WOUNDED PILGRIMS

[matthew r. sciaini]

Dave:

I've never actually seen the OC, but from what I heard it makes Orange County out to be all like Newport Beach.

And, you should know what it is like....you were here for quite a while.

Matt Sciaini

[al Hartman]

Well, I can speak from first-hand knowledge about CA & CAians.  I spent 18 years living in So. CA & I married a little young lady from Pasadena.

South of Barstow, all Californios are insane-- to me, it's one of their most endearing features. 

The interstate highways (known in CA as "freeways," Loonybloom, because you don't have to stop every hundred yards or so to shell out more coin as in Chi-town) are mostly far preferable to any in the east or midwest.  The exception is the Pasadena Fwy, which is a lot like high speed bumper cars, due to extremely narrow lanes and right-angle offramps which are roughly two carlengths long.

I have driven in probably over 2/3 of the lower 48 states, and I prefer So. CA to anywhere else.  For one thing, nearly all the signage is intelligible, even to visitors from Podunk (or El Podunco, as the case may be).  The last time I was there ('02 0r '03) rush hour on the major freeways more closely resembled a parking lot than a racetrack.  Rush hour near LAX begins before sunrise and extends well into the evening.  By contrast, when in Chicago, I start out early & stick with surface streets as much as possible-- the expressways there confuse me (I admit, I'm easily confused).

Chicago is a beautiful city, with many fascinating attractions, all of which I prefer to see by daylight.  After dark, my favorite thing in Chicago is a solid deadbolt on my door.  This is not a problem in the greater L.A. area, where you're as likely to be shot in broad daylight as at night.

Weather:  I have been through numerous earthquakes, and very near to several mudslides and large fires (the kind that planes bomb with water) but, relatively speaking, every disaster in So. CA is warm, of which I am a huge fan.  The wind off Lake Michigan is always chilly-- welcome during the occasional heatwave, but otherwise requiring too much clothing the year around.

As a side note, Matt, I believe that the grandpappy of all US earthquakes which you mentioned was in the 1700s, following its prediction by Shawnee Chief Tecumseh's brother, a medicine man known as the prophet, providing a great boost to their presige among tribes they were trying to unite against the settlers.  As I recall (from reading, NOT from experience!), it was centered in MO & felt over an immense area, as far east as OH, and no one knows how far west as there were only four non-natives living west of the Rockies at the time, and they were all drunk that day.  The Richter measurement can only be guessed at because Chas. Richter wasn't born until 1900, and didn't create his scale until several weeks later.

The bottom line for me:  Three of our four kids now live in So. CA, and San Diego County would be our ideal choice for retirement.  IF we were wealthy.  I wouldn't choose to retire in Chicago because any town Billy Sunday couldn't shut down is too rowdy for me!

Ciao,
al

P.S.  For the record, Joe Sperling comes up with most of his material sitting down, not standing up, and he doesn't wannabe a comic-- he IS a comic!  Even when he's trying to be serious...

[Jem]

OK kids, how did we get here? Mark you have let your thread run amok. Maybe you should change the title to "wounded Californians."

Thanks for defending us So Calis Al. It has been well said that we do have four seasons out here: droughts, brushfires, landslides and earthquakes. We try and promote that all the time to keep all those midwesterners from fleeing blizzards here, but the secret is out. I think it has to do with news reports. Every time we battle a catastrophe from wildfires to flash floods the media shows us in our shorts and flip-flops. Some folks in eight layers of clothes on Lake Shore Dr. have figured us out and have sold their 2 mil house on Lake Michigan and bought a 6 mil house on the Pacific. Oh sure, now they have a morgage, but no heating or cooling bill. Think of the savings.

In actuality we only have two seasons here, SC football and Madres baseball. Talk about catastrophes. We are still waiting for the Texas fans to leave.

And The OC is no more like the real Orange County than Laguna Beach is like the real...um...well...nevermind.

[outdeep]

And The OC is no more like the real Orange County than Laguna Beach is like the real...um...well...nevermind.

I guess OC wouldn't have the appeal if it was centered in, say, Stanton.

[moonflower2]

all Californios are insane--
The interstate highways (known in CA as "freeways," Loonybloom, because you don't have to stop every hundred yards or so to shell out more coin as in Chi-town) are mostly far preferable to any in the east or midwest. 

Alleygoof,
You could always get your act together and let the democratic government of Illinois control your money and sign up for an ipass account.

I have driven in probably over 2/3 of the lower 48 states, and I prefer So. CA to anywhere else.  For one thing, nearly all the signage is intelligible, even to visitors from Podunk (or El Podunco, as the case may be).  The last time I was there ('02 0r '03) rush hour on the major freeways more closely resembled a parking lot than a racetrack.  Rush hour near LAX begins before sunrise and extends well into the evening.  By contrast, when in Chicago, I start out early & stick with surface streets as much as possible-- the expressways there confuse me (I admit, I'm easily confused).

For starters: I55, 294,394,I57,Edens, Eisenhower, Tri-state, Lakeshore Drive, I88, Stevenson, Dan Ryan. Walmart sells an encyclopedia for us. It's a requirement here for high school graduates.

Chicago is a beautiful city, with many fascinating attractions, all of which I prefer to see by daylight.  After dark, my favorite thing in Chicago is a solid deadbolt on my door.  This is not a problem in the greater L.A. area, where you're as likely to be shot in broad daylight as at night.

Too many people in LA, you poor things; all crammed into such a small area. No wonder you are all killing eachother.

Weather:  The wind off Lake Michigan is always welcome

As a side note, Matt, I believe that the grandpappy of all US earthquakes which you mentioned was in the 1700s, following its prediction by Shawnee Chief Tecumseh's brother, a medicine man known as the prophet, providing a great boost to their presige among tribes they were trying to unite against the settlers.  As I recall (from reading, NOT from experience!), it was centered in MO & felt over an immense area, as far east as OH, and no one knows how far west as there were only four non-natives living west of the Rockies at the time, and they were all drunk that day.  The Richter measurement can only be guessed at because Chas. Richter wasn't born until 1900, and didn't create his scale until several weeks later.

You guys are such losers. Where is loser Santa? It all happened in 1811 - 1812.

http://neic.usgs.gov/neis/eq_depot/usa/1811-1812.html

Ahhh....you're just jealous. A wannabe of wannabes       

[al Hartman]

Too many people in LA, you poor things; all crammed into such a small area. No wonder you are all killing each other.

OOOoohh-- such sarcasm!  It isn't about that at all.  It's because of the brush fires.  Every time there's a major fire, somebody's hash crop goes up in smoke & everybody downwind gets stoned & goes crazy!  Fun to watch on TV maybe, but not a good place to be passing through...

 It all happened in 1811 - 1812.

http://neic.usgs.gov/neis/eq_depot/usa/1811-1812.html

Well, you're right about the year(s).  I forgot that Tecumseh lived into the 19th century.  It's an interesting bit of history-- see:  http://www.ratical.org/ratville/Tecumseh.html

Ahhh....you're just jealous . A wannabe of wannabes        

You got that right!  I wannabe Joe Sperling more than anybody, but the position is filled so I'm stuck making these cheesy posts while he gets to do all the classic stuff.

This is al Hartman for GABB On-the-Scene Breaking News, and now back to our regular programming and you, Mark...

[Mark C.]

OK kids, how did we get here? Mark you have let your thread run amok. Maybe you should change the title to "wounded Californians."

Hi Jem!

   "I abject!" (in the words of Chico Marx from the movie "Duck Soup.")

 What I'm "abjecting" to is the statement that this is my thread----

----- this thread is our thread, this thread is your thread, from Nigeria (where disgruntled former members plot the abuse of Samuel's car), to way up North in Iceland, where "H" has checked in from time to time, to the wackos out in San Diego, California (who still have hope that the trades that the Madres made this winter will help them beat the evil White Sox of Chicago)!!!  This thread was made for you and me.

It's good for all of us to take a rest, from time to time, from stories that focus only on the wounds and maybe think about the pilgrim part of that phrase as well.  Part of having a good trip (not in the hippie sense of the phrase  ) to heaven is in learning to be happy in our lives---- is it not?

I never intended this thread (though I don't own it) to only be about the gloom and doom of how we were damaged in the Assembly, rather my hope was that it could be a place of healing.  Laughter is good medicine, as Proverbs says, and science has also proven this to be true.

Knowing this to be fact, I propose that Joe Sperling be acknowledged as having a God given gift for healing the human soul.  That he has allowed us to laugh at our former days in the Assembly (and little Georgie too) has provided a wealth of comic virtue!

Joe is not the only one, but on this BB he is kind of a Giant Hand of Assembly sarcasm and leading brother of humorous insight!  Lead on---- Dear Bro.!!!!!! 

                     In the words of Denis Prager: "Happiness is a serious problem."

                                                                     God make us happy,  Mark C.     

 

[al Hartman]

...Part of having a good trip... to heaven is in learning to be happy in our lives---- is it not?
 

Are we to take it, then, that you are rejoicing, Brother  ?

Excellent song, by the way, but I'm having a hard time fitting all the parentheticals to the notes...  

al

[Mark C.]

Al:  I can see that you are not familar with rap-music and so this is why it was so difficult for you to fit my lyrics to the rythmn.

Do you remember all the heavy theological discussions in the Assembly (I'm not asking just Al this question) where we split hairs over the difference between joy and happiness?  

 In GG parlance, one could have joy but still not be happy.  The explanation for this by him was that joy was a deep spiritual experience based on faith while happiness was a temporary shallow emotional response to one's circumstances.

  Hmnn?----- I wonder how he came up with that from the Bible?  I think I know why he promoted this concept in the group though.  Happiness means that one has a sense of contentment; which means the happy person can't be driven by guilt, a belief in a God that is angry with them over their lack of performance, etc.

 A knowledge that God is smiling on our lives and really truly has a deep affection for us should make us feel pretty good, though I recognize that there is that in life that fights against this fact.  We are not going to feel happy when life seems to go against us.  I also don't think we will experience some kind of deeper unfelt joy at these times, whatever that might mean.

  We don't live our lives out-of-body, as some kind of spirit beings, and are able to shake off all of the baggage of our humanity we carry with us.  It isn't healthy to deny these facts and fantasize about some kind of super-spiritual experience we hope to have that is always overcoming---honesty the best policy here.

 IMHO, there is no difference between joy and happiness, and they come from the same source: the forgiveness of sins

   I remember a story I read about a woman who had joined her boy friend in a multi State crime spree.  They were kind of like a modern day Bonnie and Clyde who killed and robbed without any restraint.  They showed a photo of the woman in the paper right after her arrest and she looked like the most unhappy person that I had ever seen!   Without reading a bit of the story and just by looking at that photo you could tell where this person was at!!!!

   Well, the woman was convicted and sent to prison and as sometimes happens "she found Christ."  However, in this story she really did find Christ!  Alongside this story was an after salvation photograph of this lady and it didn't even look like the same person!!  Her face was shinning with joy, whereas in the prior photo she had a dark cloud of evil that twisted her visage beyond my ability to explain in words!  I being a bit of a sentimentalist actually started to cry, and it was mainly from comparing the two photos.

  Why? She had all of her guilt for sins taken away by Jesus, and though she was in prison for life, she was filled with peace.  Yes, it was first peace with God, but it also was peace with herself!!
I know very little about the woman I describe above, but I wonder if she got started on her way toward the Bonnie and Clyde version of what she became via some kind of abuse?  I wonder what kind of "anvil and hammer" helped form her?

Why do many of us call the Assembly an abusive church?  Why do I contend that we were "wounded" and robbed while there?  It's as simple as knowing how the group twisted the fact that you are forgiven and fully accepted by God just because he loves you!

1.) While bad things can happen to us it is not because God is trying to pay us back for our failings.  Certainly God is trying to teach us through hard times, but his intention is to bless us, no matter how many times we fail.

    2.) God is not out to destroy you as a person (self)  Jesus died to "save" you, so that your self could be preserved.  God does want to make an end of the "old self", but that does not describe our essential person, rather the practices of sin.

    3.) God wants us to be content with who we are--- that is in our essential person.      We need to accept ourselves as God has accepted us.  We are painfully aware of our own weakness and humanity, but "what God has received do not call unholy."  I may wish that I was more courageous in my faith, not have a tendency to self introspection, be more sacraficial in life, and have more love for those that cut me off on the freeway, but I'm the guy who God loved not withstanding all my fallen humanity!

   4.) Trying to change your personality by making resolutions, trying harder, reckoning dead, etc. will lead to a very unhappy life (or unjoyful if you prefer).  Have you ever met a happy perfectionist?  The woman "Bonnie" above was not happy due to her ability to subdue her old woman, rather, and only, on the basis that God had forgiven her.

 Doesn't God have an expectation that we "walk worthy, etc."?    Undoubtedbly yes, but I think there was the way we learned about this in the group vs. how God really meant this for our lives.  I still say it all goes back to the place where we first knew the Good Samaritan coming to our place of wounding and robbing and our experience of his love there!  It is His love that makes us "more than overcomers."

                                                  God Bless,  Mark C.

[Oscar]

Mark,

You said:

"IMHO, there is no difference between joy and happiness, and they come from the same source: the forgiveness of sins"

I dunno, about that.

Its 3:AM at the workers seminar in Colorado.  Nine hours earlier I ate a large serving of chicken casserole at dinner.  The chickens, organically raised and approved by Betty, have been brought all the way from Illinois "frozen" in ice chests on the top of cars!!!   

 I am kneeling on the cold linoleum floor of the bathroom in my cabin vomiting up my guts.  I then have to leap onto the toilet seat as the other end of my digestive tract erupts with equal vigor.  I have, plain and simple, been poisoned.  Along with several dozen other people.

At this point, I am NOT happy.  But I'm still glad to be a Christian.

Ps...this actually happened!

Thomas Maddux

[Mark C.]

Hi Tom!

 Betty wasn't trying to poison you, she was just trying to kill your flesh, and thus save your spirit in the process !

  I realize that there are different degrees of happiness/joy.  One can be upset about one's present circumstances ( i.e. throwing up, etc.) but still have a deep assurance that they are saved.

 However, in the Assembly we did not have any assurance re. our eternal state (if you believed in what GG taught) and so the whole issue of joy/happiness was based on one's confidence in their merit based relationship with God alone.

 The oft asked question ( I remember you asking me this re. my preaching): "Are you rejoicing brother/sister", which to some here may cause just as much intestinal upset as Betty's chicken, was not a reminder to be encouraged that one's sins were forgiven, rather an excercise in producing the very opposite, which were feelings of guilt and inadequacy in the one reminded.

 Joy/happiness in the group were about what one could work up via the "excercise of their faith" and proved that the Holy Spirit was filling one's soul.  Any sense of contentment was considered "a dangerous condition of taking one's salvation for granted, and as such, God's breaking work of anvil and hammer could be expected at any moment!!"

So, while of course I agree there are degrees of happiness and depths of joy that was not the point I was trying to make in my previous post.  I think a good biography of a former member/s plagued with "a lack of joy" might be a picture that is worth a thousand words of mine, since my previous post seemed so unclear.

                                                        God Bless,  Mark C.

[al Hartman]

I have said repeatedly that the errors of assembly teaching each began with a germ of truth.  In the case of which Tom speaks, the germ became a sizable colony of bacteria (likely salmonella).  The experience gave new meaning to the phrase "chicken out."

Mark, the only rappers I truly appreciate are the ones who put fancy paper & ribbons around my christmas presents.

OK, now that I have that all out of my system (pun intended), let me repeat once again that GG & co took Bible passages and normal everyday English and created from them a counterfeit language that poisoned our minds as surely as Betty's organic chickens poisoned our bodies.  Why is that a problem?  

If you have ever become violently ill from eating bad food, you know that it may take months or years before you can partake of any dish that resembles the one that made you sick.  Even odors similar to the smell of the offending dish will cause fits of gagging.  So it has been with many of us whose minds were poisoned by the funky concoction of assembly doctrine which, though it appeared to be nourishing fare, was a witches brew of pseudo-truth spoiled with all manner of corruption.  What was foisted upon us was a direct violation of the seventh commandment, wherein God's Word was adulterated by the addition to it of the venomous ideas of depraved men.

The result for many has been that the very thought of the Bible, the sound of preaching or teaching, elicits a gag-reflex in us that forces us to turn away in disgust.  No matter that today's exposure is to sound doctrine, solid teaching, untainted Scripture-- it reminds us of that which made us sick and is therefore repugnant to us.

How can we get past this roadblock to our spiritual recovery, when the very thought of the "spiritual" is reprehensible to us?  How can we learn the truth of God's graciousness and love toward us, when the very terminology of God, His grace and His love remind us of the verbiage that led us into deception and slavery to lies?  Simply put, we can't.  With man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible.

It is not our efforts, no matter the direction in which we exert them, that will make the difference.  God has, through Jesus Christ, already done everything that needs to be done to break down the wall between us and Himself.  It is finished.  What then is the obstacle that keeps us apart?  There is none.  We have been deceived into believing that there is some great, massive, impregnable, impenetrable, immovable, unconquerable (you get the picture...) thing blocking our access to God, but there is not!  Jesus Christ tore it down and utterly destroyed it through His death, burial, resurrection and ascenscion.

Ask God to show you the truth of this.  Don't allow your past to dictate your expectations of His answering or not answering you.  Just ask.  It is not the fervency or earnestness of your request that will make any difference-- His faithfulness has that covered.  Your anticipations of the results of your prayer do not matter.  What God has done for you is just that-- done.  Just ask Him to open your eyes to see the truth and your ears to hears it, and He will.  Incline your heart toward Him.  His grace has assured that you can.

al

[Mark C.]

Hi Al and others following this conversation,

What you have to say Al is very true; that gag reflex you speak of is something many of us have experienced, and it happens even though we now know clearly the gospel. 

Many will read this conversation and ask, "when will these reactions start to diminish and will I every get to the happy state (being happy is what started this recent chat) of contentment?

I do have a "bio." that I think will help to make my point re. this, but before I do I'd like to further answer Tom's post on this.

Tom, and others like him, came to the Assembly established in a basic understanding of the Gospel.  These seem to have fared much better upon their leaving the group because they, though put through great difficulty in the group, still understood that they were saved.  Tom admitted this in his "Betty chicken" testimonial when he said, "I still knew I was a Christian."

I have heard from more than a few former members that while in the group they felt their condition of "bare bones salvation" was worse than not being saved at all!  These had no foundation to fall back on when the daily abuse came their way.
 
 Why?  because at least in the world they could live blissfully in their ignorance and have some kind of enjoyment of life.  Under GG instruction they lived in a kind of no-man's-land where "being a Christian" just meant you had a much greater level of responsibility before God, but no assurance of anything.

A very unhappy state, if there ever was one!    No peace, no joy, no hope---- except the rather weak expectation that somehow you might have a "break-through" where you wrestled with God to the point that you attained to sanctification!!

After decades of this kind of stuff is it any wonder that there were those who gave up completely in disillusionment.  Start quoting verses to these people and a great wave of despair returns in such a surge that they lack the mental vigor to take on the task of trying to decipher what is true and what was twisted--- they have just plain given up!!

Some reject anything sounding evangelical and take to the extreme opposite of atheism, or maybe a kind-of agnosticism where they still "believe in the Bible", but don't really think they have a part in God anymore.  They still aren't happy, but at least they are no longer being beat to death by their guilty conscience, or trying to play religious games in their mind re. "the way of truth."  These folks are a very hard sell, and this is because they've heard the pitch for years, and they will not be fooled again.

 I'm talking about some deep cynicsm, I know, and I wasn't going to be so gloomy, but these are the ones that God's heart really breaks for, and I truly hope that they discover what Al has found!

Well, when I get around to my next story I will try to make a picture that helps us understand who this lost sheep is, and maybe identify if we share in some of that one's problem.  May the Good Shepherd reach out to us and may we share the happiness he wants to give us.  For those amazed that a Christian could think this way, please try to patiently consider the desperate state some former members are in. 

                                                God Bless,  Mark C.

[al Hartman]

Just a word of encouragement to those who read here in hope of finding "the answer" to your personal crisis, but never do...

We all post here in generalizations for the most part.  Occasionally, a one-on-one debate occurs, but even those are filled with generalizations.  We may say that the specific answer you seek can be found in the Bible, but that does not in itself imply that we or anyone else can show it to you.  The apostles, even when writing personal letters, spoke of the things of God in sweeping generalities.  It is necessary to do so when expressing principles that apply to the entire human race, or to broad divisions thereof.

Paul, Peter and John have not written specifically to you or to me.  Jesus did not mention any of us by name in His recorded words.  I'm sure there are more reasons for this than I am aware of, but a key one is this:  Our God is a living God.  In fact He is the living God-- there is no other like Him.  We may puzzle over the sweeping general statements of Scriptural doctrine, history, instruction, etc., but that is not the end of it.  We are not left foundering upon a vast sea of information without hope of rescue.

As adopted children of the living God, we have access to His very throne.  We can approach Him with our wonderings and questionings.  He listens, He hears, He understands and He answers.

I don't fit some of Mark's general descriptions.  For example, I had what Mark calls "a basic understanding of the Gospel" when I began with the assembly, but it was insufficient to sustain me after leaving.  It took me over 20 years of vascillation between a vague belief and unbelief (humanistic agnosticism) before I began to really understand and grasp the reality of the gospel I had thought I understood.  My life has followed a meandering path unlike anyone else's of whom I know, and yet I have found God by the very same way that all must: through Jesus Christ.

In addition, I haven't come to a happy place.  Granted, my concept of "happy" may differ from Mark's and others', but I am learning to know and to abide in God's peace, and to enjoy my life because of the hope I have in His promises.  I tend to think of "happy" as an exuberant feeling-- the kind you get when your favorite team scores a win, when your toddler spouts some priceless utterance, or when after a sumptuous meal, the restaurant owner stops at your table to say, "It's on the house!"  OK, I don't recall that last one happening, but I can imagine it making me very happy.  But happiness, I think, is a temporary and fleeting thing.  I am finding that the joy of redemption and the peace it brings are eternal.  While I may not always sense them, they are always present for me to tap into by faith, and I'm gradually learning to do that.

I do include myself among those who, as Mark says, are deeply cynical.  Cynicism, skepticism and fundamental negativity have been an integral part of my life since I entered this world.  They comprised the atmosphere of my childhood and as I entered adulthood I claimed them as my own.  And they clung to me like sweat in a sauna.  But God is greater than those things-- those attitudes.  You want to know the secret of how I changed my outlook?  I'd tell you if I could, but I never really affected any changes.  Christ entered my life, I discovered Him, and He has made all the changes.

Does that sound mystical?  It isn't.  Mystical experience of God is what I sought and hoped for over many years, but I am grateful to have never found it.  TV & movies are evidence of how people clamor for supernatural experiences, just as I did.  But the mystical only raises more questions.  Faith in events necessitates more events in which to place one's faith.  If God is to be truly found, He will reveal Himself to the soul who earnestly searches for and calls out to Him.  That revelation will be 100 percent verifiable by His Word, the Holy Boble.  Hope in anything else is in vain.

So, true seeker, needy soul, even if you do not find yourself specifically addressed in these posts, know that you are included in God's promises and in His heart.  Take courage and speak to Him with no conditions.  Ask Him for a heart and will to receive and accept Him as He reveals Himself to you.  He will not disappoint-- only we do that.

al

[Mark C.]

                                      TED'S STORY


      Ted is a made-up name that I use to attempt to describe a former Assembly member who is racked with guilt most of the time; it is the one powerful emotion that he often struggles with.

 This continual battle with feeling guilty did not begin in the Assembly, but his many decade involvement with the group not only allowed guilt and shame to continue it actually intensfied it's toxic influence on his soul.  The group became a very harmful means of forming his character in a very negative way.

  I need to say here at the outset of this bio. that my idea is to promote a biblical and practical perspective to help those struggling with guilt; the point of "Ted's story" is not some kind of amatuer psychological attempt toward helping one's emotional struggles.  I would recommend those with deep problems with guilt seeking profesional help.

  The Bible talks about guilt and shame at great length, and especially as it applies to false religious systems.  The Assembly taught and practiced a kind of religion that used guilt and shame to control and shape the souls of it's members.

  It is this biblical perspective that I mean to make clear, as it helps us to understand how to find a healthy view of life in Christ.  Making a distinction between a "gift based relationship" vs. a "performance based relationship" is key to recovery from groups' like the Assembly.

  Obviously, this story will not provide a comprehensive view of the topic of guilt and shame, but this hopefully will lead to a fuller discussion that might fill in some of the blanks.

                           
                    TED BEFORE THE ASSEMBLY [/u]

  Ted was a very quiet and self introspective kind of guy.  He lived in an almost constant state of shame, due to several factors:  One was his parents divorce and his father's alcholism.  Somehow he was made to feel responsible for both of these things.

  Of those that come from this kind of past, there are those that go on to get past being controlled by a false sense of guilt, but Ted just kind of managed to live with his constant companion of feeling guilty.  In other words, he just shoved it down and hoped it would go away.

  (There is a lot more that could be said about this part of Ted's experience of life, but I want to focus on what happened to Ted when he found the Assembly.)

  The biggest and best thing that happened to Ted was when he received the Lord as his Savior!  All his guilt and shame were removed when he received the gift of the forgiveness of sins.  He had deep joy now, and he was changed from a constant state of depressed introspection into a truly vibrant born again Christian!

   This salvation experience took place outside of any church, and so he began to look for a place to attend.  As the story continues we will consider what happened to Ted at this point.

                                                       God bless,  Mark C.