psalm51
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« Reply #60 on: January 27, 2004, 07:39:10 am » |
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Below is a word for word transcript of an email I received recently from someone who received it when they were a student on a campus in the assemblies. It was written in the fall of 1999 and illustrates the level of control that the assemblies and the campus work sought to have on others. I have removed all names out of respect for the privacy of those who received the email. Suffice it to say that three of the recipients were newly involved and wisely didn't stay involved very long:
"Dear Fellowlaborers,
As some of you already know, I am responsible for the campus booktable and prayer meeting this semester. Consequently, I wanted to use our new group e-mailer to just let you know a few things about this ministry.
1. New campus workers - ___,____,____,____, and ___ should each schedule a individual meeting with me sometime in the next few weeks. I want to discuss basic aspects about the ministry and to find out how each of you are doing. I am free every morning for breakfast except Thursday as well as for Wednesday lunches.
2. Please communicate with me about anything and everything having to do with the booktable, prayer meeting, rally, duties, etc. I want to know when there is a problem or when you cannot make it to an activity. We stand together for each other in this ministry by communicating with one another, taking counsel with one another, and in prayer. So please let me know if you cannot make a booktable or prayer meeting.
3. The gospel rally next Friday from noon to 1 PM is not optional (underlined). I give you this notice so that those of you who have class can make any necessary alternative arrangements with your Profs and TAs. I expect you to either be there or to see me about why you cannot be there (underlined). I do not expect everyone to share a message at that time but I do expect that you will talk to me if you cannot. Your contribution is very needful whether or not you share.
4. The Lord has entrusted us with a stewardship in the campus ministry. The only requirement of stewards if FAITHFULNESS (underlined). Success in the campus ministry is not based on gifts, experience, numbers, flashy banners, etc...but on faithfulness to what the Lord calls us to do. If you commit to stewardship (even just being at a certain place at a certain time) be FAITHFUL to it or let me know so that you can be let of of your commitment. Please keep this in mind as the stewardship is something we all share equally, my contribution being no greater than yours.
5. Please contact me IN ADVANCE if you cannot make a booktable or prayer meeting (underlined). My phone number is______and my email is ______.
6. In general, see me BEFORE you schedule meetings (even with ____(an LB) during booktable. There are over 100 other hours in the week to meet with people (underlined) so at least try to talk with me before you schedule a meeting during that time. Also, booktable time is not a good time to schedule anchor groups or to meet with your TA.
7. I know that many of you are VERY BUSY. Please talk with me if your duties in the campus ministry are becoming too demanding. We all stand together and will try out best to help relieve you of any overtaxing burdens. Just let me know.
8. Booktables on Tuesday begin at 11 AM and end at 1 PM and on Thursday begin at 11 AM. From now on we will have the booktable set up prior to 11 AM and taken down at (not 15 min. before) 1 PM. This will begin tomorrow when I arrive at 10:45 to set up the booktable before the rest of you arrive.
In a related note, either be on time or let me know that you can't be on time. (underlined).
9. Next semester we will have our booktables at the same time so please leave your schedules open during that time.
10. If any of these things present a problem, just let me know. The point is not to just burden you with rules and regulations but to teach you to labor with others. (underlined) Please see ME if you have any questions about these things or if you just want to talk about the campus ministry in general.
In Christ,
___________"
Many of the elements of an abusive system are there, I think. Thank you again, Brent, for the website and how God used it in our lives to deliver us. One year away from the assembly and counting! PTL
Pat Mathews
:D
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« Last Edit: January 27, 2004, 07:45:57 am by Pat Mathews »
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editor
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« Reply #61 on: January 27, 2004, 08:17:25 am » |
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Below is a word for word transcript of an email I received recently from someone who received it when they were a student on a campus in the assemblies. It was written in the fall of 1999 and illustrates the level of control that the assemblies and the campus work sought to have on others. I have removed all names out of respect for the privacy of those who received the email. Suffice it to say that three of the recipients were newly involved and wisely didn't stay involved very long:
UGGHH! That thing makes me sick! The reason is not so much because of all the control language, but because I could have written that 6 years ago! I lapped up that kind of garbage for most of my adult life! Sick, Sick Sick!! How much sweeter tastes the free air and living water! Brent |
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M2
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« Reply #62 on: January 27, 2004, 08:40:02 am » |
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We have been criticized for participating in this board. Part of our recovery process has been to say to the critics, Yes, it's us, the formerly too quiet ones discussing these things. If you think that's wrong, fine, that's your opinion. We refuse the idea that it is personal attacks, slander or anything else, to break the assembly code of silence in this way.
Becky, You formerly too quiet one, I do so appreciate your perspective, and I am glad that you are not succumbing to the 'control tactics' of your critics. Participation on this BB merits one the honor of 'exclusion' by those who are 'assembly' sympathetic. Lord bless, Marcia |
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moonflower2
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« Reply #63 on: January 27, 2004, 10:12:53 am » |
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10. If any of these things present a problem, just let me know. The point is not to just burden you with rules and regulations but to teach you to labor with others.
Incredible. Where is the emoticon that looks like it's going to vomit? I hope none of my boys were victims of this.  |
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editor
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« Reply #64 on: January 27, 2004, 10:13:23 am » |
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We have been criticized for participating in this board. Part of our recovery process has been to say to the critics, Yes, it's us, the formerly too quiet ones discussing these things. If you think that's wrong, fine, that's your opinion. We refuse the idea that it is personal attacks, slander or anything else, to break the assembly code of silence in this way.
Becky, You formerly too quiet one, I do so appreciate your perspective, and I am glad that you are not succumbing to the 'control tactics' of your critics. Participation on this BB merits one the honor of 'exclusion' by those who are 'assembly' sympathetic. Lord bless, Marcia Yes, Those who would still enforce the Code will exclude BB users, but remember, it was worse before we broke the code! 18 months ago, they would have yanked your inheritance and shut you out of "the Kingdom."  They are so much kinder now! Brent |
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d3z
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« Reply #65 on: January 27, 2004, 10:16:15 am » |
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One year ago, today, was my first Sunday at my new church. I went, expecting to be disappointed by the worship, and to find the ministry shallow. I was wrong on both accounts. I very much enjoyed the worship (but I don't think Clarence would  ). I still very much enjoy the preaching/teaching. It's taken a lot to get out of so many assembly mindsets. There was a men's retreat soon after I started. I didn't consider whether or not I wanted to go, I just signed up. The funny part is that only about 10 people from my church went. I really wasn't very good. Now, I realize that I don't have to go to everything. |
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M2
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« Reply #66 on: January 27, 2004, 10:48:12 am » |
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Those who would still enforce the Code will exclude BB users, but remember, it was worse before we broke the code! 18 months ago, they would have yanked your inheritance and shut you out of "the Kingdom." They are so much kinder now! Brent You are so right! Claude and I were talking tonight about assembly matters on the way to the Alpha Course. We agreed that if we had left the assembly (prior to when we actually did leave) because we could not handle the pressure of assembly life, then we would likely have been devastated. We would have felt like we were leaving God's covering, and that we were no longer in the center of His will and purpose for us etc. Amazing!! Now we are clear as to the reason for our departure. And the others who have also left are happy and radiant whenever I see them. Lord bless, Marcia |
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« Last Edit: January 28, 2004, 09:51:33 am by Marcia »
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jesusfreak
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« Reply #67 on: January 28, 2004, 01:12:40 am » |
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Below is a word for word transcript of an email I received recently from someone who received it when they were a student on a campus in the assemblies. It was written in the fall of 1999 and illustrates the level of control that the assemblies and the campus work sought to have on others. I have removed all names out of respect for the privacy of those who received the email. Suffice it to say that three of the recipients were newly involved and wisely didn't stay involved very long:
The following is this person's followup email resulting from what was hopefully anger by the original recipients of the email. I find it a good example of demonstrated self-justification for the standards expressed in the Assembly: (again, names removed) " Dear Fellowlaborers, After talking with some of you, I just wanted to clarify a few things. 1. The point of the earlier message is that youo should really try and talk to me when you know ahead of time that you cannot be at booktable. If something comes up at the last minute and you are unable to contact me then just talk to me afterwards. 2. Regarding the "not optional" status of the rally, the point which I was trying to make is that the rally is an actual Bible Club event - so take it seroiusly, try your very best to be there, and let me know if you cannot. I am sorry if it sounded like I was condemming anyone who cannot make it to that time. 3. I also wanted to clarify my last comment about meeting with "ME" regarding any problems. Please meet with ME for any booktable or prayer meeting problems but please feel free to meet with _____ or ______or myself for general campus questions. My main burden of the last message came about as a result of a large number of booktable absences without telling me beforehand or talking to me afterwards (of the five people who did not even bother to attend our last gospel rally only 1 told me in advance) as well as several communications problems that have existed in the past (of the four people who did come to the rally only two were prepared to share). Also, I am informed that some of you are apprehensive about booktable or really don't fell that the Lord has called you into that knid of evangelism yet. Consequently, I wanted to encourage you to communicate with me about these kinds of things rrather than just leave me expecting that you will be at the booktable and ready to share. Please feel free to let me (or others) know if you have any questions about these things. In Christ, ______________ " I love how the constant expectation was that EVERYONE would be called into EVERY form of outreach EVENTUALLY. Talk about universal and unrealistic expectations......no wonder there existed a hierarchy  -- lucas |
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BeckyW
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« Reply #68 on: January 30, 2004, 07:54:03 am » |
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Below is a word for word transcript of an email I received recently from someone who received it when they were a student on a campus This seems to be a case of the unwritten rules being written down. How many would have stayed around if it had been this clear up front what was involved when you "made yourself available"? Very interesting. It usually took a much longer time to find out what was really expected of us. Becky |
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sfortescue
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« Reply #69 on: February 13, 2004, 09:06:00 am » |
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One year ago today the Lord gave me a promise so that I would not be discouraged by the difficult circumstances.
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Scott McCumber
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« Reply #70 on: February 13, 2004, 09:27:50 am » |
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One year ago today the Lord gave me a promise so that I would not be discouraged by the difficult circumstances.
Can you share it? |
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Uh Oh
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« Reply #71 on: February 17, 2004, 04:43:29 am » |
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Below is a word for word transcript of an email I received recently from someone who received it when they were a student on a campus This seems to be a case of the unwritten rules being written down. How many would have stayed around if it had been this clear up front what was involved when you "made yourself available"? Very interesting. It usually took a much longer time to find out what was really expected of us. Becky Campus Mininstry brings back some pretty funny memories....At least it's funny now. Shortly after Tim Geffatass and I had our little run in California, I transferred from Wayne State to UNO. I had already made my mind up to transfer prior to going out to the Winter Boringar in Fullerton, but prior to my run in, was all fired up to be involved with the campus ministry in Omaha. After Tim Geftacobell and I had our "discussion", my desire to do anything with the ministry, much less be involved with the campus ministry was lukewarm at best. I remember going out "witnessing" to different ones. Looking back, the should have called it "harassing"...I remember these poor souls would be minding their business, studying or reading a book in the student union or outside on a nice day, and we would go up and just hammer them. We were such a nuisance. The won't take no for an answer attitude had to be a total turn off. It really didn't matter. I got up midway through my third Sunday "worship" and got the hell out of there. |
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sfortescue
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« Reply #72 on: February 17, 2004, 09:18:58 am » |
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Can you share it? What I can say is that it was combined with a kind of rebuke about the way that I occasionally offend people by accidentally saying the wrong thing. Perhaps it happens more often than I realize since my perception of such things isn't all that clear, nor my understanding of people. (A long time ago I remember accidentally calling someone by the name of a very unpopular lower form of life, then proceeded to botch my attempt to apologize. Fortunately, this very nice person quickly forgave me.) The Lord's kindness and love for me was evident because what was a rather stern rebuke was mixed with the promise in such a way that it hardly seemed like a rebuke at all. I am inclined to believe that the Lord indicated the need for carefulness about such offences because his future for me includes being among people who must not be offended. I think that my participation on this BB is practice for future situations of much greater significance than here. |
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sfortescue
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« Reply #73 on: February 20, 2004, 06:42:36 am » |
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One year ago today, having asked the Lord about how to be better prepared for his plans, he reminded me of an incident in which I couldn't quite remember who this person was that I was greeting but who seemed vaguely familiar.
It was another way to offend people: not to remember them. More indication from the Lord that my social skills need to improve.
It was evident that the Lord wanted me to pay more attention and remember people. While thinking about this, I started trying to think back and remember people from the past. Then I searched the internet for the name "George Geftakys" and found the Rick Ross site and the Geftakys Assembly site.
These problems with social skills seem hard for me to overcome. At the get together in memory of Marc Arambula I managed to offend a few more people who might not speak to me again. ... Pray for me.
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Joe Sperling
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« Reply #74 on: February 20, 2004, 07:09:06 am » |
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Stephen---
If it's not too personal, can I ask how you think you may have offended people at the gathering for Marc Arambula? I was unable to attend that day. Do you mean because you couldn't remember people? Or just your general conversation with people?
The reason I ask is because I have noticed(I get very self-concious at times) that often we blow things way out of proportion concerning social situations. I've gone out of my way to apologize for some perceived social blunder, only to find out that the person either didn't remember what I'd done, or to them it was such a small thing it wasn't worth thinking about a minute after it happened. Many of the people you may think you have offended might greet you with a warm smile, having forgotten anything that may have been offensive. I thought I'd just throw that out there, because I've found it so often to be true.
God bless you Stephen, Joe
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