My son emailed the following to me, a series of utterances attributed to children. Probably some adult made them up, but they
could have been said by kids, and should make those of us who are parents stop & think as we chuckle...
3-year-old, Reese:
"Our Father, Who does art in
heaven, Harold is His name.
Amen."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you
can't make me a better
boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good
time like I am."
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A Sunday school class was studying the Ten
Commandments. They were ready to
discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone
could tell her what it
was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
"Thou shall not take
the covers off the neighbor's wife."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the
way home in the back seat of the car. His father
asked him three times what
was wrong. Finally, the boy replied,
"That preacher
said he wanted us
brought up in a
Christian home, and
I wanted to stay
with you guys."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter,
Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer
for several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat
after me the lines from
the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo.
I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated
each word right up to the
end of the prayer:
"Lead us not into temptation,"
she prayed,
"but deliver
us some E-mail.
Amen."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
and one particular four-year-old prayed,
"And
forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they
were on the way to
church service, "And why is it necessary to be
quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied,
"Because people are
sleeping."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel
were sitting together
in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough. You're not supposed to talk out
loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel
asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
"See those two men
standing by the door?
They're hushers."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin,
5, Ryan 3. The boys
began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the
opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were
sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'"
Kevin turned to his
younger brother and said,
"Ryan, you be Jesus!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A father was at the beach with his children when the
four- year-old son ran
up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay
dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the
son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
"Did God throw him back down?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table,
she turned to their
six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to
say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife
answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
"Lord, why on
earth did I invite all
these people to dinner?"