Brother George for Governor

[M2]

One moment of seriousness - I got a private message asking me if any of these articles are true.  I just wanted to be perfectly clear that this whole thread "Brother George for Governor" (letters, articles, etc.) is completely satire.  

So, undercomer humor writers unite and help the "Brother George for Governor" legacy continue.

Have at it, boys (and girls).

-Dave

Shucks! I was really starting to see the light and launch on the Vote for GG campaign.
Oh well.

Marcia

[Joe Sperling]

Satire?  yeah, right. I called "Monica Velcro"(the shop owner in Redlands) and asked who she was voting for. She said she was going to vote for "a George Garbanzo, because he made a personal appearance here and seems to care". She really enjoyed his campaign style also, as did many others.

On the news last night they said that George is slowly gaining on the competition and now holds 1.3% of the vote!! His new slogan "Are you with me friends?" can be seen on more and more billboards, and he is pursuing televison advertisements!

The tide is turning!! Vote for George!!

 

[al Hartman]

     Unfortunately, here in Ohio we don't see much campaign material for California elections, but i have managed to garner the following information from the internet:
     Gary Coleman (who was incensed at the suggestion that he should serve as GG's Lt. Governor) is quoted as saying, "Who is this George Gettaxes, anyway?  Who ever heard of him?"  Coleman called for a complete disclosure of GG's financial records for the past three decades.
     Larry Flynt reportedly said, "I can't believe this guy is running against me.  He's been one of my best subscribers for years-- why would he turn against me like this?"
     Arnold Schwartzenegger could not be reached for comment, but was reportedly video taped by a news team, bending steel bars into the capital letter G, and burying them in the yard of his home.
     These and many other items of interest can be viewed at        http://www.briantucker.net/bb/index.php?board=6&action=display&threadid=514&start=0

[H]

This article fails to mention George, but parts of it are rather funny anyway:
http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/6594945.htm

H

[outdeep]

Wow.  This story just broke yesterday.  I wonder if it is going to affect Brother George's standing in the polls?

-Dave
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Geftakys May Have Sordid Past

October 6, 2003 - Los Angeles Times

Just one day before the fateful California recall election, officials confirmed stories of impropriety of the relatively unknown candidate George Geftakys.  According to sources, Mr. Geftakys was a leader of a small religious fringe group in Southern California.  Known affectionately by members as “Brother George”, he worked to give a dose of the gospel to the hippies of the early 1970’s.

However, according to several confirmed stories, several women in the group are accusing Mr. Geftakys of sexual misconduct.  Concern is also being raised of 30 years of financial activity within the group without any accounting, a belligerent managerial style and what former members call “an abuse of apostolic authority”.  

Mr. Geftakys refused to give a personal interview, however he made several comments to his few remaining supporters likening the accusations to “those who tried to stop Nehemiah from building the walls.  But, we won’t be deterred, dear friends.  We will shore up the testimony!”

Reporters were prevented from coming into the building where Mr. Geftakys was speaking by young college students in suit and ties that referred to themselves as doorkeepers and the reporters as deceived.

“It doesn’t make any difference to the world at large,” said one astute outside observer, “his popularity was so dismal he was influencing very few.  It’s just sad to see him keep going.  He’s like the energizer bunny that keeps going and going while all the children are out playing football.”

Supporters for Geftakys still maintain that “the Bible says, ‘Behold, I do a new thing’” and anticipate things to turn around.

[Joe Sperling]

Lies!!! Lies!!! This is a last minute attempt to besmirch the character of an upstanding man of moral fortitude and honor. This lady, Maude Culpepper, who claims to have photos of herself massaging George's feet while wearing a teddy is a complete fabricator of the truth!! The other 31 women coming forward are all posers too!!! Don't listen to them!! It's a blatant attempt to keep you from the polls.  They are just afraid George will become the next governor!! And he will if we all stand our ground and vote!!

Are you with me friends??

[vernecarty]

Lies!!! Lies!!! The other 31 women coming forward are all posers too!!! Don't listen to them!!

You mean the other 32 women?  

Lies!!! Lies!!! This is a last minute attempt to besmirch the character of an upstanding man of moral fortitude...

I also take it that you meant to say moral turpitude...?

Joe if you are going to report on this Governor's election you are just going to have to get these important facts right!  
Verne

[Joe Sperling]

I stand corrected. What I meant to say is that George is a man of high moral turpentine, and they are seeking to besmirch his character. Don't fall for it.



--Joe