Beatitudes

I received the following email today from someone who recently told me that they really miss the assembly in SLO.

"DEVIL'S BEATITUDES Whew...talk about the hot seat!!!!

This one will make you stop and shudder! If the devil were to write his beatitudes, they would probably go something like this:

1. Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted
to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians -- they are my best workers.

2. Blessed are those Christians who wait to be asked and expect to be thanked -- I can use them.

3. Blessed are the touchy who stop going to church -- they are my missionaries.

4. Blessed are the trouble makers -- they shall be called my children.

5. Blessed are the complainers -- I'm all ears to them.

6. Blessed are those who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes -- for they get nothing out of his sermons.

7. Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church -- for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.

8. Blessed are those who gossip -- for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.

9. Blessed are those who are easily offended -- for they will soon get angry and quit.

10. Blessed are those who do not give their offering to carry on God's work -- for they are my helpers.

11. Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister -- for he shall be with me forever.

12. Blessed are you who, when you read this think it is about other people and not yourself -- I've got you too!

(Heaven forbid!) PASS THIS ON, WE ALL NEED TO BE REMINDED THAT THIS CAN HAPPEN TO ANY CHRISTIAN, INCLUDING YOU AND ME.
If God brings you to it...He will bring you through it!!"

Here is my list of Beattitudes for false religious leaders.

Assembly Beattitudes

Blessed are the gullible, for they shall believe my lies.

Blessed are those who equate loyalty to me with loyalty to God, for they shall never hold me accountable for my actions.

Blessed are those who aren’t interested in the context of Bible passages, for I shall easily twist the Scirptures for them.

Blessed are the proud, for they shall never admit that I deceived them.

Blessed are those who are not shocked by the truth, for it shall take great trauma to wake them out of their stupor.

Blessed are those who speak words with double meaning, for they shall always be able to say, “I never said that!”

Blessed are those who slander the whistleblowers, for they shall enjoy my flattery and affection.

Blessed are those who don’t think they are being manipulated, for I have them right where I want them.

Blessed are those who don’t mind being manipulated, for they shall give all their time, energy and money to serve my selfish agenda.

Blessed are the spiritually blind, for they shall never see that the emporer has no clothes.

Blessed are those who ignore Jesus’ anger with the Pharisees, for they shall always think it is sin to be angry with me.

Blessed are the blind guides, for they know not that I am a wolf.

Blessed are the cowardly leaders, for they shall not openly opose me.

Blessed are the corrupt leaders, for they know that what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

Blessed are those who dread my guilt-laden lectures about service, for they shall always go on outreach (even though I rarely do).

Blessed are those who blame my victims, for they shall never blame me.

Blessed are those who have no sympathy for those whom I’ve hurt and betrayed, for they shall not comfort them in their sorrow."

On the contrary, the Bible says, “He restores my soul.” (Ps 23:2). Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Mt. 5:3-4). Jesus ‘had compassion on [the crowds], because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.’ (Mt. 9:36). In other words, Jesus comforted the oppressed and was angry with the false leaders of His day.

Jack