Jeff Lehmkuhl, The Addict

[Arthur]

It turns out that at least Jeff and Roberto were not at all sincere.  The whole thing was a ploy to get me to shut up for them. I still believe different for Danny.

They weren't giving God any worship.  They remain liars.

Brent

Sucks.  

[Suzie Trockman]

Yes Arthur, it does suck! But, I still believe that there were many in that room who were very sincere and repentant and we did witness God's miraculous healing and incredible joy that day.  I see that I have been made the fool again.  You see, I really believed that these leading brothers were sincere in their repentance and the letter they wrote.  Can you imagine the hurt we felt when a leading brother came clean and basically said,"The only reason we met with you (and our pastor), was to get you to shut up and close down the internet site." I was completly devastated . That feeling has returned.  

The other day I had the unpleasant opportunity to see my dog vomit.  What was even worse (way worse) was seeing her AND our 8 week old puppy start EATTING it! I felt nothing but embarrassment and humor (we had some dear friends over) at the time  but now I see it as a picture of Jeff Lehmkuhl returning to his own vomit, that yoke of  bondage.  My friend pointed out, "You guys gave the Ipacac, but they didn't want to throw up."  Well Jeff, enjoy your "second" course.

Bon Appetit!
Suzie

[Arthur]

But, I still believe that there were many in that room who were very sincere and repentant and we did witness God's miraculous healing and incredible joy that day.

Thank God for that.  These are dear friends.

I see that I have been made the fool again.  You see, I really believed that these
leading brothers were sincere in their repentance and the letter they wrote.  Can you imagine the hurt we felt when a leading brother came clean and basically said,"The only reason we met with you (and our pastor), was to get you to shut up and close down the internet site." I was completly devastated . That feeling has returned.  

The other day I had the unpleasant opportunity to see my dog vomit.  What was even worse (way worse) was seeing her AND our 8 week old puppy start EATTING it! I felt nothing but embarrassment and humor (we had some dear friends over) at the time  but now I see it as a picture of Jeff Lehmkuhl returning to his own vomit, that yoke of  bondage.  My friend pointed out, "You guys gave the Ipacac, but they didn't want to throw up."  Well Jeff, enjoy your "second" course.

Bon Appetit!
Suzie

Wasn't the lowest hell in Dante's inferno occupied by those who betrayed a friend's trust?
That vomit analogy really hits it.  Yelch!  Reminds me of Poltergeist II (I don't recommend it) where the guy coffs up a 200 pound demon.  What Jeff spewed out was nothing other than evil, and now he's slurping it back up. <shakes head>  You guys did your best, I wouldn't feel too bad about it.  Though I don't want to minimize the pain that it caused, I totally know how you feel.  But I don't think there's much more that could be done about guys like him.  Looks like that's just the nature of the beast.  

In retrospect, this might have been a fascinating encounter with brute beasts in their natural habitat that we would otherwise only have read about, kinda like Gorilla's in the Mist -- make it, Dogs and Pigs in the Mist.  Well, it would've been were it not for the bite marks they left.

Arthur

[M2]

Yes Arthur, it does suck! But, I still believe that there were many in that room who were very sincere and repentant and we did witness God's miraculous healing and incredible joy that day.  I see that I have been made the fool again.  You see, I really believed that these leading brothers were sincere in their repentance and the letter they wrote.  Can you imagine the hurt we felt when a leading brother came clean and basically said,"The only reason we met with you (and our pastor), was to get you to shut up and close down the internet site." I was completly devastated . That feeling has returned.  
...
Suzie

Suzie,

This should encourage you.  A sister who had left the Ottawa assembly, about 11 years ago now, discovered the GA website last fall.  Margaret put her in touch with me and we have been phoning each other ever since.  She thought only Ottawa had had the problems, for which she left in the first place.  She was surprised to learn that similar problems existed in all the Geftakys assemblies.  Anyway, recently she asked me to gather some info from the internet on ICOC in the Hamilton Ontario area.  She passed on the info to the parent of the boy who was being recruited via outreach at a university campus in the area.  The son backed off from joining the group as a result.  So websites can be effective in saving people from cults, as it has been to deliver us from Geftakysism.  I, for one, am thankful that you and Brent did what you did.

Lord bless,
Marcia

P.S. Hi robkaz2!

[Recovering Saint]

Hugh, you could be the next Jim Jones.    

I'll leave that to someone in leadership.

I just call them as I see them.  

I think people need to see how serious this all is. The dog with the vomit is a good way to put it. You would not believe what people will do until you see it happen. Pride and spiritual delusions of grandeur are rampant among the leaders in the Assembly. They are dangerous to themselves and others. I think they have ruined enough lives for now it is time to have the Lord's help to save other truly innocent people in the Campuses and streets from this scourge to Christianity.

I am very sad that I ever was involved with this quote unquote Ministry. I don't wish this nightmare on anyone. I wish I could wake up and find out it was all a bad dream.

 :'(Anyone who trivializes this is not aware of the power of suggestion and brainwashing.  

There are many wounded people as a result of their association with the Assembly. I for one am going to a healthy Church and am enjoying every minute of it.  ;DThank you Jesus . I am there to listen and learn and correct the garbage that I learned in the GG dynasty.  >:(If people feel they are ready to lead fresh out of the Assembly I suggest you are only fooling yourself. The brainwashing I received goes very deep. I read verses and I hear George's voice almost. I hope people are honest about their involvement. You need to sit and watch and pray and see what a healthy faith based Church is about.  ::)It may appeal to you to go spouting off verses and be an expert in absolutely everything biblical and non biblical but we have two ears and one mouth and that is God's design not ours. I hope you all get it.

We need the whole Trinity to fix us up and we need to find out again what it means to hear God's voice and to get His leading. The ministry we got by and large was just garbage. It was all about outward performance with lip service to heart reality.  :(Stay away from the leaven of the Pharisees. You will end up like Jeff if you don't.  :(They are only sucking you in by their sweet siren voices but the rocks will sink your ship of faith. They can get all the information they need on the website. They are really not open to listen if they have not come out of hiding by now. Leave them alone, warn others, join a healthy Church and please don't bring your baggage with you, leave it at the door. You will be healed but it may take time.

Hey Arthur
Lord bless you  

I felt shock treatment is the only way to wake us all up.

Hugh  

[Arthur]

I am very sad that I ever was involved with this quote unquote Ministry. I don't wish this nightmare on anyone. I wish I could wake up and find out it was all a bad dream.

 :'(Anyone who trivializes this is not aware of the power of suggestion and brainwashing.  

There are many wounded people as a result of their association with the Assembly. I for one am going to a healthy Church and am enjoying every minute of it.  ;DThank you Jesus . I am there to listen and learn and correct the garbage that I learned in the GG dynasty.  >:(If people feel they are ready to lead fresh out of the Assembly I suggest you are only fooling yourself. The brainwashing I received goes very deep. I read verses and I hear George's voice almost.

I agree with you Hugh, it is very sad and deeply wounding.  I don't know how long it's been for you to be out, but I'm happy to say that it's a been about three years now and for the last few months I haven't heard George's words in my head or even thought much about the assembly at all.  I've taken some time off and haven't read the word much, but now I think I'm about to get back into it with a fresh view on life.

For so long I wondered about why God led me as he did and about the trama I went through and about how alone I felt.  But now it seems like God can indeed give me back my life as much as he can take it.  I keep telling him to take it easy because I don't know if I can go through something like that again and ever find my way back to sanity.  Who knows what the future holds.  I hope that I will always find the faith to trust that he is good and is watching over me.

Perhaps something like the Geftaksy Assembly is just a precursor to the battles ahead that we'll have to fight.   It may be that all of us will have to make our stand in the battle of good verses evil.  If so, our experience certainly has taught us much.

Lord bless you Hugh
Arthur

P.S. I don't know if you are into Star Trek very much, but there was an episode of The Next Generation in which one individual Borg named Hugh managed to be free from the Borg collective.  Your name reminded me of it.

[brian]

“…but this one thing I do, forgetting the those things that are behind, and reaching forth unto those things that are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.  Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing you be otherwise minded, God shall reveal this unto you.”  (Phil. 3:13-15)

wow, he even uses the same verse. i bet this is the first verse all the assembly kids have to learn in kids group these days. ONE THING, kids, ONLY one thing you really really need to do, and that is FORGET EVERYTHING that the people you looked up to and loved and trusted have done to betray you and give us your minds and hearts, here in this tiny isolated little bible study, so we can mold you into believing that everyone else out there is sick and wrong. fellowship with the vast overwhelming majority of the christian community is what we have LEFT BEHIND *jeff begins frantically tying on blindfolds and stuffing cotton in little ears*

February 25, 2004

Dear ______

I am sure that you are probably wondering what this is all about. Well, here it is a year later.  And truthfully, the timing of this letter is more a coincidence than you might suppose.

ah, a coincidence. clearly a sign of God's hand at work. unless it always takes jeff a year to make a single decision on his own, in which case this would be a sign of jeff at work.

It is rather the product of an early morning prompting by the Lord this morning at the conclusion of months and months of wrestling in my thoughts, in the Word, and in prayer.

yes, being blatantly and publicly double-minded and double-faced usually takes some serious private pep talks.

I am sure that as I explain myself, and it will take a bit of doing,

*brian grabs the front of jeff's shirt and pulls him into an eyeball-to-eyeball stare*

oh yes, just a bit.

that some of you will disagree with me or see things differently.  I am not worried about that.  That is up to you.  

wow jeff, you are so much more generous than you ever were for all those years you actually had a flock to lead. look at you, allowing us to have our own opinions and everything.

If you read to the end of the letter, it is my hope that you will see that I am only believeing God for His best for each of you by this and nothing else.

you hope thats what we see - even though that is not there to be seen. yes, well i can see where you would hope that.

It has taken me this year to come to the place I found myself at this morning; spontaneously repenting before the Lord for my failure in my service to you as a leader.  But perhaps not in the way some of you will think.  I failed to stand firm for God’s interests in the gathering here in SLO that He had raised up and which He certainly had no intention of destroying.  He did not destroy this gathering.  Men did and I realize now, that as a leader, I did not do all that I could do to stop this from happening.

these are the babblings of the quintessential doubleminded man, unstable in all his ways. anyone who could sign their name to the repentance letter that he did, publicly acknowledge fault, publicly step down, etc. then go back on it so completely could not possibly be anything but double-minded. he has now REPENTED (not just mumbled an apology, but REPENTED) in two diametrically opposed directions. so which one is the REAL repentence? which time was he REALLY reacting to God's voice? this blatant contradiction in thought, speech and behavior shows a fractured personality, and there is no way for him to escape the effects of that fracture.

what he is saying in the above paragraph is that God did not want the assembly in slo to disband, but men forced it to happen against God's will, and the main reason this amazing feat was possible is because JEFF did not stop it from happening. of course it has nothing to do with the blatant gross sins of physical and sexual abuse that jeff KNEW were going on and helped to cover up. that is why jeff is now repenting of not working much much harder to help cover it all up.

Our God is a God of restoration and gathering; a God of healing and binding up; a God of Resurrection and new life.

yes, so who is telling you to crawl back into the grave and play dead??

If He, and He knows the truth of all of our errors and sins, would not extinguish a dimly burning wick, should I have?

oh, so now not only did some men force something to happen against God's will, but YOU are the one who actually caused it ALL?? i guess i should be more careful where i drip my sarcasm. who knows what you might extinguish next.

I allowed things to happen that caused the gathering to become disheartened with no alternative apparently available to it but to disband.

i can see your months of private soliloquy have been fruitful. you have arrived at the conclusion that what went wrong is everyone just got kind of disheartened because of things you ALLOWED to happen. you must have a hard life, opening up the paper and reading of all the terrible things happening in the world that you are ALLOWING to happen on a daily basis. we'll all be sure to check with you first next time before speaking the truth, to make sure it is allowed. if only you had shouted 'ARE YOU REJOICING BROTHER?' a little more frantically and twice as often noone would have gotten disheartened and none of this would have happened.

Any and all of these things were sinful and wrong.  This was done in a variety of ways some of which included: stepping out of leadership, allowing the Tr0ckmans and my brother-in-law access into and influence in the gathering that they never should have had.  This led some of you to believe that it was okay to listen to what they had to say and to put confidence in them when they ultimately demonstrated that they were only committed to destroying, dividing and abolishing the gathering.  Allowing Heidi Johnson to come and disrupt the worship of our Lord, a meeting that was just a horror to most of us, my family included.  This never should have happened.  I read the articles on the web and let them affect me when the Lord’s word tell me that I have no business listening to gossip.  I should never have looked at any or it.  I believe that these things and more are totally contrary to scripture.  They should never have been allowed.  For this I ask your forgiveness.

based on your own admission to having allowed all these things that you call so very sinful and wrong, why should anyone ever believe you when you say you are hearing God's voice again? apart from all the glaring reasons noone will ever take anything you say seriously again that are waiting out there in consensual reality for you to stumble across.

Further, I ask your forgiveness for even bringing up these details just mentioned.

if you really thought mentioning those details was something we needed to forgive, you could have easily deleted them BEFORE YOU SENT US THE LETTER. you can't even be internally consistent long enough to write a letter, and you want to start up a gathering of God's people in your home, alone, starting with just your family. my heart sobs for what you will put your family though.

I am sure that most, if not all of you, do not want to be reminded of such events.  For me it is necessary because I don’t want to miss the lessons that the Lord has for me.

well as long as reopening old and slightly healed wounds is necessary for YOU, then thats all that really matters i guess.

(continued in part 2)

[brian]

this is part 2. read the post before this one for context.

It has taken me this long to see how hard it is for me to go against the grain and stand by my convictions especially when it is costly and very unpopular.  This, I am learning to do.  This letter is some evidence of this.

well at least you're a quick learner. hopefully it will take you less than a year to learn that usually when things are costly and very unpopular among God's people (you know, the ones NOT in a cult) its because they are sick and wrong.

I conferred with no one and sought no one’s approval on this letter except my Lord though I knew that many if not most would not agree with me.  That can no longer determine me.  His Word and His Spirit must.

yeah, fellowship is highly overrated anyway. its probably best to follow that voice inside that tells you to cut off all fellowship and just meet with yourself in your own house. its so much easier to convince yourself that those voices are God speaking when you are isolated, and then you'll feel really good about God speaking to you. and hey, He is saying exactly what you think, which is just another one of those miraculous coincidences that only confirms that what you want to do is God's will, and God's will is what you want to do.

This is not to suggest that I don’t believe in the scriptural thought of “in the multitude of counselors, there is wisdom”. I still believe in seeking Godly counsel.  In fact, many years of studying, praying, and counseling have brought me to the biblical convictions that I have that dictate the thoughts of such a letter as this.

does this conjure up images for anyone else of david sitting across the table from jeff glaring at jeff while he writes this, making comments and corrections as he goes? or perhaps george leaning over from behind and barking into his ear? david and george both repeated themselves a lot just for occasions like this, when one is sitting alone and waiting for someone from their past to tell them what to do. so jeff, you still believe in seeking Godly counsel, yet the counsel that lead you to write this letter and take these actions all happened years ago? what about the Godly counsel at the church you have been attending, what did they say?

and btw, you seem deeply confused about what a multitude of counselors looks like. you spending many years praying, reading the bible, and giving counsel does not a multitude of counselors make. finding wisdom in a multitude of counselors involves listening with an open mind to a variety of Godly people who may not tell you what you want to hear. the very fact that you naturally link the above concepts in your mind shows the depth of your self-deception.

So, in order for me to “forget the things that are behind and reach forth to what’s before” this letter to you was necessary.

well lets hope noones reaction to it disturbs your happily forgetful little daydream. otherwise this little plan of yours could go horribly wrong, and the most embarassing parts of your thoroughly corrupted character will be out in public for everyone to see.

Most every day I am reminded of John 8:31: “If you continue in my word, then are you my disciples indeed…” And, “he who loves his life will lose it.”  (John 12:25)  I am so compelled to, by love, continue in His Word; not by guilt but by love because it is His character and His way of doing things.  To continue in His Word means just simply that; to continue in those things that He has shown me and those things that He is showing me.  To be a worshipper in Spirit and in truth; to follow Him; to be a witness; to be a disciple and a discipler; to answer His great commission; to live in simple obedience to His word by faith, seeking to apply it in every practical way; to serve Him; to continue in prayer; the word, worship and fellowship; to gather to Him, the living head, in New Testament simplicity; to go the way of the cross;

to continue in His word means simply just what?? there is nothing "simply just" about that whole big pile of disgusting fakery you are trying to use to hide from the reality of what you are doing and thinking. just because you are repeating spiritual phrases does not mean you are living them, and fellowship seems to be pretty high on your priority list of things you want your head firmly in the sand about. you are trying to say that to continue in His word means to rebuild the assembly, which is such a twisted thing to say that you are muffing it badly. there is just no way to say it without massive internal contradictions (let alone glaring external ones).

all of these things and more once again come fresh into mind and heart and I joyfully want to respond.

yeah, that would be the brainwashing we have all been talking about. i've never seen such a clear and public example of its effects.

This I intend, by the abundant, sufficient grace of God to do.  “And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work.”  (II Cor. 9:.

Although I truly do not know what the future hold, I know that ultimately it is bright and that it is my determination to direct my steps into His will.

if only your determination to direct your own steps into His will is all it took... being isolated in your house will certainly help you convince yourself you are in His will, which clearly is all you are really after here.

And in the meantime, as I mentioned above, I plan to “continue in His Word.”

*brian visibly winces*

Pray for me that I would and that I would be willing to be led by His Spirit that the Father may be glorified through the Son.

i think its pretty well been established in christianity that the Father will be glorified by the Son. but i really don't think mysticism is going to lead you into the peace and clarity you seek in what you call "God's will". the closest you will ever get to peace is by hiding from anyone who points out your glaring contradictions in character, because you simply can't bear to face them and resolve them. if you could, then you would start really finding peace, and you would babble empty spiritual-sounding phrases a lot less, which would be nice.

One practical implementation I will mention to you is that each Sunday my family and I are worshipping the Lord together at our home.  This is a simple but joyful time for us.  If you so desire to come sometime, you are certainly welcome.

the penny drops. this is actually a bible study invitation. the first part is what we call "patter". remember all those great sales techniques we all learned in order to polish up our outreach and invitation skills?

jeff could have told us lots of practical ways his new and improved (50% more for free) service to God is manifesting itself, but we conveniently learn that it is in the form of a meeting in his home, which, btw, we are all welcome to come to. jeff, you sly dog, could you BE any more obvious as to your true motives in sending these letters?

I do want you to know that I remain your brother and friend.  Always know that you can come and talk or pray or fellowship with us.  We have time and an open door for you.  May the Lord bless each one of you in whatever endeavors/fellowships you are involved in for His glory.  May you love His cross and cling to Him as enough for your every need.

that sounds nice too. when should i come over?

Finally, I do not mean to stir up any trouble for you.  That is the last thing I want to do.  Nor do I want to put any guilty upon you.  You do no owe me anything.  You don’t even need to respond to this letter.  I am not writing it to evoke a response.  I prefer that my thoughts to you stay with you alone.

it really makes so much sense that you would prefer that.

I must admit, I don’t enjoy being the subject of more gossip but if I must, I am willing to pay that price.  It matters no to me anymore.  If it does, then I really have learned nothing through all of this.

can i quote you on the learning nothing part as soon as it starts mattering to you?

all that being said, i really don't think we have much to fear from this guy. its just that, instead of wasting 20 or so years of his life, he is determined to waste a few more. his conscience has been seared off, he has fractured his personality by allowing corruption into his deepest parts, and he will most likely never get free from the effects of that. its tragic and sad, but it was his choice. what makes my blood boil is that it was not his childrens choices - and lets hope it stops there, and no other young innocents get pulled in. for these reasons, i think you should react to this letter and what is happening around it if you want to, and if you have moved on and really would be better off not getting involved then i would never judge you for that. we are all at very different places, and i don't think any of us can say conclusively what the proper reaction for anyone else is. there are legitimate moral outrages being perpetrated here, many of which have yet to come to light, so its not fair to say that people who get involved with this need to "get a life". on the other hand, moral outrages occur every day around all of us, and it is each individual's decision as to which ones they will respond to. i for one am not finished making sure these guys don't hurt anyone else and eventually face the consequences of their actions over all these years. and there are far more dedicated folks than me who feel the same way, so kudos to them for fighting the good fight.

brian

[Recovering Saint]

I agree with you Hugh, it is very sad and deeply wounding.  I don't know how long it's been for you to be out, but I'm happy to say that it's a been about three years now and for the last few months I haven't heard George's words in my head or even thought much about the assembly at all.  I've taken some time off and haven't read the word much, but now I think I'm about to get back into it with a fresh view on life.

....

P.S. I don't know if you are into Star Trek very much, but there was an episode of The Next Generation in which one individual Borg named Hugh managed to be free from the Borg collective.  Your name reminded me of it.

I am out since July 2003.  ;DSo you saw me on Star Trek I was a new recruit in the Assembly and was dubed a nickname like Picards I was "the cutest of the Borg".

I like Star Trek because it deals with real situations and resolves them in insightful ways. I know the Assembly leaders were more "spiritual" but I am sorry because most of the time I just "missed" their subjective "mysticism".

Lord bless

Hugh

[M2]

Brian, you have quite a talent for gossip.  But, since Jeff won't be reading this BB, you are quite safe; he won't know.

I was thinking that the reason Jeff threw in the "multitude of counsellors" part was just in case he did manage to recruit some poor soul. He would not want that individual making up his own mind like he, Jeff, did.  But rather he would want that inidividual to seek his, Jeff's, counsel about everything so that he, Jeff, could control him.

I feel sorry for Jeff's wife and kids.  Actually, I do not know about his wife.  Is she right alongside with him on this?

Marcia

[editor]

all that being said, i really don't think we have much to fear from this guy. its just that, instead of wasting 20 or so years of his life, he is determined to waste a few more. his conscience has been seared off, he has fractured his personality by allowing corruption into his deepest parts, and he will most likely never get free from the effects of that. its tragic and sad, but it was his choice. what makes my blood boil is that it was not his childrens choices - and lets hope it stops there, and no other young innocents get pulled in. for these reasons, i think you should react to this letter and what is happening around it if you want to, and if you have moved on and really would be better off not getting involved then i would never judge you for that. we are all at very different places, and i don't think any of us can say conclusively what the proper reaction for anyone else is. there are legitimate moral outrages being perpetrated here, many of which have yet to come to light, so its not fair to say that people who get involved with this need to "get a life". on the other hand, moral outrages occur every day around all of us, and it is each individual's decision as to which ones they will respond to. i for one am not finished making sure these guys don't hurt anyone else and eventually face the consequences of their actions over all these years. and there are far more dedicated folks than me who feel the same way, so kudos to them for fighting the good fight.

brian

Thanks Brian,

You expressed my thoughts better than I could have.  At face value, Jeff's letter is exactly what you say.  However, as you suggest in your commentary, the history of the last year demonstrates that Jeff is thoroughly corrupted.

The only thing sad about this is the thought of his children, who have been making friends and enjoying their new church.  How cruel of Jeff to put his vision of automatons filling his living room, wearing ties and headcoverings and saying "Amen, Praise the Lord," ahead of the emotional and spiritual well being of his children.

Well, hey, the Bible says that we must hate father, mother, children for His sake, right?  Just substitute "His" referring of course to God, for "Geftakys Assembly," and Jeff is doing great.

I am sure all of you understand the many nuances and dire warnings Jeff gives us in his letter, but in case somone hasn't read it too carefully, I want to point out a few things.

"I conferred with no one and sought no ones' approval,"  means he spoke with Scott Testa, Dan Matsen-boze, and possibly Wes Cohen, and did exactly what they said.  Anyone who knows Jeff----I saw him daily for 14 of 17 years in fellowship, and weekly for the other 3 years---knows that Jeff never does anything without being told.  He is the quintessestial lieutenant, great at carrying out orders, but entirely unable to do anything on his own.

Jeff not only didn't "run this by" any of the SLO pastors that are personally involved with the Assembly, and were there when Jeff "repented," he has been lying to them since day one!!  The candlestick that Jeff is going to put up in his house is lit by a dung fire.  Grace and truth are not part of its foundation, but lies and deception are.

However, the most ominous phrase in Jeff's letter is where he says:

to be a disciple and a discipler

What this means is that Jeff is worshipping Scott Testa----that's the disciple part.  
However, what is even worse is that Jeff is going to need some disciples in order to get that part of the "New Testament simplicity," on line.

He hopes these "disciples" will come from his letter, his fellow addicts who live next door to him----picture 3 houses next door to eachother,  the Lehmkuhl's,  a "brothers'" house filled with Jeff and Roberto's former butlers and servants, and the Sanchez's in the third house.  That's their living situation, an Assembly ghetto-----and the worst thing of all......Jeff hopes to get some disciples from his kids friends at highschool and from his influence as a teacher there.  

He did it in the past, and he is going back to what he used to do (forgetting those things that are behind apparently means the last year only, he should remember and practice everything else).

My efforts are going to be directed at marking him and isolating him from the youth of San Luis Obispo, who may get sucked in like I did.

Jeff has declared with his letter that his God is George's vision.  Jeff's Christ isn't a person, it's a gathering of sick, deceived people.  Jeff's idea of discipling is to brainwash a person into sacrificing themselves to further the cause of a cult, who's ulitmate end is to meet the personal needs of the leaders.

Jeff misses that the most.  It was financially better for him when he had four or five rent paying brothers to train and order around.  He needs that now, because being a normal person in a healthy church just isn't as fulfilling.

Brent

[delila]

About the Jeff L. situation:

Jeff, whom I've never met, but with whom I have something in common.  

Lonely, dissolusioned, I once tried to go back to the assembly.  This was years ago.  What I remember was being lonely, being drawn once again like a magnet to people who believed they knew what they were doing, in a world where very few even considered what they were doing very deeply.  How lonely and how lost Jeff must feel without the assembly compass to point the way to George, to sure markers of 'spirituality' that were easily measured: going to the meetings?  training someone?  family 'in order' (heads down and smiling, nodding, etc.), brains turned off?  unquestioning loyalty?  Yes, the assembly expects it all.  And the spiritually hollow person is craving that validation (backhanded as it is) from the self proclaimed and powerful leaders.

I feel sad for Jeff, and yes, I feel worse for his children.  But as I read Jeff's letter I thought, and still think about Jeff's situation in these terms (the same terms I think about those in Omaha and Ottawa and Estevan who seek to rebuild G's dynasty):
this is your brain on drugs.

drj

[Margaret]

Another comment on the Jeff L. situation:

We've been where Jeff was this past year - big frogs from a little pond suddenly finding themselves tadpoles in the big river of the real church.  It was shocking and uncomfortable, to say the least.  Part of our addiction was to the false sense of self-importance the assembly gave us.  Sick sick sick.  The bone deep longing to be respected, to be looked up to is a fever that's hard to burn out of oneself.  One can be on a dry drunk for a long time while it's getting extinguished by continual repentance from it.  (For the non-alcoholics, a dry drunk is when your're sober but you wish you were drinking.)  

[editor]

Another comment on the Jeff L. situation:

We've been where Jeff was this past year - big frogs from a little pond suddenly finding themselves tadpoles in the big river of the real church.  It was shocking and uncomfortable, to say the least.  Part of our addiction was to the false sense of self-importance the assembly gave us.  Sick sick sick.  The bone deep longing to be respected, to be looked up to is a fever that's hard to burn out of oneself.  One can be on a dry drunk for a long time while it's getting extinguished by continual repentance from it.  (For the non-alcoholics, a dry drunk is when your're sober but you wish you were drinking.)  

Your analogy is right on the money Margaret.

I can also sympathize, and I know what it is like to long for respect and recognition.

However, due to reading, and talking with people, making myself open and vulnerable, i was able to see this sickness and repent of it continually, as you say.

Jeff has far more of a willing, ready support structure than I had, and certainly more than you and Steve had a decade ago.  However, he hasn't made use of it.  On the contrary, he has used deception and avoidance, because he knew all along that he would be doing what he is doing right now.

I found out last June that Jeff had been "discipling," a young man all through the the fall of '02, right up to and past the excommunication of George, Jeff stepping down and the Assembly going out of business.  Throughout this time, Jeff had been "preaching" on the campus, and this young man had no news about the tumultuous events that were going on in Jeff's life.

One would suppose that in a genuine relationship, the learner would at least know about big things like that, eh?

When I found out about this, I called Jeff, and spoke to his young recruit.  Jeff denied having a "discipleship" relationship, but grudgingly admitted to meeting with the young man after unsuccessful evasive tactics.  

His young recruit told me,  "Wow,  I had no idea.  I'll tell Jeff I don't want to be under his authority anymore."  Interesting choice of words, don't you think?  Sadly, this poor simple lad is still meeting with Jeff from time to time.

During my confrontation with Jeff at this point, Jeff assured me that he "wasn't going to start anything."   He also assured me that he "never wanted to lead again."  He went on to get very angry with me and yelled,  "I'm tired of being controlled by you!"  I understand how it feels to be controlled, believe me!  However, I wasn't controlling him at all, I was confronting him with his own deception.

Well, I blew it.  I always knew that Jeff has never truly repented.  As much as I wanted to believe that he would take time to "process," and recover, I know now that he won't.  I am also highly suspicious of any former leader or worker who is the least bit unclear about where they stand.  Their lack of biblical repentance is strong evidence that they are still stubbornly in sin, and not in some slow process of waking up.

Much will be seen in the coming weeks.

People are saying that George is innocent.  Are the ex/current leaders in Fullerton going to let the women hang and twist in the wind, or do they have the courage to finally do something for the truth?

Brent

[delila]

The edited truth stands, doesn't it?  It has to or people can not live with themselves.  Here in Estevan, hundreds of miles away, x leaders who still want to be leaders in many respects disown George, some won't even enter into a conversation about George, and yet, are still bound and seek to bind others by the same assembly code of silence that ruled in George's era.  Until we face the truths that we know, and drop the assembly nails in the coffin that scream "gossip" whenever the truth is uttered, we can not hope to have our consciences healed.  
That Jeff reacted like a trapped animal and screamed accusations of being controlled when confronted about the lies he sought to cover is just another indicator that he loves the lies.  I really must confess, I feel sorry for a few individuals I know in similar situations.  I see them killing themselves on the principles they are yet advocating, though George taught these things, though they will not hear George's name.  Truly George did replace the mind and spirit of God in those he mastered.  George has no idea how truly successful he was.

Aside:
My Dad had a donkey once who banged his own head against a steel fence until he killed himself one winter.  Yup, mom watched from the picture window and told us all about it later.  I'm still sick when the image comes to mind.  Poor Jeff.

delila