My Testimony and Confession

[al Hartman]

An Open Letter to the Redeemed of the Lord:

Dear Ones,
     This is my testimony and confession:
     i accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and confessed Him as Lord in 1963.  After baptism and several years of diversified spiritual searching by trial and error (during which time i married Cathy, who has proved to be infinitely patient and longsuffering, and began a family), i aligned myself with George Geftakys and his religious philosophy.  The years from 1969 through the latter part of 1980 i spent under his tutelage and, in matters of faith, as his unpaid servant.
     In August, 1980 i left Fullerton, CA with my family and returned to my native Ohio.  This decision was not made from spiritual conviction, but was pressed upon me by my ouster from the assembly's leading brothers' meeting, the meeting of Geftakys' "workers" and, essentially from all assembly life.  Although it was never explained to me, i have since surmised that my ejection was because i no longer displayed any usefulness or promise of development for the "work," having therefor become a liability to keep around.  Essentially, i ran away to escape my sense of shame.
     From that time until the present (June, 2003) i have never been directly associated with any church or gathering, Christian or otherwise, owing primarily to my mistaken belief that i had failed the Lord and been cast out from His one true patterned work:  the assembly.  Nothing else seemed good enough.  Cathy and i have attended numerous services during that period, and the Lord has graciously and mercifully provided us with consistent support in Christian fellowship and prayer, all praise and thanks be to Him.
     Near the end of 2002, both Mark Campbell and Tom Maddux contacted me, urging me to view the Geftakys Assembly website, which led me in turn to the Bulletin Board.  Both sites were instrumental in opening my eyes to the falsehood of Geftakysism, and the immensity of God's grace as shed upon us in His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ.  This was not instantaneous, but the awakening  has been gradual, as was the deception.
     When i first began posting on the bulletin board, it was to defend the Geftakys' and their followers against what i believed were too harsh criticism and condemnation.  It took some very severe slams at me, a lot of online teaching and preaching, and i'm certain a lot of prayer on my behalf before i began to realize the extent of the depravity of Geftakysism and the damage it has caused.  Eventually i saw enough of the light to renounce the Geftakys' as cult leaders and their teaching as a false religion.
     Between my earliest posts and the most recent, the evolution of my enlightenment and my faith seem plainly evident to me, but apparently not so to some others, hence this document.
     The Lord Jesus Christ alone bridges the gap between God and man:  there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved.  The Gospel is the biblical truth of God the Father's sending and sacrificing of His Beloved Son for our sakes, to bring whosoever will to Himself.  Jesus Christ is the fulfillment of all the Law of God and the prophets, having faithfully borne our sins in Himself in His crucifixion, and having been raised up from the dead and seated in heaven at the right hand of the Father.  In Christ dwells all the fulness of the Godhead bodily, and He has made us partakers with Him of that Divine Nature, and granted to us grace, even for the receiving of the grace He has granted us.
     This Gospel is worthy of all acceptance, and as such is to be preached and defended:  That is, if any other gospel is preached, it is to be vehemently denied and exposed and those who preach a false gospel, if they repeatedly refuse rebuke and counsel, are to be shunned.  This is the work that the Holy Spirit of God does in and through His saints:  the Comforter, convincing the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment.
     If i have posted or otherwise said anything which has seemed contrary to the above statements, i repent of such saying and ask your forgiveness.   i have spoken from my heart, but not always wisely, clearly or well.
     This letter is sent via Email to individuals directly affected, and is posted openly as a new thread on the BB.
     If both the Lord's return and my home-going are delayed, i will doubtless err again.  Please bear with me, correct me, and above all intercede for me in prayer.
     Receive this in the Love in which it is sent...
Your brother in Jesus Christ our Lord,
al Hartman

[jackhutchinson]

Al,

Way to go!  That encourages me.

Jack

[editor]

I have to disagree with Jack.

I have no idea what the heck you are talking about in your apology.

If i have posted or otherwise said anything which has seemed contrary to the above statements, i repent of such saying and ask your forgiveness.  i have spoken from my heart, but not always wisely, clearly or well.

Sorry Al, this is Assembly-speak.  What do you mean "If" I have posted otherwise?  Did you or didn't you?
What are you apologizing/confessing/testifying to?

Thanks for letting up know that you haven't had much fellowship since 1980, but what is it you are trying to say?

Speak clearly.  You spoke most clearly in your post about "cringing and shuddering."  You were quite clear, but totally wrong.  What you said in that very misinformed and foolish line of thinking, along with what went on in the background, is the principle thing that has all but destroyed this BB.

I am not the least bit comforted by your vagueness, and I don't receive this drivel as any sort of apology or confession.  What is it you are confessing to?  

"If I have offended you, I am sorry."  Al, I hate that kind of garbage, and so does God.  All this type of statement does is put the blame on the person you wronged, because they are offended.  You don't say what you did, or why it was offensive, no, you just let the party you wronged know that if you might have done something, you feel sorry.  What a crock!

I reject this, and hopefully everyone else will too.  This is the kind of garbage we had crammed down our throats by LB's in the Assembly, and I won't receive it, nor give it any creedence, not for one minute.

What did you do Al?  Why was it wrong?  What is it you are repenting of?

That is, if any other gospel is preached, it is to be vehemently denied and exposed and those who preach a false gospel, if they repeatedly refuse rebuke and counsel, are to be shunned.  This is the work that the Holy Spirit of God does in and through His saints:  the Comforter, convincing the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment.

Yep.

Wise up....I do not apologize for the harsh tone.  On the contrary, if you are going to deceive yourself or others into thinking that what you wrote is any kind of apology, I would be unfaithful in letting it go by.  Sentiments are meaningless.  What, specifically, is it you are confessing, Al?

Brent

[al Hartman]

     In a recent post (Existing Assemblies, July 21, 2003), Brent Tr0ckman quoted from a webpage:    
     http://www.reveal.org/library/stories/people/kdegge.html

and suggested everyone read the entire page.   i humbly second his suggestion.

     A part of the page which Brent didn't quote says:

    ...The only thing worse than doing nothing with people so affected is to plunge in, without deliberate training and preparation, and "fly by the seat of your pants."

     This strikes home for me because it is exactly what i did upon entering into the fellowship of the GA bulletin board.  In all the passage of time since my departure from the assemblies, through the years of not attending Christian gatherings, some of those years even of showing virtually no outward evidence of being a believer, God never left me alone.  And, in spite of myself, because of His great faithfulness and the prayers & fellowship of others, i continued to learn, while often not realizing i was learning.
     The fall of Geftakysism indirectly provided, through the website & the BB, a spiritual awakening in me.  As a part of this awakening, much of what i had been taught throughout my lifetime, before, within, and after my assembly years, began to become clear to me for the first time.

     My greatest error at that time may have been to presume my inner enlightenment to have been a sending rather than a calling.  There is no doubt to me that the Lord was calling me to Himself, as He always has and ever will.  But i presumed to be wise enough to act upon the things i saw without due study, prayer and consideration & counsel.
     Brent once asked me in a post who i thought the shepherds of the BB were.   i thought he was trying to trap me, so i denied him a forthright answer.  But the truth is (which i suppose he suspected) that i considered myself a shepherd of the BB.   i was honest with myself in this thinking:  my purpose was to bless the flock and to please the Good Shepherd.  But i was presumptuous:   i was not well prepared, equipped, nor had i been truly assigned to such a high calling.   i thought myself wiser and deeper than i had a right to do.  i may have desired the recognition due a shepherd, but i was not responsible as a shepherd must be.

     The BB is a place for open discussion and expression of opinion, and i hope to not give anyone the impression that i did wrongly in discussing or expressing my views.  But i was wrong in presuming to challenge the authority of others' views and opinions as if i alone had/have an inside track with God.  It remains for me to repent of  (meaning to recant of and discontinue the practice of) such behavior, and to confess specifically to having expressed it in various words and attitudes toward Brent Tr0ckman, Verne Carty, and Arthur, and to having paraded my foolishness, in front of all, as if it had been wisdom.   In addition, i was thoughtlessly presumptuous in my use of what i considered humor toward Eulaha Long, and may have caused Brian Tucker undue grief at having to evaluate my posts and their effects upon others.
     Apart from all other considerations, i ask your forgiveness for these transgressions, and your counsel at present and in the future.
     i am grateful for God's faithfulness, especially as expressed in your posts, mailings, and above all your prayers for me.
---------------------------------------------------------
This letter is sent directly to those whom it directly concerns, and it is posted for all to benefit by.  If you believe it falls short, please notify me directly in addition to what you may post as to  what you think is missing.  Or, if you are patient, just continue praying for me-- it's working...

Gratefully in Jesus Christ,
al Hartman

[amycahill]

You didn't address this to me, Al, but it answers something I perceived.

It bothered me that you seemed to want people to forgive (a good thing, mind you) prematurely.  I will hold to death that people MUST process their pain before they can achieve authentic forgiveness.  That is the path, and it must be taken.  It is a path of obedience, in my opinion.

I do agree that willfully hanging on to, or staying willfully "stuck" in your misery is probably not advisable.

Thanks for writing all this!