Yes, it is hard to be called a liar, isn't it? Perhaps we can just pause for a moment here and consider how painful that is. YOu finally have the courage to say what you could never say because you knew no one would believe you and then...Liar Liar! is what you get in return. Recently, I did some more confronting in the form of a letter to a former leading brother here in Estevan. I'll post it
Dear Garnet and Margaret,
I’ve put off this letter far too long. There are some things I need to tell you.
I’m of a bad conscience holding this information back. My concern is that the
mindset of George Geftakys is still infecting Estevan, dividing and wounding people.
Though I’ve been away from the assembly many years, I am still navigating my way
through the twisted teachings and sorting out, keeping what is true.
Garnet, when we spoke and you said “If I’ve offended you in any way...” I said
no, you hadn’t. I am not offended by you. But there are others that I think you need
to speak to. My sister, for example, who lived in your home, was devastated many
times by the overwhelming control, emotional and ‘spiritual’ bullying that happened
to her continually while in the assembly. I know that you factor heavily into that
equation. Though many ‘meant well’ because they were ‘only standing for us’ as they
believed, they did the devil’s work. Instead of edifying, they tore down, shamed and
stepped on others. This happened to Suzanne. Do you remember?
I know that we have selective memories, that there are many things we said or
did in the assembly that we saw through a filter, George’s perspective. I encourage
you to take a good look at those acts you did in the Lord’s name and service and ask
yourself: was this abuse? I am writing to you now because I think you can receive it.
I was encouraged by our phone conversation and I believe it would help both you, my
sister, and others, if we all did some soul searching. And by soul searching, I do not at
all mean what George and Betty gave: “If you are offended, then I’m sorry you choose
to see things that way.” or Mike’s take on an apology (slightly different but still not
taking ownership): “I’m sorry for being influenced by George”. I’m talking about
really owning our own actions. I believe this is truly healing for all those affected.
I have come to the place in my life where I see just what I did to my sister,
Suzanne. I shut my ears up to her simply because she did not conform to assembly
ways. I did not listen to her, refused to consider what she had to say. She cried alone.
I waited for her repentance, not seeing she had been wronged. We told people that
because they left the assembly, they left the Lord. What right did we have to say that?
When people buckled under the unreasonable pressures and bullying, we pushed them
out of our lives and wiped our hands, praying only for their ‘repentance’. Have we
repented for what we did to them. And me too, I held George’s assembly (that idol
that took the place of God and determined God’s will in my life) and it’s instruction,
over my love for my own sister. I basically called her a liar. When she sought
fellowship with God and his people and was continually crushed instead by the
assembly who pointed only to her ‘deficits’ as a Christian, she gave up. She was
labeled ‘fallen away’ she was crippled, shunned, written off. And that was the love of
God? And I, thinking myself more spiritual because I turned my back on her, shut my
ears to her, added to her pain. How was this the Love of Christ manifest? How was
this spiritual. Suzanne I use as an example. We know how many others who were
treated just as shamefully.
George’s teaching has done much to separate families and devastate
individuals. He was a bully. Mike Zach towed George’s line and so here in Estevan
there are casualties too, besides my sister. I’ll name Cara and Brian Daae. How were
they loved, built up, encouraged? Or were they instead put down, blamed, shamed?
Is your conscience at all pricked? No, sure, according to George, if they’d only
submitted they’d have been fine. But, as I learned the hard way, George wanted us
not just submitting to God, but to George, to absolute control to George and his mind,
not God’s love. George, who set himself in the place of God, our barrier, anti-Christ
is still circulating in our veins. George taught us to point at darkness and cruelty and
call it ‘Standing for the Lord’, to call it: light. You can’t spend that many hours
listening to tape ministry and to one another spouting George’s understanding and
claim, as some dare to claim: we weren’t influenced all that much by George here.
That is blindness. And as George would have advised, many people stay off the
assembly reflections website because they yet hold unquestioned allegiance to George
and his assembly machine. Or perhaps, leaders we respected tell us to stay off that
site because there, they too are shown in all their false righteousness, and they’d
rather that we not see it. I challenge that kind of thinking. My story, which you have
never heard, is told on the website. You have never heard it, because when I tried to
come back to the assembly, I knew you would never receive it. So I did not tell it.
Now, it’s posted, if you can receive it. It’s the truth. I’ve posted it for all to read,
shameful as it is. I hide nothing.
So many now accept that ‘George fell’ but have not yet questioned what
George taught. I have sorted out a few things in that regard. I don’t claim to know
very much, but I know this much: there is a strong tendency among many assembly
sympathizers to conclude: yes, perhaps George sinned (a little) but all that he taught is
still valuable. There hasn’t been a halt and consider what exactly George taught.
How many are still implementing his teachings in their own lives? How dangerous
this is. George viewed all the world through a little pinhole and told us to do the
same. We were not to consider ‘outside’ opinions. We were to stay off the Internet
because (perhaps since George didn’t post there) it was probably all lies, we were
told. The devil’s work. But I challenge this kind of thinking. After all, whose work
was George doing? A veil has been separating good intentioned Christians from
God’s love and understanding for a terribly long time. Now that George is gone, it all
depends on what side of the veil you’re on, or how much of the veil you’ve
swallowed, or how much permanent damage has been done to your perception, your
‘heavenly vision’ as George liked to put it. What do you think his ‘heavenly vision’
really was? The veil is of the mind. The darkness and deceit is a way of thinking.
Please challenge George’s thinking in your own mind.
Also, I have concluded, for those who gained some sense of status from
George’s hierarchy, i.e.: leadership position, it is much harder to really see how
damaging George’s teachings are. Those who were workers, who had so many
opportunities already to have their consciences seared, are especially reluctant to
relinquish the teachings. But the teachings may be summarized in this: the
annihilation of the individual, the erasure of the personality, replaced with assembly
speak, brain shut off, robotics. Question nothing. George laid a claim to godliness but
denied the power of God, indeed, denied God’s spirit an opportunity to work. Instead,
the assembly leaders established their own power, over others. And to consider that
this may be repeated in Estevan is very sad to me.
I am at peace with God, with my own conscience. I make no great claims to
be anything spiritual. I do not tell great stories as George did about how demon
possessed people shrank before him or how godly his children were, indeed in his
own family, when unspeakable abuse went on right under his own nose, the helpless
were told to submit to it. The abused were told that it was because of their own sins
that their abusers were driven by God to punish them. We deny the truth because we
do not wish to hear it, and we remain dirty ourselves. Do you see this?
I am searching the scriptures now for what God says, and seeing that George
twisted scripture for his own gain. I just believe God. I just trust that God will heal
those maimed and wounded by the abusive structure George established. Please
consider what I have written. If you should like to discuss it, my email is
crocusqueen@hotmail.com. If you wish to ignore me, or take offense at what I’ve
written, please consider that those who love God’s law (which is love) have great
peace and nothing shall offend them. I am in love with that law, its unconditional
kindness to me. And please believe me when I say, that toward both of you I extend
that same unconditional kindness. Let us wash our hands. Many can heal when we
acknowledge our part in the wounds that have been inflicted. Perhaps the confessor
heals most.
May God heal you,
Delila
- we don’t know what we shall be
but we know we shall be like him
for we shall see him as he is
-there is a crack, a crack in everything
that’s how the light gets in
that’s how the light gets in
that’s how the light gets in (L. Cohen)