basically is a different metaphor to explain the same need--- admission of my need and God's total solution to that lack.

3.) "and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see."

       Again, God's gift to bring awareness that one might see things the way God does---- different analogy same response: humble acknowledgement of my need and blessed reception of God's all sufficient supply of grace to meet all my need!

  All theoretical theological discussion aside ("but I'm already saved!").  When I first left the group others around me (at work and such) who previously knew me noticed a change in my life.  While I was previously very aloof, preachy, and superior they noticed that I had become much more human in my relationships with them.

 Grace is not only for salvation but also for practical living of the Christian life, and for former members of groups like the Assembly experiencing this grace is essential.  It is the practical experinece of grace in our souls that will bring healing and strength to our actual living--- hence the title of this thread, "Wounded Pilgrims."

                                                          God bless,  Mark C.
  

[Mark C.]

                     LARRY'S STORY


  Everybody loves Larry, because he is a fun guy to be around.  Quite the opposite of Irv's insensitive coldness, Larry can be very sympathetic and loving.

   (Larry is a composite of several people I remember from the Assembly.)

  Larry loved the family atmosphere of the Assembly, because his own family was so messed up.  He was the one in his family who was always trying to keep them together and thinking positive.

  His brothers, sisters, and parents were a total mess, and into this mess the Gospel found Larry and brought great joy and hope to him.

  He attended churches, but he still hungered for the happy family he never had.  Here is where the Assembly entered his life and became more important than anything else.  The more than anything else included his personal honesty with God and those asking honest questions about the group.

   When I left the group Larry tried to get me to stay on, all the while telling me my criticisms of the group were valid.  The one important issue to him was keeping the family together and keeping everything "positive".

  I tried to convince him that his loyalty to the group was a kind of idolatry that was destructive to his own individual life with God, using tons of verses to make my point, but they could not get through the strong emotional barrier that he had built up to protect his own inordinate affection for his Assembly family.

  My heart broke when I read his letter telling me that he could have nothing to do with me anymore, because of my being so critical of the Assembly.  I was now the enemy and in league with the devil, or so the Leading bros. told him to write.  I doubt that he actually believed this, but they forced him to make a choice between association with me or having good standing with the group.

   At first I tried to reach out to present members, figuring that some of them might consider that the group was not representative of God's will, and needed to accept constructive insights.  I wrote lengthy disortations on what I thought were the key issues for the group, and mailed these to members.

   I received one very angry response telling me I was "of the devil, etc." and the guy who wrote that has since told me that GG had told him what to write.  I also wrote GG and he was too big of a coward to respond!!

    I had some hope when Ronald Enroth's first book on abusive churches came out, which included an expose on the group, but this only created a stronger attitude of resistance and a more active campaign to disguise the evil system that GG had put in place.

  Next:  "The Group Falls Apart and Larry Makes Some Decisions."

                                          God Bless,  Mark C.